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Broken

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Regret,

If only I knew my every pieces of heart would be destroyed, I wouldn’t accept that day when you said your name and offered me a hand. If only I knew how dreadful you’d wounded me till I felt like my blood dried up of the goring, until I felt numb of anything, I would have really, not saying ‘I love you too’ when you confessed that three meaningful words towardme, no matter how much I loved you, regardless of how I wanted to kiss that pair of beautiful lips of yours. But who I am to know anything? I’m not God, not a seer or some kind. I’m not even a perfect human to stand by you.

Regret? I don’t even know if that utterance ever suited me.

Togetherness,

We had been stayed together for years, knowing each other more than we had evermore known ourselves,

We had been friends since forever, band mates more than a half decade,

We had been living under the same roof, breathing the same air,

We had passed countless sleepless nights in denial, suffocating awkwardness of being around each other,

We had encouraged ourselves to declare our chaste love, spent some weeks to finally tell our three dongasaeng-deul about what’s in between us,

We had shared anything; from sweet-innocent kisses till some hot-steamy love makings,

We had through whatever thing; happiness, tears, white lies,

We had surpassed everything more than we had ever thought we would. Then why now?

Why were we walking into two different paths?

Memories,

Remember how we slipped away backstage after concert, how we had almost been caught red-handed by that old man on the restroom, and the last time we did it in plane cubicle?

Ahh… those old days’ memories… I really wanted to rip those parts out of my brain, spilt them. Just like the way I ripped your pictures from my albums, scattered them on the floor. But I am, happened to be Kim Jaejoong the man that was fated to love you in the past, present, and future. An idiot who would eventually gathered all the shattered pieces of your picture, crying, managing to glue them back together only to look cheap, ugly that I could barely see your handsome face through it. And that, no matter how hard I tried to erase you and our bittersweet memories out of my mind, I just couldn’t.

Because I’m tired, and I love you so ing much.

Fallen,

I had fallen too far. Too deep, just as deep as you had cut me. Loving you means hurting I thought I’m going to die because of that. but I didn’t even mind nevertheless. If to die meant having my body enveloped by your strong arms, having a sight of you shedding tears of my loss, having you kissing my forehead chanting me to wake up, I would gladly die tomorrow.

Call me crazy, but I am a mere lovesick. I am a of yours Jung Yunho. A that had no way to climb up this bottomless abyss we made together. An abyss we once called as ‘Love’.

Hate,

I could repeatedly say ‘I ing hate you!’, I could just senselessly beat up that small face of yours till none of your fangirls were capable to recognize you, I could just asked someone to shoot you right on the head that you’d disappear from this universe instantly. But that is, if only I had a heart to hate you. The truth, my hatred is nowhere compared to my worship towards you. My hatred is not even a drop of the ocean of love I provide you to sail your boat.

You didn’t deserve this. After every cruelty you had done, after the damaged you had caused my beings. I had to hate you not hating my self. However I couldn’t. I am powerless against my stubborn heart.

That I hate you; I love you so ing much.

Separation,

So far and too far, that was us currently. We’re not so close by the distant, and our hearts couldn’t be anymore further. Separated by invisible walls we built and constructed ourselves, we both didn’t have any idea of the reason behind our cold attitude toward each other. Why asked me? Why wanna know? You and I was a pair of puzzle used to complete a riddle, matched and suited perfectly. But there’s a time when the two puzzles were out of their shapes, broken, and that’s what we were like, my love. We had been hurting ourselves too much it needed to be brought up to an end.

Broken,

Broken glass could be fixed, but our relationship had passed its limit of being repaired. It was right; none of us had ever said anything about break-ups, but we’re slowly falling apart. And my love had nothing to do with that.

It’s hurt and I love you so ing much.

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Fin

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COMMENTS are my precious YJcandies!