(HELLO THERE THIS IS A DOUBLE UPDATE BECAUSE WE GOT A LITTLE EXCITED AND WE WANTED TO SHOVE EUNHAE CUTENESS IN YOUR FACE IDK)

^^^^ DOUBLE UPDATE~ GO READ CHAPTER 8.

The first time I properly spoke to Ahri was at a mutual friend's birthday party in early December, exactly a week after Donghae and I had argued about Christmas, and we hadn't spoken since. Of course, there had been that first day when I'd caught her speaking about me in korean, but we were both so painfully shy that we had actively avoided each other until- under the veil of alcohol and darkness- we talked and laughed and kissed. Even now I'm not sure how it became a relationship, but what I had with her was like comfort food...all sweet words and powdery kisses and a musical laugh twinkling in my ears. 

I really did try not to compare her with Donghae, but even my valiant efforts were in vain when that spicy warm scent of my childhood best friend was once again in my nostrils. Her faint smell of baby powder and flowery perfume faded to oblivion in the face of that familiar addictiveness that was Lee Donghae; even if I struggled to admit that to myself, let alone anyone else. I would also be lying to myself if I denied the fact that whatever I had with her was not at least in part motivated by loneliness, and the final realisation that I had to move on from Donghae.  My mind was at peace in New York, I'd accepted he would never return any more than brotherly affection for me...I would even dare to say that at times I was happy with Ahri, that she came close to being able to fill that gaping hole.

But that was different now that he was in front of me. I had woken up early from a troubled sleep and I was thinking over how to say all of this to him, while I stared at him aided by the early morning light streaming through the gaps in my curtain. The soft plains of his baby face were finally beginning to disappear, replaced by a strong jawline that was slack as he snored softly. He often wrinkled and wiggled his nose in his sleep as if there was a bad smell, and he hadn't lost the habit over the years. For some reason watching it gave me the same feeling I'd had when Choco had puppies and they crawled around, squeaking and blind to the world. Those adorable defenceless little balls of fluff had warmed my heart whenever I saw them.

Tentatively, I reached out one hand and used my thumb to sweep his fringe out of his eyes, smiling with amusement as the silky strands reminded me once again of the puppies. Lost in thought as I was I jumped a bit when his eyes twitched before he groaned sleepily.

"Stop watching me." Donghae croaked without opening his eyes, then one slid open a crack to peer up at me, "It's weird." 

Seeing my mouth flap unintelligently made his face light up in a grin, now fully awake. When we had disentangled our limbs we both stretched, and as he was still yawning leisurely it just slipped out of my mouth...all my careful planning of sentences, ruined.

"Donghae I have a girlfriend."

He snapped his head round at me, his shock mixed with too many other emotions to count. He was probably hurt that I hadn't told him sooner, we were best friends after all. I opened my mouth to say more, but suddenly he shoved me hard and I landed on the floor with a thud.

"What the ?!" Donghae hissed, obviously trying to keep his voice low for my family's sake.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, it was only that-"

"This isn't about that." He snapped, running a hand through his hair. I frowned, cocking my head to the side and deciding to ignore the throbbing in my ribs where I'd connected with the floor...maybe I deserved it.

"Then what is it about?" I asked, and his startled eyes fixed on me for a couple of heated moments. He opened his mouth, but as he was about to speak my door opened carefully.

"Good morning boys!" My mum said, chuckling softly, "Goodness, aren't you a little old for play fighting? I heard a thud on the ceiling and thought I'd come and check on you...Anyway, breakfast is ready!"

And just like that...it was over. We didn't talk about it again that day, or indeed the rest of that week, which I spent flitting between my home and Donghae's apartment, visiting Sungmin and Shindong, eating an amazing meal at Kyuhyun's house...I was perfectly content. But my time in Korea was moving too quickly, and before I realised what had happened it was New Years Eve, 2 days before I returned.

Jongwoon had grudgingly agreed to letting a New Years Party happen in the apartment, and I was happy to add my own additions by texting Shindong and Sungmin, then practically forcing Kyuhyun to come so I could prove I wasn't completely friendless out in New York. It was still a small thing: My friends and me, Donghae, Jongwoon, Heechul and Henry. But that was ok, I liked small parties. 

