“What about General Huang’s son? He’d just been promoted to commander of the elite guards; he would make a good match for you.”

“He’s too tall,” Joo quickly retorted.  “I would look like a midget besides him.”

Her mother’s glance was sharp and Joo quickly bowed her head down, holding back a frown. Ever since her eighteenth birthday a few months back, her mother had been pushing her to meet prospective young men, insisting that she was of age to marry. But so far she had refused all of them, finding seemingly petty faults with each and every one of them, thus driving her mother to frustration.

“I would think that a tall man would be better a better match for you, so your children can benefit from his height.”

Joo choked on thin air at the mention of children. “T-that’s not all! He always looks scary and gloomy, too!”      

“He is stern, and so he should, being the commander at such a young age.”

“B-but-“

“Enough. I would arrange a meeting with his family soon. You will meet him and you will be at your best behavior.”  

“…..yes, mother.”

Joo let her mother continue instructing the maids on what kind of hanboks would be perfect for the meeting, keeping silent as she glanced at the paper screen wall besides them, a dark shadow slightly visible behind it.

Yixing didn’t say anything when her mother’s arranged meetings began, only keeping his stoic face as he continued to guard her. But Joo knew him long enough to detect the slight tense of his jaw whenever he accompanied her and her mother during those meeting, his eyes narrowed into dangerous slits as he stood guard outside the meeting room, how the corner of his lips curled just slightly whenever she pointed out faults of her suitors.

She looked away when her mother called for her attention, swallowing down her sigh. Deep down she knew why she refused those men her mother kept pushing to her. None of them have the dimpled smile that captivates her.

Suddenly loud running footsteps could be heard outside, some commotion from behind the screen before a moment later the door opened to reveal a harried looking servant.

“My lady,” he bowed to her mother. “His Lordship has asked for your presence right away.”

Joo frowned. She knew that this time of the day her father would usually have his meeting with his ministers and would not send for her mother, unless it was an emergency.

Her mother must’ve thought the same thing too, because she immediately stood up. “What is the urgent news?”

“My lady,” the servant stuttered. “His Lordship is preparing to go to battle.”

Immediately Joo stood up, upsetting the cup of tea on the low, lacquered table in front of her. She felt rather than saw Yixing stepped inside the room, along with the rest of her mother’s guards, all alert and on the lookout. 

“What happened?” she whispered fearfully.

The servant bowed again. “There came an express messenger earlier, my lady. Lord Song from the neighboring clan had attacked several villages along our border and announcing war against us. They have begun to march towards the city even as we speak.”

Joo felt light headed, her knees weakened so much that she wasn’t sure how she still manage to stand up. There was an acidic bitterness at the back of as she played what she’d just heard over and over again in her head.

So it was true. For months now she had heard rumors of impending war, but dismissed it as just petty talk. All her life neighboring clans have been launching ambush and skirmishes in small scales, but never a frontal attack since none of the clans nearby were big enough in number to survive an all-out war.

“H-how?” Her voice sounded too far away even in her head.

“Lord Song had made an alliance with Lord Jung from the northern clan and Lord Kim from the south, my lady.”

The hitched breath that escaped her was mirrored by her mother as her hand flew up to stifled her horrified gasp. She knew what the servant wasn’t saying, that the enemy would attack them from all side.

In a blurry fog she saw her mother immediately leaving the room, her face paler than Joo ever saw her. With trembling steps she followed outside, only to pause at the threshold and turned to the opposite direction towards her private quarters, a silent shadow following close by.

As she passed the small open courtyard next to her room, filled with the flowers that had bloomed just this morning, the news of the breaking war seemed almost like a terrible dream. It was hard to imagine war and all its horrors on such a beautiful summer day like today.

She stopped then, finger raised up to caress a blooming flower listlessly as her mind filled with desperate fear and worry of what a war will do to this land.      

“Is there really going to be a war, Yixing?” she whispered.

His voice was still as soft as ever though there was an edge of something hard in it. “I’m afraid so, my lady.”

She realized her hand was shaking and she quickly retracted it back, cradling it close to her chest. “Then…what will happen to this land and my father’s people? To my family and me? To all of us?”

