Perfume
Transitory PasscodesBaekhyun never knew how he ended up filling every nook and cranny of his apartment with Jongin’s tidbits. Although his apartment wasn’t Jongin’s in any way, there would always be something that would remind him of Jongin in every corner. He would randomly pick up Jongin’s mug, use Jongin’s spoon, go out in Jongin’s gloves, and warm his cheeks under Jongin’s scarf. Jongin would eat lunch with him or take him out to dinner, possibly spend a night or two together on the weekends. They became themselves, as free as college kids and as honest as babies. Jongin liked tracing Baekhyun’s ribs halfway the length as Baekhyun curled into him, stitching wings onto Baekhyun’s back. Baekhyun never fought the idea of being an angel in Jongin’s arms.
Baekhyun loved staring back at Jongin. If the eyes were the windows to the soul, then Jongin's eyes were bigger than the doors. His eyes were the glass walls, the pressure-proof aquarium vessels, transporting endless threads of 'I love you' in the wake of his gaze.
“I wouldn’t be around the next few days,” Jongin said all of a sudden when he broke a kiss—Baekhyun’s kind of a kiss—hair matted and hands pinning Baekhyun down by the shoulders. Baekhyun opened his eyes. What Jongin meant was he wouldn’t be around starting next Monday, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“Okay. If you have to.”
His eyes wavered as he expected Baekhyun to hold him off, but that was an easy goodbye. Too easy a goodbye.
“Okay,” Jongin said, resuming their makeout gently until Baekhyun reminded him where they were. Jongin wanted to vanish from Baekhyun’s life, like water clearing down the drain, because he did not find how being so far apart would work out. He would rather Baekhyun not remember him at all. Jongin had put all his thought before kissing Baekhyun’s cheek, then his jugular vein, then the back of his neck, and Baekhyun squirmed with unease. It was Jongin’s turn to stop and give reassurance to Baekhyun‘s questioning eyes, before dipping his head to kiss Baekhyun’s collarbones, coaxing his way to somewhat consummating their nonexistent relationship.
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What Baekhyun never knew after he fell asleep was Jongin reaching over to take his phone, silently delete everything threaded under Kim Jongin’s name. Jongin really had to admit that Baekhyun made him the happiest he’d been in a long time, but too much happiness always took a toll on him, which was why he was so careful on smiling and laughing earnestly around other people. Jongin looked at Baekhyun. It was a secret between Jongin and himself. Maybe peeling himself away before it was too late would be the best for both of them.
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Baekhyun went to work without any presumptions the following Monday and didn’t ask Jongin out for lunch or coffee because he himself had his share of busy days. He understood how they went. Baekhyun and Jongin remained out of touch for so long that Baekhyun still did not know Jongin’s name had been missing from his phone for three days now.
Being both one of the youngest recruits and the person who always got back from lunch the earliest, Baekhyun was immediately asked by a coworker to send out a pile of mail downstairs as soon as he reached his cubicle. He looked at the names and addresses and asked, “What are these?”
“The official reports on the joint project. They wanted a crosscheck from our behalf.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “Do you want me to take these there? I know they’re only a few blocks away.”
His coworker laughed. “You’re not going to deliver all of them if that’s the case. Half of them came from Busan just for the meeting, you know, including your friend.” Friend who?Baekhyun’s heart dropped and he hoped his coworker didn’t notice the change in his face. “Just drop all the envelopes downstairs and come back. I’m not asking you to take it to them.”
“Okay,” Baekhyun said, and patted the envelopes together in his hands. He left for the elevator and went through the addresses on the envelope to find that his coworker was right. The envelope addressed to Kim Jongin was to be sent to Busan. He scrunched in confusion and immediately whipped out his phone in the elevator on the way down, wanting to ask Jongin about it.
Jongin’s number never popped up in the recipient bar, no matter how much Baekhyun tried typing his name over and over again. He went out of the elevator and stopped by a potted palm tree to find something, anything in his phone’s memory that could connect him to Jongin, but he could not. In a desperate attempt, Baekhyun finally took a picture of the address before dumping the mail into the corporate drop box.
