Chapter 2:

 

People would use the words quiet and soft spoken to describe Luhan when he was younger. Luhan liked to use the description of ‘How can I speak to you if I don’t understand you?’. Due to his nature of not caring about people, it made him seem stuck-up and cold. Luhan hated that would consider befriending him as a challenge, because at the age of 6 the other children hated losing. If they failed the first time, they would quit (but Luhan wanted them to try again).  That’s why when Minseok first interacted with him, he was debating whether to be angry or laugh.

 

“Hello!” a high voice said (but everyone’s voices are high at the age of 6) with the weirdest accent, but in his mother language.

 

“Why are you speaking with me?” Luhan threw back still in Mandarin.

 

“I don’t know.” the boy replied in Mandarin.

 

“Do you think this is funny?” Luhan’s buttons were pushed easily, and his temper grew faster than a wildfire in a forest.

 

“I don’t know.” the boy says again. A scoff comes out of Luhan’s mouth, his head tilts to the side as if he was going to break one of his bones, but he manages to keep his temper in check as the boy looks up at him.

 

It takes a good 30 seconds of asking questions to realize that this boy can only say ‘hello’ and ‘I don’t know’ in Mandarin. Luhan’s tiny hands ball into fists, ready to start a fight with this kid, until he looks at the boy and on his face is plastered this cheeky grin. On top of the situation already, there is this kid’s stupid grin. He hears laughing, and Luhan’s shocked when he realizes it’s his own laugh from how ridiculous this encounter is.

 

For the next couple minutes while Luhan is still doubled over laughing, the boy is just looking at him confused (looking at the confused face makes his laughter linger seconds longer). When Luhan’s finally wiping the tears from his eyes and he sees the boy still there, patiently waiting for Luhan to do something. That something, Luhan has no idea what it is, but he offers it in his broken Korean.

 

“My name is Luhan. What’s yours?” Luhan even going as far as extending his tiny arm for a handshake.

 

“Minseok.” Minseok shakes the outstretched hand with a grin that spreads to his eyes.

 

[---]

 

Minseok from then on becomes his buddy that Luhan practices Korean with (because his mom insists that they’ll be living here for a long time), and even at school he’s become some sort of a translator. Minseok proclaims himself to be his translator, but it’s more like Luhan does some body gesture and Minseok interprets it to be something.

 

Sometimes Minseok is spot on, correctly interpreting that he wants to go to the bathroom and asking the teacher for permission. More often than not Minseok is wrong which leads to things like Luhan getting him a lunch with nuts in it (even though he completely hates nuts) or Minseok using all of nap time searching the whole classroom believing that Luhan has lost something (Luhan doesn’t even know what he was looking for). Even if Luhan tried to get Minseok to stop (because frankly it was sometimes annoying), Minseok would probably interpret it as Luhan being guilty that he was using up Minseok’s time. That’s why Minseok would always disregard it with a:

 

    “I want to do this. Don’t worry about it.” and Minseok will always flash that smile that makes Luhan waver in his decisions, and makes discussion end.

 

    As Luhan’s Korean became better, he didn’t need Minseok to constantly be there to help him, but Minseok would always be by his side. They were so used to being attached together, that neither of them saw a reason to stop. Minseok’s Mandarin was coming along with the help of Ms. Kim and himself, and maybe some words from the Luhan’s parents were picked up (though they were a bit colorful).

 

    Luhan would often find himself with a bored Minseok laying in his bed and rummaging through Luhan’s toy chest which then became bookshelf and then the fridge of Luhan’s house. No matter how bored Minseok was laying around either his or Luhan’s house, he preferred to stay inside.

 

    “It’s easier to avoid trouble if we stay inside.” would always be Minseok’s reason, and Luhan never understood why. What trouble could middle school students get into? It’s not like there were people ready to coax you into trying drugs around the corner, but Minseok was always paranoid. “That’s what my mom says.”

 

    There was the real reason. As much as Luhan loved Ms. Kim, Minseok never disobeyed  if he was asked of something. He was always the perfect child, and it made Luhan crazy. Minseok’s need to be the perfect child, on top of Luhan’s itch to do something that wasn’t inside, made Luhan slightly irritated all the time. The itch for Minseok to do anything that wasn’t for his mother. So everyday Luhan will say something along the line of,

 

    “You should try to live a little.” and Minseok will always reply with some snide,

 

    “I am living. I breathe, eat, and move.”

