Pain.

This was one of the troublesome feelings that refused to leave my heart. Because a part of me wasn’t made to have a free will. This same half of my being was selflessly dedicated to others. I had no natural rights to seek for neither contentment or satisfaction. Even love was refused to me. That’s maybe why Angels had never been seen smiling.

Comfort.

This would probably be the last thing I would ever experience in my life, much to my displeasure. How did it even feel to smile? Why were smiles sometimes said to be ‘contagious’? I always wondered. Because the other half of me kept on yielding for happiness. I hated my loneliness, and yet, there was nothing I could do about it, no matter how I wished I had someone to talk to.

Yes, as incoherent as I might sound, I am indeed both altruistic and selfish. As the daughter of a female Guardian, I inheritated her gentleness and clemency. My father, on the other hand, as a fallen angel, left me his rebellious personality and his desire to change the world.

I embodied both Good and Evil. It was a part of me. Or perhaps should I say it was me being naturally divided? Look at me playing with words. As if it was going to change anything…

No matter how I despised the idea, the fact remained that my soul was an entity composed of two fragments. My parents’ legacy, whose only sin had been love itself. Never in their lives must have they imagined the terrible punishment they would have to face for this mistake nor the rage of Wang Haneul, the King of Heaven, respectfully referred to as Sangje by the sixty four Guardians, his own sons and daughters. The same person who raised me as his own daughter, despite the fact that I remained a mistake. My parents’ outrage to his almighty authority.

He was a gentle, wise and understanding man, his softly wrinkled face forever frozen in his fifties. However, having lived alone by his side for almost twenty years now, I was able to tell he wasn’t flawless. He wasn’t perfect. And I admired him for not denying it. Yet, I could never forget what he did, let alone forgive his impulsive action.

If there was a rule a Guardian should always follow, it was to never upset Sangje. When half of his children, who he had shaped with his own hands, decided to leave him to built what was now called the City of Angels, he had forgiven them. He had deprived them of their Guardian status, preventing them to ever come back or even approach the loyal, remaining Guardians. But he had let them be, despite their disgraceful rebellion. What he had been far from expecting, though, was my birth.

I was the cause of this disaster. I was the cause of my own loneliness. I was both the criminal and the victim. I was both the arrow and the target. I was the last one and I was alone.

I felt something tracing a fire line on my cheekbone, slowly, as if my own tear had decided to taunt me. In a sharp movement, the back of my hand swept it away from my cheek. Just like that, I was back to reality, back to where I was currently sitting.

After almost two weeks of getting used to the life on Earth, I came to the conclusion that the school rooftop was the better place to rest my mind. Indeed, rare were the people who came here. I didn’t know why. Maybe they were scared of heights, maybe they prefered to be stuck in between those suffocating blank walls. Or maybe I was being the odd one out.

I didn’t hate my classmates, and I’m sure they didn’t either. I was simply uncomfortable with them because they kept eyeing me as if I was an unsolved mystery, as if they couldn’t struggle against this magnetic attraction I offered them each times their eyes landed on me. It was the first time I had so much people around me and I was now sure that I didn’t like being the center of attention. They didn’t know who I was nor what I was. Only the teachers did. And it was definitely better like this. They didn’t need to know.

However, they knew that, somehow, I was special. Because in this school, everyone was. Because it wasn’t just any school. The building under my feet was full of exceptional beings. There is no need for me to further explain my point, I’m sure you know what I mean.

Despite this uncommon environment, the students were absolutely no different from Human ones. They had the same interest in friendship, in love, and of course in being at the top of the food chain. Which I found quite despicable. I could understand that some people gave their best to improve but I was having a hard time putting up with selfish people who had no qualm about tearing others down in order to make their way to success.

I looked up when I felt a light tickle on my pale, right wrist. My eyes were soon greeted with o