Part 3: And Forevermore

‘Lately, I haven’t been as lonely.’

Chanyeol frowned down to his journal and bit the eraser of his pencil. Kris was lying in his bed (again), but Chanyeol found he didn’t care.

‘And it’s not just because of Kris. I feel like someone’s been following me.’

He stared down to the page before quickly adding something else for clarification.

‘Not a stalker or something but…’

Frustrated, Chanyeol groaned and crossed out the last lines.

‘It’s kind of like Baekhyun’s near.’

He closed his journal and threw it toward his bed, managing to hit Kris square in the face.

Kris sat up with a yelp and rubbed his forehead. “What the hell, man?!”

“Get up. It’s Saturday, which means I should be sleeping there – not you.”

Kris groaned as he rolled off his bed and picked up his pair of pants from the floor.

It had been two weeks since their incident where both of them woke up with an awful hangover, remembering nothing from the night until they were aware of their stained sheets and lack of clothing, but neither of them let it get to them too much. Kris was more of a stress reliever and a best friend/roommate than he was a lover, but Chanyeol couldn’t help but have his heart beat a little faster when he noticed Kris’s bedhead hair and how nice it looked messily splayed across his pillow. But the thought was always covered by ‘I wonder how Baekhyun’s hair would look on my pillow.’

Since entering college, Chanyeol’s been noticing an awkward trend going on. Every day was generally the same in terms of school work and his social life. Everything seemed generally normal again. Yet recently, he’s been remembering the brunette more often than before.

Many girls had wanted to be Chanyeol’s girlfriend, but he never took up any of them on their offer. Most of them wanted him for ; all he would be thinking about was how the smaller person underneath him wasn’t Baekhyun and never would be.

He’s been remembering the brunette in some random places too. During his homework, he’d think of how Baekhyun used to refuse to study. Whenever he would look at a girl he thought was pretty, he would recall how Baekhyun was much more attractive, and sometimes he’d even feel guilty for not thinking about Baekhyun the same way. Even when glancing at his own hands, he would think of Baekhyun’s slender fingers.

Chanyeol rubbed his forehead in annoyance. All of these thoughts about Baekhyun were nice, but he wished he didn’t have so many. They were really messing with his concentration.

Chanyeol thought it was odd that it had recently started too: right after the incident with Kris.

A lot of things were starting to get weird after that incident. He had frequent headaches more often than usual, Baekhyun was on his mind too much, and Chanyeol had been finding small, white feathers around his apartment.

He wasn’t sure what either of them meant or why they suddenly started appearing then, but he felt like they were all somehow connected.

“Do I look okay?”

Chanyeol glanced up, and his eyes locked onto the expectant eyes of a rather dapper-looking Kris.

“… Your tie is crooked,” Chanyeol frowned as he stood to adjust the tie. “I don’t know why you put these on when it seems like you never know how to wear them.” Kris just shrugged nonchalantly.

This is how it had always been since entering college. Same old, same old. Chanyeol couldn’t help but think that if Baekhyun was here, it wouldn’t be as insipid as it seemed.

-------

Baekhyun was learning how much fun it was to be a guardian angel. Tampering with Chanyeol’s mind and conscience to make him think of him more often was more fun than he assumed it would be. Currently though, all he felt was jealous.

Baekhyun sighed, glaring at Chanyeol as he fixed Kris’s tie. Another angel he had met sat next to him, glancing between the sight and Baekhyun’s scrunched up face.

“You know, there’s no use falling in love with a human.”

Baekhyun scrunched up his nose and looked to the angel beside him.

“Have I ever told you that you remind me of a panda?”

“… Multiple times.”

Baekhyun nodded before looking back to the scene and sighing again.

Baekhyun wasn’t surprised when he was matched to Chanyeol after graduating to a guardian. Rather, he was overjoyed and incredibly annoyed. Most of all, though, he kind of saw it coming. The two had looked after each other in life, and it somehow just made sense that they would do so after life too.

When he received the news from Jongdae, they both groaned in unison.

“Fate’s really just toying with you.” Jongdae sat up and counted on his fingers. “First you two fall in love and never tell each other, next you get separated yet you remember it all, then he texts you in the afterlife, and now you’re his guardian angel? That’s just not okay.”

