From the corner of my eye, Raye is eyeing me like a hawk. His red pen is tapping even more furiously than before against his thigh (I swear, he’s going to have a gigantic bruise).

It’s written on his face.

It’s written on the nurses’ faces.

It’s written on my face.

We all want to know whether or not I can do this--Whether or not I can save this patient lying in front of me, a no-name man with a blue tarp covering up his unmentionables. My hands are shaking and my fingers are clenched uneasily around the knife. I spot Kuronuma up in the observation deck. He’s wearing scrubs and his hair is now neatly combed. He barely knows me, and yet he’s looking at me with hope.

He believes in you. All that’s left is for you to believe in yourself. I hear the goddess’s voice in my head, whispering and encouraging me.

“How come I can hear you?” I tell it, mentally.

Because we are connected. We will always be connected since we share the same power. When you pass your powers on to someone, you will be connected to them and I will be able to pass on and be reincarnated, as It always should be.

“Besides that,” I tear away from Kuronuma and focus on the patient. “How do I do this? I need help.”

You already know what to do. Just do what you do best. Be a Buushuu priestess.

As soon as she finishes, I set to work, my hands moving on their own. Everyone is amazed, so am I, at what I can do. I mumble a word under my breath and the blood remains in the vessels even when I knick them. I set to work on them quickly, maneuvering gracefully underneath all of the organs. “Is this magic?” I hear one of the nurses say to her colleague. I ask the same question to the Goddess.

No, not magic. Rather, it’s divine right for you to use these powers. Magicians and mages are pettey imitations of what you are able to do. You are best suited for the battlefield than a hospital.

“Then why didn’t you send me to war?”

She giggles. This will be war enough.

I finish up the last stitch and close up the wound neatly. I motion to cut the string with my teeth, but spot scissors instead. I snip the end and set to take off my gloves. I trash them in the bin and change clothes. Kuronuma is waiting outside the door when I get out.

“Who knew the person wearing a kimono would actually be a pretty decent doctor?” He said. He crossed his arms across his chest and stared emptily at the ceiling. “Did the surgery trigger any memories from your past?”

“I remember my past perfectly.” I say. Kuronuma looks at me with hope, but then I cut the joy short. “I don’t remember my name or how I got in those woods. I don’t remember if I fell, or got kidnapped. I also don’t know how I got here from my… small village. All I remember is my life at the village, my medical knowledge, and my attendant.”

“Are you rich or something?”

“No,” I say. I walk with Kuronuma, exploring the hospital and searching for my room. “It’s my knowledge that made me rich.”

“So you're being a prodigy made you rich?”

“Not in money.” I say. “The village was actually quite poor, but everyone worked hard. I knew more than any normal girl, any human, should know. They treated me to my own house, plenty of food, and my attendant helped me throughout the way. I was taught many things and trained hard. It was the best the village had to offer, and it was all I could ask for.”

“Do you know how old you are?”

I think for a second. If it was seven-hundred years since I died, and I guess I was about twenty-three when that happened. “I’m seven-hundred and twenty-three years old.” I say with all seriousness. Kuronuma laughs, thinking I’m joking. “I’m not joking. GO ahead and ask me anything from seven hundred years ago. Something private like your ancestors or the cost of bread.”

He wipes a tear away from his eyes. “Okay, then,” He says. “seven hundred years ago, my grandmother’s name was Kokashi. Tell me about her.”

My mind flashes to the small girl with broken teeth and horrible tasting herbs. “Kokashi was Ayanami, my attendant’s, little sister. The last time I saw her, she was tiny. She helped her father out with sewing links of chainmail together. She usually hand herbs with her at all times.” I look off to the side, my thoughts growing sad. “So she got married… my how much I’ve missed. Who did she marry?”

“She married a monk,” Koronmoma said. I trace my memory back. I’ve known all of the monks at Shiganuma temple, but most swore to never marry or have children. While most swore to never marry and never have any children, some swore to either never getting married, or to never have children. I wonder who it was?

“Did I impress Raye with my medical skills?” I asked. “Do I get to stay?”

“Yes,” A small part of me is overjoyed. Inside, I secretly want to stay and be a part of this world longer. I  know that I will never go back to my old village, nor will I be able to reverse time, but I want to make the most of this.

I’m still worried, though about what the Goddess said earlier. This will be war enough still rings loudly in my head like an unwelcome rooster on a weekend morning. All I have is mere speculations about what she meant by that. “Is there a war going on?” I find myself asking Kuronuma, praying for answers.

“Yes, but it’s over in the Middle East.” I ask him about any wars going on here. “There’s been a bought of terrorism lately. It’s good for business, but it’s horrible because most of them don’t make it here.”

With that, I leave the question alone.