Early morning has never been his most favorite time. He loves his sleep and embraces any given time he gets to indulge it to the fullest, especially on weekends. So, when he needs to be up as early as he always has been on weekdays and is drinking his cereal energy drink in substitute of the molded bread and in hiding coffee beans with such a big happy smile, he deems himself insane. Blind, random credits can be given to nice morning weather, the next door orange tabby that decides to spare his last pot of European strawberry without any digging, or maybe even to the imaginary little birds that seem to greet everybody in romance novel. Nice try because attempt as he might, he can’t not know about the reason that has been keeping him on his toes since the past few days.

Honest to God, he did imagine the day they will meet again. Call him sappy, but he kinds of have these scenarios where they will bump into each other at the mall, both too speechless to say anything for a few seconds maybe, pointing fingers to each other if the meeting is not awkward. A restaurant also makes his imagination; he is ordering when someone stops beside his table and gives a couple of knocks over his menu, he looks up, gets the smile he misses so much. Sometimes he imagines a park with a fountain while he is walking his dog –a species he is still trying to accept as harmless and man best friend-, and sits under a tree reminiscing the good ol’ days. More importantly, all these scenarios are supposed to happen a lot than few years later, involving Woohyun carrying a child -probably two- or pushing a stroller. Most expectedly walking side by side his wife because even if the mere thought makes him want to cry a river. But this is supposed to happen way later in the years so his heart is expected to be healed by then.

Reality is almost an alternate universe that makes him questions the ground he is standing.

Freelancing as a certified auditor since a couple of months ago, Sunggyu is used to working with people he knows only by name. It’s easier to not get attached to anything since he learns it a hard way how torturous it has felt when he keeps on denying the attachment he once idiotically coaxes himself to believe that he is not in, even going as far as planning a three months retreat of some sort just so he can come back and admire from afar. How the wheel of fate rolls, he is not sure, but coming face to face with a certain Nam Woohyun again when he is about to be sure that he is most probably ready to move on is surely one joke the wheel must have accidentally plays on him.

Woohyun had spared him a surprise look that matched Sunggyu’s and instantly, Sunggyu knew he was trapped between taking a giant leap out of the room or trying to stand his ground to face reality. He wasn’t ready for reality, not when it ambushed him like this. Moreover, the choices were hard regardless of which he ended up opting. Nonetheless, his legs brilliantly betrayed him, just like the fluttering in his heart and unconsciously, Sunggyu kept walking in. He was stupid, much like years ago. To his defense though, it wasn’t much of an option back then when he decided to just keep the “best friend” label and cheered Woohyun in every flings and relationships the man got into, because the fact was he was too in love being the one Woohyun ended up turning to more than he did to any of his girls (and his many other friends) regardless of situations. Also not forgetting, the first and foremost, that he was undoubtedly smitten by the man way too deep.

But that morning when he thought he was late for his first day at the new company and was rushing to the elevator, months only after they parted ways, something in him welled up with urge to keep staring at that face. Nam Woohyun was perfect in his eyes, as he always was and no doubt would always be. Nothing changed in that matter and Sunggyu was not at all unhappy. He didn’t realize it before but now that the man was in front of him, he remembered how much he had been missing him, and them (doing nothing worth remembering most of the time such as drinking at a local bar whose owner had a thing on people’s , speaking nonsense or maybe not speaking at all, walking around the city, checking for anything new and buying things they didn’t really want –to name a few). It was great time and seeing Woohyun beckoned the feeling of loss to its greatest. Too bad absence did not make the heart fonder for Woohyun as the eyes only took a second before twisting into an abyss of dark coldness. Too cold in fact that he thought he was stepping into a lion’s den and risking ever coming out alive. It wasn’t a good feeling at all.

He didn’t know why he decided to take the first step, or why he had decided to go and introduce himself. He really couldn’t fathom what had possessed him to do what he did because the minute Woohyun captured his palm and whispered his name so coldly, Sunggyu wanted to run away as far as he could. He almost clung on Hongbin, the one who Soryong had introduced him to yesterday when the brunet joined their dinner and told about the misery of audit weeks, when the handsome man crab-walked towards the door with his friend but the two was too fast. Too scared of all the what-ifs, Sunggyu devotedly stared the carpeted floor and chanted a children song under his breath to help him find calm.

