Walking down the street i saw your man. He wasn’t wearing the ring you gave him, and he had another dude by his side.

I couldn’t believe it. I always had a bad feeling about him. And now this.

I tried to warn you. You got angry at me. You said “He’s not that type of person”. It’s unbelievable how you changed. He’s not being good for you, Sehun-Ah. Why can’t you see that?

I didn’t want to fight yet again, so i just said “Yeah, i guess it was someone else”. See? I lied for you. Why? Cause i still love you. I want to see you smile, and i want you to be happy. But i want to make you happy. Why won’t you let me, Sehun-Ah?

They were alone. Sehun and Luhan. Baekhyun, who whas always friends with both of them, wanted to go out and remember the old times. At least that’s what he said. On top of all, he was Luhan’s best friend. And that’s why, with a very lame excuse, he left the both of them alone at the restaurant they were in, staring at each other. Luhan cursed mentally at his friend, but deep inside he was happy. Maybe he had a chance.

“So… how are you?” Luhan asked in the middle of the silence contest they were having.

“... Fine. I guess. Why?” Sehun answered, a weird look on his face. Luhan shook his head in return. He didn’t want to explain the reasons why he wanted to know. Cause, actually, he already knew. Sehun is not “fine”. And he will never be if things continue the way they are.

“And how is Jongin?” Luhan couldn’t help but ask.

Sehun changed his position on the chair, sitting straight and looking annoyed.

“He’s great.”

“I can imagine why.” Luhan didn’t think before saying the last sentence.

“What do you mean?” Sehun raised an eyebrow at Luhan.

Luhan took a deep breath and played with his fingers, searching for the right words to say.

“I saw him yesterday, Sehun-Ah. He wasn’t alone.”

“So?”

“So? It’s weird, Sehun. He wasn’t even wearing the ring you gave him. They didn’t seem like just friends.” Luhan said, expecting the worst reaction from Sehun.

“He’s not like that. You’re lying.”

“That wasn’t the first time. I saw him before with that same dude. I even saw him with different guys. Sehun, i know you think you’re happy with him but-”

“Where are you going with this, Luhan? What do you mean by ‘you think you’re happy’? If i’m not happy with Jongin, then who was i happy with? You?” Sehun was angry. Every single time Luhan tried to talk to him, Sehun got angry. It hurt Luhan. Cause Luhan knew everything he said would never get to Sehun.

“Sehun, no, that’s not what i meant. I just… i don’t know if Jongin is the nice guy you picture him as.”

“Luhan, i need to make something very clear to you. I love Jongin. And you can’t do anything to change that. I don’t care what you say, i’m not going to believe in you, i know him. Why can’t we just be friends without you trying to ruin my relationship with him?” Sehun said, extremely frustrated.

Luhan’s heart fell to pieces with every word of that sentence. He didn’t even bother to give Sehun one of his fake smiles, as he said:

“ You’re right. I must have seen someone else. “

I really hate it that you don’t understand me. It seems like everything i say is irrelevant to you.

I really hate all this waiting. I just wish you would come back to me, Sehun-Ah.

Just let go of him. He makes you sad, and that makes me die inside.

What does he have that i don’t?

“I wanted to understand. That’s all i wanted. To understand.” Luhan muttered. Lying on the floor, Baekhyun by his side. His friend was very much upset that Luhan’s conversation with Sehun turned into nothing but fights.

“What did you want to understand?” He asked, a frown on his face.

“What’s so special about Jongin?”

Baekhyun remained silent. He didn’t know what to say, and also, he knew his friend’s talking would go on.

“I mean, he’s obviously a total jerk, he obviously doesn’t love Sehun, at least not as much as Sehun loves him, or as much as i love Sehun. Everyone can see that, i wonder if Sehun is that stupid to be the only one who didn’t realise that yet.” Luhan said, frustrated, angry, sad, all the bad feelings he had in him.

“Luhan, i know i’m your friend, and no one wants you to get back together with Sehun more than i do, but… don’t you think it’s time to move on?” Luhan only stared blankly at Baekhyun. He knew those weren’t the best words to say at the moment, but it was alredy done. “I mean… it’s obvious that Sehun won’t listen to you. All he wants is Jongin. So just… let him. He’s the one who’s going to be crying in the end.”

“No, Baek. It’s going to be me. It’s like Sehun’s tears are linked with my tears. If he’ll be crying, i’ll be crying too.”

Sehun-Ah… why can’t i have you? I had you once. Why can’t i have you again?

He doesn’t love you, Sehun-Ah. I do. I never stopped loving you. I wish i did.

How long are you going to do this to me?

Maybe i never had you truly, Sehun-Ah…

Sehun and Luhan were lying on the bed. They liked to do this, sometimes. Just enjoy each other’s company, without much to it.

“What are you thinking about?” Luhan asked, seeing the slight smile on his boyfriend’s face.

Sehun, after a while, realised Luhan was talking to him, and his smile faded for a few seconds, only to return a little bit after. But it was a different smile, somehow, Luhan knew it.

“Oh? Nothing.”

“Tell me…”

“It’s nothing, Lulu” Sehun laughed softly, making Luhan’s heart flutter.

Luhan pouted cutely, upset.

“Why won’t you tell me stuff?”

Sehun laughed louder this time. He switched his position on the bed, staying atop of Luhan.

“I’m not hiding anything, okay?” Luhan looked at him. ‘I never said that you were’, he thought.

