Himchan isn’t jealous. No. That'd be ridiculous. Him? Jealous? As if.

He leans back between Jongup’s legs, head resting on the second-youngest’s well built body. Jongup lifts his handheld console up and over Himchan’s head, and sets it back down in front of both of them, placing his chin on the taller’s shoulder happily.

Himchan watches with mild interest as a CGI character darts around the screen and sends colorful little blasts at monsters while Jongup presses the buttons rapidly, triggering more of these attacks. Some of the creatures fall, but the little bar in the bottom right corner flashes and shortens occasionally. 

“Did you want to listen,” Jongup asks innocently, offering an ear-bud to Himchan.

“Nah,” the boy shrugs and resumes his game.

Himchan exhales rather loudly (Jongup ignores this) and uses his index fingers to play with his cheeks in an attempt to be cute.

To Himchan’s frustration, no one pays him any mind. Both Daehyun and Youngjae are dedicatedly ignoring just about everything around them, except for food and electronics (respectively).

Himchan could care less about what those two were interested in. Rather it was someone else who’s attention Himchan was vying for.

And that person, Bang Yongguk, is engrossed in showing their youngest his new mixtape. Junhong is excitedly holding Yongguk’s headphones to his ears, grinning and bobbing his head to the beat of the music.

It isn’t that Himchan is upset that Yongguk is letting Junhong listen to what Yongguk had locked himself up in the studio working on for weeks before Himchan, who is supposed to be closest to him, because that would be petty, and Himchan isn’t petty. Not at all.

It isn’t that Himchan is upset that Yongguk is smiling at and laughing with and talking and paying attention to Junhong when he has hardly glanced at Himchan for a week now; because that would be an even more trivial thing to be mad about.

He isn’t jealous either. He isn’t. He isn’t. He isn’t. Yup. He isn't jealous and Junhong better get his hands off Yongguk before he— 

Himchan pulls his knees up to his chest, sighing heavily. 

 “Hyung,” Jongup pauses his video game. “I can’t see anymore.”

“Oh, sorry."

Jongup forgives him instantly. “It’s fine.”

Himchan slides his legs back down slowly. “Thank you,” Jongup slips his arms under Himchan’s and around his waist, giving him a slight squeeze. Flushing a light pink, Himchan reaches up to pat Jongup on the cheek, giggling softly.

Sometimes Himchan wonders why it had to be Yongguk and not Jongup, since Jongup is a complete sweetheart all the time, unlike some people he could name. 

“Aish, you’re adorable,” Himchan mumbles, oblivious to the worried looks on Youngjae and Daehyun’s faces as they gaze at their stoic leader.

They go back to focusing on Jongup’s game again, this time Himchan begins to ask questions about the actual plot, and if there was one at all (Jongup has to think about this). The younger even gives Himchan a few turns, which isn’t the best of ideas, because even sugarcoated as much as possible, Himchan is absolutely awful, and whines very loudly to Jongup when he dies for the fourth time.  

“It killed me again,” Himchan cries, pointing at the offending hairy beast that was currently flaunting its victory to the visual by standing completely still and doing nothing. How rude.  

“Don’t worry, you’ll improve,” Jongup hums, rocking Himchan back and forth. “Probably,” He adds as an afterthought, ruining whatever consolation he might have provided. Himchan pouts exaggeratedly, and Jongup pinches his waist making him gasp in mock-hurt. 

Look, Himchan thinks smugly, I can enjoy myself without you. 

“You're amazing hyung,” Junhong bursts out from the other side of the dorm, killing Himchan's fun on the spot. Jongup pets Himchan empathetically. The tall boy pulls off the headphones and hands them back to Yongguk, smiling broadly. Yongguk reciprocates, flashing his own perfect teeth, and ruffles Junhong’s platinum locks affectionately.

Stupid maknae. 

“I don’t think gaming is for me,” Himchan says shakily, handing the game back to Jongup. 

“But hyung,” Jongup grabs onto Himchan’s forearm in an attempt to keep him from leaving. The younger frowns, tugging at him rather childishly, but Himchan holds his ground, though he’s sure at any other given time Jongup could have easily pulled him right back down. 

