I never got to talk to them about the divorce. I never got to tell them I was thankful for the car. I never got to tell them how sorry I was for my behaviour. Everything I wish I could have told them couldn't be fulfilled because they were dead and it was my entire fault. I let them into that car. I let that stupid truck hit me. I should have stepped on the brake but instead, out of panic, my foot wouldn't release the gas pedal. I killed them and I mourned for two years.

Jia and Sunggyu helped me move out of my house, into the city right after the funeral. I didn't want to stay in that place any longer. While I packed up my things, I opened one of the drawers. It was the one drawer I saw my parents throw my pay checks in. None of them were touched. The money I earned was not banked. It made me feel even worse.

We lived in the same apartment for two years. Jia and Sunggyu weren't able to live on residence because of me. They were helping me while I took my time. I didn't work, I didn't do anything. Those two years were the worst years of my life. I was depressed. I was in a slump and I thought I could never get out, until Jia slapped some sense into me. She slapped me so hard. She slapped me with reality.

“I’m home!” Jia announced. She had come home earlier than Sunggyu that day. She bought home chicken and beer, also. Something my parent always had when they came home from a hard day’s work. She placed the bag on the coffee table in front of me. “Eat up,” she said. “It’s fresh.”

I stared at the bag for a mere second before looking back up at the TV. I didn’t know what I was watching. I don’t think I know what even happened in those two years. It just went by so slowly, like I did nothing but stare at the ceiling. “Woohyun,” she called. “I’m telling you to eat up. You’ve lost so much weight. You’re going to pass out soon.”

“I eat,” I replied. “I eat, so don’t worry.”

“You barely eat anything. I leave you leftovers in the fridge since you never eat with Sunggyu and I. The next day, it looks like a mouse has gotten into the fridge. You’re not eating.”

“I am.”

“Can you stop it already?” she yelled. “I’m sick and tired of your attitude. At first, it was because I was sorry. I was sorry that I wasn’t there when it happened. I was sorry that you lost your parents. But now, two years have passed. You have done nothing. I am not going to sit and watch you be like this! Just face it. Your parents are dead!”

I stood up with rage. “Don’t you say it like that!”

“What?” she challenged. “Should I say it nicely? Should I say, ‘Oh, Woohyun, can be less of a bum? Your parents have already moved on, so why can’t you?’ Should I say it like that? No. I won’t sugar coat anything anymore. Your parents are dead and you need to move on!”

“Stop!”

She scoffed, “You’re telling me to stop? What exactly should I stop? Should I stop caring for you? Should I stop crying every night because of how pitiful you are? Should I stop praying for your health? Tell me what I should stop doing! Should I just jump off the roof? Should I just own misery?”

I got mad at her last statement. “Shut up, Jia! Don’t talk like that!”

By now, she was crying. “Then what should I do? You being like this breaks my heart. It’s hard to see you beat yourself on what was an accident; it was a stupid accident that is not only tearing you apart. It’s not only you, but me also.  How do you think I feel when my second parents died? How do you think I feel now that my best friend is beating himself over it? It hurts, Woohyun. I want it to stop. Please, I want it to stop. I want the old Woohyun back.”

Seeing her cry broke my heart. She had been so strong all this time. She endured it better than me. She was as close to my parents as I was to hers and if her parents died, I would have felt the same. Seeing her break down like this hurt. I couldn’t even imagine her being what I was the past two years of mourning. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. I cried with her, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I kept apologizing but she didn’t say anything. She only cried but I knew she forgave me.

I am so glad I listened to her. I got accepted into university, I met a roommate named Myungsoo who is one of my other close friends and after I graduated, I got a job as a daycare teacher. I mean, I have my ups and downs about the situations especially during their death anniversary. I'd do nothing that day. I wouldn't go to school or work, I wouldn't eat too much, and I wouldn't even talk. I always think back to the day my parents died. Sure, Jia helped me back on my feet but she never got rid of the guilt. But you know what? I'm glad she helped me because right when I chose to climb out of the stump, my parents visited me in my dreams. After two years I finally saw them in my dreams.