On his trip back upstairs, he wondered if Jongin actually meant that he wouldn’t be around for good instead of for only the next few days. He looked at the freshly taken picture again and jotted the address and phone number down on a piece of paper as soon as he got back to his cubicle.
He suddenly remembered that his work email might still have Jongin’s work email. He found that he did not have Jongin as his contact anymore, but mass emails that were sent during the project still had Jongin’s name on the recipient list. Baekhyun sighed in extreme relief. He clicked Jongin’s name on the recipient list and started a new email.
Mr. Kim Jongin,
You , you think you could just run away like that. Your work mail is still in the project email recipients, so much for deleting everything in my phone. I’ll get to you.
Byun Baekhyun
Corporate Risk Analyst
Hamiro Seoul, Ltd.
02-6240-9800
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It was a shame that Baekhyun couldn’t get his hands on anything else but work throughout the whole week, so he was glad that he finally got to book a train ticket to Busan for Monday. He never got a reply from Jongin, due to whatever reason it might be. He excused himself for being sick and left his apartment at five in the morning with nothing on his back. He wore as many Jongin stuff as he could, his breath puffing warm underneath Jongin’s scarf and hands clammy ever so clammy in Jongin’s gloves.
He took the snail train and arrived at almost noon, having only so much time to figure out where Jongin’s office could be. He looked around and tried to decide where to go first, going about before finally finding the subway platform. He took the subway downtown, but immediately learned that his real adventure started once he got off. Baekhyun was glad that Busan wasn’t bustling with people the way Seoul was, but it was still a new place he wasn’t familiar with.
Baekhyun managed to land himself in the right area, but there was no obvious signs that showed Jongin’s company anywhere around. He knew that he was close, yet it took him so long to find Jongin’s office when he was already on the right block. The GPS reached its proximity limit when Baekhyun tried zooming further in.
When Baekhyun finally managed to find the right office after walking around in the cold for longer than he had expected, he registered himself as a civil visitor, although he had to ask around in his starkly northern accent to finally know on what floor Jongin was supposed to be.
He took the elevator to the thirteenth floor and asked the floor receptionist for Mr. Kim Jongin. Her table was situated between two aisles with wooden walls and a pattern carpeted floor. The floor receptionist smiled, dialed Jongin, and told him that Mr. Byun from Hamiro Seoul, Ltd. wanted to see him.
The floor receptionist hung up and told Baekhyun to wait shortly, and the next minute, Jongin was running trying to wear his suit hopping on his feet, rushing out the east wing hallway with a big, big smile. Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he should be pissed or equally happy, but upon seeing Jongin, he popped himself a smile before he knew it.
“Baekhyun! How did you,” he dragged Baekhyun to the other end of the floor by the wrist, still aware of the receptionist’s prying eyes. It was always a thing to Baekhyun that Jongin could never contain his happiness. “Oh my god hi,” he said, so very lamely with a big happy smile plastered on his face. “How did you even get here?”
Baekhyun couldn’t decide a proper response. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You know what. Actually, now that I think of it, I don’t know why myself. To save us from drama?”
“You’re making the drama.” Baekhyun said. They weren’t sure if they were bickering or just so amused over each other’s presence.
“Let’s just grab lunch, it’s ten to twelve anyways,” Jongin said, dragging Baekhyun to the elevator and excusing himself to run and grab his coat from his table. He went back just in time to see the elevator open.
The elevator dinged open and luckily—or surprisingly—there weren’t as many people inside. They held from speaking in the elevator, letting more and more people squish in until the car was full by the time they got to the lobby.
“You got a subway card handy?” Jongin asked as they walked outside. He took Baekhyun in a headlock hug, still walking on their feet.
“You’ll make us slip, silly,” Baekhyun protested, muffled by Jongin’s puffy jacket. They boarded the subway and Baekhyun learned that Jongin was taking him to Shinsegae for lunch.
“Ooo, cool. I’ve never been here before.” Baekhyun mused.
“You can literally get lost here.” Jongin said as a matter of fact. “Have you been to Busan before?”
“Not alone. Not after this mall was built. I remember going to the beach with my parents the last time.”
“And when was that?” Jongin asked. They stepped on the escalator heading down.
“I think it was high school? Junior high school?” Baekhyun answered, and was pretty amused at the scale and buzz of the place when he looked away from Jongin.