It’s funny now that he thinks about it, and highly embarrassing.

Today, Saturday to be exact, he stands in front of the full body mirror right beside his shoe cupboard, checking his straightened hair, contact lenses that not only helps his vision but also make his irises a tad bit browner than they actually are, the black button down that is only buttoned in the middle of his torso which helps to show the grey shirt inside and the jeans he believes not too casual for a visit to the office. He leans closer and blinks to check the black kohl drawn along the line of his eyes. It was Sungyeol’s idea right during their first meeting.

He thought Sungyeol was messing with him but few days later when Daeryong took him to Sungyeol’s workplace (because Soryong suddenly had work and couldn’t take Sunggyu to another one of the city tours that day and Daeryong was more than happy to Sunggyu –which annoyed Soryong so much but he couldn’t do anything but relented) to fetch the latter, Sunggyu’s doubt took an abrupt change. Who is he to question the man who works in the fashion industry? Which is also why, about two weeks after getting more acquainted with Sungyeol, Sunggyu’s wardrobe –to quote- ‘magnificently glorified’ with Designer Lee Sungyeol’s brand –Yeol(L). And also forced-agreed into stocking eyeliners and somehow threatened into promising that the kohl shall never be excluded in Sunggyu’s daily life.

Sunggyu nods to his reflection in proud satisfaction at the success of tracing his eyes into a perfect draw that would give him a thumb up from Sungyeol-seongsaengnim. He keeps everything simple after the success with his eyes, no extreme make up because one, that’s overdoing it and two, he will need another class with Sungyeol. His eyes move lower, checking his attire once again when suddenly sudden nervousness rushes through his thoughts.

Woohyun won’t think he is trying anything, will he? Then again, why would he, especially after the whole day of absolute disregard of his existence from the man in question.

Woohyun had changed, he knew on the very first day of the unexpected reunion after his head and emotion calmed. The guy was so serious that Sunggyu wondered if this was an evil twin that he never heard about. Woohyun barely spoke and if it was only on him, Sunggyu wouldn’t be so perplexed. This new Woohyun brushed his colleagues off with sharp comments, shut their mouths with only his stares, void of any emotion a lot of time and most noticeable of all, he never smiled. Sunggyu was itching to question this change after lunch with Gain and her three friends (Yubin, Seohyun and Yoseob) after hearing all sorts of tales regarding a version of Woohyun he never once encountered throughout the five years of friendship. Sure, Woohyun had temper, moody too at times, but Woohyun would never close himself from anyone to this extreme.

What had happened in those five months that they didn’t meet? Does marriage do this to him? Is being married that bad? Those are among the questions prominently reigning his thoughts. He wondered how he should approach the subject without sounding nosy or overly interested when he stepped into Woohyun’s office later that day. Sunggyu didn’t want to appear too caring even if he was burning with worry so he told himself that he was just curious as a friend -or probably former friend now- so after some contemplating in front of the messy cupboard, he asked Gain if he could make a drink. Gain was eager to make him one but Sunggyu insisted that he would be fine because she wouldn’t know how to make it to fit Woohyun’s taste (even if in reality Sunggyu was just so eager to feed his own need of wanting Woohyun to drink what he made). He placed the hot chocolate, Woohyun’s favorite drink even though the man refused to admit it, and waited by the small table until someone named Gikwang came and asked him to fill some papers as the new contracted employee. When he came back to the office, all thoughts flew out the window at the sight of napping Woohyun with a mug cradled dearly to his chest and threatening to spill the leftover. Sunggyu couldn’t help his heart from skipping warmly to the familiar scene.

