She looked at the mess of shards scattered all around her feet, glaring at her like landmines ready to explode at any given opportunity, however small and slight it would be. She stared, boring holes into her own fiasco of broken glasses and mirror and she knew she had done it again. She had messed up again and it would be only a matter of time before someone found out, just like how that girl did last time that left her scarred for life.

It wasn’t her fault, no, it never was. She knew that like matter-of-factly. No one would have predicted that after so long, after so many years, that her panic attacks would kick in again, this time without mercy as she tried to hold onto something and broke it, yet again. It was so stupid of her when, last week, she had stopped her medication completely. Someone on her line of work shouldn’t be high on hallucinatory drugs, so she said when she begged—she kneeled and begged that old fart of a doctor and she regretted it. She ing regretted it right now.

Wheezing badly, she blurry stared at the y traps that were broken shards scattered all over. She let out a strangled sigh before walking—stomping—her bare right foot onto few pieces. The pool of bloods seeped through the numbers of sudden gashes and colored the white ceramic floor with crimson red like a flash flood, and she was ready for the amount of scolds she would most definitely received later for ditching the job, as per usual during her attacks.

It hadn’t been there before, that she was sure, but now there were loud bangs on the wooden door and she cursed the stupidity that was forgetting to change the keys and locked the door to her house.

House. She even took the time to brokenly laugh at the sheer coldness of the word. There had been no such thing as a house for her, back in the days when this anxiety didn’t exist. There hadn’t been anything she could call as such, but there was something she could call ‘home’. Home. Home. It bothered her, that wicked word. And where was it again? The girl that made her call that hole ‘home’?

She weakly rotated her body, searching for evidences of her cruel, past life. Catching the mere glimpse of a turquoise, rectangular-shaped object, she walked hastily, the crunchy sound of shards burying themselves into her, dissipating the silence along with her uneven breath.

As she grabbed the phone harshly and slid her finger over the screen, the door broke open, revealing a petite woman, glaring at the anxious woman in the room coldly before taking in the overall scene in front of her.

“T-Tae…” the bleeding woman cried out, smiling brokenly while showing up a picture of a girl smiling widely without looking at the screen, “I-Isn’t she so… so pretty no-now? M-My… my-…”

“Tsk,” said woman scoffed at the photo with complete disinterest showing all over her face before taking out her own phone and dialed a number, “Hello, ma’am? This is Taeyeon speaking.”

“It’s Summer. She’s at it again.”

Something about Jinri today catches Suzy’s attention so badly she cannot stop staring at her roommate.

Maybe it’s the way the Choi smiles coyly as she prepares their usual breakfast, which consists of baked toasts and Americano (because who the hell can resists Jinri’s Americano?), because Sulli Choi Jinri rarely, and by that I mean really rarely, smiles in the morning, let alone looking like a fool..

Maybe it’s the way she hums a very happy tune while slicing the bread, because Sulli Choi Jinri never hums in the morning. Ever. Since the girl’s mostly grumpy in the morning, she doesn’t have time to bother with something like that. And even when she’s in a good mood the only thing on her mind is for how long will she has to work that day.

But it’s most likely the way her friend’s hair suddenly changes in color and length, because she is really sure she saw her yesterday morning still having that beautiful, silky jet-black hair. And yet, Jinri’s hair is now colored in deep red and becomes rather wavy. Not that she looks any less beautiful that way.

“Hey, Sulli.”

“Hmm?” the called girl glances at her freeloading friend, “what is it?”

“Were you on a date with that Krystal yesterday or something?”

Jinri visibly splutters at the mention of her mock girlfriend’s name and accidentally cuts her finger, causing her to yelp in surprise.

“Oh my God, Sulli! Are you okay?” Suzy swiftly runs to the redhead, “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have startled you!”

The Choi smiles, but the pain is clearly there on her expression, “I’m fine, Suzy,” she says, “and well… yeah, I hung out with her yesterday.”

Quickly, the black haired girl grabs the medicine box and takes out a piece of bandage, “Really? Where did you two go to?”

“Let me think… I think it was a salon, a makeup artist’s house, and that huge park in the middle of the city.”

