Kris turned and looked at the wooden front door to his home one last time. Biting his lip, he bent down and picked up his bag. After slamming the trunk shut he slid into the front seat and pulled out his phone. Scrolling through his contacts he found the name he had been searching for: My Husband Tao

Smiling to himself, Kris remembered the day that Tao had forced him to change his contact name. Originally he thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing, but now he cherished it. “My Husband” had a warm ring to it.

“My husband.” He whispered to himself.

Tapping on the contact with his finger he clicked ‘text’ and began to type.

Tao. I’m sorry that I wasn’t stronger. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. Please forgive me. Know that I will always love you. No matter what happens my heart and soul belong to you. I love you.

Kris

The screen shone against the grey interior of the car and soon it was covered in a small puddle of tears. Kris let one more fall before he deleted the message and threw his phone on the seat; No one would see the text anyways.

Pulling out of the driveway he sped down the road and pulled onto the highway. He looked at the speedometer and saw it settling on 60.

’60 minutes until I see Tao.’

‘Just 60 minutes.’

’60 minutes before I’m no longer Kris.’

Flashback

“I Tao, promise to love, to hold, to cherish, you Kris, for as long as I live.”

Kris took Tao’s hand in his and brought his knuckles to his lips. Gently pushing his mouth against each knuckle he closed his eyes, “I Kris, promise to love, to hold, to cherish, you Tao, for as long as I live and longer. You will always have my heart and my soul even when we’re both dead, I will still be yours.”

Looking up, he saw tears running down Tao’s cheeks. He brushed them away with his thumb before leaning in and kissing Tao.

They had been married on a warm summer day with plenty of sunshine and a cool breeze. Kris had never been happier as he called Tao his husband at the end of the day. Nothing could have been more perfect. They walked along a beach holding hands and made love under a golden sunset.

“Kris.” Tao had breathed.

“Yes love?”

“Promise me that we’ll be together forever. I know we said until death do us part, but I want to be together much longer than that.”

Kris turned his head and stared into Tao’s eyes, “I promise that we will be together forever.”

“I love you Kris.”

“I love you too Tao.”

End Flashback

Kris wiped away a tear that had managed to fall down his cheek.

“Dammit! Tao! Why did you have to make me love you so much?!”

His foot pressed harder on the gas pedal as he raced to his husband, to Tao.

After a ½ hour he realized that he needed to get gas. He pulled over at a gas station and began to fill his tank. As he was waiting for the tank to fill he leaned against his car and stared at the store.

Flashback

“I told you that we were going to run out of gas!” Tao said with a pout as he sat covered in sweat outside of the gas station store.

Their car had run out of gas a little under a mile from a gas station in the middle of nowhere. With no one to help them get to a gas station, the two were forced to push their car the rest of the way.

Kris pressed a cold drink against Tao’s cheek before sitting down. He wiped away the sweat on his face before taking a long drink of water.

“I thought we were going to make it! Maybe it wouldn’t have taken to much gas to move if we didn’t need to carry all your crap around!”

Tao pouted, “It’s not crap. Everything I bring is 100% necessary.”

“So 14 outfits for a week long trip are ‘necessary’?”

 “Yes.”

“Then how come I can survive with only 7 outfits?”

“Because you have no fashion sense so it doesn’t matter what you wear.”

“My fashion isn’t that bad. Besides, I have other skills besides putting outfits together. If it weren’t for my skills involving cars we would be stranded at the side of the road.”

“It’s because of your skills, or lack of, that we’re now covered in sweat in the middle of nowhere!”

“Whatever, the point is that I have useful skills. Putting together outfits will get you nowhere. Find something that useful why don’t you.”

Tao clenched his mouth shut and stood up. “I’m going to get something to eat. Call me when the car’s ready.”

Kris watched as Tao disappeared inside the store. ‘He seemed mad. Did I do something?’

End Flashback

Putting the pump back into its spot he shook his head. That had been their first fight. It was over something so stupid. He had been so stupid. What was he thinking fighting with Tao over something so petty? It had been his fault. He saw the gas light come on, but thought he would make it.

Starting the car he continued his journey.

’30 minutes.’ He thought as he looked at the time.

Another 10 minutes passed on the road. Soon traffic slowed as he entered the city. Eventually it came to a stop. Kris honked his horn as traffic inched forward at a snail like pace.

Realizing that traffic was going nowhere, Kris put the car in park. Looking out the window his eyes widened when he saw an old white car amongst many shiny new ones.

It was the same car that they had had before Kris got his new one.

Flashback

“Tao. It’s Kris. I’m sorry that I was such a jerk earlier. I was just cranky and tired and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Tao continued to face away from Kris.

“Will you please look at me?”

Kris sat down next to Tao and gently grabbed his chin. Turning Tao’s face towards him he gave him an apologetic smile.

“You were really mean.” Tao whispered.

“I know I know and I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me? I don’t like fighting with you. Please don’t be mad at me.”

“Ok. I forgive you.” Tao said reluctantly. “I don’t like fighting either.”

Kris leaned in and pressed his lips against Tao’s. He wrapped one hand around Tao’s neck and the other around his waist. Nibbling on Tao’s lip, he smiled when Tao moaned in please.

They made love that night in the garage of the car repair shop. The windows of their white car were fogged and covered in handprints by the time the repair man returned in the morning.

End Flashback

Traffic began to move again and Kris gassed it as soon as he could. He sped through the town ignoring the honks of passing cars.

