You'd always ask me
How come you never say I love you
Do you really love me

But you know
I wanted something more sweeter
I want to confess to you
Just like those lovers
From movies so that you won't forget

(Wonder Girls – Saying I Love You)

ooooOOooo

 

A hansome and tall guy named Cho KyuHyun used to be stoic. Never once he let his feeling leaked out, simply because he’s too afraid and shy to express it. Despite the snarky and cold attitude, actually he’s a warm hearted man, he take care the one that he loves silently.

 

His brown eyes never leave his cute bunny, Lee SungMin. But still, he can’t say the words that SungMin had longed to hear. The doe like eyes staring him hopefully but his voice can’t find a way to escape.

 

All he can do is only staring back, as if trying to tell his SungMin a silent message by his eyes.

 

Please… SungMin, wait… A little more, let me gather all my courage. Then I’m going to shout the three words that you’ve been longing for so long. But not now… I’m not ready yet.

 

He returned to be a kid that afraid to something that sounds ridiculous, take a monster on wardrobe that will hop out and eat him alive in the night as a sample.

 

KyuHyun afraid that once he said those three words, SungMin will be disappear or turn his back. Same as his mother did, sister did, all people that he considered as treasure did. He said it easily to others because they’re nothing compared to SungMin, he can live his life without them but not without Lee SungMin.

 

A bitter smile crept on his handsome face yet in the same time another drop of tears also fall. KyuHyun never thought that one day SungMin will left him, even in his scariest never did it happen. But what goes around comes around and it comes today.

 

I’m so stupid. If only he knew the reason. If only he knew how much I loves him until it difficult to breath now.

 

KyuHyun was speechless and his heart beat multiple times faster than normal when the cute boy with red cheeks and shy smile decorate on his face confessed a year ago.

 

“KyuHyun Ssi… I… I like you… Err… I mean I… I like really like you.” He found the stuttered SungMin were so cute and he has to fight the urge to pinch the chubby cheeks. “I like you so much… Uh…No, I love you. Would you… I mean… I know we are both boy but would you…”

 

Forced to hear the entire school confessing their feeling towards him is a common thing for the popular KyuHyun, but coming from this certain person, it’s totally different.

 

Maybe SungMin couldn’t remember, but KyuHyun already fell for him when the latter was helped him to treat his wound after a small fight with a numbers of senior because of his sharp tongue and snarkiness. SungMin simply said the freshman had nothing to do with the messy on the groups of jerk face when the teacher asked him.

 

The way those small fingers touched his face, the way of the pair eyes looked up to him with gentleness, yet the soft voice scolded him sternly, the sweet scent that calmed KyuHyun's nerves.

 

Maybe this is how it feels like to have someone taking care of you. Like a mother did to her beloved child.

 

Yes, it’s unusual to comparing a male with a figure of mother but KyuHyun can’t help. He just closed his eyes and cherished the moment.

 

It’s been too long since the last time somebody had treated him that nice. Treating him nice not because of his family name, not because of his family background. All this time he learn that all ‘I love yous’ that directed to him were fake. It made KyuHyun more and more concealed his real self inside his stoic shell.

 

But this stranger affection were real, somehow he can felt the sincerity. And he found himself attached to SungMin until he run to begging at ChangMin to help him checking the former identity. KyuHyun’s eyes glued to the older yet look younger each time SungMin walked in to the canteen or can be seen in the library.

 

Soon KyuHyun found himself attached not because the older had similar aura with a caring mother figure but simply because he is Lee SungMin. His serious face, how his bang falls to his eyes, how SungMin will remove his glasses to clean it then returned them to his pointed nose. He likes every little thing about this boy.

 

“I see…” He cut SungMin words halfway.

 

“And that’s means? Will you accept my feeling?”

 

How KyuHyun loves the way that black orbs glint happily when he said will give both of them a try. There’s no way he will rejected his crush confession. And he made mental note that he won’t let whoever made those sparkle gone from the beautiful orbs.

 

What Cho KyuHyun declared that Cho KyuHyun done.

 

Anyone (he did not care about gender) that dare to laid hands on his bunny had to taste his sweet revenge. Violent never exist in his vocabulary so he take another way. And the entire SM high didn’t dare to pick SungMin up after one of the queenkas moved to another town immediately after encountered by KyuHyun.

 

But in the end he is gone. All I did for him can’t make him stayed. The one that made those glint disappear is me, my selves. The unspeakable words still here, in my heart up to my throat and stuck there.

 

KyuHyun can’t think straight, his grade dropped. He still looks stoic but if you paid more attention, his eyes were dull.

 

“Just tell him how much you love him.” One of few people that he considered as friend, ChangMin, tried to convince him for the umpteenth time but KyuHyun did not bulge.

 

“I can’t…”

 

“You stubborn~! How could he knew your feeling if all you did was acted distant!?”

 

No answer.

 

KyuHyun mind went blank because the certain person was passed by, bunch of paper on his embraced and looks in hurry.

 

Curious mixed with worried, he followed him without make a sounds, ChangMin on other hands only shakes his head.

 

The bunch of paper made SungMin can’t see well till he missed to step one of the stairs to the upper floor. As a reflex, he tried to hold any solid object to steadying his body but not avail. His eyes grew in panic.

 

Upon seeing this, KyuHyun immediately bring his leg and try to prevent the petite body from fall. He did not care that his head had to collide hard to the floor for the sake of doing it. To protecting the one that he love.