 

    So when Minseok finally agrees with Luhan during their daily dose of friendly banter, Luhan’s planned conversation is thrown on it’s head. He puts a hand to Minseok’s forehead, and checks to see if there’s something wrong with him. All he sees is a Minseok with crestfallen eyes.

 

    “Do you have a fever or something? Am I crazy or is Minseok actually agreeing to do something fun with me?” Luhan doesn’t realize the breath he'd been holding in until it comes out when he hears Minseok chuckle. The look in his eyes slowly dissipating as he laughs a little more.

 

    “You make it sound like I don’t like to have fun or something.” Minseok slightly pouts, and Luhan feels guilty that he may have hurt Minseok’s feelings.

 

    “That’s not what I me---”

“Have you ever had a dream before?” Minseok says, effectively changing the subject.

 

“Of course I’ve had a dream before. Just last night I had a dream of bungee jumping into a volcano.” Luhan laughs at the ridiculous question, but Minseok just rolls his eyes at him.

 

“I mean, what do you want to do in the future?” Minseok restates with eyes full of hope. Luhan doesn’t know what Minseok expects, but Luhan doesn’t want to make the wrong decision, so he essentially avoids the question.

 

“Minseok, is this why you’re being so weird today?”

 

“Maybe. Maybe I just need break out of my comfort zone to achieve something that I want. I was just hoping that my best friend would be willing to help me.” Minseok intently looks into Luhan’s eyes. Luhan feels a shot of adrenaline shoot through his spine since that’s the first he’s heard the term ‘best friend’ out of Minseok’s mouth (or anyone’s for that matter), and he doesn’t despise the sound of it.

 

“Of course I’d help, that’s what best friends are for right?” The word best friend slips out like it’s meant to be, and Luhan wants to be the person that Minseok will rely on. In all the years of knowing Minseok, it was always Luhan using Minseok as a crutch, and maybe he can help Minseok with this one thing. “What’s your dream, Minseok?”

 

Instead of an answer, all Minseok offers is a smile. The one that always says, leave it alone.

 

    [---]

 

    Sometimes, Luhan wishes that he could wind back his ignorance once in a while, because even Minseok won’t tolerate it at some point.

 

    The final year of middle school is climbing up on Luhan, and Luhan is eating up the feeling.

Luhan never expected himself to become more friendly with people as they grew older. Now that there was no longer that language barrier with him and other people, he realized that he can make friends with other people. Small things from joining the Soccer club, dying his hair blonde, and the school uniform (that seems to look immensely better on Luhan than other people) slowly brings his popularity up. Before he knows it, he’s almost become a king in his class with admirers eating from his palms.

 

    Though, after school and weekends are reserved for Minseok. Most of the time is spent doing things that Luhan likes to do. They often play a game of soccer against each other since Minseok is actually decent at it (Luhan tells him that he should join the soccer club, but Minseok says that it already has enough people). They go to get bubble tea at the shop right next to their future high school. Then, they’ll watch movies at Luhan’s house except on nights where they know when both parents will be home.

 

Luhan would like to say that things didn’t change when Yixing arrived, but then he’d be lying. Yixing had transferred to their school from China, and with his Korean being only subpar, Yixing quickly was attached to Luhan.

 

“Luhan, please meet Yixing.” Principal Jung waved towards the boy sitting in the chair.

 

“Hello, my name is Zhang Yixing.” the boy with the brown wind swept hair said in Mandarin which startled Luhan. The only Mandarin he heard nowadays were when his parents were in heated arguments against each other or when they were talking to him (which rarely happened nowadays).

 

“Nice to meet you, my name is Luhan. I’ll be helping you around school until you’re comfortable.”

 

“Thank you!” Yixing looked proud at his efforts at Korean and then quickly bowed to Luhan continuously. At least until Luhan stopped him. “I’m looking forward with spending time with you.”

