Jongdae paced the room nervously while Baekhyun sat on his bed with his head in his hands, and Minseok sat next to him, rubbing his back. Baekhyun sniffed as he looked up to Minseok. “I’m sorry for getting you two in potential trouble.”

Minseok smiled softly. “The smile on your face – and on Chanyeol’s – is well worth anything Fate could do to us now.”

Baekhyun didn’t fake a smile as he looked back down. The two remained in their silence, drowning out Jongdae’s constant worrying.

-------

A knock on their door surprised all three of them, as though they weren’t expecting it. Jongdae stared at the door with a horrified look; Baekhyun didn’t look up. Minseok walked toward the door slowly and opened it. Two large men dressed completely in black stood on the other side.

“We are here for Byun Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun looked upward.

Jongdae and Minseok glanced to him as he stood slowly and gave them both a small smile.

Baekhyun walked toward the door slowly. The silence was deafening.

He stopped in front of the men and gave a sigh before waving with an uncertain look on his face. Baekhyun turned to walk away from the house, but one of the men spoke up.

“Oh… Jongdae? Minseok?” The other two looked up. “The council would like to see you two as well.”

-------

The men had put chains on Baekhyun’s wrists to restrain him and threatened to tighten them periodically, especially whenever he started getting hard to control.

Baekhyun wanted to keep his composure while the guards were leading him to the council room, but he also wanted to shout at them for taking Jongdae and Minseok too. Baekhyun didn’t want them to get in trouble – he was the only one that had done anything wrong.

The council doors opened with a loud groan.

Baekhyun was pushed into the room and fell to his knees. “Byun Baekhyun?” Baekhyun shuddered at the sound of his name and flinched when the chains clenched on the skin on his wrists.

He glanced upward, met by the emotionless face of Luhan. Behind him sat everyone else on the council.

The large, ivory pillars and gold drapes on the walls of the room seemed more daunting than they were the previous times that Baekhyun had come to the council room. The silence in the large, empty circular room made the hairs on the back of Baekhyun’s neck stand up as his eyes locked onto Luhan’s.

Luhan’s face remained hard as he spoke softly. “This is the third time you’ve been in this room since becoming a guardian angel.”

Baekhyun stared at Luhan silently as Jongdae and Minseok walked up to either side of Baekhyun.

A voice from behind Luhan boomed. “Do the three of you know why you’re here?” Jongdae and Minseok nodded. Baekhyun’s eyes were still fixated on Luhan’s. There was something in them that he couldn’t understand.

“A punishment has yet to be determined for all of you, but –”

A slight look of worry and panic crossed Luhan’s face as he blinked and looked away. Baekhyun’s ears finally caught up to the conversation. “Wait, for all of us?” Baekhyun asked as he shuffled to his feet. Minseok and Jongdae glanced to him as he tried to step forward. “The two of them don’t deserve a punishment, or at least that’s one as extensive as mine – they haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Baekhyun, there’s–”

“No, there’s no justification for this! I’m the only one that did anything against your rules. I pressured them into it, so they don’t–”

“Byun Baekhyun!” Baekhyun winced and stumbled in pain as the restraints tightened on his wrists, but he kept speaking.

The guards stepped forward to silence him, but a woman from the council waved her hand as if to stop them.

Another person from the council shouted, “Boy, your punishment will get worse if you continue to speak.”

“Do whatever you want to me! I don’t care! Do you want my wings?!” Baekhyun shouted as he turned around, showing his back to the council as he spread out his wings and bent over, giving them the perfect view of his outstretched feathers. “Take them! Rip them off!”

“Baekhyun, please…” Luhan pleaded softly, but the girl from the council stood.

“No… let him speak.” Baekhyun glanced up to the girl, who smiled a little. “I want to hear him speak.”

Baekhyun stood up straight and turned around quickly, blinking as a he took a step back. He opened his mouth to say something, but he just mumbled awkwardly, “Just please… don’t hurt my friends…”

Another person stood and said, “Actually, we’re done here. The council is going to convene and discuss this to decide your punishment.”

The guards tugged on Baekhyun’s chains to pull him and the others out of the room. Baekhyun took another glance at Luhan’s distressed expression before he was shoved out the door.

