R A M Y U N - 01

May 5th, 2014

“Wow, this is so cheesy,“ I muttered to myself, as I absentmindedly slurped down a big load of saeutang-shrimp-ramyun. I had been lying face-down on my bed for the past two hours, watching all of Infinite’s music videos, and had eventually ended up at their sub-units’ releases. I was currently watching the music video to the ToHeart debut single Delicious, in which WooHyun and SHINee’s Key were fighting over a non-existent female lead – which, knowing WooHyun’s cheesy image – was most probably supposed to be the (female) viewer. Fan-service at its best, so to say.
 
As I skipped through the comments section of the video, I was informed that the two idols were close friends off-camera. I tried to remember SungGyu having mentioned anything of it but I failed to; but why would I? I had never been interested in the other members’ whereabouts, let alone their personal relationships.
 
Yet here I was now, trying to make up for my lack of interest by watching as many Infinite-related things as I could. After all, I had less than six hours left until SeRi and I would depart for the New Life For Children event SungGyu had invited me to. I didn't want to completely embarrass myself by not knowing anything about them.
 
In case you're wondering why SeRi was joining me for the showcase, let me explain: being the lazy idiot that I sometimes am, I forgot to switch off the pop-up setting for my Kakaotalk messages (even after what happened with Professor Lee). So when SungGyu sent me the details for the today’s stage, SeRi accidentally saw them pop up on the screen. Naturally, she asked me what all that was about, and one thing led to another; awkwardly enough, SeRi was much into the hallyu wave, and insisted on coming along to the New Life For Children showcase after I told her how I knew SungGyu. SeRi actually tried to be offended for me not letting her in on my friendship with SungGyu, but I guess she understood my reasons for not telling her because the next day she made me breakfast, asking sweetly if there was a possibility of meeting MyungSoo (who apparently was her bias).
 
It wasn't that I had purposely kept him a secret from her; I just never felt the need to tell her. After all I only ever met SungGyu at work. But when SeRi didn't stop bothering me I messaged SungGyu, asking him if I could bring along a friend. He agreed instantly, with the only condition being that the friend was not JaeJin. 
 
I sighed, as I watched WooHyun dance around in the Delicious music video. Despite crash-coursing through all of Infinite's main releases, the bitter feeling of having been a bad friend to SungGyu still didn’t go away.  It was weird to watch the boys on my laptop, especially after I had met them on SungGyu’s birthday. It seemed too surreal to think I knew these guys, who were all dressed up, with heavy make-up, dancing in music videos even shot at Universal Studios in Los Angeles. My research showed that Destiny cost over a Million Dollars - which was hard to proceed when in fact I knew them as seven guys who spent their evenings bickering over who got the largest portion of jjajangmyun. And mostly SungGyu, who just seemed to need a short break from dance practices and recording sessions, ordering food at my uncle's place from time to time. He seems all too normal to me. I guessed the realization of them being idols would most probably hit me once I saw them live on stage.
 
When I finished watching the funny – yet cheesy – take-outs at the end of Delicious, a video in the recommendations section caught my attention:
Diss is Infinite – Episode 1.
 
Since I recalled SungGyu mentioning filming a variety show by that title earlier this year, I curiously clicked on it...
 
___
 
“MinAe, we need to leave in ten minutes, are you ready?“ SeRi’s voice jolted me back into reality. Instantly my eyes shifted away from MyungSoo wearing a Peter Pan costume and to the upper right corner of my macbook. 13:34.
 
“!“ I gasped, leaping to my feet, not even bothering to stop the video. I ignored the dizzy feeling that overcame me as a consequence of getting up too quickly, and instead jerked open the doors of my closet. I frantically skimmed through my wardrobe, and thoughtlessly withdrew jeans and my favourite T-Shirt from it. Call me a nerd, but it was a T-shirt of my university, which I bought from the official merch store when I was still a freshman. As I hurriedly changed my clothes, SungGyu’s laughter sounded from my laptop, reminding me that I hadn’t stopped the stream of the show I had been watching – Diss is Infinite episode 8.
 
I had gotten hooked watching the first few minutes of the show and then completely lost track of time while I watched all episodes; I had already been watching the last segment when SeRi reminded me of the time. But who could blame me? It was just too addicting to watch the boys making fun of each other – especially knowing it was nearly exactly how they behaved for real. Admittedly, some parts were scripted but they were so obvious it made it even more fun to watch. I was even tempted to skip the concert and keep watching the show. Seeing them all dressed up and fancy in their music videos kind of intimidated me. It made it hard for me to believe that I actually knew these guys in person. But I knew skipping out on the showcase was a no-go; after all, I was to watch them perform live for the first time in my two-year-long friendship with SungGyu. I didn’t want to jeopardize it by – ironically enough – preferring to watch him in one of his shows.
 
