She was a quiet girl, usually walked behind the girls and smile softly towards me. Pure and pretty, these two words fit her perfectly. And I, with the reputation of being cold and scary in front of girls was easily broken by her simple touch. 

------

"Excuse me?" Her small voice, yet attractive, caught my attention even when the surroundings were noisy as hell. I turned to see her holding a bandana which probably fell off my pocket. "I think you've dropped this" she said, pulling her hand up, and reaching it into my hand. 

"Oh, yea. Thank you" I responded and was about to grab it when our hands met, and hers briskly touching mine, before she pulled it back and smiled, just like usual, gentle and sweet. But what's more, I couldn't forget the softness and warmth of her hand, even though it was less than a second that we were in contact. 

"Good luck on your stage, Kai shi" she said, as she looked right into my eyes, a not so usual movement by a girl I had just met. Normally they would be afraid of my charisma and aura, that they wouldn't look at me, but the floor or the wall ahead of me. 

She was about to leave for her waiting room, but before she can do so, I grabbed her wrist, making her flinch from surprise. 

"Jongin" I stated. Looking at her soft features, that somehow mesmerized me. 

"Huh?" She said, staring at me in confuse, her eyebrows carefully knitted and her eyes wandering around my face, as well. 

"My name, real name" I answered "Kim Jongin, not Kai. Call me Jongin oppa" I said, trying to give her a kind smile, not the smirk or the y smile, but a sincere one. 

She looked startled for a while, but soon she smiled back. 
"Okay, Jongin oppa. Good luck on your stage" she restated and this time I let her go, responding to her by saying, "thanks, Naeun ah" 

-----

That was the start of my secret love life. We never talked that much after the incident, but whenever we see each other, we stare for a while, before smiling and looking away, not to get caught. 

Nobody knew about my feelings, but only me. I kept it hidden, even among my members and my best friend, Taemin. I knew I shouldn't tell him, because he had a crush on her as well. Don't know of he still does, but that's how I kind of got to know her. 

Naeun would be standing behind the crowd, usually and me at the front. She wasn't pushy like the other female idols, that's what I like about her. She wouldn't try to be friend me, even when she had the chance to, could of times, but in stead stay quiet. 

I like quiet. It's comfortable to be with someone who's quiet, especially when you're an idol. It's the only thing you need after a long tough day of work and sassaengs. 

Every now and then, I wander if she has any special guys. I check on her when we are close. Try to find any clues of one, but she seems so pure that the idea was erased quickly. 

I don't know how long it had been since I had developed this feeling towards her. We became 'close' even though we aren't friends. The relationship had stayed just like it had been since it started. We would exchange smiles, but we never continued anything after that. 

Until today. 

We were coupled up to do a dance together for a special stage. I had no problem about it, I had to be professional, but when I saw her coming into the practice room, I regretted taking this offer. 

She was flawless. 

Her hair curled at the bottom, wearing a simple outfit, white tank top with black shorts. I couldn't get my eyes off her, it was like watching a video. 

"I hope I'm not late" she said, as she put her bag down and looked at her watch 
"No, not at all. More like the choreographer's late, but you're on time" I said, trying to think of something else to stop my heart from beating crazy

"I guess so..." She nodded, sitting down, close enough from me that I could smell her perfume. 

My heart started beating tremendously, and my eyes just stared at her face for a while, before she looked back at me and smiled, shyly. 

I decided to ask her out for lunch, making an excuse that it was to get closer so that we can get rid of the awkwardness in our dance. I was about to ask her, when the door of the room opened and Taemin walking in, surprised to see me. 

"Oppa!" Naeun shouted, and ran to hug him. He changed his gaze from me to her and hugged her back. "I missed you" she continued, while snuggling in his arms 

I stood there, my jaw half falling, how was this possible? He had never seen them together, except for the shows, and Taemin had never told him about this.

"Hey" I said, quieter than what I usually said when I would meet him. 

"Hey" he said back, his smile a bit weird, and his eyes looking apologetic. 

"Jongin oppa, I will meet you this Friday, again?" She said, letting Taemin free and turning to me with her bright smile. 