’10 minutes’

The town was now in the distance and he was out on simple roads. Green grass rolled for miles and fresh air replaced polluted.

Flashback

“Hey Kris?”

“Yeah Tao?”

“I want a house.”

“I know you do and I’m working on it, but I haven’t saved enough money yet. I’m sorry.”

Tao and Kris were on a picnic. Tao loved the clean air of the country. He had lived in China for most of his life and he had come to loath polluted city air.

“That’s not my point. My point is that I want to live in the country. I want our kids to breathe healthy air and not to be stuck in a city with pollution and car and robbers and just lots of bad things.”

Kris’s eyes widened, “Kids?! Tao, we don’t even have a house. Are you already thinking about kids?”

“Not yet. But, eventually.” Tao said with a laugh. “I just want to live in the country. I feel happy here. Don’t you?”

“I feel happy whenever I’m with Tao.”

Tao gagged, “You’re so cheesy. Why did I marry you?”

“Because you love me. Because I’m handsome and smart and tall and athletic and cool.”

“Good thing you don’t have a big head.” Tao said with a scoff. He picked at an apple and stared over the open fields. Kris watched him with warm eyes.

“Tao, you can have whatever you want. I’ll get you a country house with lots of room to run and plenty of clean air.”

“Do you promise?” Tao asked with a bright smile.

“I promise.”

The two locked pinkies.

End Flashback

Kris stayed true to his promise and after a few years he bought Tao his country house.

They filled it with framed photos of their adventures together and Kris was proud to call it his home. However, he just left home behind and was now speeding in the opposite direction.

Finally his GPS told him he had arrived.

He parked his car and stepped out into the grey air. He stepped through the grass which was wet with condensation and made his way up a small hill amongst many. After a few seconds he stopped. Kneeling down he put his hand on top of a gravestone.

Wu Zitao

1993-2023

“I can’t believe it’s been 12 years since we met and almost a week since you left me. It feels like we’ve been together for an entire lifetime.”

Kris closed his eyes as he remembered the accident.

Flashback

Kris awoke to a call late at night. Tao was away on business and wasn’t returning until the next day.

“mm Hello?” Kris answered in a husky voice.

“Hello. This is Mi Yung at Donghu Hospital. This was the first number on the victims contact list.”

Kris was now wide awake.

“Wait victim?”

“Yes. I’m calling to inform you that at 1:46 am he passed away. Mr. Wu was in a car accident. A car ran a red light and hit the side of his taxi. He was brought here at 1:32 and doctors did everything to save him, however he passed away due to extensive injuries. Would you like to come see him?”

Kris didn’t know what to say. Tao was dead. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. He just sat in silence.

“Hello? Mr. Wu?”

“Ah yes. Sorry. No. Thank you. I understand what you’re saying, but I will not be going to see him. Thank you for your time tonight. Goodbye.”

Kris hung up the phone and sat in silence. Minutes passed, the hours. Morning came, but Kris still didn’t move.

Finally after a day, he began to laugh. It started as a chuckle, and then progressed into a fit of insane laughter before settling into tortured sobs.

“Tao! Tao! How could you do this to me?! You weren’t supposed to die before me! Tao! Oh God! Why?! You idiot! Why were you coming home early? To see me?! Idiot!”

Kris cried himself to sleep the first day. Then went into a fit of rage the next day and ran through the house smashing every photo of them. Finally, he drank himself until he was found the next day by friends and put into the hospital. He spent only a few days there before he was deemed sane enough to leave.

End Flashback

“Damn Tao. Only you would be able to send the Kris Wu into a fit like that. I miss you babe. Everyday I look at the ring on my finger and miss you. Why did you leave me? Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry. I would do anything to get you back.”

Kris picked up the urn that contained the ashes of his love. Tao had always said that he thought burial was gross.

What’s so special about a corpse rotting in the ground? I would rather be cremated.

Kris smiled as he heard Tao’s voice in his head. He clutched the pot and turned down the hill back to his car.

Gingerly, he set the pot in his passenger seat.

“Are you ready to go Tao?”

Kris saw Tao materialize in the seat next to him and watched with wet eyes as he took his hand.

“I’m ready Kris. Let’s go home.”

Kris started the car and drove with one hand as he refused to let go of Tao’s.

They reentered the city which was now dark due to the fall of night. However it still sparkled with the lights of buildings.

“I’ve always hated the city.” Tao muttered next to Kris.

Kris squeezed his hand, “I know babe. That’s why we bought a house in the country. So you could be happy.”

“You make me happy Kris.”

Kris came to an intersection which was decorated in flowers.

“Kris, why are there flowers here? Was there an accident?”

Putting the car in park he turned to Tao and took both hands in his.

“Yes Tao. There was an accident, your accident. You died a week ago and left me alone.”

Tao didn’t respond at first and just stared before smiling softly, “I see. I’m sorry Kris. I didn’t mean to leave before we reached out forever.” A tear slid down his cheek.

Kris reached up and caught it with his thumb as he saw headlights in the distance.

“Don’t worry love. We can still have our forever. I promised you forever and I intend to keep that promise. Besides, today I'm going to correct God's mistake.”

Tao looked confused. He was about to protest but Kris pressed a finger against his lips.

“Shh, just kiss me.”

Smiling, Tao leaned in and pressed his lips against Kris’s.

In the background a car horn sounded.

“I love you Tao.” Kris whispered as he touched his forehead against Tao’s.

“I love you too Kris.”

“Forever?” Kris asked.

“Forever.” Tao whispered as the car headlights swallowed them.

‘0 minutes’