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First real heartbreak will break you more than you've ever thought it would. They should've warned me this before falling in love with you. I still would've made the same choice though. I would still love you, choose you and fight for you even after you've turned your back from me, that's just how much I'm in love with you.

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It came as a shock to me.

I thought we we're okay. I thought despite the recent fights, despite the misunderstandings, we will work things out. That's what we always did. I know you need time to think, you need time to breathe, you need time away from me. 

Don't you remember our promise to each other? We promised we'll go through it all. The joy, the happiness, the sadness and the pain. I thought we will go through all of it together. You made me think that way. You made me think you'll never leave me. That you'll always be right beside me. 

I thought no matter how difficult things get I could handle it. All of it. As long as you're with me. But where are you now? Where's the never ending love you promised me? Were your promises really made to be broken?

The night you said "Goodbye" was the most excruciating time of my life. I could still feel it. I could still feel how it felt inside my chest. The burning hole slowly cutting through my whole being. Eating me up alive. I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating. It was a winter night too. The cold touching my skin felt more like flame, ready to devour my body and my soul.

Even with my eyes closed I could not stop my tears from flowing. My body was shaking. From the shock or rather from the pain. I don't know. All I knew was that it felt like I was dying. I thought if I could make myself fall asleep, I wouldn't feel it. That it would stop hurting even for a second. But it didn't. 

And it still hasn't stopped till now. 

You said you will come back when you're ready. Will you really? Should I keep on waiting? Should I keep this pain inside of me? Or should I try to forget you?

Forget us? 

That's impossible. The more I try to push the thought of you to the back of my head, the bigger and worse the burning hole in my chest gets. But I'm tired of crying. I lost control of it already. Tears just flow whenever a single tiny thing reminds me of you and the sad thing is, everything reminds me of you.

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Before even writinng who it was for, Taeyeon put her pen down, wiped her tears, scrunched the letter and threw it to Ginger to chew on. But the little black puffy dog just stared at it then back her.

"Stupid Ginger." she picked her dog up from the floor and hugged him. At least she knows he would never leave her side.

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Change of mind, change of plan. On-going fic this shall be.