For a few long heartbeats there was no answer and her fear grew in abundance. Suddenly there was a slight movement and she could felt the warm presence at her back.

“Do not worry my lady, no matter what happen you will be safe. I will protect you.”

It was the closest he had approached her and she could feel the phantom of his hot breath on the top of her head. He didn’t touch her, didn’t even lay a finger on her, but his soft voice washed over her, enveloping her in a blanket of safe warmth that eased her worry a bit.

But somehow, there was still a feeling of dread weighing in her mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Joo woke up there were tears clinging on her eyelashes and Hyunae’s hand on her shoulder as she peered down at her concernedly.

“You were talking in your sleep, Joo.”

She heaved, trying to take large amount of air into her seemingly shrunken chest. was still clogged up with unshed tears and it hurt. “Something’s going to happen, Hyunae, something bad.”

Hyunae her arm gently. “What, Joo? What’s going to happen?”

“I…I don’t know. But I know it’s bad.”

Hyunae paused her , seemingly gathering her thoughts before she sighed. “Joo, this is getting too far.”

“Hyunae-“

“No, listen to me! How long have I known you, Joo? Since we were both kids, right?” She waited until Joo nodded before continuing. “And I’ve heard about this dream of yours for as long as I’ve known you and at first I thought it was harmless. But…but this…”

She spread her arms wide helplessly. “They’re starting to affect your health, Joo! You slept the days away, so deep in slumber it’s almost impossible to wake you up and even then you’d still wake up tired and restless.”

“I’m fine, Hyunae.”

“No, you’re not!” Hyunae looked livid for a second before her shoulders slumped down again, the anger leaving her as quick as it came. “I want you to see someone about this; go see a doctor, a therapist, a hospital or something.”

Joo jerked away, trying to make her lungs work again, trying to shake the weight of dread from her chest. “And tell them what, Hyunae? That I'm having dreams?” A snort of bitter laughter escaped , tears somehow weaving their way into her waking moments. “In the best case, they'll think I'm a joke, a hypochondriac. In the worst, they'll lock me up for having mental disorder.”

Thin arms circled her shoulder, pulling her closer and Hyunae tucked her head underneath her chin. “You're not crazy, Joo. I know that. But you...you're hurting yourself and I don't know why, or how to help you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was chaos everywhere Joo looked.

The black night sky was streaked across with eerie, reddish orange light from the burning buildings. Loud, terrible noises from every direction assaulted her ears and she wanted to clamp her hands over it to block off the sounds; hoarse screams of fear and death, the groaning crackle of timber burning, clangs of swords plays, the heavy, dull chants of battle drums.

The war has come to her doorstep.

Just a few minutes ago she was sleeping soundly in her bedchamber, before being startled to a state of consciousness when several people came barging in. Yixing was quick to stand in front of her, only lowering his sword when he recognized her maids.

The maids rushed to pulled her from bed, throwing any clothes they could find on her, all the while speaking in a rush of how Lord Song’s army had finally managed to break down the palace’s defense after days of putting it under siege.

Joo followed them almost in a daze, letting them guide her out of the confine of her room, pushing down the nausea climbing up as the bloody sky and horrifying sounds surrounded them.

One of her personal maid pushed her none too gently forward; an act that would’ve earned her a whipping in other times for daring to touch someone of noble birth but not to be think twice now. “Quickly my lady, we must hurry!”

Her mind was still reeling from the horror all around her, feeling as if she was trapped in a nightmare. As she walked quickly along the narrow hallway, the thought of her parents entered her mind.

“Where is my mother? And my father?”

Yixing’s voice was low and soft behind her, an oasis of calm amidst this terror. “Your mother is just ahead of us with her own escorts, my lady, while His Lordship had led the palace guards to repel the enemy.”

Suddenly a commotion broke behind them, loud shouting and heavy sound of footsteps running at their heels. “The rooms are empty! They must not be far ahead! Get them!”

Her maids shrieked and began to run faster. “They’ve found us! Quick, my lady!”

They ran through the seemingly endless hallway, turning left and right yet still couldn’t manage to shake the soldiers after them. They haven’t seen the enemy soldiers yet, but their footsteps are getting nearer and nearer. Finally they came to one of the servant’s entrance; a narrow, long dark alley that would lead them outside the palace.