Suzy raises an eyebrow, “that’s kinda random.”

But Jinri shakes her head, “no, we’re actually visiting her friends there, which kind of impresses me that she has a lot of amazing friends.”

“Give me a name and I’ll judge for myself.”

“Hmm… the makeup artist’s name, I think it was Tiffany Hwang—”

“Tiffany Hwang? THAT Tiffany Hwang? Seoul’s most in-demand makeup artist?!” Suzy interjects, her jaws dropping, “wait, wow. That’s very surprising, but continue.”

“Well… I think that painter’s name was Yura Kim—”

“No way, Yura Kim?! Seoul’s most popular street artist?!”

“Y-Yeah…”

The Bae looks like she’s unable to breathe, “Oh. My. God. You’re so lucky! It takes an average person at least a-week-prior reservation to get her to draw you. This Krystal is really something else to be able to befriend Yura Kim…”

Jinri chuckles, “cool down your nerves a bit, Suzy. Well, there’s also Kang Seulgi—”

“KANG SEULGI??!!” the sudden boom of the freeloader’s voice startles the Choi so much she jumps back at the sound of it.

“… I swear if you keep on doing that, Bae Suzy, I’ll—”

Suzy slaps her friend’s hand before she could finish her sentence, “you don’t understand, lucky bastard! Seulgi’s the best hairdresser in South Korea! Oh God when can I meet someone like Krystal?! That girl’s amazing for ’s sake!”

“Hey, language!” the redhead gives her frantic friend a sharp glare, “no one swears in my apartment!”

“Right… and then you do that all the time, too,” the freeloading girl murmured, pouting at her friend who simply, noncommittally shrugs.

“So that’s why you look strangely different now?” Suzy continued, “I mean, you’re so conservative you never dyed your hair, and now you’re a freaking redhead. And don’t get me started on your smile—”

“What about my smile?” Jinri interrupted, muttering slight ‘thanks’ along as soon as her friend is done bandaging her finger, “I smile like this all the time.”

Suzy shakes her head firmly before looking at her clueless friend, softly, as she mutters, “it’s different, silly. It’s like… it’s like you’re—”

‘You are beautiful just as you were yesterday

No, you’re more beautiful than you were yesterday’

The sound of Suzy’s phone startles the two girls, cutting off whatever it is the owner of said phone is about to say. Smiling apologetically, the Bae struts her way towards the object lying helplessly on top of their living room’s table, vibrating along with the music.

‘Dream, when you look at me just like that

I feel like you’re—’

“Hello, Suzy here,” the girl presses the green button on the screen rather hastily and walks into her room, “ah, yes, so today—” her sounds become muffled as she closes the door, leaving Jinri in all her lonesome with her—their—baked toasts and Americano cups, and the tall girl merely smiles and cleans up a bit before sitting at the dining table and takes a sip of her own blend.

‘I had sweet dreams yesterday

I don’t wanna tell you now, because I’m too shy’

“What a lively morning we’re having today,” the Choi mumbles with a smile. Suzy must have somehow changes her phone’s ringtone because now it’s playing the same music as hers when previously, it was f(x)’s 4 Walls that she set as her ringtone.

She takes the phone with her slender left hand and looks at the caller’s ID, surprised at the name listed.

Soojung.

‘Dream that I get to keep thinking about all day

That was really sweet, that’s you’

Jinri blushes slightly upon listening deeper into the lyrics. It feels so weird listening to this sweet, calming jazz song when Soojung’s face keeps on popping in her head. It feels weird, but not a bad feeling to have.

“Hello, Jungie?”

“Hi, Ssul. Have a nice morning?”

Jinri chuckles, “yes… yes, I do.”

“All thanks to our hangout yesterday, I presume?”

“Yeah, we should do it again sometimes. Helps clear out the stresses, apparently.”

“Yah, your stresses are there because you keep on taking so many part-time jobs, stupid.”

The Choi pouts even if the girl on the other end can’t see it, “it’s not like I want to… and just so you know, that many jobs can only support two young girls in their teenage phase… barely.”

There is a pause before the other line speaks, but her tone is confused, “What was that?”

“What was what?” the tall girl asks back, confused.

