I walk out from the elevator, and take out my phone. I scroll down my contacts list, and find the freshly saved numbers of Kim Jongin. My thumb hovers above the screen, reluctant to touch the dial symbol.

     Why did I nod… I want to run away but I’m starting to feel bad. Maybe just this one time…

     I exhale deeply, and call his number. He picks up, and before I can say anything, he cuts my breath.

     “You spent quite some time on thinking whether to call me or not, yeah?”

     My mouth is slightly open, and I see Jongin walking towards me from the line of benches outside, coolly pressing his phone to his ears. He puts away his phone.

     “If you don’t want to go, it’s okay.”

     “I’ve agreed. It also used to be my school, anyway. I haven’t visited there for ages, too.”

     Jongin smiles. “Let’s go.”

     We go there by his car, and I keep silent during the way there. “Do you want to have lunch first?”

     “I’m not really hungry, it’s fine if I have lunch after we go to Yasaenghwa.”

     “If you say so.”

     More silence.

     “Why did you move after the first semester?” Jongin asks.

     “My father was asked to move to Gimhae, so his family had no choice but to follow.” I look at the sparkling Han River beside us, and I turn to him. “And you?”

     “Yeah, a bit similar to you.”

     “When did you move?”

     Jongin rubs his face, looking indifferent for a second. “Before the first semester ended.”

     “That’s… Early.” I respond. “Where did you move?”

     “Seoul.”

     I frown. “You weren’t going anywhere.”

     Jongin grins as he cheerfully taps the steering wheel with his fingers. “Yeah.”

     He diverts the topic to why I chose to come back to Seoul for college, and I said I needed to live away from my family for a year because I was accepted here, but now my father is relocated again to Seoul. The talk is focused mainly on me, and in a short while we arrive to the place once our high school. It’s still noon and classes are still being held so we can only meet counselors at this time.

     “Im Ahra, Im Ahra.” Mr. Lee, a counselor I fortunately know, goes through his archives beside his desk when Jongin and I meet him. “It was a pity that you moved, I think you were doing well with the choir club.”

     I shyly smile. Jongin can’t stay still on his seat. “How about me, Mr. Lee? Did the soccer club miss me too?”

     Mr. Lee’s face turns sour, and he sends a sharp, comical glance to Jongin. “You kid… You stopped going to school after three months, and suddenly in the end of the first year, you came here to meet me, asking for proper resignation.”

     I instantly turn to him, and Jongin lets out an awkward laugh.

     “Why did you do that, Kim Jongin? How are you now?”

     “I’m alive and kicking, Sir.” Jongin smiles. “I’m now studying industrial engineering in Hanyang University. Ahra is my college friend!” he pats my shoulder.

     Mr. Lee sighs, and forms a proud smile. “Whatever happened to you, I’m glad now you’re living well. You too, Ahra.”

     We walk out of the teacher’s room in silence, but now the silence feels wary.

     “Where should we eat? Do you remember the places around here?” Jongin asks, breaking the ice.

     “Yeah…” I emptily answer. “Han ajumeoni’s snack shop, do you remember her?”

     Jongin claps like a seal. “Right! The legendary rice cakes! Let’s go!”

    The old lady welcomes the two of us, and remembers our names, sans my surname. She gives us twice the amount of a normal portion, plus extra snacks. Jongin instantly devours the food, but I go on with a normal speed.

     “What was Mr. Lee talking about?” I ask.

     Jongin stops eating and looks at me. He breaks into a smile, the one you use to get away from explaining something. “Well…”

     “You only went to school for three months? What did you do then?”

     “Playing.” he straightforwardly answers. “I was homeschooled for the rest of school years, sat for the qualification exams and the university entrance exams. And here I am, a college student.”

     I nod, and continue eating. “Homeschooling, must be fun.”

     Jongin scoffs. “I only had three months of actual high school life, you know.”

     “Then why did you stop going to school?”

     He smiles again, but thinner than before. “That’s something I’m regretting right now.”

     After eating, we stop by a convenience store to buy ice cream and proceed to a public park near Yasaenghwa High. We’re eating the ice creams without words while sitting on the swings, watching kids go out from a kindergarten across the street.

     “Where do you live?” Jongin opens up a conversation again.

     “Yongsan.”

     “Oh, not too far from school.”

     I nod. “You?”

     “Gangnam.”

     I glance at him. “Wow.”

     “What’s with the ‘wow’?” Jongin laughs.