“I feel like I’m going to explode.”

“I really do think she’s just seeing how far you’ll bend.”

Baekhyun growled. He did not need to deal with this drama right now. Looking at it one way, it meant his job was literally to spend time with Chanyeol, but negatively, he had to watch (and sometimes help) Chanyeol go on happily in life without him. Baekhyun suddenly understood why Jongdae said people don’t go to The Observatory to watch their family or friends after a while.

Baekhyun glanced down to his journal and bit the edge of the eraser on his pencil. Baekhyun had started carrying around a journal ever since he noticed that Chanyeol did too. He had been writing little things that he wished he could tell Chanyeol but never did. They consisted of short things like ‘I really liked your hair today’ or ‘The lotion you use makes you smell nice.’ Sometimes, he would opt to write a generally short letter to him at the end of the day, pretending that he could get Chanyeol to read it, as though he could slip it into his locker anonymously. The journal was generally just a way to get out all of his feelings about Chanyeol without exploding. Most of the time it worked. Other times, Jongdae’s ears would ring for hours after Baekhyun’s loud ranting.

“Baekhyun.”

He snapped out of his thoughts as panda face – Tao, he thinks his name was – appeared in front of him. “They left already. Are you going to follow or not?”

Baekhyun frowned and glanced away. “I’m going to head home. If you’re following them, I don’t really have to.”

Tao shrugged and waved goodbye as he followed them out the door. Baekhyun stayed in his position for a few more seconds before closing his journal and deciding to return home.

---------------

After a while, Chanyeol had grown rather fond of those white feathers he found, and started embracing the thoughts of Baekhyun.

Chanyeol started collecting the feathers after he came across multiple of them, and he wasn’t sure why, but the feathers he found gave him a bit of hope. They smelled of heaven. They reminded him of Baekhyun’s familiar scent. It was as though they were little reminders that Baekhyun was always with him, or just little gifts from heaven to remind him that Baekhyun was okay. For some reason, he felt happy and safe when he found a new one. He felt calmer when he would remember that Baekhyun was cheering him on.

Maybe Chanyeol was just a love sick fool. Maybe he wasn’t.

Baekhyun had been watching Chanyeol for a few weeks and found himself more bored than ever. He was supposed act as Chanyeol’s conscience; he was mainly there to make sure that Chanyeol didn’t do anything stupid and to keep him out of trouble, but he found that Chanyeol could handle that much on his own, so Baekhyun would usually just sit around and watch Chanyeol throughout the day and influence his thoughts whenever he could.

It wasn’t much. Just a simple, “Baekhyun looked better with eyeliner than that girl,” every once in a while.

There was a general pattern going on that Baekhyun didn’t like. The predictability of each day wasn’t something that Baekhyun embraced. Chanyeol would go to school normally every day, return home and study until it was early in the morning and then go to sleep for a few hours before repeating the general cycle. That’s why he was so surprised when he ree night to find Chanyeol already asleep.

Baekhyun stood at the foot of Chanyeol’s bed as he tossed and turned in his bed.

He frowned. If he could manipulate his thoughts, maybe he could manipulate his dreams too? Baekhyun walked toward the side of Chanyeol’s bed and rubbed the creases of his brow, whispering, “It’s okay, it’s just a bad dream.”

Baekhyun sat next to him and wiggled his fingers under the sheets to entwine their fingers. Baekhyun sighed in his position and smiled down to Chanyeol, watching his expression grow more peaceful.

-------

Chanyeol knew it was a dream for two reasons. He never takes romantic walks on the beach, and he never takes romantic walks on the beach with Baekhyun.

The giant storm he was in suddenly disappeared, he washed up on the beach, and the sun was drying his clothes, but the only thing on his mind was how perfectly Baekhyun’s fingers fit in his own.

Chanyeol kept his sight straight ahead, cursing himself for having another dream about Baekhyun, but he didn’t want to wake up from this one. The other male’s hand in his was oddly comforting. Baekhyun glanced up to him and smiled sweetly. Chanyeol glanced down and stopped walking as Baekhyun slid his hand out from his. Chanyeol immediately missed the touch and turned to Baekhyun to question why he drew away from him.