“Hurry!” Yixing ushered them inside. “There are horses outside; take them and go!”

Joo had walked several steps into the alley, when a sudden loss of presence behind her back alerted her. Quickly she turned and her eyes widened in horror to see Yixing standing guard at the alley’s entrance. Immediately she broke free from her maid’s grip and ran back to him.

“Yixing! What are you doing? Come, we must hurry!”

He turned and she began to feel dread creeping inside her ribs seeing his gaze, still calm and steady even amidst the chaos. “I will stay here to fight off the pursuers, my lady. Go, now.”It was as if the calm she tried to emulate during this terrible night crumbled into dust and she trembled in fright. “W-what? No….no, no! You must come with us!”

“It’s the only way, my lady. This way I can give you more time to get away.”

“No…” She fought hard the tears already pooling in her eyes. “You said you will always follow me, Yixing.” She gulped back a sob. “I don’t want us to be apart.”

For the second time since they met Joo caught him off guard. Yixing’s mouth opened slightly and his eyes widened as a range of emotions flicked through it in a blur, though not fast enough for her not to caught it; surprise, relief, anxiety, determination, and something more, love and affection that goes far beyond the call of duty. Before she could say anything more he stepped closer and took her hand in his.

“Even if we get separated I promise I will find you, my lady,” he said soothingly, gripping her hand firmly as his thumb rubbed across her knuckles. “Across the land, over the sea, no matter how far you go, no matter how long it takes, I will find you.”

As quick as lightning he brought her hand up and dropped a gentle kiss on it, before pushing her away, a silent gesture asking her to leave. Her maids had immediately begun to pull her forwards along the dark alley and Joo caught a glimpse of his turned back, the same hand that a moment ago was holding her was already drawing his sword.  .

True to Yixing’s words, there were horses waiting for them outside. Her maids helped her mounted the closest one, already pushing it to go ahead as they mounted the rest of the horses and spurred the steeds to gallop faster.

Joo held the reins tight around her fingers, still feeling a phantom touch on them. It was barely a few seconds, a fleeting feather touch. Yet she can still remember clearly the warmth of his touch, his soft voice close to her ear, the gentle kiss on her hand that sent tingles down her spine.

Making up her mind she pulled the reins hard, the horse neighing in protest. She turned the animal around, ignoring the shocked faces of her escorts.

“My lady!”

“Go!” She yelled behind her shoulder, already passing them in a blur. “Save yourself! I will be right behind!”

Reaching the same entrance she had just exited moments ago, she quickly got off the horse, stumbling in her run through the long alley, only skidding in a horrified halt as she registered the sight in front of her.

Lighted by the torches around the entrance of the alley, only his back profile visible to her, Yixing looked like the deadly image of an angel of death. Enemy soldiers were surrounding him left and right, yet Yixing maintained his stand and didn’t let any of them enter the alley. His sword flew in a rapid, deathly dance, bringing down more and more men and the number of fallen bodies began to pile at his feet.

Yet it wasn’t without a cost; his clothes were torn and ripped, numerous cuts adorning his body and rivers of blood flowing freely all over him.

Another man jumped ahead, the enemy’s captain it seemed, seeing the different clothes that he wore. He launched several blows but Yixing managed to block them all. Yet the fight must’ve taxed him, as she saw that he began to sway a little.

Suddenly he missed a step and stumbled. The other man didn’t miss the chance and his sword stabbed through Yixing’s chest with such force that it easily came out through the other side. The sickening noise pierced through the night air as the enemy continued to press the sword further and further until the wide of the handle nearly entered Yixing’s body.

The moment felt like an eternity to Joo who found herself unable to move, a hard lump in as Yixing choked around his own breath. Her body felt cold, harsh and biting that it froze her entire veins.

The enemy pulled his sword out of Yixing’s body and the fallen guard instantly stumbled and fell backwards, blood pouring from the fatal wound like a haunting red river and his breath robbed from his lung with a wet choke.

“NO!!”

Her scream echoed in the narrow alley, grabbing the attention of the enemy soldiers. She ran to her fallen guard, watching how his eyes widened at the sight of her even when the light in his gaze was dimming.