“Two young girls? You… what are you talking about?”

There’s a foreign feeling in the way Soojung asks the question, a feeling that makes Jinri shudders suddenly, “Didn’t I tell you? I live with my friend, her name’s—”

“A girl? You’re living with a girl?!”

“Y-Yes… is-is there something wrong?”

*beep*

The call ends abruptly and leaves the redhead hanging, surprised and bewildered not even able to describe how she feels at her mock girlfriend’s sudden outburst.

Just then, Suzy comes out of her room, her phone still planted next to her ear as she speaks—rambles—“okay, so see you later today, Min-unnie! Don’t forget to bring us lots of snacks, ‘kay?!” before pressing the end call button.

“Okay, time to eat those baked toasts! ... Uh, Sulli?”

The Bae gives her friend a confused look at the sight of her friend staring at her phone, looking blank and lost.

Suzy scratches her nape, “what did I miss?”

“Hey, Krys! ‘Sup? Why do you wanna meet with me all of a sudden? Missing me?” A certain tomboyish girl greets her best friend, but said friend doesn’t even look at her, busying herself by looking at the pattern of the tablecloth while also mumbling some incoherent words that sound a lot like a curse spell. Feeling awkward all of a sudden, the blonde sighs and takes a seat.

“You,” Soojung suddenly says, snapping her head towards the shocked tomboy’s direction, “you… what is it that you didn’t tell me?”

The Taiwanese-American gapes stupidly at the Jung, unable to comprehend the brunette’s sudden snappiness towards her, “w-what about?”

“Ssul, she’s...” Soojung’s head hurts just thinking about it, as she pinches the bridge of her nose softly, “she’s living with a girl, isn’t she?”

She thought Amber would have known about it, so she’s surprised when the girl sitting across her is also furrowing her brows, “what…? Really?”

“You don’t know?”

“No, this is the first time I’m hearing about this,” the Liu tries to remember if Jinri has ever told her about having a girl housemate, but finally shakes her head and gives up, “so who’s this housemate of Sulli?”

Soojung scrunches her eyebrows again and looks away through the café’s window, muttering something along the lines of ‘how the should I know’ and ‘I don’t even wanna know’.

Amber smiles in amusement at her sulking best friend. She actually isn’t that surprised to know that Jinri has a housemate, after all the idea of working at more than four part-time jobs just to support her own wellbeing is a bit too far-fetched knowing that the tall Choi doesn’t have a luxurious lifestyle. However she figures Soojung is just rather ignorant when it comes to small details.

“Should I call Jinri and ask about it?” she asks, fishing out her phone and is about to dial their friend’s numbers before the Jung stops her rather frantically.

“No! She’ll know that you ask because of me!”

“What? How would she even knows that?” the Liu questions.

“W-Well…” the Jung fidgets, “I, uh… I called her this morning—”

Amber grins, figuring out where this is going.

“—I asked her about yesterday, if she had fun or not… Just simple questions like that, then she blurts out that she’s working to support two teenage girl’s life…

… I was surprised because last time I visit her apartment she’s alone, no one else lives there. I asked her what she’s talking about and she told me she lived with another girl—”

“And you get jealous?”

Soojung’s eyes almost threaten to bulge out of their sockets, “what? NO! What in the world are you e-even thinking of?! M-Me, jealous? Pfft, as if!”

Amber feels like recording this whole conversation and sends it to Victoria and Luna because it’s just that amusing and funny and entertaining, to see the mighty Krystal Jung Soojung’s face reddens like a ripening tomato as she vehemently denies feeling something nonsensical that is definitely there, but the tomboy knows better. She gives off a mischievous smirk before adding, “Well, if you’re not jealous, it shouldn’t have bothered you how many girls Sulli has as her housemate, right?”

The brunette’s eyes widened but narrows into slits just as quickly, sneering, “Yeah, that stupid giant can just do whatever she wants with her harem for all that I care!”

“Really? But you clearly doesn’t sound like tha—OWH! MY FOOT!”