-------

“What did you just do?” Jongdae hissed as he continued pacing the hallway. They had been out here for at least five minutes, and none of them had the guts to speak until Jongdae broke the silence. “You didn’t have to freak out like that!”

“It just… It just sort of happened…”

“Baekhyun, you didn’t have to fight for us – we already knew something would happen,” Minseok added.

“But I don’t want you guys to get hurt. You don’t need this…”

“But now your punishment is going to be worse and –”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t need you getting hurt for something stupid that I did.”

Minseok opened his mouth to speak, but Luhan poked his head out of the door. “Will the three of you enter?”

Minseok, Jongdae, and Baekhyun glanced to each other before following Luhan into the room.

-------

Baekhyun took a deep breath as he closed the door behind him. “Is it just you?” Luhan nodded softly, turning his back to the three of them as he walked to the middle of the room. “I thought the entire council would tell me.”

“It’s more of my own matter anyway. Fate gave the order… I just have to carry it out.” Luhan paused and turned back to the three of them, eyes glancing over each of their heads before settling on Baekhyun. “Because yours is the most extensive, Baekhyun, I’m going to tell you first.”

Baekhyun swallowed thickly. “There’s no need for any formalities you may have prepared. Just tell me about it.” Luhan gave him a concerned glance, but Baekhyun reassured him, “It’s fine.”

“No, Baek, it’s not fine. You won’t be fine.”

Baekhyun cringed. “Am I being put out of Haven?”

Luhan frowned. “No.”

The response caught Baekhyun by surprise, but he wasn’t able to speak as Luhan spoke softly instead. “There’s been a meeting about what to do with you…” Luhan paused as he walked toward Baekhyun and frowned. “I tried to vouch for you, but I couldn’t do much... I told them that you were such a great asset to my team and how irreplaceable you were and that it was just incidents with Park Chanyeol that got you in trouble.

“Fate said she realized that, so she wouldn’t ban you.” Luhan paused as if to calm himself down. “She said that she has to take away the root of the problem or something you value the most, and in this case it’s convenient for her because they’re the same thing… and I know it’s something that is going to destroy you inside.” He glanced to Baekhyun with an apprehensive frown and spoke cautiously. “I… I have to erase your memories of Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun stared at Luhan in a mix between horror, shock, and denial. “B-but I thought–”

“They decided to do something different.” Luhan quickly looked away. “It seems as though something as simple as banning you wouldn’t be enough. Because your contact with Chanyeol is such a distraction to you and a hindrance to Fate’s plans, we have to do this.” He paused. “Not to mention, you shouldn’t have your memories of him anyway.”

Baekhyun stared at Luhan before sliding to his knees. “B… bu-but… but…”

“The erasing of your memory will occur tomorrow morning at sunrise.” Luhan cut him off quickly, obviously not able to deal with his friend’s pain. “You will also no longer be Mr. Park’s guardian angel. Fate will assign you to a different position.”

Luhan didn’t meet his eyes as he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun stared at Luhan before dropping his eyesight to the floor, and as it unfocused, he put his fingers to his temples and shook his head slowly. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.

Luhan paused before he turned to Minseok and Jongdae and said, “The council has decided that Baekhyun will shoulder the majority of the punishment. With a potential job change and the loss of his memory, Fate decided that it would be better than kicking him out and losing someone who seems so valuable.” He took a deep breath. “Even so, you two will not be punished, but you must know that you cannot exchange items with anyone again.” They nodded. Luhan continued. “To be sure that Baekhyun will not gain back his lost memory, you two will also have your memories of everything dealing with Chanyeol erased as well, also so you two don’t shoulder the burden of… the past.” Minseok nodded slowly, but Jongdae turned to Baekhyun who was still on the floor, gaping at the tile, too shocked to actually cry. Jongdae watched as a single tear slowly rolled down his cheek.

Jongdae bit his lip. Maybe having his wings ripped off would have been better than this.

Jongdae looked back up to Luhan and whispered, “Is there nothing I can do…?”

Luhan shook his head slowly. “Fate has decided.”

Jongdae’s eyesight lowered back to Baekhyun. “You’re pretty much killing him as it is.”

Luhan looked away. “I know.”

