Chapter Four

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Chaerin doesn’t look up from the carpet in Sandara’s room as she tells her what happened tonight. Even without looking she can picture the disapproving look on Sandara’s face as she hears about the kiss. Neither of them says anything when Chaerin finishes talking.

Sandara sighs and puts a hand on Chaerin’s shoulder ˝What are you going to do now?˝

Chaerin looks up from the white fluffy carpet. ˝I don’t know,˝ her voice is barely above a whisper and her eyes are filled with tears once again as she talks ˝I really don’t know what to do.˝

It hurts Sandara to see her best friend sobbing on her bedroom floor but there is nothing she can do about it. She knew since the moment Chaerin told her about Seungri that sooner or later something like this will happen. Sandara could see from the first time she saw the two of them together that they liked each other way more than they should. She could see that they won’t have a happy ending from a fairytale and watching Chaerin crying on her bedrooms floor only proved how right she was.

˝When’s the weeding?˝ Sandara asks tossing a box of tissues to Chaerin.

˝In two weeks.˝ Chaerin answers her after wiping her eyes and calming down a little.

Sandara sits next to Chaerin and puts an arm around her best friend without saying another word.

The rest of the evening is spent watching movies and eating junk food. Sandara knows that Chaerin is still thinking about Seungri but she doesn’t comment on it. There is on point in repeating the things Chaerin already knows over and over again. It would just result in a fight neither of them wanted to have right now. Before they even notice midnight passes so Chaerin decides to sleep over.

˝Two weeks will pass before you know it.˝ Sandara says as she brings a pajama for Chaerin.

˝I hope it will.˝ Chaerin whispers.

It turns out that Sandara is right because with final exams and the weeding preparations the two weeks feel like two days and before Chaerin can even process everything she is sitting in her room and looking at the dress she bought almost a month ago. It feels like the light blue dress with a heart shaped neckline that ends two inches above her knees is mocking her at the moment.

˝Hey,˝ the door of her room open and her father peaks in ˝We are leaving in forty five minutes so hurry up.˝

Chaerin looks at her father and smiles when she sees that he himself isn’t completely ready either ˝I’ll be done in thirty minutes.˝

˝All right,˝ her father closes the door and Chaerin sighs.

Chaerin gets up from her bed and takes the dress that she was looking at the last ten minuets.    She thinks it’s comical how excited she was when she was buying it and how she almost can’t look at it right now.

 Her thoughts drift of to Seungri who is getting ready in his room across the hall. Ever since the kiss she did everything she could in order to avoid talking to him. Even if Seungri tried to start a conversation with her she would always find a way to escape from him.

Chaerin misses watching stupid shows with him. She misses Minji’s and Daesung’s bickering over every little thing. She misses Sandara nagging her about dragging her to eat lunch with Seungri and his friends when both of them know that she enjoys spending time with them. But she knows that she probably won’t experience any of those things ever again after today’s wedding.

After dressing up and putting on her make up Chaerin looks at herself in the mirror. She practices the perfect smile to show to the guests for a couple of minutes knowing that her father won’t like it if she spends the whole day frowning.

Once she is satisfied with the fake smile she whispers ˝Show time.˝

Seungri’s mother looks absolutely stunning in her wedding dress as she walks up to Chaerin’s father. Chaerin is glad her father found somebody who makes him happy. But Chaerin can’t stop herself from wishing that it was any other woman than Seungri’s mother.

Just thinking about how easier it would be if the women next to her father wasn’t the mother of her crush is enough for Chaerin to tear up a little.

Chaerin is to busy trying to stop herself from crying to notice that somebody is sitting next to her until a familiar voice speaks ˝It’s kind of pathetic when I think about it now.˝

She doesn’t dare to face Seungri knowing that holding back her tears would be imposable. ˝What’s pathetic?˝ she whispers.

˝I can’t tell you now right now. Meet me later and then we will talk.˝ Seungri doesn’t say anything else and they continue to watch the wedding.