The food court was all about being chic and classy and all, and it was lunchtime busy, but at least they managed to grab a quick bowl of udon and sushi at the Japanese food corner and take an empty seat nearby.
“I was so mad at you when I couldn’t find your number. What do you think you were doing!” Baekhyun said through gritted teeth. Jongin only laughed sheepishly.
“So you’re from here.” Baekhyun confirmed, picking the first roll to bite.
“Uh,” Jongin poked at the thick noodles. “I’m from Seoul. But I studied and work here.”
“Oh, alright. Makes sense. I,” Baekhyun laughed at himself, and Jongin waited for why. “I did think you were from Seoul.” Jongin laughed.
They ate for a while, just being the two hungry boys they were at the moment until Baekhyun asked, “Then why did you remove all your contact details from my phone? Is it so that I wouldn’t go around asking you where you were?”
“Maybe..? I don’t know…” Jongin answered. “I…” he put his chopsticks down. “I didn’t want to jinx it,” Jongin said. Baekhyun put down his hand, although still holding his chopsticks, waiting for why.
“Well.” Baekhyun couldn’t have any say about it, because he did believe that those kinds of things happen, too. He would say sorry, but.
“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun eventually said.
“Don’t mind it. I’m sorry,” Jongin responded, smiling.
“Then get everything back on my phone right now,” Baekhyun commanded, faux snob, sliding his phone to Jongin on the table.
Jongin took the phone with a light smile and easily unlocked it, but his attention diverted when he was about to input his information. “You know what, I’ll,” Jongin looked at the time. “Are you heading back today?”
“Yes, tonight at…” Baekhyun tried to remind himself, “nine.”
“Perfect. You stay here, I’ll get back to the office, then I’ll try to call in sick for the rest of the day. I’ll hopefully be back here by two.”
Baekhyun laughed and nearly choked on his salmon roll. “Are you nuts.”
“I mean it. I can buy us a few hours of precious time.” Jongin resumed slurping his noodles and writing his number on Baekhyun’s phone.
Jongin finished his bowl faster and left not long after because he really had to run back, and Baekhyun was left there in a gigantic shopping block all by himself. He turned around and took the escalator up as soon as Jongin left, wandering about, level by level and store by store.
No one in the office knew that Jongin had a visitor earlier. They only knew that Jongin had left early for lunch, and maybe for a bad reason. When Jongin got back to his office to set up his plan, he pretty much had the rough idea how and how long he would need to execute it.
Jongin bowed to his floor receptionist and stood there at the enclosed east wing alley before going into the working space, trying to compose his sickness. He had all the upper hand: he’d always been good at faking sick, but he was trustworthy enough that no one would ever accuse him of doing it. He could’ve done it from the beginning of the day had he known that Baekhyun would be in town, but this one hour was all he had.
Jongin managed to wriggle his way out of the office, clad in coat and all. He bowed again to the floor receptionist as he was about to leave, and to his surprise, she said, “Have fun.” Jongin’s eyes widened in pretend shock, and both of them laughed in secret. They made such good friends throughout the years that they were so used to throwing those kind of jokes with each other.
Jongin walked as quickly as possible to fulfill his promise, trying his best to not smile on the slippery sidewalk or in the subway on his way back to the shopping mall. He hopped off the train, went inside, and looked around. Jongin headed straight downstairs just like he did slightly over two hours ago to search carefully where Baekhyun could be, but Baekhyun was not around the food court as he was supposed to. After scanning the whole level, he took out his phone and asked Baekhyun where he was.
Byun Baekhyun
I’m at Adidas k k k k k k k k k k I mean look at a l l t h e s e s h o e s s s 14:12
14:12 Really though.
Kim Jongin
14:12 Can I see you at the food court
Kim Jongin
14:12 Like right now?
Byun Baekhyun
After this pretty please with powerpuff girls on top? 14:13
14:13 Get down right now.
Byun Baekhyun
GET DOWN! Nanananananananana 14:13
Jongin gave up and put his phone away, trying to divert his attention by going to a nearby perfume shop. He held his coat folded over one arm, entertaining himself by looking at the exquisitely shaped tiny bottles. The shop attendant acknowledged him and started explaining everything he was seeing, seeming a little bit too happy to serve and shove samples to such a young fine businessman.
