When Youngjae first auditioned in JYP Entertainment, he didn’t pray that bad and hope to God that he would be put in a group that was almost debuted. He sincerely thought that he would still having a long way in a trainee life, and obviously not training in just 7 months. It all shocked him, of course, and he had to process it in a time, that in a short time, a highschooler Choi Youngjae had to debut with other 6 guys that were obviously more talented than him.

But he made it, despite the hard trainings, and the times when his self-confidence dropped really low, and at last, the harsh stare from Im Jaebum, the group’s leader. Youngjae seriously didn’t know what actually did he do wrong to Jaebum, or what the heck was his fault, but Jaebum seemed to extremely dislike Youngjae at first. He never smiled at Youngjae, and talked only one or two necessary words.

But then okay, Youngjae thought. Maybe he was just really a newbie in this world, and these kind of things were usual.

And things were becoming more hectic when the manager said that Jaebum and him had to share a room. Youngjae was obviously fine with that, just said a small yes, but then when Youngjae and Jaebum tidied up the room together, Jaebum-hyung glared at him with something in his eyes that he couldn’t interpret. Like, Youngjae didn’t even do anything bratty or something; but really, what problem did this hyung had?

After two months, the glares were less often, and Youngjae, after being intimidated often by those stares, dared to bring it up when both of them were just playing our phones in the room, lights had been turned off.

“Hyung, do you dislike me?”

Jaebum looked at Youngjae, and then shrugged coolly. He didn’t seem like he was going to answer it, but several minutes after that, he opened his mouth and spoke, “Why do you think like that?”

“Well, if you were being glared by someone every single day with something that looked like either rage or envy in that someone’s eyes, won’t you think that the someone dislikes you or something?” Youngjae accidentally raised his voice, which made one of Jaebum’s eyebrows twitched up in amusement by Youngjae’s raising voice, but Youngjae shrugged it off. He was just simply curious.

Jaebum sighed, then looked at Youngjae. Youngjae abandoned the game on my phone, and looked at Jaebum too. He glared at Youngjae that way—either envy or rage—and for the first time, Youngjae was being brave and still managed to hold the eye contact. “You mean this glare of mine?”

Youngjae just nodded.

“I used to think that you are just some hormonal brat that like to show off your talents. The type of people that wanna prove others that you’re worth in this group in a hyperbole way, because I used to be that kind of boy,” Jaebum said with such nostalgic look, “But then you’re not that type of boy. You’re actually just another awkward humble boy with amazing talents. You reminded me of Jinyoung when we first met, but Jinyoung was less awkward than you."

And it’s envy, by the way. I wondered how a highschooler like you being put in a ready-to-debut group. Like, I don't really think you can debut as a singer. But last showcase, how should I put this, you’re amazing. You’re worth to be JYP’s golden child. I seriously mean it.”

Hearing such complements blurting out from the Im Jaebum, Youngjae involuntary blushed. The words – he felt sincerity in them, and he got a piece of self-confidence from a certain Im Jaebum, that really liked to glare frighteningly at him.

(That's how the first time goes.)

A month and several weeks after their comeback promotion ended, Youngjae noticed something.. strange. [A/N: This took place before Youngjae&Haeryung scandal and GOT7 gay rumour, like two weeks before it]

Since GOT7 officially debuted, that infamous glare was officially gone and Youngjae had never received that kind of glare. But then these times – maybe it started for awhile before this but Youngjae being the awkward boy he was just realized now – he felt something strange from Jaebum’s gaze. From how Jaebum looked at Youngjae from such distances, when Youngjae was obviously not looking, while he being his whiny self.

But Youngjae couldn’t bring himself to stare at those eyes properly, but really, there was something in it.

Youngjae then went into Mark’s and Jackson’s shared room, finding a silent Mark who was listening to whatever from his earphone while reading Jinyoung’s favorite novel. Jackson had a variety show activity, he was so busy these days, so Mark was enjoying this full air conditioned room all by himself.

Then Youngjae tapped his shoulder, and Mark finally realized Youngjae was there. He paused his music and marked the page he was reading, and turned to Youngjae again.

“What’s up, Youngjae?” Mark cheekily greeted Youngjae, which he just returned with a small smile.

“So hyung, I just want to ask. Do you ever feel something if someone’s staring at you? Like you can feel what the gaze hold, or something like that?” Youngjae asked him seriously, and glanced at the novel he was reading. The second book of a famous trilogy by James Dashner.

And Mark chuckled, and it was quite.. mocking. A mocking chuckle. “What are you, a mentalist?”

“Hyung!” Youngjae whined childishly and even pouted. “I am sincerely curious and extremely serious about this! Have you ever experienced it? Like you know, you can feel if someone’s staring at you. But now, you can feel what that stare holds. But I can’t really interpret what’s the meaning of it!”

“Who’s staring at you that way? A girl?” Mark turned a little bit more serious than before, well just a little. He was still mocking inside, but this poor Youngjae was asking him for some real advice so let's be serious a little, Mark Tuan. “If she’s a girl, then she’s obviously in love with you. You know, the type of girl that likes to stare adoringly or maybe lovingly to a guy she has a crush on? Well, it’s not an intimidating feeling, right?”

In love?

“But he’s not a girl,” Youngjae muttered quietly, but Mark already put his earphones on again while he was deep in his own thoughts.

And it was starting to become creepy. Youngjae imagined some crazy things and ended up hitting his head in his way to his shared room, earning a strange look from Mark and whoever members that passed him in the apartment.

While Youngjae was in the midst of having a dating scandal with Haeryung of BESTIE, he tooked this as an opportunity to really know what was really happening between Jaebum and him. What did Jaebum really feel to him, because sometimes people just really showed their real feelings to other people when either they’re extremely worried or jealous.

(Even though Youngjae still slightly creeped out by this)

Youngjae acted like he was crying and reading netizen’s comments about the scandals which he obviously didn’t care. Youngjae actually wasn’t the type that actually cared what people said, especially when they all just talked about an untrue rumor, like his mom’s habit. Sure, sometimes his self-confidence really dropped to the lowest bottom and he searched what were netizens’ comments about him, but he quickly recovered and came back with a better him with that comments.

Then suddenly his shared room with Jaebum was unlocked in a quick motion; whoever unlocked it really doing it in the most uncalm way ever. Youngjae came to his acting again and it was right, Jaebum was really looking at him with such worried and.. a flash of hurt in his eyes which actually made Youngjae felt strangely bad inside.

But after that, Youngjae regretted this weak facade of his. Jaebum said those nice things sincerely, and cared for him deeply. And when Youngjae thought he would be greatly disgusted by Jaebum's actions and all, Youngjae wasn’t. He wasn’t disgusted by the caring actions, and those sincere sayings.

Youngjae then realized probably yes, Im Jaebum had feelings for him. And maybe too, he was really fine by it.

In fact, he thought it felt good to be truly cared by someone. 

YEaaaaaaAAAA hi all!!!! told you that the next update will be faster, right?

well actually it's because the exam weeks is reaLLY near (and i am in the last year of middle school and there's school exam & national exam & practical exam bye lIFE) and i will obviously abandon my fic. so here i am!!! hope you satisfied by this transforming homophobe youngjae into a probably fine with homos youngjae!

the next update will be about mark and jinyoung though, bc their relationship is really drifting apart slowly (JYP told them to be careful bc of that question in the press conference) but they actually miss each other and stuff:( wait for it okay!! i'll find time to update it and hope it wont be too long!

have a wonderful day!,

c<3