After I roughly combed my hair, I quickly pulled it up in a messy bun – usually I would have tried to look a bit more refined for such an event but the clock on my wall was urging me to hurry: It was already 13:42.
 
Without giving it much thought I grabbed my go-to-backpack and shoved all my necessities in it – portemonnaie, cell-phone, keys, a small mirror and some make-up. Hopefully I could get it done in the subway.
 
When I quickly sat down in front of my laptop to shut it off, I couldn’t help but notice what was happening in the stream. SungGyu was on his knees, robbing in circles on what seemed to be the floor of a shopping mall. Sporting an extremely pained expression, he voiced crying baby-sounds, as per direction from s, who were laughing boisterously at their leader’s obvious embarrassment. A grin formed on my lips when I suddenly remembered how he had complained about the show having cost him a fair share of his pride – back then I had waved him off, thinking he was only exaggerating; but in hindsight he had been right. I chuckled in mischief as I saved the tab for later, finally shutting the laptop off for good.
 
“I’m ready!“ I called in the general direction of SeRi’s room, while I walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water and two apples from the counter and tucked them into the backpack. I didn’t know how long the concert would take, but a few refreshments won't hurt. Better prepared than sorry. With a quick glance out of the window, I slung the now remotely heavy backpack over my right shoulder. Luckily the weather was nice, so there was no need to wear a jacket. I smiled happily. It would’ve really if it rained during an open air concert.
 
Just then SeRi stumbled out of her room. Her hair was curled nicely in big, luscious corkscrew curls that favourably framed her face. She was wearing a pretty, pastel-coloured dress, which matched the hairpin she had sophisticatedly worked into her hairdo. Fixing a bracelet to her left wrist, she looked up at me questioningly, revealing her perfectly shaped, winged eyeliner.
 
“Do you think this is oka- what are you wearing?“
 
"Uh," I stuttered, and looked down on me, as if to remind myself of what I was wearing. Washed-out jeans and my oxblood coloured university tee. "Clothes?" I tried, suddenly feeling self conscious about my appearance. But wasn't it just a casual showcase? SungGyu would have mentioned it if there was any dress code, wouldn't he?
 
SeRi scrutinized me from top to bottom and then sighed reproachfully. 
 
"Do you want me to change?" I asked but let the tone in my voice make it obvious that I wasn't too taken by the idea.
 
SeRi shook her head. "We don't have time for that. I'll just do your hair in the subway," she then stated matter-of-factly. "Let's go."
 
We must have been a funny sight, SeRi doing my hair and I doing my make-up in the subway while SeRi was flailing about how excited she was at maybe being able to meet Infinite backstage after the show. I wasn’t too sure about that, but I remained silent, letting her work on my hairdo while I carefully applied my make-up.
 
When we arrived at the Yeoido station, half an hour early to Infinite's stage, SeRi was talking to herself about which song Infinite and the other artists would perform. Since I had never heard of any of the other artists I couldn’t really actively participate in the conversation.
 
“I hope BESTie performs Goose’s Dream, it’s so perfect for the event!“ SeRi stated excitedly, earning only a clueless shrug from me. I had never even heard of BESTie.
 
“And Teen Top should perform Angel,“ she continued, not even expecting of me to voice my opinion on the song choices. “But I don’t know about A-Pink, do you think they have any suitable song for this event? Maybe they could perform Let Us Just Love but I think it’s too old…oh, look, there’s a sign on how to get to the stage, let’s take a look!“
 
As we followed the directions on the signboard and walked to Exit 3, SeRi suddenly halted her monologue and turned her attention to me. “But tell me, who is your bias actually? I am sorry I never asked.“
 
I looked at her in confusion when she stopped talking, actually wanting an answer from me this time. I cleared my throat. “Bias?“
 
SeRi nodded eagerly. “Yes. Who do you like most in Infinite?“
 
“Uh,“ I said, thinking about the seven boys. “I don’t even know them really.“
 
“You don’t have to, just tell me the one who you think is the coolest, funniest, best-looking or maybe iest among them,“ SeRi explained. “Biases are mostly superficial, since fans don’t usually know their idols personally.“
 
“Hm,“ I mused, trying to objectively judge the boys in my head. “MyungSoo?“
 
“Come on, we can’t have the same bias, that’s boring. Plus, I want MyungSoo for myself,“ SeRi complained jokingly, and added: “Come to think of it, he isn’t really your type.“
 
I wanted to say SungGyu since I knew him best, but I felt like that was awkward since I knew him a bit too well. So I just went with the next best option. “WooHyun.“
 
SeRi nodded approvingly. “Ahhh, WooHyun is hot,“ she chuckled. "Have you seen his abs?"
 