Baekhyun remained silent, still staring at the floor.

A couple of seconds of near silence ensued.

Luhan knelt down to Baekhyun and held his face in his hands. “Baek… I can’t change your sentence, and I apologize for that… but is there anything I can do to lessen the pain?”

Baekhyun’s eyesight rose slowly and barely met Luhan’s eyes. His voice came out in a soft, shaky whisper. “Can I see him one more time?”

“I can’t allow you to go down… but I can you to The Observatory.”

-------

Baekhyun sat at the edges of the clouds of The Observatory, watching Chanyeol and his mother. He had forgotten it was Christmas. He noticed his own mother was there, singing carols along with them. Chanyeol’s smile was heavenly. It was brighter than the star on top of their tree and the lights strung around their house.

Baekhyun whispered softly, “This is the happiest I’ve seen him. That’s the brightest he’s smiled in a year.”

Luhan put his hand on his shoulder and sat down next to Baekhyun. “Because of you.”

Baekhyun’s eyes were downcast.

Luhan sighed. “I’m not trying to reprimand you because what you did was wonderful… The smile on his face and how happy he is…” Luhan glanced to Baekhyun and said softly, “… But that’s not what a guardian angel is sent to do.”

Baekhyun didn’t respond.

“… Why did you do it in the first place? Especially when I know you were warned.”

In response, Baekhyun whispered, “I thought I was fighting off demons.”

Luhan turned to him and spoke slowly. “Pain is a demon.” Baekhyun glanced to him. “Loss is a demon. Struggle, heartache, sorrow… those are demons. Love… love is not, even if you perceive it to be–”

“Well then why?” Baekhyun wanted to shout. “Why is it holding me back, and why can’t I find happiness or why… why is love a demon to me? Why will love always be my demon?”

Luhan’s eyes strayed away from Baekhyun.

Baekhyun frowned and looked back to Chanyeol. “That’s why I don’t understand. I don’t understand demons, or I don’t understand love…” He paused. “This wasn’t even true love! This type of love could cause pain or suffering. Aren’t those demons? Shouldn’t I protect him from that?” Baekhyun brought his hands to his head. “Chanyeol didn’t even want Kris–”

“I know, but you’re not a matchmaker, Baekhyun!” Luhan quickly paused to compose himself as he noticed Baekhyun’s wide eyes, startled from his outburst. “And you know that. We both know that you did this because you didn’t want Chanyeol to suffer, but you also wanted him to notice you. To love you. What you did was directly against the twins’ orders anyways.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips and drew his knees up to his chest. “I’m supposed to listen to my heart because my eyes can deceive me, right? Well I don’t know what to believe anymore…”

“But you’re not supposed to let your own feelings corrupt your logic. Maybe Chanyeol was supposed to learn from this experience. Maybe Fate had something planned to do with the result of this. Rules are rules, and love is love, whether you disagree with it or not, so you have no right to mess with it or ruin it.” Baekhyun’s arms tightened around his legs as he hid his face in his knees. Luhan sighed. “So if love isn’t a demon, what were you fighting?”

Baekhyun paused before opting to answer. “… Fate.” Luhan blinked curiously as Baekhyun uncoiled himself from his position with a sigh. “Don’t you ever get an urge to fight the system? When there’s something you disagree with, don’t you want to make others understand?” A small smile graced his features. “Maybe that’s what love is. A system that no one understands. Maybe Fate, or Destiny, or even the matchmakers don’t understand. They just blindly do it.” Baekhyun closed his eyes. “Maybe that’s why sometimes I just can’t explain the crazy things I’d do or why I don’t care what I’ll lose for love.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Luhan’s lips before turning into a pout. “Love, huh?”

Baekhyun glanced upward and nodded slowly.

The other guardian glanced away. “I’m sorry, but I’m about to make you forget about your love.”

Baekhyun turned to look back down to Chanyeol. “It’s okay. Because I know he’ll be thinking about me until the day he dies too. And maybe just a bit after then.”

Luhan laughed softly. “I don’t think Fate realized what she was dealing with when she put you two together and when she tried to separate you.”

Jongdae watched them from afar before deciding to return home. While Baekhyun was busy watching Chanyeol for the last time, Jongdae had some unfinished business to take care of.