“That’s what you get for teasing me,” the younger girl growls, still not looking at the wincing Amber, “seriously, why did I even call you? Should’ve asked Vic-umma to come here instead of this freak…”

“You called me because this freak know more about the two of you than Victoria and Luna do, smartass,” the blonde snorts, “fine, go call Vic and leave me in all my lonesomeness… I’ll just call Henry—”

“Goddamnit, fine! Yeah, I’m maybe jealous as because of that stupid Choi and you’re here to help me! So don’t ditch me here…” Soojung glares at the smirking girl, obviously knowing that she’s just teasing her but not liking the idea of being left alone in her misery, she decides to play along.

After all, there’s no way in the world that she’s jealous over Choi freaking Jinri, right?

Right…?!

“You aren’t working today, Jinri-ya?”

Jinri glances at her housemate before shaking her head, “no, I… I’m taking a day off.”

“Oh my God, are you seriously not sick or something? Sulli Choi Jinri never takes a day off! Yah, who are you and what have you done to my workaholic best friend?!” Suzy playfully tackles the unsuspectingly dazed girl, surprising the Choi enough for her to shout out some undignified shrieks.

“What do you think you’re—Yah, Bae Suzy!”

“Glad to know you can still rock those shrieks! Now snap out of your stupid reverie and act like Choi Jinri would,” the freeloading girl snickers, removing herself off her friend, “well, it’s nice to see you finally taking a day off your unnecessarily busy life of working part-time though. Should I thank Krystal Jung for this?” she smirks.

The redhead rolls her eyes, “I’d rather work all the time than seeing you smirking like that,” she says before mumbling something that sounds like ‘it’s creepy as heck’ lowly.

Suzy sighs before leaving her friend and straight towards the kitchen, adding, “by the way, Min-unnie’s coming here soon to have a study session with me. Now that you aren’t working, wanna join us? She’s smart, you can learn great stuffs like calculus and accounting easily.”

The tall Choi ponders about it for a while before nodding, “sure, why not? But go easy on me, please…”

A laugh escapes the other girl’s mouth, “sure, sure… You’re a bright kid, though, so it’s not really necessary.”

“I know next to nothing about accounting…”

“It’s not like I do, too. Now why don’t you be a darling and make us three cups of your ultimate Americano?” Suzy suggests, already going ahead with preparing the cups and ingredients, “Min-unnie said she misses it.”

“But you just had yours this morning—”

“I know, I know, but I want it again. Pretty please with Krystal Jung on top?”

“Good gracious when will you stop that?”

“Not until I find another stuffs to tease you with so freakin’ it up, Choi.”

Jinri huffs inelegantly and grumpily takes over the counter, getting to work immediately. Suzy, having accomplished the mighty task of subtly forcing the slightly older girl to make her favorite coffee, skips towards the living room happily, leaving the Choi in her misery.

“Well… here we are.”

Amber unbuckles her seatbelt while fixating her gaze at the decent, if not rustic apartment building before her. “Wow,” she mumbles, “I have no idea Sulli lives here.”

Soojung meanwhile busies herself with straightening her clothes, making sure to look presentable even though she isn’t planning on visiting Jinri. “I thought you’d know,” she says, her tone barely questioning.

“I only ever meet her at the café. To be honest, I don’t really know her as much as you do by now, Krys.”

“What do you mean, ‘as much as you do now’?”

“The heck’s kinda question is that? You’re her girlfriend—well, ‘mock girlfriend’ for now, but you get my drift—you ought to know her more than I, her friend, do!”

Soojung looks at her llama friend in shock, “that statement of yours manages to raise so many questions in my head I don’t even know where to start with! What do you even mean by ‘for now’?!”

Her friend rolls her eyes, “you actually managed to start questioning me anyway… enough about that! Are we gonna come in or what?”

“Well of course we’re going!” the Jung answers as she opens the door and leaves hastily, leaving the bewildered tomboy alone who merely shakes her head in response.

“—so you substitute x with this equation and continue as usual from there,” a woman with short hair finishes her explanation curtly before sipping her Americano, “do you get it, Suzy, Jinri?”

“I get it!” “I don’t…”

Jinri and Suzy look at each other briefly before breaking out into a fit of giggles. “Yah, you’re the one in university. How come I’m the one who gets it?” the redhead asks, amused.