“What?“ I blurted out without thinking. Then, trying to articulate myself, I asked again. ”How do you know his abs?“
 
SeRi laughed at my shocked expression. “They’re all over tumblr. Seriously, what have you been doing with your life?“
 
“Uh…“
 
“WooHyun was a bit chubby when they debuted but he’s really developed well,“ SeRi said matter of factly. “Oh look, I think I can see the stage!“ She pointed at a place in front of us, next to the Hangang river where a lot of people were gathered. “I’m excited already!"
 
I nodded, taking in the beautiful spring scenery. But suddenly SeRi nudged me in the side. “Maybe you are lucky and WooHyun flashes you his abs today. Although I doubt it since a lot of young kids are here too. They’re most probably told to tone it down a bit.“
 
She sighed as if the thought was making her sad. "But I’m curious, why isn’t SungGyu your bias? I don’t know why but everybody I know says once you know Infinite better - and you obviously do - it’s all about SungGyu. Among Inspirts he is said to have the most fans since he is so funny and takes such good care of s.“
 
Instantly a picture of SungGyu seating on the rooftop, leaning back into his hands popped up in my head. It was such a familiar, cozy memory it felt weird to think that he had thousands of fans who ranked him with s on bias lists and looked at pictures of him showing off his muscles. At this thought, I halted. Did he even have any muscles to show off? I never really paid attention.
 
“Is he as funny as the fans say?“ SeRi asked when I didn’t give her an answer to her previous question.
 
Was SungGyu funny? He was just SungGyu. I cleared my throat at the awkward question. “I’m not sure…“
 
SeRi crossed her arms in front of her chest, not satisfied with my answer. “Then why did you pick WooHyun?“
 
I shrugged. Actually it was most probably a subconscious choice since I was feeling sorry for WooHyun. I had spent quite some time trying to picture how it would feel if a good friend started dating my crush. As far as I knew, the whole SungYeol-WooHyun-HyeMi issue was still unresolved. I was quite stunned by WooHyun’s ability to act so cool on it and work like nothing was wrong. But I couldn’t tell SeRi for obvious reasons. So, after quick thinking, I settled for a basic answer. “I like his voice. And he seems nice. We actually talked for a bit when I was on SungGyu’s birthday."
 
“I’m so jealous you’re so close to them,“ SeRi sighed but giggled at the same time, something I had come to know as her fangirl mode being . “I mean, they are nothing like Big Bang but still, I like Infinite’s songs. They’re like...my guilty pleasure.“ 
 
“I’m sorry but unfortunately TOP hasn’t ordered at my uncle’s place yet,“ I joked, trying to imagine my reaction if that ever happened. Would be even greater if JYJ called, I thought, replacing the picture of TOP with Junsu in my head. But this would never happen, I reminded myself, shaking the idea off again.
 
"Since when do you even like Infinite? You seem like an expert," I asked, trying to change the topic away from me.
 
SeRi’s face lit up at my indirect compliment. “It's not so much about liking them. They’re all over the radio stations whenever they are promoting a new song; plus MyungSoo was in this drama I recently saw, Cunning Single Lady. He was so bubbly and sweet,“ SeRi explained, trailing off to her monologue mode again. “I followed a few blogs on tumblr about Infinite because of him, that’s why I know about WooHyun’s abs. Their fans reblog those gifs like crazy." 
 
I nodded, trying to not feel like a creep when I subconsciously pictured WooHyun topless. When I tried to make the imagination of him go away, I only ended up picturing SungGyu topless instead. What's it with me? I shook my head, getting rid of the pictures. 
 
As SeRi kept on talking about each member's various benefits, I absentmindedly nodded at the right moments, indicating I was (sort of) paying attention to her. When we reached the concert area, we realized there was some kind of barrier built around the stage, parting the open air "venue“ into a near-stage area with seats and a second, farther away area without seats. 
 
I tried to remember SungGyu mentioning this but as far as I was concerned he had told me that the venue was all free access since it was a beneficial event.
 
SeRi looked at me questioningly. “Did SungGyu tell you how to get in?“
 
“Nope, I’ll ask him, one sec,“ I said, pulling out my cellphone. I quickly texted SungGyu, telling him that we had just arrived and asking what we should do now. 
 
“I hope we can get in. I want to see MyungSoo from as close as possible to confirm his good looks in real life,“ SeRi grinned.
 
I let my eyes wander over the area as I waited for SungGyu’s answer. Most of the seats inside the area were already taken by young kids and their guardians. Even if we didn’t get into the special area, the stage was perfectly visible and judging from the size of the stereo the sound would be just fine from back here too. Many people must’ve be thinking alike, since there were many people standing around the closed off area, waiting for the concert to begin.
 
