And here's the way out. A very obvious way out! Jintaek was about to go to Japan for two weeks. I asked him, if he could take me with him and - voila! - I'm going with him. Two weeks without you. Two weeks to learn how to not love you. Two weeks... is it even enough? I hope so. I wonder, if the boys were surprized not seeing me and Jintaek, when they came to the studio today and were told that he took me to Japan. Who knows... We'll see. What can I say about Japan? It is amazing! I've never been to such a cool place before. Everything here is like soaked with originality, with a new prespective, a way to see everything from a different angle. A week has passed. I found myself thinking less about you, foxey-eyed. Oh, I feel so good. I wish I could stay here longer. Even though Juntaek is always working and I'm alone here, I'm not lonely or bored. How could you even be bored here? I wonder, how would you react, if a cute japanese bartender was flirting with like today, right in front of yout eyes, huh? Yeah, everything was so nice!...  And then... At night... Jintaek came. He was obviously drunk. Whether he was angry or not, I don't know. But I even got scared, when he lashed out and broke a vase with flowers. I didn't see him. The door to my room was closed, but it wasn't for long. He threw it open with with a ferocity and looked at me, that my my heart shrank into in little ball. At that moment, I desperately wished to be with my boys. He yelled. At me. I could hardly make out what he was saying... Then he grabbed my hand and, slamming our bodies together, began frantically kissing me. I tried to break free, but I was so weak. I screamed, but he covered my mouth with his hand. I cried and he kissed my tears away, so he won't see the pain reflecting in them. Then... God, it hurt so much. He didn't care about anything at that moment other then - for the lack of a better word - ing the girl, that could do nothing to fight back. I was clutching the sheet in my hand so hard, that my hand begun to hurt, praying for him to come to his senses. And I thought only of you, my dear. I was certain, that not you, not any of our mutual friends would ever do anything like it. I... I was.. My body felt lifeless. When he was done, I jumped from the bed, threw my clothes on myself hastily and ran out of the hotel room. I heard him yelling after me, that the plane was already waiting for me... How did he know?! I don't remember how I got to the airport or how I found the right airplane. I don't remember anything. Already taking off, I texted you, letting you know, that I'm coming back. Turning off the phone, I was looking  through the porthole down on the ground beneath. I was wishing to turn back time and not go to Japan. Or even better would have been not accepting his offer to live at his place. Thank God, none of you went to the airport to meet me, otherwise I would have told everything straight away. Coming out of the airport building, I wondered where should I go. Back to Jintaek's place? No way in hell... I went to the studio. There I could pick up my guitar and forget about reality. That was the only way for me to forget about the feelings that were eating me alive. But I couldn't take it for long. Fell down on the couch and fell asleep... crying my eyeballs out.

How does it feel, to be different from me? 
Are we the same? 
How does it feel, to be different from me? 
Are we the same? ©