A/N: Prompt was CRACK: Yugyeom has a grow spurt after which he ends up with limbs sticking out of windows and doors. So here, have some OT7!Crack XD

And no, I did NOT forget about Youngjae, I promise he shows up later!

It started with a hoot of joy.

“Look look look!” Yugyeom busted out of his room clad only in a pair of blue and white checkered boxers, wilding waving a pair of light blue jeans.

“What?” Mark was the only one who cared to reply, smiling kindly at the maknae. Jaebum was currently grasping blindly at the faucet with his eyes closed, too busy attempting to turn the water off to pay their youngest any attention. Bambam was crouched by the leader’s feet, sluggishly mopping up a puddle of milk on the floor that had been undoubtedly spilt by the lack of coordination he possessed in the mornings. Jinyoung and Jackson were both completely out of it, the former slumped over the kitchen table with glassy eyes while the latter sat staring stupidly into space, teetering on the edge of his chair.

Youngjae was nowhere in sight.

So while he appreciated Mark’s efforts, Yugyeom was not impressed by the reactions (or lack of reaction altogether) of s.

“Yahhhh,” he whined, stomping a foot so the whole floor vibrated, jerking Jackson out of his trance as he nearly fell out of his chair, “this is important! Hyunggggg~”

Jaebum finally managed to pry his eyes open and conquer the faucet and Bambam blinked, realizing the towel he’d been using to scrub at the floor was already completely saturated and he’d only been sloshing the milk around messily. He stood sheepishly to wring out the towel, prodding Jinyoung on the way.

“Uh,” Jaebum managed an intelligent grunt.

Thank god they still had Mark.

“What’s up with your pants, Yugyeom?” Mark inquired calmly, easily putting two and two together while the rest of his dongsaengs were still struggling to remember how to move their mouths.

“Look look look!” Yugyeom stepped into the left pant leg, yanking it upwards, not even bothering with the other side.

“Um,” Jinyoung’s brow furrowed, clearly uncomprehending.

“I’ve grown! A lot!” Yugyeom finally couldn’t stand it any longer, blurting out the answer he was looking for.

It was only now that the other five pairs of eyes traveled down to stare the hem of Yugyeom’s jeans, noting they were a good four centimeters above his ankles.

“Wow. Was that…overnight?” Jaebum rubbed his eyes before looking again, clearly in a state of disbelief.

“Yeah! Now I’m 182! Wooohoooo!” Yugyeom pulled the jeans off, twirling them above his head like a lasso. Bambam looked on jealously.

Mark however, frowned, a hint of worry on his face.

“It looked like a good four centimeters to me, not only two Yugyeom-ah.”

Yugyeom stopped twirling the pants.

“Really? It looked like two centimeters earlier…” he stared down at his pants speculatively before breaking out into a grin. “Well, 184 then! Even better!”

“How about let’s measure?” Jinyoung suggested, standing up to look for the tape measure he knew they had somewhere. Mark and Jaebum followed out of the room as well, leaving Jackson to take that as his cue to shove Yugyeom against the wall, eyes narrowed as he leaned up even further than usual to whisper in his ear.

“So. Whatcha on?”

“On?” Yugyeom was confused.

“Yeah, what did you take? Why didn’t you share with me, you’re already the tallest anyways!” Bambam added, sidling up on the other side of Yugyeom with a petulant frown.

“On? Take?” Now Yugyeom was thoroughly lost.

Jackson rolled his eyes.

“Normal people don’t just grow four centimeters overnight. So, gonna share your trade secret?”
Comprehension finally dawned on Yugyeom’s face and he blushed, shoving Jackson away.

“I’m not on drugs, you idiots! I just woke up like this!” Yugyeom insisted.

“Uh-huh,” Jackson was clearly unconvinced and opened his mouth to advance his argument further but was interrupted by an annoyed Jinyoung.

“Wang Jackson why in the world was the tape measure tangled in your blankets?” Jinyoung huffed as he stomped back into the room, an amused Mark and suspicious Jaebum trailing behind him.

 “Well, I wanted to measure something,” Jackson was unruffled in his response.

“And pray tell, what in the world did you need to measure in your bed?”

Jackson smirked, shrugging with an air of nonchalance.

“Well, I was just curious how long exactly my MMFFFFFF–”

“Shut up,” Jaebum slapped a hand over Jackson’s mouth, shooting him glare. Jinyoung shot a firm look at Bambam as well, who was giggling at the insinuation.

