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There was a time, somewhere in a forgotten March, when Myungsoo started understanding what it meant to become dependent, addicted to someone  and not just something. He thought he started to understand love. However love is just to be felt. Those 4 letters had so much meaning to them, yet they conveyed almost all the feelings in one alone. Love. It was something that started in a flash, but he could never forget the person that marked him and still left him with a bitter taste after such a long time. 

Yixing. Libertine was the word to summarize his personality the best. Carefree. Fearless. Intelligent. Funny. Beautiful. Stunningly beautiful. He caught Myungsoo's eyes in a split second as he flashed a sly smile in front of him, asking him about his favourite book. It was meant to be an innocent and friendly smile, but Myungsoo could read one's expression well enough to know the person who suddenly appeared in front of him just wanted to have some fun and that smile was meant to be attractive. And oh, how attractive he looked in Myungsoo's eyes. A crazy chocolate-haired with dark enthralling eyes that once they locked with Myungsoo's it would engaged an intense exchange of gazes. 

"I will recommend you a book for your tastes. Why do you want to know my favourite book?" asked Myungsoo who was working as a librarian. He had been hired not long ago after he finished highschool. He was one of those who decided to stay in his hometown and not pursue higher education. He wanted to have a simple and relaxed life, enjoying music, books and being on his own. At least that was what people needed to know and think. No one knew who was Myungsoo and what he did in fact, what he was capable of and where he actually worked at.

His "power", as some called it, was psychometry. It is also known as psychic reading. Psychometry is a form of extra-sensory perception characterized by the ability to make relevant associations with an object that the person comes in contact with, revealing its history. It is suspected that objects may have an energy field that transfers knowledge regarding that object's history. In this case even a human could be regarded as an object. So imagine that Myungsoo, when he touched someone, he could also activate a power within him which allowed him to discover memories of the people's past. Usually the memories he could access were the ones the subjects also remembered, not long-forgotten dreams. However a great amount of concentration and energy was required for that and he often ended up hospitalized because of it. Each time he used his psychic power, either his ears or nose would bleed and his body entered a different state. He would usually lose control over his body and the aftermath was even worse. His lungs ended up ceasing and he stopped breathing some of the times. Other times, his stomach refused to listen to him and his veins would explode within seconds. There were worse times when he clenched so hard on objects that his heart would have an attack. He often confused his own memories with those of strangers. Myungsoo tried his best to help the police department, but sometimes it was beyond his own power.

How did he help the police department in fact? Usually with the missing children, sometimes with the kidnapping, other times with different criminals. Not necessarily touching them, but their belongings, clothes or anything that had come in contact with them. He wasn't pleased with having his health on the edge and those who knew of his power to treat him like a freak. He was pretty much a freak though, admitted even by himself. So that was why he chose to close himself in his bubble and dedicate himself to books and music and not bother others with his problems and stories. It was a cruel world, but having to live like that...it just made it easier for him. Even if his eyes were blurred with others' memories and his mind wondered into unfamiliar places, he knew it was real when he turned each page and when he strummed his guitar. Those were the only things he found true in his reality.

"Because I want to convince myself that someone like you fits in a place like this and not outside running like a mad man around the world." came Yixing's reply who was standing on the other side of the counter, looking deeply into Myungsoo's eyes. Myungsoo recognized the boy, he had seen him a few times, but never exchanged any words. Yixing looked interesting in Myungsoo's eyes, but he knew better than to take interest in people. He could control his power very well and not activate it randomly, but he couldn't control his memories.

"Do you think I should do that?"

"Everyone should."

"Why especially me?"

"Because I like you."

That was probably the most straightforward confession Myungsoo ever got and it just made him smile subtly as the other kept on the same firm expression, that tinge of smugness still present in it. Myungsoo never actually replied with a sentence to any of Yixing's confessions, but he knew Yixing understood his feelings perfectly. 

The Chinese boy started coming often to the library and actually spent time reading all the books that Myungsoo read as well, frequently commenting that he was too serious and thought too much. "All these stories are about life and you just sit around reading them instead of living your own story, Myungsoo!"  he usually accused him and Myungsoo would always just laugh it all away. Yixing didn't know about his power and what he could do or the reason why he wasn't living his life. Truth was, his own father forced him to work and help him at the police station. His late mother had the same power, but she died long ago, so long that Myungsoo had to carry a picture of her in his pocket to remember her appearance most of the time Each and every time Yixing would scold him like that, a poisonous knife would stab his heart because he wanted to do all those things, yet he wasn't permitted. He could easily run away, but he knew he would be found or if not, he would have to hide for the rest of his life to not be found.

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Myungsoo started preparing coffee for both of them in early April afternoons and Yixing prepared quotes to share and discuss over. Step by step, Myungsoo allowed himself to go with the flow that time, but he was still cautious about everything. He knew Yixing was a special one and he didn't want to hurt him. That month they slowly started opening up to each other and talking about other things than just books, quotes and whatever else there was related to the library.

Myungsoo found out Yixing came from a single parent family and that was another reason to bring them together, but they never really talked in depth about families. Both of them had too many scars from the past and they silently agreed to not open a subject about it. It was the best for both of them. Yixing wasn't the happiest when it came to his background. He had been abandoned by his birth parents a few weeks after coming to life. He was lucky enough to have grown in a small orphanage with a loving 'mother' as he came to call her, who offered him the opportunity of a decent childhood and the Chinese boy was so grateful he didn't have to go through the hardship of discrimination in front of other selfish and ignorant children. Until she died and for the past ten years of his life he had been travelling from family to family, being kicked out, accused of stealing, trying to escape until that year when he became legal and there was no need to have a legal guardian anymore. He played the guitar for a local band who was pretty popular and got a modest payment, just enough to cover his rent for his shared apartment.

Yixing found out that Myungsoo's passion was the guitar and almost forced him to play. They spent days playing, enjoying just the notes instead of meaningless words, exchanging understanding gazes. Exchanging unspoken feelings which were only meant to grow with time. Myungsoo started loosening and Yixing was feeling comfortable with a calm and silent person for the first time in his life.

Myungsoo was surprised to hear Yixing was a year older, always making him think he was younger, but he wasn't bothered by it.

Yixing slowly started getting used to Myungsoo's way of living.

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One evening, in the middle of May, when Myungsoo announced he was going to check everything one last time around the library, he also let Yixing know it was about time he raised his head from the younger's lap. They got comfortable with each other quite easily, becoming an additional warmth for one another, but at the same time something essential. Only their subconscious was aware of that, but it was crystal clear in their actions. They didn't bother to think about such things and just enjoyed the time they spent togeter. Opening and closing the library became something natural for Yixing, even if he wasn't an employee. He left for practices and some nights he wasn't there because of the shows, but other than that, he tried to make himself present around Myungsoo as much as possible. He had yet to discover if the boy deserved the life he had chosen for himself. Or the life which had been forced on him.

Instead of listening to Myungsoo, the older tugged on his collar as he slowly got up, looking him deep in the eyes, captivating Myungsoo thoroughly like many times before. "Kiss me" was the lost whisper which sounded like an order, but coming from Yixing it was just a desire that burned inside of him for much too long and Myungsoo fulfilled his wish, pressing his affection in the kiss as he could feel the older answering almost desperately, but so excited. It was a heated kiss which slowly became gentle and innocent as their lips refused to unlock. The dulcet taste and the lingering warmth on both of their lips only pushed the two into a series of alternating kisses between rushed and slow and a journey to discover the other's mouths. Myungsoo liked how Yixing reacted to his touches and he always thought they suited each other under the covers.