(It’s a dream, I tell myself over and over again. It’s a dream and I’ve already woken up but I try to go back to that dream, over and over again.)

I stare at the ceiling, counting the points. It was bordering on midnight and still, I was awake. Tomorrow’s the big day; tomorrow’s the day I go to the amusement park with Kimi. We go to the amusement park as a duo, Minah and Kimi, annually – or sometimes, more. This year, we got free tickets from our volunteer place, and so did everyone else that volunteered – including Myungsoo.

The last time I stayed up – or rather, pulled an all nighter – was when Myungsoo breathe out a let’s break up over the phone. I feel the rush of the fabricated cold air as it tangles itself between my fingers. Break up, such grotesque words. The tears slowly dried up as it carried itself with the air. It was sudden; it was brusque, but not uncalled for. Yet, it hurts just the same.

I’ll be seeing Myungsoo tomorrow; how I’m supposed to react tomorrow if I see him. Are my words suppose to get tangle in my throat, or am I suppose to stare awkwardly at the sky while everyone stares. I shrug. I just know that it’ll hurt, a lot.

It also hurts to know that I can’t let go, even after a month. The pain’s still raw, it hurts so much.

(An excerpt from the first part of the story.)