After the wedding is over and all the guests are done congratulating them the happy couple, their family and closest friends go to the same restaurant they did two weeks ago. Chaerin’s cheeks heat up as soon as she thinks about what happened on the parking lot. She looks around in hopes of finding Seungri but she can’t spot him.

An hour passes and Chaerin still can’t find Seungri. Just like two weeks ago everybody is tipsy once again. They are telling the same stories but none of them notices it. When her father best friend starts to hold his speech Chaerin gets up and goes to the parking lot. Her hart skips a beat when she sees Seungri leaning on his uncle’s car.

˝It took you long enough,˝ Seungri jokingly says as he takes a step closer to her ˝I almost ran in there and dragged you out.˝

They look at each other for a couple of seconds until Seungri looks away and shakes his head. He chuckles but it sounds too forced to Chaerin. ˝Two weeks ago you would laugh at that.˝ he says and Chaerin can clearly hear how hurt he is.

˝Honestly,˝ Chaerin is glad that her voice doesn’t crack as she speaks ˝I feel like I’m all out of laughs right now.˝

˝I know that feeling.˝ Seungri extends his hand for Chaerin to take ˝Do you want to take a walk with me?˝

Chaerin doesn’t hesitate for a second and takes Seungri’s hand. They walk in silence and hold hands both of them thinking how this is how it should be. They should be able to do this every day but the cruel reality is that they can’t. Chaerin has the urge to cry but she holds it in not wanting to ruin her makeup and look stupid in front of Seungri. Instead she asks the question that’s been on her mind since the wedding ceremony ˝What’s pathetic?˝

The answer she receives isn’t something she expected at all. ˝I’m pathetic.˝

˝Why?˝ Chaerin asks tightening her hold on his hand.

˝I spent weeks imagining how it would feel like if you by a miracle liked me back,˝ Chaerin’s heart skips another beet as she hears the indirect confession but before she can say anything Seungri continues talking ˝And when I find out you did in fact like me I just watched as you ran away from me. I can’t even explain to you how much I want to turn back the time and stop you from running away.˝

˝It’s ok,˝ Chaerin assures him ˝I needed time to think anyway.˝

˝What did you think about?˝ Seungri looks at her and Chaerin can clearly see the tears in his eyes.

˝Us.˝ she answers not looking away.

˝What about us.˝ Seungri asks tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

It’s quiet for a couple of minutes because both of them know what she is going to say next. Chaerin looks at the ground knowing that she won’t be able to say it if she is looking Seungri in the eyes. ˝There is no way that we can ever be together,˝ Chaerin closes her eyes trying to stop her tears from falling down.

Before Chaerin even realizes what’s happening Seungri cups her cheeks with his hands and lifts up her head so she is looking at him once again. ˝Why are you crying?˝ Seungri asks and Chaerin fights back the urge to ask why he is crying.

˝Because…˝ Chaerin sobs unable to finish but both of them know what she wants to say. Because I want us to be together.

˝I want nothing more than to be able to call myself your boyfriend and that’s not possible.˝ Seungri smiles sadly ˝But I want to be selfish just one time if you would let me.˝

˝What do you want to do?˝

Instead of receiving an answer to her question Seungri leans down and kisses her. For a moment they forget where they are and why they are here but as soon as they pull away to catch their breaths reality hits both of them. They stare at each other while Seungri doesn’t move his hands away from Chaerin’s cheeks.

˝Thank you,˝ Seungri smiles blinking away the tears in his eyes ˝For letting me do that.˝

˝Thank you for doing it.˝ Chaerin smiles back at him.

He moves his hands away from her face and they walk back to the restaurant while fixing their appearance so nobody asks any questions. They don’t say a word to each other for the rest of the night. Both of them know that there is nothing else they can do. It’s over for them.

There is no happy ending in their story.

A/N: The last chapter is here and there is only an epilogue left. It will probably be up in one or two days. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I loved writing it. In the next A/N I will talk about why I decided to write this story so please look forward to it