Yugyeom was just as clueless as ever.

“Let’s just measure how tall you are, alright?” Mark cut in smoothly, forever the pacifist. Jaebum was handed the tape measure as the next tallest present, and Yugyeom obediently stood straight with his back against the wall. Jackson was now angrily muttering something about his snapbacks, but no one paid him any attention.

“Ummm,” Jaebum stood on his tiptoes, squinting at the tiny number. “185?”

“Holy ,” Jackson’s eyes widened and Bambam quickly echoed the same sentiment.

“No wait…” Jaebum strained his neck, “185.25…185.5…”

Jaebum suddenly jumped back, dropping the tape measure as if it’d burned him.

“Y-You’re still growing!”

“B-But that’s impossible!” Yugyeom immediately denied, eyes growing wide as he finally showed fear for the first time.

They all crowded around their maknae, scrutinizing him and sure enough, it only took a minute to discern that he was indeed still growing, slowly inching upwards as his body enlarged proportionately.

“Damn,” Jackson was the first to speak beyond Yugyeom’s frightened whimpers. “Those were some strong ‘roids you took there, Yugyeommie.”

“I didn’t take steroids!” Yugyeom practically wailed, the panic now settling in, “I didn’t do anything!”

“W-We’ll figure it out, you won’t grow forever, that’d be just as impossible,” Jinyoung pat Yugyeom on the arm reassuringly, but his stammered words weren’t at all convincing.

“Um, is it just me or is he growing even faster?” Bambam spoke up tentatively, causing Yugyeom to let out another pitiful wail.

Indeed, the rate of growth seemed to have visibly increased just within the few minutes that they were talking, and Yugyeom’s height was now getting dangerously close to the ceiling.

“ ,” Jaebum cursed, looking around wildly as if some answer would appear magically in the air in front of him.

“I want to stop growing!” Yugyeom’s breath quickened, all the implications and what-ifs hitting him at once. “What if I never stop? What if I explode? What if I shoot off like rocket like in Tom and Jerry? What if I implode? What if I turn into a balloon and float away or–”

“It’ll be okay,” Jinyoung cut him off, shaking his resolutely but face getting paler by the second.

“Do you remember doing anything weird? Eating or drinking anything funny?” Jaebum asked desperately. “Coming into contact with a sasaeng fan?”

“No! All I drank was some water this morning!” Yugyeom shook his head just as the top of his hair brushed the ceiling and he screamed, immediately sitting down and nearly crushing Bambam’s foot in the process.

“OW WATCH IT!” Bambam screeched, barely managing to dart out of the way. “Hyung what do we do?”

With that question they all turned to Jaebum, who froze.  The weight of being leader had never felt more crushing. Jaebum gulped, brow furrowing as his eyes narrowed and they could practically see the wheels turning in his head.

A minute later, his expression cleared with a look of triumph. His fellow members waiting, anticipation building at the resolution in Jaebum's eyes.

Jaebum turned quickly to Mark.

“Mark -hyungnim,” he said, for the first time with respect and deference, “what should we do?”

There was a moment of silence, one of those golden moments filled with the potential of turning into either riotous laughter or inconsolable bawling. But then the dangerous moment passed and everyone’s attention shifted to the eldest hyung. Jaebum exhaled in relief.

Mark only blinked, startled.

Another blink.

More silence.

“I’ll call manager-hyung to cancel our schedules for the day.”

Mark’s last words had barely left his mouth before he’d retreated from the room, escaping the situation.

And like magnets, all eyes were back on Jaebum once more.

Fortunately, he was spared from delivering some sort of a genius plan of action (because let’s be honest here Jaebum’s plans never turn out well anyways) by a sudden resounding thud, followed by a series of much more painful sounding thunks and a howl of pain.

“Yugyeom!” Jinyoung laid sprawled on the floor, one hand rubbing his head and the other going down to massage his knee. But when he looked up and realized what had knocked him over, he was immediately scrambling backwards, whimpering in fear.

While they’d been busy trying to pin down an authority figure, Yugyeom  had literally begun to swell, limbs still enlarging at a rate proportionate to his height but now his torso was longer than their kitchen table, limbs flailing as he tried to right himself but hitting the ceiling every time.