---------------

“Byun Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun glanced upward silently. He’d been waiting in dread for this moment.

Luhan and a tall woman stood across the waiting room, standing by an open door. 

Baekhyun glanced to Minseok, who gave him a pat on the back and a small comforting smile. Baekhyun stood slowly. His legs felt like lead as he dragged himself toward the open door.

The walk seemed to take forever.

Luhan and the woman ushered him into the stark white room with blinding white lights and led him toward a small white chair. Baekhyun sat down in the chair slowly, and the girl placed small electrodes on his temples and strapped him into the chair. Luhan stayed by the door with a frown on his face as the woman finished.

“Ready?”

Luhan raised his hand in protest as he walked toward Baekhyun.

He pulled two small pieces of paper out of his pocket and handed them to Baekhyun. Baekhyun glanced up. “I know I’m not a messenger,” Luhan started, “but I felt like it’d be the easiest for me to give them to you so… here.”

Baekhyun took both pieces of paper out of Luhan’s hands and opened the first one.

‘Baekhyun-ssi,

This isn’t protocol, but I couldn’t help but write to you.

I understand why you’re in this situation, and I want you to know two things. First, I want to apologize. Perhaps it was an error on my and Fate’s part which forced you to keep your memories of the past life. Perhaps it was an unplanned gift. I have no authority to stop this punishment from happening to you. I fought with Fate about it, but it seems that it just has to be done. You know the rules – what Fate says stands.

Also, I want you to know that I understand where you’re coming from. You’re not alone in this. I’ve seen your relationship with Chanyeol blossom. It was beautiful and pure. It was one of the ones that I thought would be perfect. Too perfect. It was a mistake to allow your death to come too soon. It was a mistake that ruined something that shouldn’t have been tainted. I wanted Fate to fix it, but she had other plans.

I thought it was amazing to watch you interact with Chanyeol again after a year. I thought it was beautiful when you stood up for your friends. You were shouldering a burden that you knew you couldn’t carry alone. Your wings trembled as you held them out in front of us... I could see it. There are never happy endings for everyone. You probably know that better than anyone. I’m so proud of you for giving up everything for Chanyeol’s happiness. You’ve always had this sense of protecting everyone, haven’t you? You’ve been a guardian angel even before you became one. You have an unmatchable courage that I couldn’t help but want to protect.

When you spread your wings for us, all I saw was beauty, purity, and something irreplaceable. I don’t want to lose that.

Baekhyun-ssi, if I may, when this ordeal ends, can I offer you a position as my right hand guardian angel?

Your response needn’t be rushed. And by the way, that ring Chanyeol gave you is beautiful. You’re lucky Fate didn’t see it to take it away. I would have let you keep it anyway.

--  Destiny’

Baekhyun stared at the letter in silence before glancing down to the ring. He spun it around on his finger, feeling whole. It was as though Chanyeol was there right beside him to tell him that he didn’t need to worry because everything would be okay. With a deep breath, Baekhyun opened the other letter. It was colorful and definitely not formal. In fact, it wasn’t a letter at all. Notes were scribbled on each part of the page in different colors.

‘Baek, I’m going to kill you for taking our punishment like that. You’re the bestest best friend I could ever ask for, and I don’t ever want you to forget that! I love ya, Baek! And I’ll always be standing right by your side. I don’t want you to shoulder this alone.’ – Jongdae

‘Baek, you ought to know how proud of you that I am. You’re so amazing, and I love you to death. And I want to apologize again for ruining your chances with Chanyeol in life. This was all my fault, and I’m so sorry you don’t even know. Baekhyun, I’m always on your side. Nothing can stop that. Okay?’ – Minseok (Xiumin) ^_^

‘Baekhyun, fighting! Before you go, know that Chanyeol’s happier than I’ve ever seen him before. I think that’s truly remarkable. I’m proud of you, you little weirdo. I’ll miss working beside you.’ – Panda-face Tao

‘Baekhyun, we’re going to get through this together, okay? Don’t regret this now because everyone’s cheering for you.’ – Sehun

‘Baekkie, you’re my hero <3’ – Yixing

‘Baekhyun I tried. I’m sorry. I wanted to get you out of this so badly but you make it so damn hard sometimes. We’ll make it up to you. We’ll always be beside you. We’re your friends, Baek. Never forget that.’ – Luhan

 Baekhyun didn’t look up.

