Even though he's the leader of the hottest group in Asia, with millions of fans around the world, sometimes Joonmyun likes having someone to look up to. (But he’s not always quite sure how to express it.)

"To the one who respects me, Chen. When I hear your high notes, I feel electricity run through my body." It's been almost a year since he laid his feelings bare on Sukira. Everyone had laughed at Joonmyun's cheesiness, but he was simply expressing his feelings the only way he knew how: through a sappy letter read aloud on a national radio program. He was pleased by how Jongdae had gripped his shoulder and flashed him a warm grin, but it wasn’t quite enough. Joonmyun wasn't sure if the message had completely gotten through.

Joonmyun cherishes the unchoreographed songs, such as “Run” from their latest album, because it gives him the opportunity to wrap his arm around Jongdae's shoulder or tangle their fingers together without the fear of rejection. The skinship is easily chalked up as fanservice, but Joonmyun doesn't mind. Even if the feelings aren’t real, Joonmyun can’t help but feel a tingle in his stomach and a flutter in his heart at every touch. And when Jongdae is the one reaching out to touch Joonmyun, the memory of the contact lingers on his skin the way that Jongdae's electrifying high notes are seared into his heart.

Sometimes, Joonmyun wants to be just like Jongdae. He doesn't know how to convey his admiration of Jongdae's humble attitude, his sweet thoughtfulness, or scintillating wit, so Joonmyun tries to find subtle ways to express his affection for his dongsaeng.

On the shopping trip after their first concert, Joonmyun insists on staying by Jongdae's side as the younger vocalist browses his favorite hat shop. Joonmyun is too shy to ask Jongdae if he wants to buy a couple's set, so he watches discreetly as Jongdae makes his selection.

He sees Jongdae settle on a black Supreme cap with the logo embroidered in sketchy white letters on the back.

"Jongdae's so cool," Joonmyun sighs to himself as Jongdae is swiping his card. "Even his hats are cool."

He scans the shelves for snapbacks of the same style, and his gaze falls upon a shiny, holographic gold version of Jongdae's hat.

"Perfect!" Joonmyun exclaims under his breath. "Jongdae will definitely think I'm cool now."

When the other members ask Joonmyun what he got on their shopping trip, he just chirps, "You'll see~" Jongdae tries to peek into Joonmyun's shopping bag, but Joonmyun squeaks and bats his hand away, too embarrassed to reveal his matching purchase just yet.

Joonmyun tries on his new hat in front of the mirror in his dorm room, but he can't help but feel a tinge of dissatisfaction. He can't pull off the accessory nearly as well as Jongdae does, mostly because Joonmyun's head is a little too small for hats to begin with. "I look like a little boy," he mumbles forlornly, taking off his hat to brush his platinum blond bangs out of his eyes.

"No you don't, hyung," Jongdae says, leaning in the doorway. "I like your new hat."

Joonmyun yelps in surprise, dropping his hat. Jongdae picks it up and places it on Joonmyun's head, pulling it low so that it covers his eyes. Joonmyun tries to lift the hat off of his eyes, but Jongdae stills Joonmyun's hands with his own. He can't see anything, but he can feel Jongdae's warm breath tickle the back of his neck.

"What are you doing?" Joonmyun giggles, and then his pulse quickens as he feels Jongdae's lips press kisses down the back of his neck. His vision is obscured by the gold snapback, but it's all the more thrilling because he has no idea what Jongdae will do next.

He feels Jongdae's fingers fumble at the buttons of his plaid shirt, and so he quickly helps him unclasp the pesky fastenings. And then Jongdae is guiding him gently to Joonmyun's bed, careful to not let his hyung trip over the mess of clothes scattered across the floor. The back of Joonmyun's head falls onto his pillow, and he lifts his hand to take his hat off, but Jongdae pushes his hand away once again.

"No peeking," he murmurs, and Joonmyun tries not to shiver at the huskiness in his voice.

Jongdae's knees straddle Joonmyun's hips as he bends over to ghost his lips across Joonmyun's chest and stomach. Then Jongdae's lips are on Joonmyun's, gently seeking entrance into Joonmyun's mouth. His tongue flicks against Joonmyun's, causing the older boy to squirm at the sensation. Without his sense of vision, all of Joonmyun's other senses are heightened to a maximum. He is acutely aware of Jongdae's cool, musky scent, the smooth suppleness of the fingers pinning him down by the arms, and even the invisible stubble of Jongdae's jaw as it brushes against his own.

Joonmyun gasps for breath when Jongdae's lips lift from his own- in his enthusiasm, Joonmyun had completely forgotten to breathe. He's sure that Jongdae can see the pink flush beginning to heat his milky white chest.

But Jongdae says nothing, and Joonmyun suddenly feels something hot and wet tracing the contours of his stomach.

"That tickles!" Joonmyun shrieks, and he swears that he can feel Jongdae smirk against his skin.

Soon, Jongdae’s tongue is replaced by fingers as he tickles Joonmyun’s bare stomach mercilessly, causing the older boy to squeal and lash out blindly.

Their fits of laughter are interrupted by Kyungsoo, who pokes his head in the room. "Hey guys, we have to leave for the airport soon- WHOA WHAT IS GOING ON HERE BYE!" Kyungsoo slams the door shut, and Joonmyun finally lifts the brim of his gold snapback. His eyes meet Jongdae’s, and they both start giggling again.

"Put a shirt on, hyung. I'll get my snapback so we can match at the airport." Jongdae presses one last kiss to Joonmyun's lips and reluctantly rolls out of the bed.

When he returns to the dorm room, Joonmyun is frowning at his reflection once again.

"I shouldn't have bought the shiny gold hat," Joonmyun complains. "It's  too flashy. It isn't me."

"It looks good on you, hyung!" Jongdae gently assures him. "You look...cool actually."

"Really?" Joonmyun grins brightly, his upper lip thinning out to reveal large, white teeth.

"Really, hyung!"

Joonmyun giggles and puts on the black square-framed sunglasses he had purchased on their shopping trip. "I guess I am pretty cool after all, then."

Jongdae agrees laughingly and slips on the matching pair of black sunglasses that he had discreetly purchased after seeing Joonmyun's.

"The coolest."

A/N: gross gross fluff OTL