He had succumbed to his own greed when a meaningless quest of peeling those tight fingers around the mug turned into an almost cuddling session and Sunggyu felt complete again. It wasn’t until Kwanghee’s sudden intrusion that Sunggyu was brought back to the reality and flung the poor man away and dashed to the storage cupboard. His heart were beating violently loud through his hearing that he almost missed the naughty tone when Woohyun rejected Kwanghee’s plan when he was forcing the loud man out. Sunggyu didn’t comment –afraid that he was just imagining things- and instead did his best to do what he was hired for, all the while reprimanding his fickleness.

Falling into Woohyun’s arm like a clumsy buffoon that he is was not part of the “Woohyun is work, stay away stupid emotion” mindset he had been brainwashing himself for the past few hours of the silence they shared. He was glad that Woohyun commented nothing and so while in the elevator –which, if he might add, moving down far too slowly for his withering energy, Sunggyu made it a goal to distance himself from Woohyun as much as he could. Who’d knew the man would insist on taking him home after forgetting that Sunggyu couldn’t drive (how could Woohyun forget about that? Had he forgotten why Sunggyu chose not to take the second part of the driving test too?), even going as far as grabbing him with a gaze that gave Sunggyu so much mixed signals.

Maybe if Soryong didn’t come and pull him away, Sunggyu would have some time to decipher that gaze. But Soryong arrived so unexpectedly and all Sunggyu could see on Woohyun’s face was anger and frustration, before it turned completely cold once again. Sunggyu didn’t know what he was supposed to do when Soryong laced their fingers and pulled him to the curb where Soryong’s car was waiting. A part of him wanted to turn around but another part of him begged him to not. He chose the latter, reasoning that he would still have a chance to see Woohyun once in the car while waiting for Soryong to take his seat. The chance was never there because Woohyun was already gone when he looked.

Sunggyu didn’t know what triggered the ignore button in Woohyun but the whole of yesterday had never made Sunggyu felt so lonely and sad. There Woohyun was, sitting only a few feet away from him and yet he didn’t even get as much as grunt or at least look at his way when he was telling the latter about the empty inventory section from a file of a project dated a year ago. It felt as if he was just one of the furniture in Woohyun’s office and the cold air from the AC didn’t make him feel any better. What hurts more was when Woohyun talked to Minhyuk normally, even letting Kwanghee dragged him to somewhere Sunggyu was too hurt to remember. He thought Woohyun would start asking about Soryong since both never met and he was ready to explain the ‘knight’ thing too or maybe the ‘jagiya’ –just because-, but…

The initial good mood slowly dissipates and Sunggyu can feel gloom slowly encasing his whole being. Why is he surprised though since he has been expecting this from the very beginning of knowing who he is going to work with? He bets Woohyun just remembers that he is angry at Sunggyu and yesterday is the man’s way of stressing the fact. Yes, he thinks Woohyun will be angry at him, the person who almost destroys his best friend’s marriage to a good girl. And yes, he still can’t stop from blaming himself for not holding his ground and denying whatever feeling he has on when Woohyun was forcing the truth out of him. If only he had just stayed quiet. If only he had just calmly refute. If only he didn’t love Woohyun so much.

If only he doesn’t love Woohyun so much.

His eyes snap open and his fingers angrily destroy the once neatly combed hair. Glaring at his reflection, Sunggyu runs back into his room and pulls out a little black box. He eyes the few assortment of earrings and decides to fill them all on all of his piercings. Cupping his neck a few moments later, Sunggyu heaves out a long sigh, forefinger touching the triplet red star earring on his left lobe. ‘The star will protect you from heartbreak’ –was what Sungjong said. The look he gave the boy who made the hole to his ears –literally- must have been funny because Sungjong laughed so much. But when he was paying for the service later, Heechul, the boy’s older brother and also the owner of “HotMess” leaned in and whispered ‘Jongie wasn’t lying’.

Sunggyu decides that today will be the day this triplet star does its magic aside from just being a pretty accessory. He recollects the few files he brought home last night and heads for the elevator after locking his door.

‘Woah there,’

‘Sorry,’ Sunggyu quickly apologizes for his rashness of rushing in once the elevator’s door open and pastes his back to the closest corner. When