“I blame Min-unnie for my lack of understanding in calculus,” Suzy says offhandedly, “just kidding, unnie! Please don’t pout, you look cute doing that and I don’t like it ‘cause I’m supposed to be the cute one here,” she continues, puffing her cheeks. She blatantly ignores Jinri’s exaggerated gagging.

Min laughs, “Oh, Suzy,” she smiles warmly, “One of these days you’re going to give me diabetes, seriously.”

“I know, that’s why I ask Jinri to brew us some Americanos,” the Bae grins proudly, “aren’t I the sweetest hoobae?”

“Excuse me for a sec,” Jinri pretends to puke, which elicits a loud laugh from the oldest girl and a painful slap to the arm from the same-aged tenant, “oww!”

“You deserve it,” Suzy pouts, “let’s just ignore her. Min-unnie, how about this question—”

*ding dong*

All the girls in the room stops whatever they are doing and looks at the small corridor leading to the front door.

“Was that for us?” the Choi asks to no one in particular, moments before the doorbell rings again, this time accompanied with few knocks on the wooden door.

“Jinri-ya~” Suzy mewls cutely, “you’re the closest to the door, right?”

Said girl sighs and stands up, ignoring the curt ‘thanks’ the black-haired girl shoots her way.

“Yes, who is—” she pauses at the sight of two all familiar girls on her doorsteps, “—Jungie? Amber?”

“Yo, Sulli!” the tomboyish girl greets cheerfully, “sorry for dropping by so suddenly like this!”

Jinri shakes her head, “no, no, it’s cool! What’s the occasion, though?”

“Y’see, this Krys here—”

“Why aren’t you working, Ssul?” Soojung cuts her friend, glancing over her mock-girlfriend’s shoulder, into the room. Her brows twitch at what seems to be a long, black hair slightly visible behind the partition, “I thought you’d be working today.”

Jinri looks at her back, wondering what it is the Jung is looking at. She sees nothing unusual and looks back at her two friends, “Uh, well… I thought I’d take a day off once in a while. Like you said yesterday, it’s not exactly healthy for me to work every day.”

That gets Soojung to stop leering murderously towards the unsuspecting figure in the living room and stares at her summer lover in genuine surprise, cheeks reddening wildly. “O-Oh,” she splutters out, “that’s—that’s good. I-I’m glad you listened to my advice.”

“Of course I do. You’re my ‘girlfriend’. And besides, you were right on point. I haven’t been taking care of myself well.”

Amber glances discreetly at her best friend and smirks. She knows Soojung stops registering anything Jinri said past the ‘girlfriend’ words.

Oh, Jinri and her huge effects on the Ice Princess.

“Right, so! Aren’t you going to let us in, Sulli-ah?” the tomboy teases. She silently giggles at Jinri’s surprised face as she moves aside in panic.

“S-Sorry, come in guys! I’ll make something. How does Americano sounds?”

“Like music to my ears. Right, Krys?”

Said girl merely nods stiffly as they excuses themselves into the apartment.

“Krys, don’t forget. No catfight in here, okay? We’re just going to see who Sulli’s living with, nothing more,” the Liu whispers cautiously, which earns her another stiff nod from her best friend, “no getting jealous, no pulling someone’s hair—Wait, Suzy?”

Soojung snaps out of her trance and looks up to meet Bae Suzy’s surprised pair of orbs. It’s silent for a bit before Jinri voices out, “wait, you know each other?”

“We—uh, I do, at least,” Amber stutters out. The Choi widens her eyes slightly. In all the times she has known the older girl, never once has she seen her stutter like this—like someone who’s too surprised to produce coherent thoughts and forming them into words. She looks at Soojung, who seems to freeze in her place.

“Amber? Is that you?”

The called girl looks away from Suzy and gasps again, this time more of excitement, “Min! It’s been a while!”

“It is!” she grins, “I never thought I’d see you again! You know Jinri?”

“Yeah, from this café I frequently visit,” Amber hugs her long-time friend. She whispers something into Min’s ear that Jinri can’t hear, but she doesn’t really care.

It’s the other pair of girls that worries her.

Soojung and Suzy continues to have a staring contest between each other, as if nothing else exist beside each other. Jinri literally can see sparks flying between their locked gaze, sparks that can kill.