Baekhyun stood on the tips of his toes and wrapped his arms around the giant’s neck and leaned upward. Chanyeol stared down to the closed eyes of the male and blinked. Is this happening? Is this really happening? Well it’s a dream, but it’s totally dream happening, isn’t it? What do I do, what do I do?!

And as their lips brushed, Chanyeol felt like he had found his little piece of heaven.                                       

Chanyeol sat up quickly in his bed, panting as he glanced around his darkened room. He didn’t notice the soft thud as Baekhyun flipped off him and collided with the floor, stumbling as he got up and scampered out of the window, but he was slightly surprised to find that he was alone until he remembered Kris was out for the night. Chanyeol glanced around, shuffling through his bed sheets, and found a small, white feather clinging to his blankets. He lifted the feather and stared at it as he slowed his breathing down and his bottom lip.

He swore for a second he could taste Baekhyun’s lips.

-------

I kissed him, Oh god, I kissed him.

Baekhyun paced his room frantically, wondering if there was some type of rule against that.

Baekhyun doesn’t remember necessarily how it happened, but the warmth emanating from his body was comforting and over time, he found himself lying on top of Chanyeol with his hands on his face and his lips in his own. In a way, it was good Chanyeol woke up – who knows how long that would have continued or what else Baekhyun would have done if he didn’t. Baekhyun shook his head at the thought.

In theory, he had eased the giant’s conscience and stopped him from possibly doing something stupid in his sleep, but maybe that something stupid was supposed to happen under Fate’s orders. Baekhyun winced. The last thing he needed was the twins on his because he did something stupid like kissing a human. Nice.

Jongdae groaned from his side of the room. “It’d be so much easier if you’d just talk about it.”

Baekhyun shook his head. “I don’t need this getting out of hand.”

“Breaking the rules is something huge, Baek. Tell me about it and maybe I’ll get you out of some type of trouble at least.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes and stared at Jongdae. “Or… or maybe you won’t be in trouble at all? I don’t know if you even broke the rules.”

Baekhyun sighed and stuttered, “… I… kind of kissed Chanyeol…?”

Jongdae stopped whatever he was doing and stared at him incredulously. “You did what?!”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and explained the story to him, causing Jongdae to panic a little. “That’s definitely against the rules, Baek!”

“Well what do I do?!”

Jongdae stopped and stared at Baekhyun. “Nothing. We do absolutely nothing, and hope nothing bad happens in return.”

---------------

Baekhyun had managed to go for a week and a half without being reprimanded by anyone about his mistake, so he forgot about it for a while and continued on with his job, as though it had never happened.

This whole “doing nothing” thing was hardly foolproof, but as of right now it was working, and Baekhyun was not one to argue with something that works.

Baekhyun sat on Chanyeol’s kitchen table, watching him flip through page after page of that boring psychology book. Chanyeol’s ears were flattened on the top by the hat he was wearing and his dark hair curled around them in a way that made Baekhyun want to reach out and wrap it around his finger.

Chanyeol pulled out his phone and typed in a quick text. Baekhyun’s phone rang in his back pocket. Quite surprised that Chanyeol was texting him for the first time again in months, Baekhyun quickly fished his phone out of his pocket, but his smile dropped instantly at the sight of the text.

From Jongdae: “There’s a problem that I really need you back for.”

Baekhyun stared irritably at Chanyeol to see him smiling at his phone. What the hell are you smiling at if it’s not me? Baekhyun glanced over Chanyeol’s shoulder and saw the name of whom he was texting: Kris.

Baekhyun made a garbled noise as he texted Chanyeol.

To Chanyeol: “You’re a dimwit – I’m right in front of you. Talk to me you idiot!”

He sighed and texted Jongdae.

To Jongdae: “I’d rather not.”

The response from Jongdae came oddly quickly.

From Jongdae: “It wasn’t a question. I didn’t ask for your opinion on the matter.”

Baekhyun frowned to his phone. It wasn’t like Jongdae to be so straightforward. Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, swiped his fingers through his hair quickly, and disappeared before the giant could turn around and question the small breeze of wind flowing through his kitchen.