I nodded, not saying anything else, and they had left. Naeun holding his arm while looking at each other lovingly. My heart hurt. It was the first time feeling this hurt. Never had I lost my crush to another guy. And never to my best friend. 

Friday. The day I will see her agin, but this time I wasn't excited. I wanted to excuse myself. Get sick. Break my leg. Sprain it. Anything, but to meet Naeun again. 

I walked in the practice room 10 minutes later than the schedule, and Naeun was there, sitting at the edge with her knees brought to her chest, and her head buried in between. The dance teacher looked at me like, help I don't know what to do. I asked him to leave, while approaching the figure that still made my heart go crazy. 

"Taemin oppa broke up with me" she didn't wait for me to say anything. 

"Oh" that was the only word I could say. What a helpless dude I must be. 

"He said he's job was done" she cried and looked at me with her red puffy eyes. 

I didn't need to think anything, I pulled her up into a hug, not a thing I would do, but I couldn't help it, it was Naeun who was crying. 
"Don't listen to that kid, he's not worth to you" I whispered, rubbing her back, as I pulled her closer. "Look, there are better guys than Taemin ah, you just have to move on, okay?" I smiled, pulling her away from me, and staring at her puffy eyes. 

"B-bu""no buts, or any negative comments. I hate negative people, anyway. Just be your true self, and a guy would pop up, no guy can leave a girl like you" I blurted, not realizing what I had just said, until I was done talking. Then it hit me, and in looked at her, wide eyed and covered my mouth. "Well, maybe" I added quickly. 

She chuckled, "thanks oppa" she said, quietly, and rubbed her eyes with her shirt before looking up with a smile. "You know we can't waist our precious time with this thing, let's get started" she said, and screamed the choreographer's name. 

I was startled at first, she was over it really easily, I expected for this lesson to be wasted. 

"YAH, Taemin ah" I shouted his name, seeing him walk down the corridor with a water bottle in his hand. He turned and saw me running.

"What's up, bro" he smiled 

"yah, why did you brea-" 

"My job was done" he cut me off, with a sad smile "she found a better guy" he finished before I was about to shout 'what do you mean!?' 

"Wait... She cheated on you?" I made a fist and whispered 

"NO NO! Naeunie will never cheat, she's definitely not those kind of girls!" He waved his hand "it's just..." He hesitated

"Just, what?" I nudged 

"Well, you know. We had been close ever since that tv show, and I could tell back then, she loved me like I loved her. But when I went to Japan, it changed. I came back, and all the lust and love started to fade from her eyes" 

"That's a lie, she still loves you, idiot. She looks at you with those loving gaze" I shouted 

"Well that's cause you don't know her before you guys met. It all changed when she met you, Jongin" I was about to get mad at him, until I froze and tried to understand what he had just said. "Naeunie, she's been asking about you a lot, recently. She said she was Only interested cause your my BFF, but I doubt it. She has those feelings she used to have when she first saw me. It's just that she hasn't realized it yet, she's really loyal"he chuckled and brushed his hair a bit before patting my shoulders. "And I know you like her too" he whispered, leaving me in the spot. 

His back looked sad, being with him for over 5 years, I know every single parts of him. He looked sad, but he didn't look as if he regretted it. It only seemed temporary, the scar wasn't that deep. 

"I will take care of her!" I shouted towards his back, seeing him wave his hand in the air, I sprinted back to the practice room where I left my belongings.

To: Son Naeun

Where are you? 

From: Son Naeun 

Cube Entertainment's practice room, why? 

It didn't take me more than 15 minutes to get there. I walked pass the entrance, even when the guards tried to stop me, I pushed myself through. The staffs seemed surprised, but once seeing my face, it changed into bewilderment. 
I climbed three steps at a time, dashing through the corridor while checking in side, seeing if Naeun was in one of them. 

"Jongin oppa?" She half shouted, seeing me standing here. Her eyes wide opened, and looking around confused. "W-why are you-" 

"You know, just forget about Taemin ah, because I like you" I stated, no explanation before it, I just spitted what I had to say. Naeun looked super surprised, like what the hell? 
"You don't deserve Taemin, and you know why? Because you have a better guy called Kim Jongin"