It was starting to get too long before Jongin’s phone finally buzzed and he could finally excuse himself.
Byun Baekhyun
I’m by the escalator~ 14:33
Jongin hissed a yesssss before saying, “Sorry,” to the shop attendant and finally leaving the perfume shop, although he made note to come again some other time.
Jongin spotted Baekhyun by the escalator as Baekhyun had promised, and he waved slightly so Baekhyun would notice.
“They got super awesome stuff upstairs, you should check them out. It was actually awesome that I could find my way back this fast,” Baekhyun automatically chirped as soon as he had Jongin listening by his side. “Do you like shoes?”
They stepped on the escalator leading upstairs. “They’re my thing. Along with caps,” Jongin said, “if I didn’t have to wear something this sleek and tacky to work.”
They walked around following wherever the other was walking, chatting about each other but not being the self-interested dimwit they could have been in high school.
Jongin led the both of them outside after a little bit more of walking around under the warmth of the indoors. They stopped by for some hoddeok by the station and finally headed to the subway to go to Jongin’s place.
Jongin lived a bit of far walk at the east end of the green line. His apartment was simpler and neater; an all-white studio that definitely needed the kind of carefulness Jongin carried. “We’re back,” they said to practically no one, toeing their shoes off as soon as they closed the front door.
“Wow, an officetel? Is your bed upstairs?” Baekhyun asked out of pure amusement as soon as he saw no doors but a small staircase.
“Yup. Don’t you love this? You can see the beach,” Jongin took him to the window, gladly seeing his guest amused, then to the staircase leading to his bed. “Tada.”
“Oh.” Baekhyun deflated. “It’s… a little bit cramped and it’s hanging by the ceiling and—”
“It’s sturdy,” Jongin hurriedly defended. “If that’s what you want to know about.”
“Oh.“ Baekhyun croaked. He coughed. “Okay.”
“We have until eight before you have to go to the station. What do you want to do?”
“I just want to, I don’t know. Do nothing with you.” Baekhyun looked at the TV mount, then at Jongin.
“Or do you want to watch a movie?” Jongin suggested.
Baekhyun shook his head. “That’s going to take away all the time. Can you just show me your room then? I mean nest. Or den. Or, yeah.”
“Then we eat dinner and leave?”
“Sure,” Baekhyun approved.
“Alright, come on.” Jongin took his hand and made Baekhyun squat, or civilly sit down, before he could bump his head. Jongin’s bed wasn’t tall, but it was huge and pretty. The sheets and comforter were light brown, still complimenting the white-and-wood color theme. Baekhyun looked around in his newly heightened point of view and decided that he actually liked it. He could see the living room, a lot more of the sea, but not the kitchen underneath him or the front door. It gave no room for secretive crevices.
“Do you like it?” Jongin asked.
“Yeah,” Baekhyun nodded, still looking around. He bounced in his seat on the bed. He looked at the short little bedside table, where there was a silver cat sitting nicely with a smile. He remembered seeing it on Chanyeol’s bedside table the last time.
“Is that yours?” Baekhyun turned his head and asked Jongin.
“Yeah. I got it for uh, my last birthday.” Jongin said. “Why?”
“I saw it at my friend’s house, too. Just like this.” Baekhyun partially answered. He didn’t want to say that he saw it exactly on his ex’s bedside table like it was on Jongin’s bedside table. Jongin crawled closer to the bedside table and sat on the floor. He took the cat and gave it a good look before giving it to Baekhyun. Baekhyun took a look at the silver cat himself and gave it back to Jongin. They ran out of stuff to talk about.
“When are we going to see each other again?” Jongin asked, moving from his place to sit beside Baekhyun on the bed. It wasn’t difficult to drag Baekhyun onto his lap and into his arms. Jongin started running his fingers on Baekhyun’s skin, started drawing his wing stitches on Baekhyun’s back.
“When you come over, of course,” Baekhyun said, voice softening into a whisper. “When willthat be?”
“When fate makes me?” Jongin joked, and Baekhyun playfully hit him. Jongin made him look at him, and kissed him until the sky was bruising with sundown.
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