“Baekhyun… Baek, look at me.” Baekhyun took a small breath before glancing upward, and Luhan sighed, frowning to him. “I like you. I really like you, and you’ve been through a lot of , so I don’t want to do this, but I have to.”

Baekhyun looked away. “I understand.”

Luhan furrowed his eyebrows together and whined, “Why are you so damn compliant? This is making it so much harder to punish you.”

Baekhyun looked up with a grimace on his face. “But even if I said something, it wouldn’t make a difference now, would it?” Luhan paused before he bit his lip and looked away.

Baekhyun sighed, glancing downward as he responded, “It’s just weird to think of how much time I put into him noticing me… All my efforts… wasted…” He looked back up to Luhan. “I don’t want to be compliant. I don’t want this to happen. I don’t want to forget Chanyeol, and I don’t want him to forget me.” His frown deepened as he sighed and finished, “But I did it, so I have to deal with it, and I know that…”

Baekhyun looked back down to the letters and muttered, “So then why is it so hard for me to cope with this? Why does it seem like everyone’s congratulating me for doing something so wrong…? Is what I did wrong? It felt so right when it happened, and I just can’t…”

Luhan glanced back to Baekhyun and answered, “Because you’re amazing, Baekhyun. Destiny loved you back when you were in the council room. She was fighting just as hard as I was. Everyone knows why you did it. Everyone was secretly pushing for you to do it, but we were all so afraid of the consequences. We all wanted you and Chanyeol to have your fairytale ending. Everyone’s proud of you for standing up to a system that we’ve all wanted to lash out against for you.” Luhan paused and whispered, “And I can’t stress enough how much I want you to feel like a hero for doing so. Do you understand that?”

Baekhyun looked up and nodded slowly.

Luhan sighed before frowning as he knelt down to Baekhyun’s height and softly kissed his forehead. “So please…” he mumbled as he drew away, “please don’t hate me for this.”

Baekhyun’s eyesight trailed to the floor and he replied with an unconfident half-smile, “I won’t remember it enough to anyways, right?”

Luhan turned away to hide his frown.

“Selective erasing in 3… 2… 1…….”

********

Chanyeol found a note on his table when he awoke that morning.

‘Mr. Park Chanyeol,

You don’t know me, but I’ve been watching you for almost a year now.

It wasn’t by choice – that friend of yours named Baekhyun wouldn’t stop talking about you, so I kind of had to listen.

I know that you wrote letters for him, and he wrote back. Because it seems like we’re all breaking the rules now anyways, I’m going to break one too and give you the last one he didn’t destroy. He wrote it the night he returned home after meeting with you. Don’t expect another one. Treasure it. Treasure Baekhyun. Until the day you die. And after that. Please. People like that and relationships like yours only come around once in a lifetime.

• Kim Jongdae’

Chanyeol frowned to the letter wondering who this “Kim Jongdae” was, how he knew Baekhyun, and how he even got a letter from him in the first place. Chanyeol lifted the letter and found another small piece of folded paper underneath it. Taking a deep breath, Chanyeol unfolded the paper and braced himself for what he might find.

At the sight of that familiar, incredibly neat handwriting, a smile lit up Chanyeol’s face.

‘Chanyeol,

Your eyes regained that sparkle today. I liked that. Keep it, okay?

Your smile made me happy. It made me happy to know that I made you happy.

I think I’ve finally realized what it truly means to be happy. Happiness is the feeling of warmth when I’m in your arms. Happiness is that fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever I think about you and recall our best memories together. Happiness is when I find I can lose myself in your eyes and not need to worry about the future because in the present, everything’s okay. When I’m with you, everything’s okay.

Happiness is knowing that I am always yours, and you are forever mine.

As long as that ring remains on your finger, remember me. Remember our promise.

Because you’re really special to me, I just need you to know that I love you.

I love you, I love you, I love you. I want to say it a million times, but my hand will hurt if I write it too much.

Don’t worry about me. Please. Live life and be happy.

