I hate being in this cafeteria.

     But I have to eat so I wouldn’t die. I should have been able to survive the day by eating breakfast, but the take-home midterm consumed all my time, and I was even late to class. Thankfully my professor didn’t kick me out.

     I look around the cafeteria. As expected from lunchtime, people are equally in the same confusion state as others—they’re hungry as hell but they have gotten enough material to talk about from their morning classes, thus making them to gossip while eating. The noise irritates me, and I just stand there in front of the rows of long tables and seats, holding my food tray, as I look for empty seats. I notice a guy sitting alone on an empty long table which can fit eight people, and I decide that I’ll just sit on the other end of the table in front of him.

     I quietly put down my tray, sit, and hold my spoon. Before I can pick up a piece of meat, the guy on the table says something to me, a bit too quickly I could almost miss his words.

     “You’re going to make it hard for the juniors.”

     I stop moving, but don’t bother to lift my head. From my sight I could see the guy slightly stand up, moves himself to sit right in front of me, and pulls his tray smoothly. I take a good three seconds staring blankly at his half-finished food which consists of mostly chicken, and finally move my eyeballs to look at this man’s face.

     “Hi. Kim Jongin, from the faculty of industrial engineering. Sophomore.”

     This man looks as harmless as one could be, with round, bright eyes, and soft-looking black hair which reminisces me of a baby’s. I mutter my name. “Im Ahra.”

     “What major are you?” he asks, his expression is scarily bright.

     “Education.”

     “For a sophomore, you look so drained already.”

     I lift my head. “How did you know I’m also a sophomore?”

     “What kind of junior walks around alone, especially at lunchtime?” Jongin smiles, and he raises his chopsticks again. For the next minute, we’re eating in silence, until a group of juniors meekly ask for our permission to sit on our table. I glance at them and give a quick nod, but this Jongin guy decides to do a bit more.

     “Eat deliciously, kids.” he says, his tone as bright as the morning sunshine. “…and quickly.”

     The continuation makes me stop chewing. He went from a bubbly, happy-go-lucky figure to a hidden monster. I didn’t even see his face, but his last words make me shudder. What is he?

     The kids beside us who already sat down freeze on their seats, and begin eating nervously. I take a deep breath, dig a big portion to my spoon to make it look like I’ve finished most of my mixed rice, and chew as fast as possible so I could go away. I swallow with much difficulty, and stiffly stand up, hands on my tray.

     “What, you’re not going to wait for me?”

     That tone. That seemingly non-detrimental tone, yet it sounds so life-threatening for me. Why does it make me extremely nervous? My legs weaken and somehow I settle down again on my seat. Jongin forms a little smile, and continues to eat.

     Finally he clears his plate, and I don’t even realize that I waited for him to instruct me to stand up. I trail behind him to put our trays near the exit, and finally, the outside world. My shoes have pointed to the direction of my building, but Jongin swiftly grabs my sleeve and I stumble to the space next to him.

     “No class in this university starts right after lunch. We still have some time until 1 PM. How about a walk to digest better?”

     “I don’t walk with a stranger.” I yank off his hand as politely as possible, but he doesn’t let go. In addition, his face turns pouty.

     “Pretty please?”

     His smile kills me, not even in a good way. “Only at the area near my faculty.”

     Off we go to the faculty of education’s block. The place is still fairly empty because of lunch time, and I stiffly walk beside Jongin who is humming a melody.

     I get reminded of something. “Why did you eat here?” his faculty is almost half a mile away from here, in this university.

     Jongin lets out an inaudible laugh. “Well, I just wanted to.”

     We keep walking around, with severe lack of dialogue, but I don’t really mind that. I don’t feel like talking anyway. 1 PM is nearing, and he walks me to the elevator.

     “See you soon.” he smiles, and I can’t even force a smile. Why would I meet him again soon? Who is he to do so?

     And by ‘soon’, I really don’t expect to find him at the same spot we parted three hours ago, when my class ends. I get motionless inside the elevator, holding the door open button. He smiles to me outside, and reaches my shoulders to drag me out from the elevator.

     “I’m craving for some dessert.”

     “I’m sorry, Jongin-ssi, I can’t.” I let go of his arm on my shoulders.

     “What’s with the sudden honorific after talking informally awhile ago?”

     “I was just following you!”

     “Then why can’t you follow me now?”

     I have my mouth slightly open, and sigh.

     We relocate to a café right beside the campus, and Jongin is excitedly moving on his seat while I’m staying still like a stone in front of him, waiting for our orders.

     “You must be scared of me.” he says calmly, with a sweet, genuine smile. I frown.

     “Scared is not wrong, but I’m also dumbfounded.”

     “Yeah, we just meet again now. I understand.”

     I frown even deeper. “What?”

     “I don’t even think you remember me.”

     “Jongin-ssi… Please explain.”