“Well, hello Krystal Jung-ssi,” Suzy is the first to speak up, smiling sweetly. However, there’s something different in her eyes and smile that puts the tall redhead off, “this is our first time meeting each other, right?”

“Indeed,” Soojung quips, her voice equally as sweet, except the venomous anger in it is so obvious even a three-year old kid would be able to notice it, “It’s nice to meet you, Suzy Bae. I heard many things about you from ‘someone who knows you really well’.”

The smile adorning Suzy’s face drops instantly, “I’m not sure which one I like less; you talking about me or this ‘someone who knows me really well’ person.”

“Oh, trust me,” the younger girl shrugs, “you’re not going to like both.”

“I guess as much. So, may I ask why you are here—” a smirk forms on her face, “—in my and Jinri’s apartment?”

Said girl’s eyes widen and jaws drop. Same with Amber and Min, who stop gushing over their reunion to watch the two teenage girl facing off.

“I—you—what—” Soojung splutters, clearly taken aback. She glares at the poor, clueless Jinri who doesn’t have the slightest clue as to why her pretend girlfriend and her freeloading best friend.

“So it’s her?” the Jung hisses, still glaring daggers at the taller girl while pointing accusing finger at Suzy, “you’re rooming with this—this girl?!”

“I—uh, yes?”

“Amber! We’re leaving!” the brunette shouts angrily, stomping her way to the front door.

“What?! But, we just got here—”

“We. Are. Leaving.”

“Yes, my lady,” Amber meekly answers before giving Min and Suzy curt apologies. She turns towards Jinri and smiles reassuringly, “please don’t mind Krystal. She’s having that time of the month.”

“O-Okay…”

“By the way, nice hair, Ssul. It suits you well.”

“T-Thanks—”

“Amber Josephine Liu!”

The tomboy groans, “I’m coming oh my God!”

As the front door closes slowly, silence seeps into the room once again.

“… so, what was that?”

“I hate her.”

A petite woman with ashen gray hair sighed as she leaned towards the headrest of her car seat, “I know. I do, too.”

“Can’t you just, like, report her to your boss?”

“You know I can’t, babe. Mrs. Kwon’s extremely overprotective of her. The only thing I’ll get from reporting is a dismissive smile at best and relocation at worst.”

“What’s wrong with being relocated? You won’t be near that anymore.”

“Yeah, I also won’t be near you anymore. You know how big the agency is. I can even be relocated to Iceland, who knows?”

“Oh my God.”

The woman closed her eyes, “please be patient, okay? I know Summer’s intolerable, but at least you only meet her when doing her makeup. Me? I have to submit to her whim all the time.”

“… Where are you right now, Taetae?”

Taeyeon looked outside the car’s window, “just this creepy neighborhood no one wants to be seen in.”

“God, Kim Taeyeon! What are you even doing there?!”

“Please blame Summer’s nonsensical request,” she clenched her teeth angrily, “I mean, I’m not hired to be a spy but guess what she makes me do?”

“I can’t believe this! I thought there’s no way I could hate her more but the universe just had to prove me wrong.”

“Ssh, don’t think too much about this, okay? You’ll only give yourself a headache,” Taeyeon smiled wryly, “I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” she said before hanging up, slouching into her seat even more.

“—believe it, Am!”

Her ears perked up at the somewhat familiar voice and she reclined her seat upwards.

“Why is she even rooming with Bae Suzy?! God, of all people!”

“Chill, okay? She must have a good reason. Besides, you should’ve seen her face. She looked really confused and lost, Krys.”

The brunette girl bit her lips, realization washed upon her, “She did…? God, now I feel so terrible…”

“Well, you have every right to be furious,” the tomboyish blonde patted her friend’s back gently, “let’s apologize to Sulli next time we see her, okay?”

The familiar girl nodded meekly, “let’s—let’s just go home for now.”

Taeyeon watched as the two girls—who clearly looked like they didn’t belong to this disgusting environment—entered the only other car on the street. As the car left the area she took her phone out and tinkered with it.

She snapped a picture and sent it to someone with the caption,

‘Found her.’