“Jongup, don’t frown,” Himchan says cheerfully, “You’ll get wrinkles.”

Jongup looks confused.

Himchan passes Yongguk and Junhong by without a word, proud that he shows them how completely not jealous he is. Or he would have shown them, if they had been paying any mind to him at all. Yongguk has his arm slung over Junhong’s shoulder, very seriously discussing the contents of the mixtape with (and touching stop touching) the latter instead of Himchan even though Himchan knows he can offer more of an educated opinion. 

It isn’t until Himchan flops onto the bed after stalking off to his room very dramatically that he realizes there was no actual plan past this point, and he would need to entertain himself for a substantial amount of time or he’d look stupid walking back out into the living room since he made such a show thirty seconds earlier. Such is the difficult life of a drama queen. 

It is because of Himchan’s pride that he is found an hour later sleeping snuggled into the side of a body pillow and shivering because some idiot (Daehyun) was blasting the A/C in their room when it was still barely forty-five degrees outside and Himchan thought his group-mates had enough sense to not do just that. 

Obviously, it was up to Daehyun to prove him wrong. 

Another two hours after, Himchan wakes up under layers of blankets he didn’t fall asleep with, cheeks pink and tufts of hair curling in abnormal waves. He gathers the sheets up and wraps them around himself and toddles out the room.

It’s already dark out, and the members are sitting around the TV, watching one of the war movies from Yongguk’s worryingly large collection. Jongup is the first to notice him standing in the hallway and he eagerly pats the ground beside him.

Huffily, Himchan plops down next to the younger boy, who makes room for him eagerly.

“This is cute,” Jongup smiles, and tugs gently at a strand of Himchan’s hair that has chosen to defy gravity. The older beams sleepily.

"So am I," he reminds Jongup, who probably could have shoved him right then and there but he was too nice to give into those urges. 

“Sleeping beauty is finally awake,” Youngjae says mockingly.

“Miss me,” Himchan hums and runs his fingers through his hair as an actor sets off a land mine that sends many more soldiers flying. At this time, Yongguk would be making some noise to express how impressive he thought the explosion was (even though it really wasn't), but the room is oddly silent. Jongup squeezes his arm comfortingly.

“Where… where is Yongguk,” Junhong isn’t in the room either. “This is one of his favorite movies.”

“He and Junhong went out earlier.”

“Together?”

“Yes.”

“Oh,” Himchan squirms a bit. Jongup pats his leg. “Let’s change this movie then, Yongguk will be upset that we watched it without him.”

When Yongguk opens the door, the television is on, but it’s some late night news program that he didn’t know existed, and lying on the couch is Himchan.

He’s not sleeping, but he’s trying very hard to pretend he is, but Yongguk has known Himchan long enough, and intimately enough that he knows that Himchan can’t go to bed if he doesn’t know where Yongguk is (which makes him overwhelmingly happy but Yongguk's never told him that), and because Yongguk wasn’t there with him he couldn’t fall asleep in the dark, which explained why the television was still on and Himchan was watching something about stock market trends.

Good news though, some chaebol is up 0.25%.

Yongguk tosses his jacket somewhere in the vicinity of the closet, not minding that Youngjae would lecture him about keeping the dorm tidy in the morning and stumbles through the kitchen and over to Himchan.

Usually Himchan would roll over and raise his arms so Yongguk can lift him up more easily and hook his ankles around his waist and the two would go off and fall asleep in one another’s embrace, but since Yongguk doesn’t doubt that he’s upset Himchan, getting him to come to bed is going to be a challenge.

“Chan-ah.”

“ off,” okay.

“Himchan,” the man grabs onto one of the pillows tightly, like it’s going to keep Yongguk from scooping him up and taking him away. Yongguk doesn’t hesitate to pick him up, and Himchan doesn’t fight against him because he had done this once before and Yongguk pretended to drop him which put an end to any further struggling. Instead, Himchan pouts into the pillow and refuses to talk to Yongguk. 

Yongguk knows it requires next to no effort to make Himchan jealous, and his reactions are always endearing (again, not something Yongguk's shared with anyone) so he wonders if he subconsciously ignores Himchan's advances just to see him get frustrated. 

