The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love, love someone else.

Because they are perfect and they will forever be perfect. They deserve each other and they are meant for each other. Everyone can see it and everyone are rooting for them. The love in their eyes proves that nothing and no one can stop them.

Not even me.

Sungmin hyung knows about how I feel towards my best friend. This hyung have been one of my closest hyungs in Super Junior and I tell him everything. My secrets and my fears, all of it, he knows all of it. Sungmin hyung was the first person who knew about my little crush towards my best friends. Sungmin hyung was excited for me and wanted to help us to get together but along the way…. Everything turned upside down. Kyuhyun fell in love with Sungmin hyung instead of me and… Sungmin hyung eventually fell for him too.

When Sungmin hyung came to me, one day, I was expecting to hear some good news. He had promised to ask Kyuhyun his feelings towards me but… My heart broke in a million pieces when Sungmin hyung apologized to me and told me that… Told me that Kyuhyun had kissed him and that they agreed to get together. Of course, I felt betrayed. Sungmin hyung was supposed to help me get together with Kyuhyun and look at what was happening.

I couldn’t just stop talking to my hyung and my best friend. It would look weird especially because we were all in the same group and even live together. Sungmin hyung was so guilty that he stopped talking to me and even stopped dejaying with me. He made up excuses about having to do musicals in Japan but the truth was, his guilt was just eating him alive.

I didn’t want this. Yes, I was hurt but at the same time, I didn’t want my hyung to live in guilt for the rest of his life. If someone was in love, they should be able to tell the world and be happy about it. Sungmin hyung didn’t look happy when he’s around me and he certainly didn’t dare go near Kyuhyun when I am in sight. I felt bad and decided that enough was enough. I had a talk with Sungmin hyung and promised him that I was already over Kyuhyun and that I had no feelings for him at all.

It took a while for Sungmin hyung to believe me but he finally did and he stopped being so shy. Kyuhyun and Sungmin hyung finally opened up to the members about their relationship and all of us celebrated with wine and good food that night. Well… Everyone except for me.

It’s hard to explain but I still do love Kyuhyun. My heart flutters when he walks into the room and my eyes can only find him in a room full of people. I don’t know why the world is so cruel to me but whatever it is, I’ve decided that this is my life and I am going to live like this forever. I will love Kyuhyun forever and never get any returned love.

“Ryeowook ah,”

I snap out of my thoughts at a familiar voice that got my heart beating twice as fast. I wave my best friend into my room and he chuckles, closing the door behind us. He plops down next to me on the bed and I close my eyes overwhelmed by the closeness and his amazing scent around me. It’s funny. So funny how I’m so but he only thinks of this as something normal best friends usually do.

“I need your help.” Kyuhyun whines.

“What is it?”

“KyuMin day is just around the corner.” Kyuhyun sighs out loud. “I don’t know what to do for Minnie hyung.”

My heart aches. “O.. Oh. Well…. What do you want to do?”

“Hmmm… I don’t