-------

Upon Baekhyun’s arrival back at Haven, Jongdae was pacing the room, muttering what sounded like his name amidst curses, threats, and multiple choice words. At his appearance, Jongdae glanced up and marched over to him, pushing up his sleeves, still muttering gibberish. Baekhyun took a couple of startled steps back until Jongdae grabbed his collar and pushed him up against the wall.

“Dammit Baek, where the hell were you – it’s going to be worse now because you took so long.”

“Whoa, whoa, shut up or slow down,” Baekhyun whimpered over Jongdae’s voice.

“The twins want to see you to see the council, and you and I both totally know why.”

Baekhyun blinked and as a look of recognition crossed his face, he whispered, “… the kiss?”

Jongdae nodded and handed Baekhyun a scroll.

Baekhyun immediately left to meet Luhan in the council room.

-------

“You’ve been a guardian angel for less than a month, and you’re already standing in front of me?”

Baekhyun smiled sheepishly as he explained, “The rules weren’t defined clearly enough, I guess.”

Luhan rolled his eyes and read his charges aloud. He turned to Baekhyun and sighed. “You make Park Chanyeol think about you because you get jealous?”

Baekhyun shrugged.

Luhan’s eyes narrowed. “And you kissed him in his sleep?”

Baekhyun nodded. “I did indeed.”

Luhan glared at him and groaned. “What do you think you deserve?”

“A pat on the back and a cookie.”

Baekhyun gave Luhan a cheesy smile, which earned a smack on the back of the head from Luhan. “You’re only getting off this easily because I know you and it’s your first offense. Understood? Don’t let it happen again.”

Baekhyun rubbed his head as he mumbled, “Fine.”

Luhan let him off with a warning and made sure that Baekhyun wouldn’t mess with Chanyeol’s emotions or influence Chanyeol’s thoughts for his own benefit simply because he could.

Baekhyun whined, saying that took all the fun out of it.

Luhan hit him again and threatened to take all of his guardian angel privileges away. Baekhyun was suddenly okay with the original punishment.

---------------

A few days later, Jongdae found Baekhyun lying on the couch staring at a book. When he asked Baekhyun if he was going to go to watch Chanyeol that day, Baekhyun glanced up with a bored expression.

“Why does it matter to you?”

“I’m curious.”

When he nonchalantly replied no (and grumbled about it not being fun if he couldn’t fill Chanyeol’s mind with thoughts of him anymore), Jongdae smiled brightly. “Well then, I’m going to introduce you to someone.”

Jongdae made Baekhyun get dressed up nicely because apparently they were going to a fancy restaurant. He expected the large building, fancy chandeliers and extraneous expensive decorations strung throughout it. He didn’t expect to see a chubby-faced not-stranger standing in front of him.

“Baekhyun, this is Minseok.”

Baekhyun stared at the red haired baozi, gasping like a fish. “Xiumin?”

Jongdae frowned. “No, what are you, deaf? This is Minseok. Min-seok.”

Baekhyun glanced toward Jongdae and shook his head, about to correct his friend, but he was only able to stutter out, “B-bu… but…” before the chubby cheeked angel laughed softly and held out his hand.

“Nice to see you again too, Byun Baek.”

Baekhyun gaped at the angel again. “So… Xiumin?”

He shrugged. “Call me what you like, but here I’m known as Minseok.”

“Wait…” Jongdae stepped in between them. “You two already know each other?”

The wide eyed boy nodded and turned to Baekhyun with a proud smile on his face. “I can’t believe this lazy little Byuntae already graduated to guardian angel.”

He put his hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder proudly, but Baekhyun shrugged it off quickly with a skeptical look on his face.

“Wait wait wait…” Baekhyun narrowed his eyes. “You… died?”

Xiumin (or Minseok – Baekhyun hadn’t decided yet) shook his head slowly. “Not recently at least.”

“But you were with us at school–”

“I was a Matchmaker for…” He paused and glanced away. “I was assigned to do something. I’m in the weather department now though, so I had to come back.”

Jongdae raised an eyebrow curiously, but Baekhyun frowned before suddenly recalling that Kyungsoo and Jongin had gotten together. Then he brightened up suddenly. “To think there was an angel in our presence for that long.”

Xiumin grimaced. “I should have been faster apparently.”

Baekhyun shook his head. “But Kyungsoo and Jongin are doing well though, so it can’t be all bad. As long as they’re together and happy, it’s fine, right?”