     “I will, Ahra-ssi.” he mocks my tone. “Let me get started with… Did you stay until the end at Yasaenghwa High?”

     “No.” I instantly answer. “I moved after my first semester.”

     “Neither did I.” our orders are brought by a waiter, and Jongin directly sips half of his coffee. “I moved too. But I knew you.”

     “Did we ever meet? Were we friends?’ I start to get cautious, afraid that if, if he really were my friend, that’d make me a really bad one for not remembering him. But I didn’t recall anything…

     “That’s the problem. It was vague. Were we?” he points at me with his fork which is covered with chocolate sauce from the cake he’s eating.

     My head starts to get dizzy. “Let’s just get to the point, can we?”

     Jongin laughs, and I spot a bit of chocolate on his upper lip. I offer him a napkin and subtly points to his lips. “Oh.” he says, after his laughter dies down. “Thank you. So… Did you remember the orientation week on Yasaenghwa?”

     My brain starts to flip over its archive. “Um… Yeah.”

     “Remember the mini drama on the final day? Randomly selected students needed to act out an impromptu performance.”

     My chest unknowingly felt weird, and I can feel my heartbeats getting faster for a reason. “Yeah. I…”

     “…cried.” Jongin nods. He finishes the last bite of his cake and looks at me. “You were acting out the sadness of parting with someone. Nobody expected a real crying scene. You made your partner flustered.”

     “It was you.” I stared at my coffee when I was thinking, and I instantly lift my head. “You were my partner.”

     Jongin slowly claps. “Hi. How have you been?”

     So this is what he meant with ‘vague’. Yes, I can’t really decide on what related us. We were paired up randomly for an event on our orientation week in high school, where I cried while doing so, but then that was it. We were from different classes, I had never met him again since then, and furthermore, I moved to another city after the first semester ended. I didn’t even know his name. Well, now I do.

     “You left a pretty big impression for me, now that I could remember you even after four years.” Jongin sets his plate aside, and drinks his coffee again. “I just want to ask, are you an actress or something else made you cry that time?”

     “Usual stuff.” I instantly answered. “The day before, the seniors came to reprimand every class, right? I was scared. So I cried on the orientation.”

     Jongin looks at me blankly. “You cried because of that?”

     “Yeah.”

     “Well, that must be very scary for you, to make you cry like that…” Jongin puts his hands behind his head.

     “Just how was I that time? Did I look hideous? How did I cry? Why are you so—“ I pause, searching for a fitting term. “—enthralled by it?”

     Jongin laughs again, and he finishes his coffee before answering. “It was just amusing, no offense—I thought I was entering an arts school.”

     Now it’s my turn to drink, and Jongin doesn’t say anything. But I can feel him watching me. “If looking at people drinking makes you that captivated, I can understand why you think me four years ago was so amusing to see.” I mutter.

     Jongin blinks and breaks into a loud laugh. “I’m just a very eager observer.”

     “Oh.”

     I continue to endlessly drink my coffee as fast as possible but with a relaxed pose. My stomach feels super uncomfortable when I finish, but I’d do everything to get out of here right now.

     “Thank you for… Today. Goodbye.”

     I’ve expected the worst—him holding me back, appearing out of nowhere again, and probably attacking me with subtle threats—but he just smiles and nods. And it makes me somehow more uneasy.

     “Yes, bye.” he cheerfully waves at me. “Be careful. Glad to meet you again.”

     I stiffly attempt a smile, but my face barely moves its muscles.

-

     I never encounter Kim Jongin again for a few days after that, but on the beginning of the week, right before my morning class on Monday, I see him standing on the entrance of my faculty, his head turning around left and right. I almost stop my steps. I decide to just walk past him, but of course I’m spotted.

     “Im Ahra!” his voice makes a few people also turn their heads. “Glad to see you.”

     “What are you doing here?” my voice is basically a whisper.

     “I’m waiting for you. Thought you’d have an early class, so I just waited there. Glad you appear just on time, I thought I needed to wait all day long.”

     “Why are you waiting for me?”

     “Are you free after classes? Let’s go to Yasaenghwa.”

     “Why would we?”

     “I just miss that place. I want to meet the teachers.”

     I sigh, and fix my bag strap on my shoulder. “Don’t you have classes too?”

     “I’m free for today.”

     I frown. “Well… I have no class after lunch.”

     “Then let’s have lunch outside! How is it?” Jongin’s eyes sparkle, and I’m honestly startled by his excitement.

     “Just promise me you wouldn’t kidnap and murder me, and that people would find pieces of my body floating on Han River tomorrow morning.”

     “No, because I’ll even take you to your doorstep on the end of the day, alive. Give me your phone.” He inputs his own numbers, and smiles as he hands back my phone. “Call me when you’re finished.”

     I slowly nod, and he waves me goodbye as he exits my faculty. I take a few seconds to observe his movements, and wonder about this particular ‘high school friend’.