 

ooooOOooo

 

You ask me what's to hesitate about
Is it that hard
I want to hear what you got to say

But you know
I wanted something more special
I wanted a special day that I can always remember

 

ooooOOooo

 

“Umma~” a little boy ran through a big victorian style house in the rush with roses on his right hand. He ran to hug his mother waist as soon as he saw her and then he presented the beautiful roses with a grin. “Umma, for youw, happwie mwother dway~”

 

“Don’t touch me! Don’t call me Umma! I’m not your Umma!”

 

The lady swatted the little body from her waist, did not even bother that the kid were trembled in fear and in urge to cry.

 

“Umma, Kyu gwet the roses bwy himself. Pwese take a lwook.”

 

“What is this? No need to give me those ugly flower, and I am NOT you Umma.”

 

“But…”

 

Young KyuHyun tried to follow the beautiful lady and insist to present the roses that he gather one by one by himself because he know his mother loves roses. He didn’t care that his hands bleeding on the process.

 

In the end, Mrs. Cho gave up and take the roses, earned ear to ear smile on the four years old face.

 

“I take it. Happy?”

 

“Yes, Umma.” He answered innocently.

 

“But I hate seeing you happy.” With that Mrs. Cho threw the roses carelessly on the floor and step on it by her high heels. Each step stabbed little KyuHyun’s heart.

 

“I wish you’re dead like your ty mother. You’re unwanted here.”

 

And she left the crying kid with satisfied smirk.

Mrs. Cho can’t let his husband child with other woman, popped up from nowhere, called her ‘Umma’ and taken her daughter place as the heir of Cho Inc, smile happily. She felt bitter, hurt and betrayed till the point she didn’t give a damn that she hurt an innocent kid's heart. A innocent kid that lost his mother and loves Mrs. Cho as his own mother.

 

Everyday little KyuHyun would tried to impressing Mrs. Cho, but everything he did never seems right in her eyes. It’s always her daughter that the best, the only one that nice to him were his father. But it’s not enough for KyuHyun.

 

He felt envious to his friends that talked about their mother, sometimes complained about their mother cook but showed contented smile when their mother picked them up in the kindergarden. He felt envious that his friends would fight with their sibling then make up by a simple ‘I’m sorry or I love you’.

 

Little KyuHyun finally tired and gave in. He was tired telling how much he loves his mother and sister to be swatted harshly in the end. And his father was too busy taking care of his business. He felt lonely. No one cared about him.

 

And there, the stoic and expressionless Cho KyuHyun was born. He prefer not involved with emotion called ‘Love’ than get hurt again.

Until he meet Lee SungMin.

 

ooooOOooo

 

The first thing gusted into his brain when KyuHyun opened his eyes is the infirmary classical smell. After a few blink of eyelashes, another thing or maybe another name plug in, SungMin. He sat up in one motion but soon groaned in pain, it feels like a thousand needles stabbed the back of his head.

 

“KyuHyun….”

 

The soft voice that he loves the most now hoarse, like the owner got a hard cold.

 

“KyuHyun, are you alright?”

 

“SungMin….”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Are you alright?” KyuHyun brushed the raven bang of his beloved.

 

“That’s my line.”

 

I’m alright as long as you are alright.

 

As usual, KyuHyun just keep silent and the older male hair in lovingly way.

 

“Don’t do that again.”

 

“What?”

 

“You scared me to the death. You didn’t know how I felt when I saw you unconscious. I thought I’ll lose you.”

 

Droplets of tears escaped from the corner of doe eyes and KyuHyun moved the back of his hands to the pale cheeks. He kissed each SungMin’s eyelid to stop the tears and it’s worked. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be. The one that should sorry is me. I am sorry for being selfish. Sorry that I was so oblivious, I was blind like a bat. I didn’t see the love that shone in your eyes. Maybe I sound too confident but words can’t emphasize how much you care about me. And I'm so stupid to realized it now.”

 

“SungMin…”

 

“My heart belong to you. Maybe it’s too late, but would you mind to taking me back?”

 

SungMin take the warm hands that rest on his cheeks and bring it to his lips, kissing each finger and then playing with it nervously.

 

“But I can’t give what you longing for.”

 

“I’ll do it. I’ll say the three words for us. I promised that I will stay still by your side, unless you didn’t want me to.” Slowly, SungMin let go of KyuHyun hands, even if deep down he didn’t want to let go. But if KyuHyun didn't want him anymore, he won't force him.

 

“No…” KyuHyun grab SungMin hands and once again a tears fall from the swollen eyes of the latter. The one word enough for him to tell that KyuHyun also didn’t want to let go. SungMin didn’t need any words anymore. KyuHyun’s action, KyuHyun’s eyes that showed affection tell him already.

 

I love you, SungMin ah…

 

“Thank you, KyuHyun ah. I love you more.” He replied as he had heard KyuHyun thought.

 

SungMin snuggle into the bed and to KyuHyun warm embrace, feeling this is the place he belong to be. While KyuHyun rubbed his back in circle and hummed a lullaby.

 

The steady breath of his SungMin is the lullaby itself for KyuHyun and both drifted into neverland. Feel peace and complete. Their heartbeat and breath danced in one harmony.

 

ooooOOoooo

HE HAS MADE EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL IN ITS TIME…. (Ecclesiastes 3 : 11)

ooooOOoooo

 

I am really sorry for the grammatical error, since it’s already 1AM and I’m dead tired to editing. I am so sorry. *bow*

Please check the last chapter or I better call it the epilogue? :D