“Make it stop!” Yugyeom was nearly hyperventilating now, the rise and fall of his chest so pronounced that it pushed Bambam back a couple of steps.

“Um um um um I’LL GET A KNIFE!” Bambam stepped up courageously. He eyed Yugyeom’s arm like it was hurtle, preparing himself to launch over it.

“WHAT NO–” Jaebum, finally deciding to live up to his title as leader, yanked Bambam back by the collar of his shirt, nearly choking him.

“But but but he’s like Aunt Marge!” Bambam quickly tried to explain.

“Who the hell is Aunt Marge?” Jaebum nearly screamed. “And what the HELL does that have to do with a KNIFE?”

“IM JAEBUM I AM OFFENDED!” Surprisingly Jinyoung was the one cut in, completely ignoring Yugyeom’s pitiful sobbing in the background as a couple of dishes were swept off the counter and shattered against the floor. “HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HARRY POTTER?”

Jackson perked up.

“Did someone say Harry Potter?”
“Well I apologize I don’t know every single freaking Harry Potter character!” Jaebum shot back, still struggling to restrain a squirming Bambam while pulling him back to avoid the still growing Yugyeom.

“WE CAN POP HIM LIKE A BALLOON!” Bambam  insisted, gasping as he twisted furiously in Jaebum’s choke hold.

“Hey, don’t choke my baby!” Jackson scolded, prying Jaebum’s hands from around Bambam’s neck. “I’ve got this,” he assured, stepping out confidently in front them.

He took a death breath, widening his stance with his eyes narrowed.

“MAKNAE REDUCIO!” he bellowed, shooting his palms straight out with his arms extended in a move reminiscent of Dragon Ball Z (or their Around the World chorus…).

The clear sound of glass shattering echoed in the dorm as Yugyeom’s head broke through the window, and they all screamed together in unison. Or maybe it was closer to a harmony, a clashing minor scale that escalated into a shriek.

“MAKE IT STOPPPPPP!”

“UM SORRY UM SPELLO REVERSO!”

“BECOMO TINIO!”

“SHRINKENDO STUPENDO!” Bambam added for good measure.

“SHUT UP THOSE AREN’T REAL SPELLS!” Jinyoung screeched as he and Jaebum yanked the ThaiKong duo into an adjacent hallway, narrowly avoiding Yugyeom’s foot that extended to pushed through the door.

“PLEASEEEEEEE I’LL BE GOOD I’LL NEVER TALK BACK AGAIN OR HACK INTO HYUNG’S COMPUTERS OR STEAL FOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT EVER AGAIN JUST PLEASE STOPPPPPP!” The flood could no longer be contained as fat droplets rolled down Yugyeom’s cheeks, each tear the size of a basketball as they splashed down in loud splatters.

“No no no no no don’t cry Yugyeommie!” Jaebum panicked. “You’re gonna drown us! Our dorm will turn into an–”

“I convinced Manager-hyung that we were all…” a deep voice interrupted and they turned to see Mark peering cautiously around the corner, voice trailing off as he took in the sight of Yugeom’s current position.

“Hyung! Do something!” Jinyoung immediately implored, seconded by a low whine from their horizontal maknae, but Mark didn’t appear to be listening, eyes slowly widening instead.

“Ah!” Mark snapped his fingers, struck by a sudden revelation. “You’re Alice!”

And with that, he disappeared again, leaving his dongsaengs to despair.

“HYUNGGGGG!”

The next thing to break was their dinner table, cracking right down the middle as Yugyeom’s rear shoved it against the wall. His elbow was now jammed against the ceiling, knee against the refrigerator, any empty space rapidly being replaced by some swelling portion of their youngest member.

Jaebum his lips, gulping as he steeled himself. At this rate, Yugyeom was going to be breaking the walls next. Something needed to be done.

“Bambam,” Jaebum said gravely. “Get the knife.”

“YES SIR!” Bambam immediately saluted, grinning gleefully at being doled some sort of responsibility, but even more proud that his idea was going to be actualized.

“NOOOOO YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME!”

But before Bambam could even begin to figure out how to maneuver over to their drawer of kitchen utensils, a slim figure suddenly darted past. It took a few seconds for them to identify the blur as Mark, and by the time they recognized him he’d already lightly made his way over to the other side of the dorm, easily slipping through the gaps and under the crook of Yugyeom’s elbow. He stopped by the window, climbing onto Yugyeom’s chest and reaching out through the broken glass to reach Yugyeom’s head. They couldn’t see anything else beyond this point, hearing only a gentle “open up” followed by a wet, spluttering cough.