SungGyu must have been waiting for me to contact him because his answer came back almost immediately.
 
FROM: Rooftop Boy
Tell the guard you have a 
special pass code registered
on the name of JungRyul.
Nr. AA02 and AA03. 
He’ll have someone bring you 
to your seats.
Tell me once you’re in.
- SungGyu
 
I showed the message to SeRi, and nodded toward the security guard at the nearest entrance. There were a lot of fans standing in front of him, trying to talk him into letting them through, but he just waved them off, not even bothering to properly listen to them. When SeRi and I approached him, he shot us a questioning glare, and I would’ve probably backed up in respect, but SeRi pulled me forward.
 
“We have a special access code,“ SeRi said self-assuredly, looking the guard straight in the eye.
 
“Tell me,“ he said, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. 
 
When I told him, he double checked them on his signboard and then with another person on his radio. Nodding approvingly, he opened a small passageway and then let us pass through - much to the dismay of the other fans, still trying to get the guard to let them pass through without a code.
 
“Since a lot of people want to enter right now, the seat assigners are busy,“ the guard told us. “Wait here until someone comes and picks you up to show you to your seats.“
 
“Okay,“ SeRi answered on our behalf, while I texted SungGyu as per request. 
 
TO: Rooftop Boy
We’re in. Some guy is 
supposed to bring us to
our seats but the security
guy said it’ll take some 
time since it’s so busy 
right now.
- MinAe
 
FROM: Rooftop Boy
Awesome. ^^/
I can’t believe I am actually
nervous about today’s 
performance. Must be
because you are watching
for the first time. I don’t
want to disappoint you.
- SungGyu
 
TO: Rooftop Boy
Don’t be nervous, I’m
just the delivery girl that
happens to be your 
undercover advisor.
Plus my friend is going all
fangirl over MyungSoo.
- MinAe
 
FROM: Rooftop Boy
MyungSoo will be happy
to hear that! haha.
And as for you, you’re
one of the very few 
people who know me
for who I really am.
I want you to enjoy the
performance most of
all the people present 
today... 
 
I didn’t know what to answer to that, so I just started at my cell-phone for about a minute, thinking of something quick-witted to reply. Suddenly I remembered the few awkward moments SungGyu and I shared throughout the last weeks, and I felt nervous. I cleared my throat, telling myself I was just overthinking things.
 
Luckily, the seat-guy then came, and I pushed all thoughts on SungGyu’s behavior aside. We were shown to two seats in the middle section of the second row, just in front of the stage. SeRi squealed in excitement at the closeness to the stage, probably happy to get to see MyungSoo from up-close.
 
“I’ll go get some snacks,“ she said then, and went off to the stalls at the far end of the sitting row before I could even tell her I had brought two apples with me. 
 
I sat down on my seat, and pulled out the water from my backpack. Hydration was always key to surviving concerts, no matter what kind. I looked at the group of children excitedly sitting in the first row, and then searched for any kind of backstage area. When I didn’t even see any vans where the idols could’ve been waiting for their performances. I sighed. Would’ve been nice if I could spot SungGyu before the stage. When I realized what I was thinking, I blushed and shook my head. What was happening with me? I would see him soon enough, singing on the stage roughly five meters away from me. 
 
When SeRi returned with some popcorn, I told her I was going to look for the toilet. I was getting nervous after all. SungGyu’s messages had suddenly made me feel like today was something special.
 
I had barely reached the food-stalls that were completely over-run by the hungry, pre-concert masses, when a voice suddenly rang by my right ear. 
 
“Ahem.“ It made, startling me since it was too close actually. 
 
I turned around by reflex, and came to face with a tall, slender person, whose face was hidden behind a big pair of sunglasses and a face mask. He was wearing a black sweater, with the hood pulled over his head. If it wasn’t for the silver cross pendant that was dangling from a necklace in front of his chest, I wouldn’t have recognized him. 
 
"Sung-" I started to call but was stopped by his hand suddenly being pressed against my mouth. In the same swift movement he pulled me in with his free hand holding onto my lower back, bringing my face up against the soft fabric of his sweater. Instantly, the familiar scent of lavender, patchouli and SungGyu surrounded me. 
 
“Don’t say my name,“ he whispered into my ear. “I’m undercover."

xoxo JaeRin
P.S.: If you have the time, vote for Infinite for Best Dance Performance and Union Pay Artist of the Year (page 2) on MAMA Mnet Asian Music Awards: http://mama.interest.me/2014mama/vote and dont forget to give them your rose too after voting!
P.P.S.: I couldnt find a gif of SungGyu on the department store floor for the life of me so I hope you can put up with the wrong gif at the top haha.