Chapter 12: Empty
Story by: Jessica JungI woke up today and the clocked read 8:45. I took my phone from the bedside table and checked today's schedule but there were none. 'Oh, I it's my day off today'. As I faced the morning, I realized once again what woke me up was not you but an alarm bell. I looked at the empty space on the bed and wondered 'Why is this damn bed so big?'. I left a long sigh and walked to the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror, my reflection is so empty, as if there was nothing there, there's no smile on my face. After waking up from the dream that was you this morning of reality felt so empty.
I went to our kitchen to have breakfast but you weren't there. There was no you in a messy bun. I gave a bitter smile and put on the red apron that we brought together. I stared at the blue apron that was once yours, 'Should I throw it away?' I asked myself because you're not here anymore and you would never be here again. I made your favourite pancake but then reality hit me hard, 'Why did I make your favourite pancake?', you're not even here to taste it. It was the same pancake that I always made for you but why did it tasted different, it remebered pouring honey over it but why was it not sweet? Did I get the ingredients wrong? What was it that missing? Was it you?
How was your day? I wondered as I paced along the road of Gwanghwamun. For some reason I felt this would be a tiring day. I'm an empty shell, a coward without you. People around looked at my with pity, without you am I that pathetic? It's killing me seeing myself like this but what am I suppose to do?
I lifted my head and saw that the leaves changed colour on the side of the road. We used to shine together, you remember? but now you're not even here, I'm by myself standing in the dark. I used to be in your arms and thought that the world was mine, guess it's time for me to say goodbye to those childish days.
Today, like a fool, I was standing at the same spot. Getting wet in the rain. Waiting for you, why wouldn't you come?
I was happy as the memories of us holding hands and walking together, I looked back in case you would be standing there.
I don't know if living in this world is just about always looking for another person. As I came to this steet, filled with the aroma of chocolate that was when I finally smiled. It was the first time that someone made me that nervous. You were the only one, you were more lovable than anyone else, but why did you leave me?
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