 

Yixing wasn’t a bad person, but far from it. He was disgustingly respectful (only disgusting because Luhan has never been that respectful), hardworking, and a fun person to talk to. I guess there was more leeway for conversation since Mandarin was always their native language. Yixing even was a fan of soccer, so he blended into Luhan’s life easily.

 

He blended so well that Luhan didn’t even notice when Yixing started to become a part of his and Minseok’s general routine. Minseok was very welcoming towards Yixing, and even tried to converse to Yixing with his limited Mandarin. Luhan was immensely glad that they got along, because Yixing became a large part of his life, and Minseok was already one.

 

There was a Friday night that was particularly peculiar where Minseok wanted to do something, but Luhan didn’t object to it since Minseok never asked to do something (which may have made it peculiar in the first place). They had gone to a bakery to get some mocha bread, and spent the rest of the night at Minseok’s place for once. They were laying on Minseok’s bed looking up at his ceiling (which was decorated in little stars). Luhan looked over at Minseok, and sees his eyes closed tightly.

 

“Is there something wrong?”

 

“You can say that I’m a little nervous.” Minseok says, not opening his eyes. Luhan could see that his hands were shaking, or maybe his whole body.

 

“About what?” Minseok just shakes his head.

 

“That’s a secret, but you want to know how to help me?” Minseok finally opens his eyes to stare at Luhan (who was already staring at him). Luhan ridiculously shaking his head up and down so quickly that it could fall off. “Just stay there, shut up, and be there for me when I need you too.”

 

“What do you ---” Luhan is cut off.

 

“Shut up Luhan.” Minseok moves his gaze to Luhan, and gives him his signature ‘I’m done talking’ smile, and Luhan is forced to leave at that.

 

[---]

 

“As much as I like speaking to someone in Mandarin, I feel like I need to work on my Korean more. Would you tutor me?” Yixing asks during lunch one day.

 

“Of course I could. When were you thinking of having these sessions? How often do you want them? Will I be getting paid?” Luhan slips in the last question with a wink.

 

“Maybe after schools somedays, possibly the weekends? Whenever you’re available would be nice.” Yixing does that over exaggerated gesture where he clasps his hands together and pouts. Luhan glances at Minseok that is poking his chopsticks at the meatloaf (that is questionably made out of actual meat).

 

“I don’t know if that’d work. I mean after school and stuff..” Luhan’s voice trails off, and brings his gaze back to Minseok. Minseok looks up from his food, and notices Luhan’s stare.

 

“What were you guys talking about?” Minseok tilts his head questionably. Luhan didn’t even notice that the whole conversation was in Mandarin.

 

“We were talking about Luhan teaching me Korean.” Yixing states slowly, each syllable over pronounced.

 

“Based on that alone, you should help him Luhan.” Minseok laughs. What about their little hangouts and trips to the bubble tea shop? That was their time, but Yixing really needed the help.

 

“It’s not like we won’t spend time with each other still.” Minseok gives him a reassuring smile.

 

“I guess I could teach my favorite dongsaeng.” Luhan shrugs and smiles at the already beaming Yixing.

 

At first, tutoring Yixing is slightly uncomfortable. The change in routine is disconcerting for Luhan for the first couple of weeks. Though after those weeks, being at Yixing’s place around his table nose deep in books becomes as familiar as sprawled out on his couch watching a movie with Minseok. Occasionally when neither Yixing or Luhan feels in the mood to spend their time dedicated to Korean, Luhan will spend time with Minseok. Just doing some of the stuff they did before he tutored Yixing.

 

At first, Luhan didn’t notice the distance that had formed between him and Minseok.  He just assumed that since he was spending more time with Yixing, because of his tutoring and their constant meetups for soccer (which started to form into bubble tea trips and movie nights, but Luhan didn’t notice). Minseok would always still be at their lunch table and the seat next to Luhan in all their classes, but Yixing would always there too. It was normal that he was spending more time with Yixing than Minseok, because of these things right?

 

It wasn’t until one Friday night that Yixing and him decided to take a break, and they decided to invite Minseok over for a movie did he then realize the distance that was growing between them. Even though Minseok was always there, it like he wasn’t. Minseok would sleep when they ate lunch in the courtyard, he’d say pass out on soccer after school (deeming he was busy), or he’d always seem to want to tell Luhan something, but he always bites his tongue.