“Do you love me, Sehun-Ah?” He asked, fearing the answer.

Sehun remained silent for a while, like if he was thinking of something to say.

“Yeah. You know that. Don’t you?” He kissed Luhan’s cheek and smiled.

“I know…” But the pain in Luhan’s chest didn’t go away.

When you talk about him, you look happy. It’s good that you’re happy. But i know you’re not happy at all. You say you know him. I’m the one who knows him. He’s not what you think he is, Sehun-Ah…

You say you love him, you want to be with him forever, and you trust him completely. Don’t do that to yourself, Sehun-Ah…

Don’t do that to me.

Luhan was at the Bubble tea shop waiting for his order to arrive. Sehun said he would leave dance practice earlier today, and Luhan thought he would be happy with some bubble tea after work.

Apparently, Sehun thought the same, cause Luhan spotted his boyfriend stepping into the shop.

Luhan smiled. As he was about to call out to him, he realised Sehun was not alone. He had a guy with him. He was handsome. As handsome as Sehun. As handsome as Luhan would never be.

Luhan felt something really bad inside of him. Something like jealousy and fear mixed together.

They were smiling. They looked happy. They looked like they didn’t want to be interrupted.

When his order arrived, he handed the money to the worker and smiled.

He glanced at Sehun, sitting on a table, facing that guy. He was smiling and laughing way more than necessary, and sometimes his head rested on his hand, while his elbows rested on the table, and he just stared at the guy, with a look Luhan knew. Sehun used to look at Luhan like that.

Luhan shook his head. ‘It can’t be’, he thought.

He decided to shake off that feeling. He grabbed his order and walked out of the shop as subtly as he could.

Your friends all know him. Everyone does.

Why don’t you, Sehun-Ah?

They say love is blind. Oh, baby, you’re so blind.

“Hello?” Luhan heard the voice that belonged to the one he loved, it sounded husky and apparently he had been sleeping.

“Sehun-Ah? Where are you?” Luhan asked in a soft tone.

“Hm? Home. Why?” The answer made Luhan upset. Sehun said it like if it was obvious. He forgot.

“Tao told me to call you. He asked if you’re coming to his party.”

“Oh… i wanted to. I was going to go, but Jongin said that i can’t, so…” Sehun clicked his tongue.  

Luhan couldn’t believe what he heard. The power Jongin had over Sehun was absurd and it was starting to get out of hand.  

“What are you doing?” Sehun laughed at the other end of the line. “Stop! Jongin! I’m- Luhan, i gotta go.”

“Wait-” Luhan tried to say something, but Sehun was alredy gone.

 He looked at the phone in his hands with a look of disbelief. The conversation of moments ago was so ridiculous in so many possible ways, that it seemed like it wasn’t even real.

“So, what did he say?” Tao asked as he approached Luhan.

“He’s not coming” A disappointed face appeared Tao’s face immediately. “He said he’s… busy.” It wasn’t a lie. Sehun was surely busy now.

Sehun-Ah, you deserve all of the best. Expensive cars, beautiful clothes, fancy restaurants. They all suit you well.

But that bastard beside you... he doesn’t.

His smiles are fake, you can clearly see it. He brushes your hair softly, but he’s thinking about someone else. I know. How dare he?

Sehun and Jongin. They were fighting. Sehun was crying, on his knees, hiding his eyes with his hands closed into fists. Jongin seemed extremely annoyed and irritated.

“How could you?! I believed in you! I trusted you! And that’s what i get in return?!” Sehun yelled for the world to hear.

“Stop screaming like that, Sehun, its annoying!” Jongin’s voice was also loud.

“Annoying?! You said you loved me, you said you would be with me! And now i’m annoying?!”

“If you stopped yelling like a crazy , then maybe i could reconsider all that!” Jongin turned to face the wall, running a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down.

Sehun was shaking. The tears couldn’t stop falling.

 Luhan couldn’t move. He couldn’t go and punch Jongin’s face, or hug Sehun. He didn’t know why. But he felt happy. Finally Sehun had realised.

“I’m going out. Call me when you’re ready to have a normal conversation.” Jongin opened the door, and was ready to get out, but Sehun screamed ‘no’, got up to his feet in a second, and hugged Jongin from the back.

“Please don’t go…” He begged in a small and weak voice. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please stay.”

Jongin turned around and caressed Sehun’s hair. Sehun hid his face in the crook of Jongin’s neck, sobbing quietly.

“I’ll stay.” Sehun looked at him. “Sorry… i love you.”

“I love you too.” Jongin held Sehun’s face and kissed his lips.

Luhan opened his eyes. It was a nightmare.

Luhan’s heart ached. He knew it was a nightmare, but he knew if that happened in real life, it wouldn’t be different.  

That scene resembled a lot a scene that happened in the past. It was almost the same thing with Luhan and Sehun. But Luhan’s version didn’t have a good ending.

Sehun’s version didn’t too. Sehun just didn’t know.

 Please look at me, Sehun-Ah… why can’t you realise that i’m your love? Why are you the only one who doesn’t know?

Walking down the street i saw your man. You were beside him, and you looked happy.

Maybe you are truly happy. Maybe i’m wrong.

Maybe the one who couldn’t make you happy was me.

You saw me. You smiled. It wasn’t the smile i wanted, but i smiled back.

I walked away.

But just for now.

It doesn’t matter if that bastard has you, i will always be waiting for you, Sehun-Ah.