All to often, purposely or not, Yongguk's resistance goes a little to far and Himchan starts feeling like he's unwanted, and it's difficult to remind Himchan that he wouldn't want him to be any different because Himchan won't listen. 

For such a beautiful person he's got a lot of insecurities he likes to hide, and when Yongguk takes his games too far they begin to torment Himchan again and it's almost as if Yongguk's lost him. 

Yongguk sits down on the bed first, and settles Himchan in his lap facing him. Yongguk gently takes the pillow from Himchan and places it behind him on the bed, never breaking eye contact with Himchan, who sits flustered under his gaze. 

It's almost nice when Himchan is like this. He doesn't have an attitude, he won't say obnoxious things or embarrass himself and those around him. But it's not his Himchan. 

And again, he's in danger of losing him, which happens too often to be healthy. 

Yongguk is not good with words, not in cases like this, not when it's Himchan. Himchan complicates all his emotions (he didn't realize you could care for someone so much) and he's pretty sure that's a good thing. Only, it's much more difficult to express them to Himchan, and that's really where their problems seem to start. 

Any onlooker would also believe that Yongguk wasn't taking their relationship as seriously, which was fair, because what exactly did he do for Himchan? He doesn't know how to say romantic things without cringing at himself and isn't comfortable with being so touchy-feely in public, or even alone sometimes. 

"I'm sorry," It's hard for Himchan not to just melt into Yongguk's arms at the sound of his voice, with it's stupidly gorgeous depth and huskiness, it's awful.

"You should be."

"I love you."

"You're a terrible boyfriend."

"I love you," Yongguk locks eyes with Himchan, making sure the younger didn't look away. God, Himchan has such beautiful, beautiful eyes. He wonders if it's wrong to think they're almost prettier with tears in them. 

"Why do you keep doing this?"

"I love you."

"Start acting like it," Himchan half-shouts, wiping his eyes with the heel of his palm. 

"I love you," Yongguk guides Himchan's hand to his chest, right over his heart as the other's head rests in the crook of his neck. 

Feeling Yongguk's heartbeat under his fingertips should probably do something to comfort him, it's honest and warm, but more tears blur his vision. 

"You're so mean, always forgetting I'm there, choosing others over me, it's like you don't care. And I get so jealous and I hate that I do," Himchan is crying now, sobs wracking his slender frame. Yongguk hates that Himchan is trembling in his embrace, he hates that he can't seem to find his voice and tell Himchan that not a single one of those things is true.

"I love you," he tells him again, his own voice breaking. "I love you so much."

"I just— it's like it's too much to ask you to show some concern from time to time or—"

"I know," Yongguk whispers, "I know, I'm sorry."

The hands on Himchan's waist run up his sides and back, until Yongguk has his arms wrapped around him tightly and he's pulling the man flush against him. 

"I know I'm a worthless boyfriend," Himchan slowly slips his own arms around Yongguk's neck. "But I don't know what I'd do without you. You're everything to me."

Himchan doesn't respond at first, and Yongguk's not really sure which way the conversation is going to turn. 

"We'd have a problem if I wasn't," Himchan mumbles into Yongguk's shoulder making an effort to stop all the emotional sap, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. Yongguk rolls his eyes. 

Himchan's fingers trace the sides of Yongguk's face before coming to cup the older's cheeks as he leans in for a kiss. When he's satisfied, he breaks away, sitting back to appreciate Yongguk's flushed face. 

They settle into the bed, Yongguk still holding Himchan's waist possessively. 

"You should know though," he begins after a short silence, "I made that mixtape for you. Junhong was just making sure it was good, and then we went to the studio to finish it up. So there was no reason to get jealous." 

Himchan pauses his admiring of Yongguk's bare chest to blush furiously. "Oh. Thank you," he squeaks. 

Yongguk is again the one to speak first, albeit much more quietly. "So do I get make-up or..."

"Bang Yongguk don't you dare ruin this."

A/N;
 
unbeta'd

I have three things to say about this story:
1) See look I actually did write this
2) I did enjoy working on it, mostly in the beginning but...
3) That part about the A/C is basically dead giveaway that I started this when it was still cold and procrastinated until now

As always thank you for spending time to read this, and I'm terribly sorry this was not completed earlier but I hope you did like it.