They didn't say anything. They simply stood there. After, we'd played around like we used to when I was young. When I got tired of it, they held hands and stared at me with a smile. Then I saw tears running down their cheeks and they turned away. I woke up crying and sweaty.

It was a weird dream. They wouldn't say a word and before I wake up, they're crying and smiling. Were they ashamed? Was that why they wouldn't say anything? Were they sorry? Were they proud of me? I don't know. All I know is Jia was the one who saved me. She was the one with that ladder, helping me climb out.

Honestly, I can say that I love her. It's no mere crush. I'm old enough to know it's not a crush. It's love. I've been through so much and she's been there to witness everything. She's been there to tell me, “it's okay.” We've been through middle school, high school, those agonizing two years and university.

Other than the two girls, I have not dated anyone else. There was only one person in my eyes and that is Jia. I love her so much. Sunggyu, who thinks it's just a mere crush, doesn't know how I feel and that's just fine with me because alongside Jia, there is him. He's been there for me, too. Whenever there is no Jia, there's Sunggyu. He's helped me as much as she and I love him, too.

That's why I was okay watching the two I love marry each other. Although I love Jia, I'm fine with her marrying Sunggyu because I know he's the best person out there. No one can match up with him and I'll be damned if there is.

My phone rang and I picked it up. "You idiot, where are you? You're late for our ceremony!" Sunggyu yelled in my ear.

"I'm almost there!" I yelled back. I didn't expect traffic at a time like this. Jia and Sunggyu have been with me through difficult times and I can't even make it to their wedding on time. I had to be both Sunggyu's best man and Jia's bride’s maid. The two wanted me to be both and how could I say no?

"Well, hurry up! Our guests are getting impatient!"

I told the taxi driver to hurry up but obviously he wasn’t going to move an inch so I paid the driver and got out. I ran to the wedding reception in my dress shoes. The shoes are not for running and they were killing me but I kept running. Finally, after 2km of running, I reached the wedding reception. I had to take a breather but I couldn’t be long or Jia will have my head. I smoothed out my hair and texted Sunggyu.

Finally, the music starts and it's my cue. I entered the hall with a basket of flowers. I started to throw the petals into the air and there is laughter in the room. I awkwardly smiled and continued down the walk. It felt like I was walking a marathon. It seemed way too long for my liking.

After what felt like forever, I finally reached the front. The groom came in and stood in front of me. Sunggyu gave me a scowl for being late and I mouthed him a “sorry.”

The music continued and this time, the bride came in. She's so beautiful. Her hair was done nicely and her wedding dress was simple. She looked absolutely beautiful. It's like she was challenging me to sweep her away during the ceremony. Oh, how I wish I could do so.

She smiled at me when she reached the front unlike Sunggyu who was a bit ungrateful to me. As the best man and bride’s maid, I read out my congratulatory speech. Jia's crying as I read my message about her. The audience is laughing when I read my message about Sunggyu. He looked like he wants to kill me but whatever. Jia was smiling.

The preach read the vows and told them to exchange the rings. Once they did so, they were told to kiss and kiss they did. It's the first time I've seen them kiss in front of me and I'm so glad they never did because I could feel my heart shatter into a million pieces.

Other than my heart, I was happy for them. No one can have any better friends than those two. I hoped they would be together forever but then again, there’s no such thing as forever.

“Jia, thank you for everything. You’ve given me so much and yet, I don’t think I gave you anything. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my crush; my love. Thank you for marrying my best friend. Thank you for the story we have together. I think it is now my turn, to create my own story.”

Finally, I am done!! The first part is finished. Yes, I did say part because this is not done yet. I started this storyline three years ago and obviously, I can't end it in ten chapters, can I? This is just a teaser of what is to come. And if you can figure it out in this story, Woohyun kind of tells what is about to happen.

So, I know the title isn't that interesting. None of my titles are but it's because they all have a special meaning. But I had really fun with this. Subcribe to get updates on the next part! See you