Out of all those words I had to swallow

Because of the excuse of reality
I’ll pick one and tell it to you for sure
Let’s meet when the lilies bloom

And say goodbye when they wither
I didn’t think I’d get over you easily but
Is it selfish of me to hope you are the same?
I’m still lying, saying that it’s all for you
You are standing in the center of my life

“What’s wrong?” Chorong Eonni opens the dorm door for me.

I sob. “I’m a fool. A fool!”

“What? What? What happened?” Eunji Eonni approaches me too.

I first enter the dorm, then tell all the Eonni about what happened. Including my foolishness, idiocy and dullness.

“So ... you left him ... like that?” concludes Namjoo Eonni, shocked.

I nod. “Yes. I’m a total fool, ain’t I?”

Thankfully I’ve got 5 good Eonni. They didn’t answer “yes” or “no”, but just hug me. Something that I really need right now.

“Okay, if you think that’s the best.” Naeun Eonni smiles.

“You can’t force to love someone that loves you that heartfelt,” states Bomi Eonni.

“Thank you, Eonni. All of you,” I say. “I’m so sorry. You worked hard putting me on make-up, and many other efforts you’ve done ...”

“Forget about it. It’s all for our lovely maknae.” Chorong Eonni pats my back.

“Thank you.” I smile. Sincerely. “Thank you for being such great sisters.”

“You’re welcome. Oh yeah, we’ve made cookies and cups of tea. Let’s party!” says Namjoo Eonni happily. No offense, she’s a tireless energizer. She rarely gets tired.

“Okay. Let’s do it,” I answer.

***

“What are BEAST members doing right now?”

“I’m sure they’re promoting in Japan right now. They’re getting lots of attention in Japan lately.”

I wasn’t not eavesdropping, I just accidentally listened to a small conversation by two teenage girls. They were wearing uniforms. I think they were just from school.

Right now, the other Apink members and I are sitting down in a café, enjoying our day-off. We’re going to have a comeback soon, so our CEO gave us a break.

“How’s your feeling now, Hayoung-ah?” Chorong Eonni hands me a big cup of café americano.

I smile. “A lot better. Thanks to all of you.”

“Are you sure you wanna drink that type of coffee? It’s really bitter. Why aren’t you pouring some sugar?” asks Bomi Eonni.

“I like this type of taste, Eonni, unlike you,” I answer.

“That’s right. Original is the best, right?” claims Namjoo Eonni who is drinking a brewed coffee.

I nod.

“Whatever.” Bomi Eonni ignorantly drinks her café latte. “Ouch. It’s still so bitter. Eunji-ya, did you already pour three packs of sugar?”

“Already.” Eunji Eonni nods. Her expressions show that she is shocked. “It’s still bitter?”

“Hey, stop eating too much sugar. You’ll gain weight,” Naeun Eonni says sarcastically.

“Okay, okay. But really, this is too bitter.” Bomi Eonni complains by herself.

At that time, the door bell rings.

I raise up my head.

And get shocked.

From the door, appears six handsome men into the store.

BEAST members!

“What? What? What?” Eunji Eonni also turns her head. “O-oh.”

“Do we need to go?” asks Chorong Eonni while packing her things.

I exhale. “No need, Eonni. There’s no use of running away. Besides, we are from the same company. We might bump into each other often.” I exhale again and continue, “Like what’s happening now.”

Dongwoon Oppa accidentally turns his head and sees me. He smiles.

“What’s his point?” Bomi Eonni asks herself.

I smile. And wave my hand.

I’m sure the other Apink members are totally confused right now.

Dongwoon Oppa also waves his hand and sits down with the other members.

“Oh. You’ve succeeded in moving on.” Namjoo Eonni nudges my elbow.

I nod. “More-less.”

Dongwoon Oppa sits on a place where he can see me, and I can see him too.

Sometimes I glare and smile at him. And he does the same thing.

Till I decided to text him something.

For: Arabian Oppa

Oppa, have you found “someone”?

Not long after that, he texts me back.

From: Arabian Oppa

It’s just been a few days, how could I find someone that fast?

For: Arabian Oppa

You’re good looking. Girls always want to be with you. It’s nonsense that you can’t seduce women in fifteen seconds.*

            *This 15 second seducing stuff is taken from the drama 별에서 온 그대 where Cheon Song Yi said to Do Min Joon, “I can make you fall in love with me for 15 seconds.”

From: Arabian Oppa

Ahaha, okay, okay, I know. But I haven’t found someone that fills my missing piece.

For: Arabian Oppa

Oh. Actually ...

From: Arabian Oppa

Actually?

I exhale.

Actually I want to be the one who fills your missing piece, Oppa.

But I am also the one who left you.

“I want to order a cup of tea,” I say, while standing up.

“Okay.” Chorong Eonni nods.

I approach the barista’s table and order a cup of english breakfast tea.

I text Dongwoon Oppa again.

For: Arabian Oppa

Actually, I want to be the one who fills your missing piece, Oppa.

            “I’ve known that.” Dongwoon Oppa whispers that sentence into my ear.

I turn my head. “How?”

“I’ve known since the start that you weren’t bored with me ...”

“I’m not bored with you!”

“I’ve known since the start that you didn’t actually stop loving me.”

I keep silent.

“Your order, Miss.” The barista gives me a cup of english breakfast tea.

“I’ll pay.” Dongwoon gives his credit card to the barista.

“Thanks.” I smile.

“No problem. Let’s seat far away from our Hyeongs and Eonnis.” Dongwoon Oppa grabs my hand and pulls me to the corner of the café.

The two of us seat together. Face-to-face.

“Sorry.” I look down to my sneakers.

“You don’t have to.” Dongwoon Oppa smiles.

“I’m the fool one. Leaving you at the restaurant like that. Sorry. I lied. I hadn’t eaten actually. I just didn’t want to cry in front of you,” I confess everything.

Dongwoon Oppa suddenly looks mad. “What? You didn’t eat? How if your stomach hurts?”

I chuckle. “Don’t worry. I had a cookie and tea party when I arrived at dorm.”

“So you had fun after breaking up with me.” Dongwoon Oppa frowns.

“Oppa! It wasn’t like that!” I cry.

“Okay, okay, I understand.” Dongwoon Oppa smiles. “Just kidding!”

“I hate you, Oppa!!!

***