Xiumin looked up but didn’t meet Baekhyun’s eyes. Rather he glanced to Jongdae and mumbled, “Shouldn’t we sit down? It’s burdensome to just stand around.”

-------

After they were seated and had ordered their food, the three had slipped into casual conversation. Still curious about Minseok, Baekhyun frowned and asked, “Why were you doing a matchmaker’s job if you’re stationed in weather?

“I graduated to Matchmaker at first before finding out that I was better fit under the weather category.”

Jongdae spoke with a mouth full of rice. “He used to be the best cupid ever.”

Minseok slapped the back of Jongdae’s forehead, causing rice to shoot out all over the table. Jongdae laughed in embarrassment as Minseok scolded him. “Don’t talk with your mouth full and don’t call us cupids!”

Jongdae smiled sarcastically to him before continuing his story. “He was like a god of love. He was legitimately Destiny’s right hand angel. Had the job for quite a while before he decided to resign.”

Baekhyun stared at Minseok in amazement. In response, Minseok sighed and added, “But meddling in someone else’s love life was stressful, difficult, and time consuming… Nowadays, I just sit around and watch the snow fall. And in months where it’s not cold enough, I sleep. And eat. Or cloud race with Jongdae.”

Baekhyun frowned. “What about culinary school?”

Minseok smiled sadly and responded, “I guess it just was never meant to be. I still make stuff though. Ice creams and some deserts – people here like that stuff... I even brew coffee at the coffee shop or help out in restaurants sometimes.”

Jongdae glanced to Minseok and frowned before asking, “I never asked before, but why would you actually take a Match-Maker’s assignment?”

Minseok shrugged nonchalantly. “They needed a stand in, and I had the credentials. I didn’t expect to stay down there for so long and become part of their friend group though – I kind of didn’t want to leave after a while.” Minseok’s face fell as he glanced to Baekhyun. “You said Kyungsoo and Jongin got together?”

Baekhyun nodded a little. “That’s what Chanyeol says. He never said they broke up or anything.”

Minseok tilted his head curiously. “Chanyeol? You talk to Chanyeol?”

Baekhyun held up his phone. “He texts occasionally.”

Jongdae cut in. “It’s some weird conundrum that we haven’t sorted out. But Baek likes the attention and talking to the object of his affection, so not like it’s bad.”

Minseok slapped his hand on the table and stared at Baekhyun. “Wait, you like Chanyeol?”

Baekhyun blinked twice and looked away, evoking a growl from Minseok. “Answer me, Baek, I really have to know.”

“Okay, okay, yes, I do.”

“Hell, Baek, you never told that to anyone before.”

“Well I didn’t know until a while ago either, okay?” Baekhyun bit his lip.

“… I’m not judging you. I just wish I knew earlier.”

Baekhyun tilted his head. “Why’s it so important?”

“Just… curious.” Minseok shook his head and changed the subject. “I’m just surprised that you actually still remember me.”

Baekhyun laughed nervously. “We’ve known each other for years – how could I forget?”

Minseok glanced to Jongdae and back. “You never heard the rules of holding?”

When Baekhyun tilted his head, slightly confused, Jongdae spoke up. “‘Don’t be afraid to forget’: every angel forgets their memories.”

“Your memories from life become irrelevant, especially after you graduate,” Minseok mumbled. “You make new memories. You don’t need the old ones anymore. Forgetting is a natural process that occurs once you get here. Everyone forgets pretty much everything, maybe except for one or two things, but you still remember it all…”

Baekhyun blinked and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Well I’m starting to forget some stuff… like Jongin’s favorite food or how many unmatched socks Chanyeol has shoved under his bed.”

“That doesn’t count,” Minseok responded before biting his lip. “And everyone knows that Jongin loves Kyungsoo’s kimchi spaghetti. Pretty much anything Kyungsoo makes is Jongin’s favorite food.” Baekhyun laughed nervously, which was silenced by Minseok’s sigh. “It’s just weird that you actually still remember most of the stuff everyone else has forgotten by now. You’ve been here for a bit under a year, and most people forget within two months…”

“Oh!” Jongdae interrupted. “Maybe he’s regaining his memories because Chanyeol texted him, and he’s guarding Chanyeol.”