     “Nothing…” I drag the word. Truthfully, only by a look I can tell he lives comfortably. The way he dresses, the way he behaves, everything. I stare at his car which is parked near us. I mean, look at that car. It’s freaking two-seated.

     “Why did you choose education?”

     “My mother used to be a teacher. It kinda runs in the family.” I explain. “And you? Why industrial engineering?”

     “It’s the easiest out of everything I was offered.” Jongin plainly answers as he takes the last bite of his chocolate cone. I blankly look at him.

     Easiest… What is he?

     Jongin asks me to go to Yasaenghwa again at Saturday to be able to wander around freely without people inside the building. I throw him a tired look. “You must really miss high school.”

     “As I should.” Jongin starts the engine of his car. “Well then… Let’s take you home.”

     He drives me home, fulfilling his promise to take me exactly to my doorstep. He even walks me there. “Thank you, Jongin.”

     “I hope you’re not scared of me anymore.”

     “It’s actually still not fully proven.”

     Jongin laughs loudly, and I smile at him. This is probably the first time I’m genuinely smiling in front of him.

     “See you on Saturday.” Jongin walks backwards to my gate.

     “Walk properly or you’ll trip.”

     “I can’t take my eyes off of you, what should I do?”

     I scoff. “Shut up.”

     A few minutes later, Jongin’s car disappears from my sight, and I take some time to stand still in front of my door.

     He stopped going to school, playing for the rest of the school year, and homeschooled for the next two years. Is he a rebel? But he managed to pass the exams, and he’s looking stable as a sophomore now.

     I shake my head, preventing myself to think too much about Kim Jongin. If there’s something I’m curious about, I think he’ll answer if I ask him myself.

-

     Saturday morning, Jongin waits in front of my house, leaning on his car with sunglasses on. I squint my eyes at the view. “You don’t match well with this neighborhood.”

     Jongin grins playfully and lets me inside the car. “I’ll remove the sunglasses. But hey, look what I found at home.” Jongin reaches for something below the air conditioner and hands it to me. It’s his old Yasaenghwa name tag.

     “Oooh, I still have this too, still pinned to my uniform.”

     “You should check it, it might leave rust stains on the fabric!”

     “Yeah, yeah, ahjumma.” I mock him as I put back the name tag. “Do you want to wear this?”

     Jongin happily nods, and on a red light I pin it to his shirt. His grey clothes look similar to our high school uniform at Yasaenghwa, and his kidlike acts make it look believable that he might be a high school student.

     We arrive at our destination, and after telling the security we’re alumnus of the school, he lets us inside. The west building, mainly consists of extracurricular rooms and teachers’ halls, guarantee many people currently being inside so Jongin and I go around the east building, where the classes at.

     “This is my class.” I point to 1-2, and peek inside. Nothing has really changed, besides the decorations. “Oh, the lockers were repainted…”

     “Do you want to go inside?” Jongin asks. I try to open the door, but it’s locked.

     “Eh. Let’s just keep walking. Where is yours?”

     Jongin points to the end of the corridor. “1-10. The estranged one.”

     “Whoah… No wonder we never encountered each other again after orientation.”

     We peek inside, and Jongin tries to open the door. It’s strangely unlocked. We go inside, and I take a seat in front of the teacher’s table while Jongin walks around in front of the board. He scribbles random words with the marker, and erases it afterwards. I look around. “Where did you use to sit?”

     Jongin turns around from the board, and slowly approaches a seat on the back corner of the room. He sits on it and puts his feet on the table. “Here.” he forms a smirk.

     I sit on the seat next to him. “This is a boring seat. You can’t see anything from here.”

     “Ha ha ha.” Jongin idly laughs. “You can sleep comfortably here.”

     “God, seems like you don’t even experience those three months fully.”

     Jongin smiles, but then it gradually fades away from his face. He crosses his arms on his chest, and stares at his knees.

     “Jongin…”

     “I don’t even have any friends. I still remember some, but I don’t think they’d remember me. I almost have no memory about high school.”

     I say nothing, and listen to his every word.

     “When I was homeschooled, I thought, this is the life, not going to school. But I didn’t realize that I was missing out a lot of things.”

     “Did you… Choose to be studying from home?”

     “It was my parents’ last resort to make me study. I need to go to college, anyway. So yeah…”

     I’m sure Jongin still has a lot of stories about this, and the possibilities that I’m thinking of are it’s either he was homeschooled because of one normal reason, or because of one awful reason.

     “I want to turn back time.” Jongin lifts his head, smiling bitterly. I meet his eyes, and they’re watery.

     For some reasons my chest hurts, and I feel like crying too.