Hongbin and Wonshik's relationship is like walking on a tight rope. Like Icarus flying too close to the sun. And Wonshik is Hongbin's sun. Hongbin is Wonshik's.

 

 

Maybe it's better to stay away than get burned. It hurts bad eitherway.

 

 

Break times and car rides are about secret glances and resisting urges to throw one's arms around the other's body. Wonshik is pleading for the seconds and Hongbin is pushing all the words away. He wouldn't listen, and he wouldn't speak. He doesn't want to go back to Wonshik. Hongbin is not enough. He's never enough for him.

 

 

He knew he wasn't perfect.

 

 

"Wonnie~"

 

The leader's coo ticked Hongbin off. They have been spending an awful lot of time with each other since the incident happened. He doesn't like it.

 

 

 

But then, he was the one who pushed Wonshik away.

 

 

 

He wanted to hug Wonshik; cuddle with him until he falls asleep in his arms, be there when he's tired and lull him to sleep. Yet he can't.

 

He is the sun, his sun, and he doesn't deserve someone like Hongbin.

 

 

Days turned to weeks and they haven't said a word to each other. It surely is devastating for both parties. But maybe it's better this way.

 

 

"Why wouldn't you talk to me?"

 

 

"Hyung, you wouldn't understand"

 

 

"Maybe I would understand if you would talk to me"

 

 

Wonshik's mumbled words made Hongbin shot his head up. It was a cold night, but Wonshik's voice is colder. He wouldn't understand. Of course he wouldn't. He loves Hongbin too much to see his flaws, his problems won't even be problems to him. And to top all that, he's the most important member of the group. He can rap, sing, he composes songs and he dances well.

 

He does well in everything. Too well.

 

 

"Do you think we could work this out if you keep on ignoring me?" Wonshik stepped closer, he stepped back, hanging his head low.

 

 

"Hongbin, talk to me"

 

 

He pleaded again, cupping the younger man's cheeks to look at him. He was angry and infuriated until he felt the dampness in his palms. Hongbin has been crying. All this time he thought that he's the only one holding on to this relationship. It has been hard for Hongbin too.

 

 

"Binnie"

 

 

Wonshik's words were soft, and warm. Like a cup of hot cocoa on a winter night, warming Hongbin from the inside. That's when he cried, out loud and Wonshik wrapped his arms around him. The atmosphere is gloomy, beneath broken sobs and whimpers, with Hongbin clinging to Wonshik as if his dear life depended on it.

 

 

That night, Wonshik got what he wanted - Hongbin sleeping on his bed, his arms wrapped around his waist.

 

 

Sleeping soundly, soundly.

 

 

 

The sunlight passed through the window, illuminating the whole room with all its glory, reflecting through the bed where Wonshik is alone, still in his covers, hands on his hair, sobbing and crying, first thing in the morning, like a mad man.

 

 

On the bed, a few centimeters away from him, lies a note, crumpled and tattered, ink smeared with tear stains.

 

 

‘I’m sorry Hyung’, the note says. And he knows who left it, but he's nowhere to be found.

 

 

He barged into Hongbin's room only to see his closet, wide open, empty. He opened the other members' rooms, looking for the owner of the note but he's not there.

 

 

Hongbin's not there.

 

 

"Wonshik, it's gonna be fine. We're going to find Hongbin."

 

 

Hakyeon's words sounded warm but not warm enough to take away the coldness Ravi has been experiencing. Even the hot chocolate that Taekwoon made for him isn't enough. He needs Hongbin's warmth. But he's not here.

 

 

Unfocused and puffy eyes defined Wonshik for days, weeks, until he lost count. Turned out that Hongbin asked the management for a vacation he desperately needs and they granted it to him, as well as all the members. They don't know where he went.

 

 

"Wonnie, dinner's ready~"

 

Hakyeon was cheerful, barging into Wonshik's room, until he saw the younger man wrapped in a blanket, slightly shivering and faint sobs heard in the background.

 

 

"Wonshik..."

 

A gentle tug on the sheets and Hakyeon's footsteps sounding closer made Wonshik choke back a sob, wiping away the tears panickly. He doesn't want the leader to see him like this.

 

 

"Stop crying..."

 

 

A weight on the mattress.

 

 

"Wonshik"

 

 

Arms snaking around his waist.

 

 

"I'm here..."

 

 

A swift movement, turning Wonshik's body to face him.

 

 

"...for you"

 

 

A few breaths shared until the older guy leaned closer to Wonshik's lips, savoring the moment as his lips moved with his. Aroused moans are spilling from both of their mouth, heating up the kiss. It was soft at first, until the gentle lip dancing turned into biting.

 

 

Wonshik knows this is wrong.

 

 

Both of them forgot dinner.

 

 

Wonshik, for a while, forgot Hongbin.

 

---

hi use a lot of spaces orz

and my chapters are really short i'm sorry :<

comments are highly appreciated weeee <3

also, thank you fx5suju15 and Frostbitten201 for upvoting <365