Heechul was the first to show up- Well, I didn't count since I'd slept over- and instantly swept over to Jongwoon. Seeing Heechul express affection to anybody but Donghae or his cats was a new thing for me, but I had to admit it was cute how taken they seemed with each other. 

Next to arrive was Henry, along with Sungmin and Shindong who he'd met in the elevator up and was suddenly best friends with. After high fiving or hugging us they huddled in a corner and I vaguely made out talk of s, beer and football. Typical.

Half an hour late, at about half 10, there was a knock on the door, and Kyuhyun trudged in, his eye bags somehow worse than during term time. I asked him about it and he grimaced at me.

"There was a hard campaign mission on my new strategy game...I had to beat it..."

"Hi, I'm Donghae!" Donghae stepped forward, offering a hand which Kyuhyun shook a little awkwardly before grinning.

"So you're the Donghae I've been hearing all about..." Resisting my urge to kick him I kept my smile on my face as they slowly got into a conversation about all of my bad habits. It was only when Donghae brought up the fact that I put deodorant on my feet and they started clutching at each other helpless with laughter I decided to leave and find better company.

I had two choices- and one involved third wheeling, so I was left with the lads group in the corner. As I approached Sungmin grinned with his rows of perfect teeth, throwing an arm casually round my shoulders.

"You came at the right time Hyuk," he chuckled, "we were just talking about school days, and the football teams. This guy right here was such a great striker, Henry."

Fighting back a blush at the compliment, I smiled and brushed it off, told Sungmin we wouldn't have won a single match without such an amazing goalie. This led to the inevitable comparison of scars, because it inspired Sungmin to show everybody the scar on his knee from the time he'd dived for the ball onto a piece of glass. I had no scars to speak of, but Henry had quite a few from his few disastrous weeks working as a chef. Shindong took the prize though, with a large scar running down his back from the time he'd gotten drunk and decided to jump into the sea from a small rocky cliff...not noticing the sharp rock jutting out halfway down. 

I was thankfully spared the gory details of his surgery when Jongwoon switched on the TV to show the live program from Seoul featuring the official countdown...only 6 minutes now, and then a new year. The sofa was full, so I sat cross legged next to Donghae and thought about what next year would hold. What stood out right now was how little time I would have to look at the glowing smile right in front of me as Donghae chatted to Kyuhyun, who was sitting on the sofa behind us. 

More loneliness and pain and hard work, was the degree worth this much? I'd thought it before, but never let it linger before, never actually considered it...Thankfully I was pulled from my sudden dark thoughts by shouts in the room, counting down the new year.

"10, 9, 8-"

Heechul and Jongwoon were already making out at the back of the room, hardly paying attention to the countdown at all. Maybe that was a good way to bring in a New Year.

"7, 6, 5-" 

Sungmin was busy pouring out shots for Henry and Shindong ready for the strike of midnight, their already drunken state causing them to chortle as Henry and Shindong pretended to kiss, mimicking Jongwoon and Heechul.

"4, 3-"

I looked at Donghae, and he was looking at me, and in that instant I allowed myself to imagine grabbing him, kissing him with all the passion I'd tucked away and wiping out all my regrets in one moment. A clean slate. A confession. What New Year was made for...but there was too much at stake, these were potentially friendship ruining ideas, and I was committed to a relationship now. I'd told myself to let go of Donghae, and kissing him would be undoing everything.

"2, 1-"

But still, I might just do it.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" The happy roar filled the room, snapping me from my trance, and I knew I couldn't. I got ready to smile and say happy new year and goodbye forever to my feelings, but Cho Kyuhyun's stupid, big, interfering hands decided otherwise...

And pressed on the back of our heads, our lips pressed against each other.

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Uh.......SO HI. That was fun to write heheheh, yep that's kinda the end of our fluff spree I HOPE IT WAS FLUFFY ANYWAY?? Thank you for commenting last time it was so cute ;A; and we'll try to update soon, byebye~

Jess x