Minseok blinked and sighed as he shook his head. “Fate’s really just toying with you now.”

Baekhyun frowned. “Well why are we supposed to forget?”

“So everyone has a chance to start over.” Minseok’s voice was soft as he spoke. “It’d be kind of difficult to make this Haven a paradise if people still did the bad things they did in life, and it’d be awful if you had problems with someone else here and kept your memories of that.”

“You’re also not supposed to let your own feelings about something that happened during life interrupt Destiny’s or Fate’s plans. Anything that you take part in and its effects are supposed to be trivial or meaningless to you.” Jongdae added. “It’d be difficult if you tried to interrupt Fate’s work because of your memories of someone else. If Fate wants to put you together in life but keep you apart in the afterlife, then it’ll be done.”

Baekhyun frowned. “So… no matter what I do, I’ll never end up with Chanyeol?”

Minseok stared at him silently, but Jongdae put his hand on Baekhyun’s back and frowned. “Some fairytale endings just aren’t supposed to happen. Life and Death never tend to work out that way.”

Minseok stood quickly. Baekhyun’s and Jongdae’s eyes followed him as he excused himself from the table and walked away, putting his hands into his pockets and slumping his shoulders.

Baekhyun groaned into his hands. Jongdae allowed a minute or two of silence before he looked at him with an odd expression and whispered, “I didn’t know you knew him before.”

Baekhyun sighed and picked at his salad, absentmindedly shoving a forkful into his mouth. “Well now you do.”

“You said you knew him for years?”

“Yeah, maybe 2 years? 3? Why?”

Jongdae bit his lip and frowned. “He was gone on an assignment for a long time and then he comes back one day complaining about how badly he messed up.”

Baekhyun let a bit of lettuce tumble out of his mouth as he mumbled, “How did he mess up?”

Jongdae’s eye sight dropped. “He let one of them die in a car accident right before the other’s birthday, when they were supposed to get together.”

-------

Baekhyun didn’t go to visit Chanyeol anymore.

His journal filled with letters of regret and sorrow.

He didn’t sleep for the next two days.

It was too painful waking up from the dreams he wished were his reality.

-------

‘Those white feathers have stopped appearing.

Baekhyun’s presence is suddenly gone.

I wonder if it’s my fault.

I wonder if it was there at all.

I wonder if I’m crazy.’

---------------

Chanyeol had returned to his apartment late after meeting with a couple of his friends. As he walked into the building, he sighed as nothing was on his mind but studying and sleep.

“Welcome back, Chanyeol,” Kris mumbled as Chanyeol stumbled into his room and collapsed on his bed. Kris glanced up from whatever he was doing and raised an eyebrow. “Tired?”

Chanyeol nodded. “Tired,” he responded as he took one of the old feathers from his nightstand and placed it on his lips before blowing it into the air.

Kris smiled as he stood and walked over toward Chanyeol’s bed. He snatched the feather from the air and set it on his nightstand before he pushed Chanyeol down into his bed and pinned him down with a y smirk on his lips. Chanyeol opened his eyes and laughed up to Kris before letting them close again.

Kris allowed Chanyeol’s laughter to die out before his face turned serious as he glanced down to him with a frown. He broke the silence with a whisper.

“I need to ask you a question.”

Chanyeol didn’t open his eyes as he responded with a soft, “Hmm?”

“Do you still like him?”

Chanyeol’s ear twitched a little. “Like who?”

“That Baekhyun kid.”

Chanyeol squeezed his eyes tighter and turned his head away from Kris. “Why would you ask me something like that?”

Kris’ hands pushed down further into the mattress. “It’s a pretty legitimate question.”

Chanyeol paused, opening his eyes slowly as he thought about it. His eyes focused on the feather that Kris had set down as his mind filled with Baekhyun. Baekhyun had been on his mind every day recently. The brunette was the center of every one of his thoughts and the cause of most of his actions. Saying that he missed the boy would be an understatement; in fact, Chanyeol wished Baekhyun was there for the majority of the stuff that he had been doing recently. Chanyeol paused. Do I still love him? The immediate answer seemed like a yes. But as he opened his mouth to speak, he felt like he couldn’t say it.

