So here's a letter I wish Baekhyun could read, a part of my feelings are being poured out here. I just need to let it out somehow in a way.

Sorry dear readers for the disruption of the fics.

Dear Byun Baekhyun, My Love, My Light, My Everything

So I heard you found your other half. That's exciting really! Even though it hurts to admit but I gotta admit it somehow that I'm happy for you. You found your source of happinness. You have found love and I hope you cherish it and hold onto it because i want you to feel the love that all of us felt from you. It was sudden because I never expected this from you baekhyuniee ~ I thought you werent ready for relationships. You made me think that Exo is number one, we're you're number one. But I guess you've found some other number one. I hate to admit that I feel betrayed and lied. Because I always thought you're singing career comes before anything else.

Hey remember when I first watched History and I fell in love straight away with Exo. I didnt have a bias at the time. There were so many of you I had a hard time choosing, hahaha. And oh you were all so good looking I cant help but squeal all the time. 

Then I heard you're voice. That angel like voice. It was beautiful. It was mesmerizing. You left me in front of my computer for days and days just listening to your voice. I'd sleep listening to you sing, you were my lullaby baekiee ^^ I'd wake up to you singing, I wouldnt go a day without listening to your voice bacon ah. It was too beautiful and I was deffinitely In love with it.

That's when I had my first exo bias.

Byun Baekhyun you were my first Exo bias.

Then came Kim Jongin. ( Not gona talk about that y beast because this letter is for you Baekhyun)

I don't know why I'm so upset, just so you know I cried when I heard the news, I still am, silly me. I'm not even important to you, wasted a lot of tears on you. If only you know how much I'm hurting because of this but I'm trying my best not to be selfish.

You need to be happy Baekhyunee.

I need to see that beautiful smile all the time.

It must be stressfull right my dear with all the issue about Kris and all the bashing from the fans. I wish I can take the pain away from you, another pain on myself wouldnt hurt I'm already numb. I wish I can be the one to say "Everything will be okay, you can depend on me. I'm here" But that would never happen. And you have her now for that.

Baekhyun my love, please don't cry. I know now is a very tough time for you but stay strong, you're a strong man. Remember pain is temporary. You can make it through this, I believe in you I always have. I'm always here by your side. Even if you can't see me I will always be here no matter what.

Ignore all those negative comments they dont matter at all. You're all that matters. Please I do not want to see you get hurt, I never want to see you cry, that would be the last thing I want (This includes Kai)

So maybe I should at least tell you how I truly feel.

Where do I start, I'm hurt. Truly am. I feel as if you have ripped off my heart out my chest and threw it onto the floor and it's in pieces. My heart is made out of glass baekhyun ah, I don't take heartbreak very well. Eventhough I'm okay on the outside faking smiles, I am contrast on the inside. My heart is crying drowning in my own tears. My mind all over the place thinking of all the possibilty of what will happen to exo from now on. 

Baekhyun ah, I'm not crying in misery just because of you. I'm crying, in pain thinking about what is the future of Exo. What will happen to our fandom? will we grow stronger? will we loose some of them? All these possibilities I'm thinking about is eating me from the inside.

Nothing will ever be the same again. I know because I was once a Shawol, after the Jonghyun Incident everything was just not the same. And I'm afraid this will happen to Exo.

My dear we're still new. Our fandom are just babies. These sort of news will tear us apart. Why are you so selfish! 

How are we to cope with all these sorrows? I hate you sometimes Baekhyun ah 

One thing for sure, I will not leave Exo. I will forever be by Exo's side even with one member left in the group. I will not go astray. You will always see me here supporting all of you. Because my love for Exo is strong as ever and it can never be bend. it's Bullet proof. I will be here.

Byun Baekhyun, focus on your Musical. Break a leg babe! If I was there I would be the loudest fan roaring for you my dear. Hey don't get too distracted with your love life, remember us here all who has been a support system for you since the start. 

So my dear lovely flower boy, I will forever be your FLOWER. Even if the flower by your arms is more beautiful than this flower. This flower will never leave you.

I've lost my light.

The light that will guide me home. The light that appears at the end of the tunnel. I have lost it. 

My Baekhyunee, I may not love you the same way as I did before but my support for you is as strong.

I'm still forcing myself to accept you and Taeyeon. I'm sorry baekhyun-ah, I will not get attached. I will distance myself from you and I will support you from that distance.

I think it's for the best.

Goodbye Byun Baekhyun, please remember that I love you. 

Forever seems impossible but i will try