 

Luhan misses spending time with Minseok, but it seems like Minseok is trying to avoid Luhan (and that hurts the most). Luhan spends more time with Yixing, and not necessarily makes any effort to spend time with Minseok since he’d probably reject the offer anyway. Even though Yixing is a wonderful companion, the reason why Minseok is avoiding him haunts his mind. They had been close just about a month ago, but what could have torn them apart?

 

“Why are you avoiding me?” Luhan decides to say, because he was never one to beat around the bush. They’re in the back of the courtyard during their lunch hour. Minseok is resting against a tree, and Yixing had to have a talk with the international affairs counselor, Ms. Song. The initial response he gets is Minseok’s dazed eyes as they flutter open to meet Luhan’s gaze.

 

“I’m not avoiding you, Luhan. I’m always here at lunch. I sit next to you in class.” Minseok says with a soft voice.  The answer only seems to only boil Luhan’s blood more.

 

“We barely hang out anymore.” Luhan stares at Minseok, waiting to see his reactions, but Minseok remains unfazed.

 

“You don’t invite me out.” Minseok’s soft tone just ticks off Luhan, because it’s not as simple as inviting him out. He should just be there.

 

“What do you call the, ‘I’m busy after school, Luhan’ or ‘ I’m too tired to play Soccer today’?” Luhan says in a higher tone than usual.

 

“I call them reasons why I can’t do things with you.”

 

“Reasons are just excuses people use to try making people feel better. And this reason is to justify that you’re jealous, and that’s why you don’t hang out with me anymore.” Luhan spits out, almost wanting to yell at the top of his lungs. Last night was full of thoughts of when this started, and Luhan could only remember Yixing’s tutoring sessions starting.

 

“Jealous? Jealous of what?” Minseok shows the first change in his expression of calmness to a playful curious expression like the ones that mothers have when their child asks about their day.

 

“You’re jealous of Yixing. You’re jealous that I spend so much time with Yixing.” Luhan can’t keep his temper in control as words spill out of his mouth, gradually faster and louder, “You’re jealous that you can’t speak Mandarin. You’re jealous that I like him more. You’re jealous that HE’S A BETTER FRIEND THAN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN!”

 

Luhan isn’t prepared to hear the words coming out of his own mouth, and if he couldn’t predict this, how could Minseok? Luhan’s adrenaline level stays at 100%, and Luhan doesn’t understand Minseok’s face of betrayal staring back at him. He’s the one that was betrayed, why is Minseok pretending that he’s the one hurt?

 

“I’m not JEALOUS of Yixing. I’m not seeing you for completely different reasons.” Minseok retorts as he face quickly molds itself from betrayal to disgust.

 

“So you are avoiding me!” Luhan can’t keep himself from yelling anything that comes into his mind.

 

“Stop twisting my words around Luhan!” Minseok snarls at Luhan. This throws Luhan off for a couple of seconds. He’s never heard Minseok anything close to a vicious tone come out of Minseok towards him or anyone before.

 

“I’ve been busy lately, and I’m glad that Yixing is your best friend, because I’m sick and tired of dealing with an unreasonable child that can only see his side of the story. I can have a life outside of you, Luhan!” Minseok yells.

 

The statement throws Luhan for a loop, because Minseok has always been there, he’s always been attached to Luhan. Luhan doesn’t know when he assumed that Minseok would always just be there for him, following in his footsteps. Luhan forgets that Minseok isn’t his shadow, but his own person with feet that can take him to different places.

 

Luhan’s adrenaline and anger starts to simmer down. It’s no longer a raging fire of anger, but a slow boil at the pit of his stomach. The things Minseok strikes a part of his heart, but he knows he has to calm down.  He doesn’t want to go back to yelling, because that will get them nowhere (because in the end, all he wants is his best friend back).

 

“What have you been doing lately?” is the question that Luhan thinks of that can be said with the least amount of resentment, and the most sincerity. The question makes Minseok soften, and give the smile that always means the end of a discussion.

 

    “I’ve been chasing my dreams.”