“Hea Jung!”

 

“Yeah?” She walked into the kitchen, shrugging off her backpack and immediately taking off her school cardigan that had kept her a little too warm in the oncoming summer air.

 

Her mother smiled at her. “Your acceptance letter.”

 

Hea Jung’s heart skipped a beat. “My… what?”

 

“Your acceptance letter.” Her mother repeated, still smiling. “From Riverside. Cali.”

 

“Oh,” Hea Jung forced a smile. “I made it in?” She said weakly, with disbelief.

 

“Yes!” Her mother wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her in a hug. Hea Jung could smell the familiar scent of her mother; the warm vanilla and hint of spicy cinnamon, swirling with the faint scent of fresh soap. “I’m so proud of you, Hea.” She said affectionately, pulling away. “I knew you would make it.”

 

Hea Jung nodded. “Um…. yeah. Thanks, Mom.”

 

“You don’t seem happy?”

 

She forced a wider smile. “No, no. I’m really happy…. Just a little shocked, that is.”

 

“Okay.” Her mother was still grinning. Giving her a light kiss on the cheek and a pat on the back, she walked away, humming to herself as she left the kitchen.

 

Dejected, Hea Jung picked up her backpack and headed up to her room.

 

As always, the first thing she saw was him. She let herself lean back and fall back on her bed, looking up at his picture.

 

Oh, L…  I really wish I could tell you everything.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You’re late, Miss Kim.”

 

“It’s only a minute!”

 

The professor shook his head at her. “You wouldn’t be late for a concert, though. Take a seat.”

 

Rolling her eyes, Hea Jung sat on the black piano bench.

 

“Do you have the music?”

 

She reached into her backpack and pulled out her music binder, carefully placing Rachmaninoff’s Concerto No. 2 on the stand.

 

“Now, play.”

 

She lifted her hands to the keys and gently ran her fingers over the first two octaves, familiarizing herself with the keys.

 

She began.

 

Her left hand started out, gently starting out with D minor arpeggios, filling up the background as her right hand started to play too, the B flat ringing out boldly. She played more and more, feeling the music flow around her. She wound herself up in the magic of the musical piece, her upper body moving to the dance of her nimble fingers.

 

She reached the second part of the piece and closed her eyes, allowing the music to overwhelm her and take over every inch of her being.

 

I can’t help it, this is what I want to do. I can’t do anything else, because music was meant for me.

 

I’m sorry….

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I got my acceptance yesterday, I’m heading back to Canada for architecture.”

 

Hea Jung smiled, happy for her friend, Violet.

 

“Did you hear back from anything yet, Hea?” Violet asked, peering into her locker mirror to check her frizzy brown curls.

 

“I….No. No, I didn’t.”

 

“Oh, that .” Violet said dramatically, running her tube of lip gloss lightly over her lips before slamming her locker shut. “Aren’t you working on something with the music prof, though?”

 

Hea Jung shrugged. “Well… I have to re-audition for Julliard. I made it through to the second round of auditions.”

 

Violet stopped walking and narrowed her eyes at her. “Didn’t your parents want you to go into business or law school?”

 

She looked away. “I just auditioned to see if I could get in…. More of like a for fun thing, you know? I don’t even know why I bothered doing it; it probably wasn’t worth sneaking out and lying to my mom.”

 

“You never told me!” Her friend exclaimed, smiling. “You know I’d help you sneak out. And besides, I’m glad you applied for Julliard.” She shook her head. “It’s music you have to go for, not something you don’t like. You’ll only do well in something if you have the passion for it. Your parents are too blind to your talent.”

 

“I guess….”

 

“Does Jae know about this?”

 

Hea Jung paused. “What does he have to do with anything?”

 

Violet elbowed her in the side not-so-subtly. “He’s your boyfriend.”

 

“What? No, he’s not!” Hea Jung responded hotly. “I don’t like him that way. It’s strictly just friends.”

 

Violet poked her friend’s forehead. “God, you’re so dumb. Can’t you tell? It’s so obvious he has a thing for you.”

 

“Trust me, there isn’t anything going on between the two of us.”

 

They resumed walking.

 

Violet sighed. “Sure, sure.” She laughed lightly. “I feel that it’s unhealthy for a girl to have gone through her entire life, and is almost going to university, to never have had a crush on anyone before.” She looked over at Hea Jung pointedly. “You haven’t even had a date.”

 

“Crushes are dumb.”

 

“Don’t you get it, Hea? You missed out on your childhood, it’s a rite of passage for you to experience love before you turn twenty and all adult-ey.”

 

Hea Jung just shook her head and smiled, without saying anything in response.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Love…. What is love, anyway?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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