"Why?"

was Luhan's first word the second he stepped foot inside his boyfriend for a year and three months, dorm room; his doe-like eyes never leaving the unmoving lump on the bed as he leaned onto the door he just closed, he feels like he's going to faint any second from the pain inside his chest yet his face void any emotion. 

the boy lying on the bed moved; sitting upright, leaning his back on the head board of his single-sized bed as he crossed his arms against his chest. He stared at the shorter boy still standing near his door as if he's ready to run away any second now.

"Sehun." Luhan whispered, this time his voice shaky that he had to bit his lower lip to keep them from trembling, because it hurts so damn much, its killing him. 

The boy named Sehun, sighed. "I didn't expect you to find it out this soon, hyung. Knowing you, you'll be so busy reading books about some literature bull. I am honestly impressed." he mocked, smirking as he raised his left brow, taunting the older boy even more. 

Luhan hung his head low, both hands grasping the hem-line of the oversized hoodie he was wearing; Sehun's hoodie. 

"w-why?" he asked the second time, voice barely a whisper but Sehun heard him clear. 

"why!? you are asking me why!? I want this relationship to end Luhan. This is not what I expected when I started to approach you. I want more."

"you wanted more that's why you started cheating behind my back?" this time, Luhan didn't bother to hide the pain he's feeling as he let his tears fall from his eyes. 

"Sehun-ah, i gave you my everything. Wasn't it enou -"

"you did not gave me anything Luhan. i am your second priority on everything. you'll choose your damn books over me. so what's the point huh? i regret ever lovin -"

"d-don't say it." Luhan cutted him off. body shaking from crying silently as he watched the anger reflecting onto Sehun's dark brown irises. 

Sehun's reply was a scoff. Rolling his eyes at the stupid look of the other. 

"a-a month ago you said you love me and will be together as long as time per -" 

Luhan stop when Sehun stood from his bed, rainbow- colored hair unkempt but for the older boy, Sehun is still the most gorgeous. the younger yet taller boy walked towards Luhan, face blank. 

"i lied that day. i was hoping you would change but you didn't". he said as he stop few feet away from the angelic-looking boy. 

"i am wiliing to change if only you're honest enough to tell me ho -"

"to tell you what? huh? to tell you how much i hate it when you forget me when you're being busy with your books? when i am so ing sick drinking bubble tea?" he scoffed, eyes showing hatred than love that Luhan was so accustomed to see. 

"if you're in my place you'll want me to change too". 

"I won't". Luhan abruptly answered, halting Sehun from turning around half way.

"what did you say?" he asked, voice laced with anger at the older boy's answer. 

The feminine-looking student clumsily wiped his tear-stained face. "I am never going to ask you to change just for me, Sehun. I fell inlove with you that way. why would I ask for something that is not you?"

the younger student was silent for a moment, face showing disbelief as he stared at the other boy in front of him. "you are not me Luhan. I am not some boring who happen to choose reading that he  -"

"I love what i am doing". Luhan said, shaking his head as it dawn on him that he can do nothing to save the relationship he had wished every single day to never end.

"and I ing hate everything you love to do! honestly, if I only knew from the beginning that you're like this, I wouldn't have pursue you. I sometimes wonder why I fell for you and the only answer I know is because of your damn pretty face." he spatted as he stared at the other fiercely. Sehun watched as Luhan's lean frame trembled as fresh tears started to fall from those doe-like eyes that he used to love.

He did tried to hold on to the relationship he and Luhan have but everything has its own limit. and this is his. He just found out that Luhan was not his type; the smart, silent, always kind and understands everything he does may it be right or wrong. It's also the reason why it was so easy for him to cheat, for three months he cheated behind his back. 

and Sehun regretted nothing except loving Luhan. 

"I'm sorry." he heard that woke him from his reverie. Luhan was already a foot away from him and Sehun panicked, he wanted to end this now. 

"i don't want to fix this relatio -"

"i'm sorry you fell in love with me even for a while" and Sehun didn't know why his chest tightened upon hearing those words coming from Luhan.

He was frozen when Luhan reached out to him, holding his left hand with his own and bringing it to his lips, kissing it softly and pressing it to his right cheek gently like it is the most precious thing in the world. 

Sehun watched Luhan cry silently as he held onto his hand and he didn't know why it hurts when it's not the first time he saw him shed tears because of his own fault.. 

but when Luhan opened his eyes showing raw pain despite love still being there, Sehun already knew the answer but for the first time he wasn't able to say what he wants.

He was still unmoving when Luhan gently lowered and released his hand before moving closer to wrap his thin arms around his neck, pulling him lower so he could press their foreheads together. 

"Shi Xun." 

and Sehun's breathing hitched from the way Luhan dearly called his name from his mother language, something that Luhan never does except if he wanted Sehun to know how serious and sincere he is. 

"please remember that someone in your past love you more than himself. I love you. I everyday will."

and with a quick but soft press of their lips, 

Luhan left.