Kris sighed loudly as he got up and sat next to Chanyeol, putting his hand on his shoulder. “He’s been dead for a year, Chanyeol.”

“I know.” Chanyeol slapped Kris’s hand away and paused at his upset tone before softening it. “You don’t have to remind me.”

“I still think you should just move on…”

Chanyeol stared at the wall and refused to respond. After about a minute of the silence, Kris tucked some of Chanyeol’s hair behind his ear and mumbled, “It’d be for the best. It’s not nice to see you so torn over something that you’ll never get back.” Kris noticed Chanyeol tense. He wanted to keep talking, but he didn’t want Chanyeol to get upset with him, so he squeezed Chanyeol’s shoulder and whispered into his ear, “Just think about it,” before he placed a soft kiss on his temple and stood up to walk toward the door. He paused at the exit and turned to face the still unresponsive Chanyeol. Kris softly added, “I’m always here to talk about it,” before walking out of the room.

Chanyeol stayed in his position even after Kris had left. He turned his head and noticed more of those white feathers that he had collected and glared at them. He closed his eyes as he thought about the issue. He was being forced to make a decision that he didn’t want to (and truthfully never thought he’d have to) make. He was being forced to choose one person over the other out of two people that he didn’t want to compare. Someone cool like Kris, or someone cute and bubbly like Baekhyun? Someone he had just met who could take all of his problems away, or someone he had known for years who seemed to be the cause of all of his problems? Chanyeol groaned and hugged his pillow to his chest, opting to skip studying for some well-deserved rest.

---------------

Minseok ended up passing Baekhyun again a week later and stopped him to speak to him.

“Baekhyun, I need to get something off my chest,” Minseok mumbled with a guilty look. “I wasn’t Kyungsoo’s and Jongin’s match maker – heck I didn’t even know they were supposed to get together – I was yours and Chanyeol’s.”

Baekhyun smiled shyly. “I kind of noticed. Jongdae sort of indirectly told me last week.”

“Ahh, good. That makes my job a lot easier and the reaction much less violent.”

The two returned to Minseok’s apartment and sat down with a cup of coffee to speak about Baekhyun’s last days on earth.

“A week before Chanyeol’s birthday, it was snowing, right?” Baekhyun nodded. “I made that happen. The two of you were always so happy when it snowed.”

Baekhyun frowned and shivered. “It was always really cold when it snowed, so it wasn’t my favorite time ever.”

Baekhyun’s words prompted a smile from Minseok. “But sitting under a blanket drinking hot chocolate next to a fire with Chanyeol is one of your favorite winter pastimes.” Baekhyun’s cheeks heated up as he looked away.

Minseok ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “In a way, I screwed you two up. I didn’t push you to get together because I’d have to go back, and being with the guys was… really fun.”

He paused before looking back to Baekhyun. “Destiny – have you had a run in with her yet? Well anyway, she started to call me out on it, and after a while, you had gotten so settled into your firm ‘we’re just best friends’ stance and Chanyeol was so okay with not telling you that it was hard to convince either of you that you two belonged together. And no one thought you liked Chanyeol back, so I couldn’t use anyone else’s help to convince you to ask him, and then the perfect situation was set up because Chanyeol planned on telling you on his birthday and then…” Minseok’s voice trailed off.

He groaned. “I guess that’s what happens when you try to shove the feelings of months’ worth of planned experiences into a week. I wonder if it’s all my fault that this happened… my fault that you’re here in the first place.”

Baekhyun looked up to him and responded, “But you can’t blame yourself for that. It wasn’t your job to keep us alive, at least.”

“No, but it was my job to get you two together, and I couldn’t even do that.” He grunted as he slammed his fist on the table. “If only I had been paying more attention to you two, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. And my snow… and the black ice that truck skidded on… if I had just stuck to snow in late December, this wouldn’t have happened. If I hadn’t been a hindrance to you two getting together…” Minseok hit his head on the table. “I’m such a bother. I don’t deserve to be a matchmaker. I never did.” He glanced upward. “And it was especially obvious with you two. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips and frowned, mumbling, “It’s okay. It’s in the past.”

Minseok sighed and put his head back down as he responded, “But it didn’t have to be.”