There was a whizzing sound in the air and Joo let out a pained gasp when an arrow hit her in the leg. It slowed her down but she continued to run, sight still locked on how Yixing’s lids were half-shut and his gaze growing distant.

There was another whizzing sound and now there was pain blooming in her stomach, an intense burning that stopped her breathing. It was followed by other pain from her other leg, her shoulder, her arm, until she couldn’t run anymore and fell to the ground.

The last thing she saw was Yixing’s bloodied mouth screaming something she couldn’t hear, the light of life dimmed in his eyes even as he kept her gaze on her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Joo woke up screaming and wailing. Tears flooded her as surely as helplessness because it wasn't supposed to be this way, it wasn't supposed to end like this.       

“Joo! What’s wrong? Joo, look at me!”

She gasped, still feeling the burning pain in her chest, almost expecting to see the arrows planted on her flesh. “No…Yixing, no, no……”

“Ssh…come on, you’re okay,” Hyunae whispered as she wrapped her arms around her, rocking her softly.

“He’s dead….oh God, he’s dead,” She clung to her friend tightly, wetting her shirt with tears as bile rose in .

Hyunae his hair, swallowing audibly. “Joo, I’m taking you to the hospital,” she whispered, her voice sounded on the edge of begging. “You're burning up, you...you wouldn't wake up no matter how hard I tried...”

“Okay. Yeah, okay....” For the first time, Joo didn't fight her with false assurances. She felt physically ill.

She felt dead.

The hospital was close enough from their apartment, but she couldn’t remember how they got there. The nurses sat them in the waiting room, despite Hyunae’s angry protests that her friend should see someone now. Joo closed her eyes as Hyunae encouraged her to lean her head on the latter’s shoulder, her hair soothingly as tears still streaming down her face.

“It’s okay, Joo. Everything will be okay,” she whispered.

Joo tried to listen to her, to draw comfort, but she can only sat and trembled all over, unable to stop seeing Yixing’s death, the life fading from his eyes.

After sometime Hyunae left, saying she want to see what’s taking the hospital staff so long and Joo just nodded dumbly. Her head reclined against the plastic seat, heavy and laden with thoughts. Her tears had subsided until all that was left was dry sobs and chapped lips, cheeks puffed and red. She must’ve look like a mess, but she didn’t care.

It was absurd, this grief clinging in her veins, the crushing sadness suffocating her. It was just dreams, so why was she so affected by it? And yet, even now, she can still feel the anguish of seeing Yixing’s last moment in life.

The waiting room was in perpetual motion, people coming and going, the whole room changing with the number of patients nursing wounds and illnesses and waiting to be cared for. She stared at the neon light above her head until spots began to dance in her eyes.        She closed her eyes and pictured a bright summer day instead, of a man standing tall and proud, a gentle, dimpled smile gracing his lips.

From somewhere nearby loud voices was heard along with hurried footsteps, followed by the sound of the door opening.

“Don’t you dare tell me that everything’s fine, Xing! It’s not fine, not when you woke up screaming in the middle of the night about how you couldn’t save her, whoever this girl you’ve been dreaming about! You scared the hell out of me! Now, you’re going to see a doctor about those dreams of yours and that’s final!”

“I’m fine, Luhan, just-”

The accented voice cut off with a gasp as the footsteps stopped abruptly just near her.

Joo opened her eyes to find her dream had turned real.

Dark gentle eyes met her gaze, the glare of neon light now behind him instead of sunshine, but it was the same gentle gaze.

“I know you,” she whispered breathlessly, slowly straightening in her seat, eyes not leaving the man in front of her.

Cropped dark hair instead of long tresses past his broad shoulder, but it was the same lean posture.

The man staggered forwards, before falling on his knees shakily in front of her. “Yes. You do.”

It was the same voice, soft with a hint of lilting accent.

There were callouses on warm hands as he took her hands in his, not caused by sword wielding or hard menial work, just the worn cares of an everyday life. But behind his dark lashes she saw evidence of summers and swordplay and love ended by tragedy.

“I finally found you.” He smiled as he gripped her hands tighter, “My lady.”

It was the same dimpled smile, kind and soft and strong.

“Call me Joo,” she smiled back through relieved tears as she squeezed his hands back. “Yixing.”