I want to thank you for everything that we did together in life, or everything that we did together past life. I want to thank you for being the best friend a guy could wish for. You’re perfection, and I want you to remember that. Don’t belittle yourself. You have to live for both of us now, so make me proud :)

Someone once told me that love can transcend lifetimes. So when we’re both gone from this world, or the next, even when we don’t remember each other anymore, love me. Love me forever. Chanyeol, let’s be reborn together. Reunited as friends or rivals, as lovers or brothers. Let’s be kings, paladins, soldiers, or peasants. Let’s be ravens or phoenixes that soar to the mountaintops, or let’s be fish or dolphins that dive to the bottom of the ocean. Let’s be wolves. Let’s be aliens. Let’s be band members. Let’s be anything we want to be. Whatever we do, let’s do it together. Promise me this. Let’s be together forever.

Thank you, Chanyeol. Thank you for loving me. Even when I wasn’t there to love anymore.

Thank you for never leaving me like you promised.

Forever… I wish… I hope…

Byun Baekhyun’

********

::A few months later::

Baekhyun sat at the edges of the clouds at The Observatory, watching as a rather tall man with black hair sat down on a bridge that crossed a small river. In his hands, he held a bouquet of white roses.

Baekhyun gave a small smile. He always liked white roses.

The man kicked his legs back and forth, splashing the water with his toes as he slipped one of the roses out from the bouquet and set the others down next to him. He twirled the flower between his fingers before he carefully pulled one petal from the rose and gave it a smile.

“He loves me.”

Baekhyun blinked as the man dropped the petal into the river and watched it flow away, gently carried with the current before he pulled off another.

“He loves me not.”

He dropped that petal as well as he scrunched up his nose in distaste before repeating the cycle.

“He loves me”s and “He loves me not”s filled Baekhyun’s ears with the man’s soft, deep voice until Destiny walked past him. She paused with a frown and slowly sat next to him. “What are you doing, Baek?”

Baekhyun didn’t look up to her as he pointed downward. “Just watching.”

Destiny glanced down as the man took another petal from the white rose and lazily tossed it into the river.

A small breeze blew through the air, ruffling the man’s hair and tearing the next white petal from his fingers. The man blinked in the direction the petal blew off in and laughed softly before he took off another petal and dropped it into the river, jokingly telling himself that Fate chose not to include that petal.

Baekhyun leaned on his elbow and mumbled, “I like his laugh.”

Destiny smiled a little. “I do too. Quite a few people here – at least all the ones that know him – do.”

Baekhyun glanced up. “You know him? Who is that man?”

Destiny and Baekhyun locked eyes and held each other’s gaze as the man tore another petal from the white rose and dropped it into the river.

Destiny pulled her sight away from Baekhyun and stood, turning to walk away. “Someone who lost his most treasured possession.” Baekhyun tilted his head as Destiny continued. “Like a young angel I once knew who got punished for being stuck between love and reality.”

Baekhyun bit his lower lip, watching the train of her dress float behind her as she slowly walked away before he hesitantly called out to her. “Will he ever find it?”

Destiny paused and glanced over her shoulder with a disenchanting smile and gave a small shrug.

Baekhyun frowned as she disappeared from his sight, and he looked back down to the man who was clutching the last petal from the rose and kicking his feet in the river happily, mumbling into his small bouquet of white roses, “He loves me, he loves me. Will we meet again someday, my love?”

Baekhyun watched the man with a slightly sad, soft smirk dancing on his lips as he ran his thumb across the small silver ring on his finger. “How tragic.”

“Will we meet again someday, Baekhyun?”

********

A/n: yay it's the end~  I added like 500 or so more words at the end after I already turned in the fic for MOC, so I just decided to add it later.

So uhh... yeah.

I actually really want to thank all of you guys for the amount of support that you all gave this story (like omg wow I hate it but okay). I've nearly cried way too many times from all of you saying such nice things I just... feels. Feels everywhere hnnggghhh. 

Like... heart spam for real. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Okay maybe I'll write some other super long A/n later if I feel like it. But I just had to put this up soooo~ C:

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH OMG You're all the best people in the world I just... I LOVE YOU ALL ♥

Xoxo~
~Winter