And then Yugyeom was shrinking. Much faster than he’d grown, the shrinking was rapid, jammed and twisted appendages popping as they righted themselves, Yugyeom’s head retracted back into the dorm, leaving Mark to tumble off gracefully.

The transformation finished in less than a minute, leaving Yugyeom sitting sprawled on the floor, looking completely drained but finally normal sized.
They could only stand there gawking, the only evidence of their traumatic experience the destroyed furniture scattered around them.

“How–” Jaebum was the first to find his voice again, reverence and awe in his eyes as he turned to Mark, who was Yugyeom’s hair fondly.

“He was just like Alice,” Mark repeated, holding up an empty glass of water with a small smile.

“Like…Alice from Alice in Wonderland?” Bambam asked in wonder.

“But how did you know? And is that special water or just the same water from his bedside table? Where did you get it? HOW??” Jinyoung blathered, relief evident but still very rattled.

Mark only shrugged, smile mysterious.

“Wait. Alice?” Jackson blurted, a mischievous smirk growing wider and splitting into a grin. “AWWWW I ALWAYS KNEW YOU’D MAKE AN ADORABLE YOUNGER SISTER YUGYEOMMIE!”

And with that Jackson promptly glomped Yugyeom, tugging at his hair while cooing about how cute he looked that last time with all the hairbands and clips. That’s all it took for Bambam to join in as well, easily avoiding Yugyeom’s squawks of indignation and attempts to swat their arms away.

Jaebum, however, couldn’t share their excitement. The initial of rush of relief had been fleeting in light of the current state of their dorm. Sickly dread settled in his stomach; how in the world was he going to explain this to management?

He was so lost in thought he didn’t hear the shuffling behind him, jerking only when a drowsy head came to rest on his shoulder.

“Hyungggg,” it was the sleep-laden voice of Youngjae, “why didn’t you wake me upppp?”

Jaebum turned, expression a mixture of incredulousness, awe, and fury; he pointedly ignored the fact that he hadn’t even realized they’d been missing a member through all the chaos.

“Do not just tell me you slept through all that. There’s no way.”

“What you  talkin’ ‘bout? Slept through what?” Youngjae mumbled against Jaebum’s collarbone, eyes still firmly shut. “Man’ger called, woke me up., says he comin’ over or somethin’, dunno why though dun understand.”

The last sentence caught everyone’s attention, or more specifically, the mention of their manager. An uneasy silence descended as they all shared the same looks of panic.

We’re screwed.

Jaebum stepped back, brain working overtime to come up with a somewhat plausible excuse. This dislodged Youngjae’s head from his shoulder, causing him to sway. Youngjae reached out blindly to put a hand against the wall to steady himself, the other hand coming up to rub his eyes. He yawned, tentatively opening one eyelid after the other until he was finally greeted with the view of the wreckage that was their dorm.

Youngjae blinked.

He blinked again.

Three more times.

“What the… WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GUYS DO?”

Jinyoung winced at the volume of their lead vocal’s voice, reaching over to slap him on the back of his head but Jaebum was suddenly much more preoccupied by the sounds outside of their door.

“Shiiiiiit,” Jaebum swore, giving up on thinking of an excuse and now searched frantically for some sort of an escape route. His eyes connected with Jackson’s over Yugyeom’s head, who smirked knowingly. He nodded towards the broken window, then gestured towards Youngjae, who still hadn’t managed to regain control over his dropped jaw.

Jaebum understood, hesitating only for a fraction of second before nodding sharply in affirmation; desperate times called for desperate measures.

He only hoped Youngjae would forgive them eventually.

“Youngjae-ah go answer the door for manager-hyungnim, will ya?”Jackson asked briskly, tugging the pliant younger towards the door. Behind his back, Jaebum quickly gestured for others to head towards the window.

By the time Youngjae’s sluggish, not yet awake mind finally put two-and-two together, it was too late.

The door was already open, reckoning already arrived.

“IT WASN’T ME!”

A/N: Please comment, subscribe,and upvote if you enjoyed, and don't forget to check out 7fics for more got7 fanfics! If you've got requests, that would be the place to leave 'em!