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Baekhyun returned to Chanyeol’s dorm incredibly early in the morning, surprised to see him still studying. Baekhyun glanced over his shoulder and watched him flip through page after page of that psychology book with a bored expression on his face that was illuminated by a small candle on his desk that casted wavering shadows of him across the opposite wall. The soft sounds of Kris snoring from the room over caught Baekhyun’s attention, which was quickly diverted as a soft voice called out, “Yo.”

Baekhyun flinched as he noticed Tao staring at Chanyeol while Kris was sleeping. Tao glanced up and turned back to Chanyeol as he explained, “I was watching him to make sure he doesn’t accidentally burn the dorm down in his fatigued condition.” Baekhyun nodded slowly as he sat next to Tao. “Why are you here, by the way? You tend to come more often at night.”

Baekhyun shrugged. “I want to make sure he gets his sleep. He’s prone to nightmares…”

Tao raised an eyebrow and replied softly, “It sounds like you know him pretty well.”

Baekhyun mumbled under his breath, “… Almost as though I’ve known him for eleven years.”

Tao pretended not to hear it as he stared at Chanyeol and frowned. “He’s supposed to be studying, but he was on the phone like a minute before you got here. He kept saying something about some guy he knew that passed away about a year ago.”

When Baekhyun didn’t respond, Tao blinked twice and looked toward Baekhyun, who was staring at Chanyeol with an appreciative smile. A small knowing smile twitched at the corners of Tao’s lips as he turned back to Chanyeol. “That boy must be really lucky if he’s still talking about him like that after a year.”

Baekhyun nodded, only slightly listening to the words the panda was saying. He focused instead on how sweet and caring (and kind of cheesy, but Baekhyun wouldn’t admit it now) it was that Chanyeol was still thinking nice things about him, even without him needing to remind him to do so.

Tao spoke softly after a short sigh. “People say that some really strong loves can transcend lifetimes.” Baekhyun glanced toward Tao as he shook his head slightly. “I never believed that stuff…” he turned to Baekhyun with that small smile and whispered, “… but you two might convince me.”

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Tao left shortly after, leaving Chanyeol in Baekhyun’s care. Baekhyun allowed Tao’s words to sink in and smiled in Chanyeol’s direction.

Baekhyun curiously strolled over to Chanyeol and leaned over the side of his desk to watch Chanyeol’s eyelids flutter closed as he lost focus on his studying. Chanyeol’s fingers lay on top of a small white feather that Baekhyun recognized as his own. Baekhyun blinked and glanced around the room, wondering how long he’d been leaving feathers around and why Chanyeol would know it was there before coming to the conclusion that others could see his feathers when they detached from his wings. He briefly wondered whether he should tell someone about it, but his mind was drawn away from it as Chanyeol mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep. Baekhyun poked his cheek softly to wake him up, and Chanyeol’s eyes opened for a second before closing again. A cute smile tugged at the corners of Baekhyun’s lips, when his phone suddenly vibrated.

From Jongdae: “I hope you’re not watching him sleep again. That’s really creepy, and you know what happened the last time.”

Baekhyun made a strangled noise and furiously typed back.

To Jongdae: “He’s not sleeping; he’s almost sleeping. And I’m being cautious!”

Baekhyun put away his phone as he turned back to Chanyeol, who was nodding off to sleep. Baekhyun smiled a little. Chanyeol always looked so attractive in his glasses. He slid the glasses off his nose and placed them on his desk before whispering softly, “Come on, let’s get you into bed. It’s bad if you don’t sleep anyways, and you don’t seem to be getting much studying done.” Baekhyun tugged on Chanyeol’s arm, slightly jolting him out of his sleep enough to convince him to walk over toward his bed and lie down on it to sleep.

Baekhyun’s eyes grazed over Chanyeol’s sleeping figure as he smiled serenely, thinking only of how much he missed this giant. Baekhyun was planning to leave right after Chanyeol fell asleep, but he found Chanyeol’s hand tighten in his. Baekhyun glanced toward him and noticed he was still asleep, yet he clearly mumbled, “Baek… stay with me…”

Baekhyun blinked twice and smiled as he curled up next to his side with a smile. “Okay, fine. I’ll stay.”

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‘I found another new feather today.’

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