INSANITY ;

THERE IS ALWAYS SOME MADNESS IN LOVE,
BUT THERE IS ALSO ALWAYS A REASON IN MADNESS

- FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

“Sehun, I’ll be back in a little while to check up on you okay,” Nurse Ga Yeon said as he gave her a cold look. She briefly looked at him for a while before letting out a sigh and turned around, walking out. His face cringed as she opened the door, letting the noise from outside the hall erupt inside his quiet room. This hospital is really bothersome.

He sat still on the edge of his bed, staring into space—actually glaring into space—as he let his mind run back to the past. He remembers everything that happened on that one particular day. He can’t seem to forget it.

He can’t forget how the medics came in the house to help him up as his tears fall endlessly, looking at his lifeless girlfriend. He was being assisted to go to the ambulance as people crowded outside the house. He saw how the policemen examined the area as they surrounded the lot with a yellow tape—Crime Scene: Do Not Cross—Sehun was crying and he felt so weak. They saw his clothes filled with bloodstains as they looked for his injuries. It was the darkest moment of his life as his world turned upside down for the loss of his only love.

Rewind.

It was a lovely day and he was going to see his girlfriend, Kwon Myunsong, who happened to be an art student—not that he’s bragging or anything, but she’s the best painter he’s ever known. He got a call from her two days before they were supposed to meet and asked him if he could come over to be her model, for another artwork.

So he showed up in front of her doorstep when she asked him to. She opened the door wearing a large white shirt of his and her hair was tied into a messy bun. She had splats of paint in different colors over her skin and some stained on the shirt. Still though, she looked beautiful. She smiled at him and laced her arms around his neck as they shared a brief kiss and he took a step inside her flat. Her giggle erupted through the silence between them and she dragged him to her private room, which contained her artworks and materials.

“So what am I going to do babe?” He asked as she stood across her empty canvas.

“Just sit on the stool and be handsome,” She chuckled, teasing him, as he gave her a lopsided grin. He did as told and sat on the stool by the center like she asked him to. She just started painting and it wasn’t hard for him to not move because he loved staring at her while she does her thing. She looked so lovely. He sat there for about three hours and his bottom kind of felt numb after but since her painting came out well, it was really worth it after all.

He hugged her stomach as she does some finishing touches on her work. He pecked her cheeks and rested his chin on her shoulder, looking at the painting of himself.

“I think you’re going to a hundred on that,” He teased as she chuckled. He swears, they were like music to my ears every damn time.

“You think so?”

“I know so,” He gave her a smirk.

Once she was done, she took a half bath to clean herself up and they stayed in her living room while cuddling as we munch on slices of apples. There were two more fruits on the plate and a knife sitting beside it. They talked about her campus and her subjects, how difficult they were getting and how much it’s draining her. He never gets tired of listening to her stories. He just loves hearing her voice. Other than that, he does love her for more reasons. She understands him with everything about who he is and his past. She knows how sensitive he is when it comes to family talks so she doesn’t bring it up. She understands that there are some things that he doesn’t feel comfortable talking about. She cares for him deeply and she would do anything for him. Above everything else, she loves him truly.

“I’ll go get us something to drink, wait here,” She smiled and pecked his lips before standing up and walking to the kitchen. Sehun tuned back to the television and looked for the remote to flip channels. Just when he found it sitting on the side table, he saw a few mails for her. An envelope, torn open caught Sehun’s attention. A glossy colored paper peeked out and it was more than enough to make him curious what it was. He took it and opened the envelope. He saw a brochure about an Art Exhibit in Paris that will be held just about two weeks from now. Just when he was browsing to it, there was white paper left inside the envelope. It was a note.

Myunsong, I found the brochure about the Art Convention in Paris. Take it with you, alright? I’ve already contacted the other seniors who will be joining us on our trip! I’m very excited for our team! Go pack a lot of bags. 2 months is longer than you think! See you there!

                                                                                                            -Luhan

 Myunsong. Paris. Two months. She’s leaving and he felt betrayed that she hasn’t told him anything about this. Sehun heard footsteps nearing so he placed everything back and eyed on the television. His girlfriend was back with two glasses of mango juice and she sat back down close to him, innocently.

“What’s on?” She asked, eyeing at the television but Sehun did not answer. He was glaring on the screen as his jaw tensed. He’s angry.

“Babe, you okay?” She asked, scooting over close to him as she looked up at him. He only ignored her and focused on the television but his mind was going through a lot of questions, anger built up inside him, “Sehun, what’s wrong?”

He flipped her, shoving her back on the backrest of the couch, pinning her down as her wide terrified eyes looked at his brown, furious orbs. He was pressing her shoulders down too tight and it was hurting her. It would cause a mark if he doesn’t let go any moment.

“S-sehun it hurts,” Her voice quivered in pain as she placed both of her hands against his chest to push him off but he wouldn’t budge. Tear pooled inside her eyes as she winced in pain, “Sehun it hurts!” She exclaimed.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Paris huh?!” He spat angrily at her as she cringed. Sehun finally stopped pinning her down but he grabbed her shoulders to stand her up, squeezing her skin, “And you’re going with the godforsaken son of a , Luhan?! Are you cheating on me?!” He roared as he shook her body. Tears fell from her eyes and rushed down her damp cheeks. This was Sehun’s side that scared her the most.

“I’m not cheating on you! Let go of me!” She exclaimed as she tried to pull away from her grip but he was stronger than her. She kept pushing him off as she pounded on his chest and he still wouldn’t let go of her.

“You’re not going to Paris! You’re not leaving me!” He exclaimed as his past haunted him again. That cold night when he saw his own father stopped his mother from leaving. They were already in a too complicated relationship and Sehun was only eight years old. That night Sehun saw his father hold his mother at gunpoint and pulled the trigger. His wide innocent brown orbs watched as his mother’s dead body crashed down on the ground with bloodstains on their wooden floor. Sehun saw his father fall to his knees as he cried at the death of his wife. The gun was lifted and pressed it on his right temple.

“DAD NO!” Sehun’s voice echoed as his father pulled the trigger and ended his own life.

Since then, leaving meant death to him and his twisted mind. His eyes filled with tears as he glared at Myunsong. Looking at her was like looking back at that tragic night. He couldn’t stand it. He was furious. Sehun threw her body against the wall as she bounced back and crashed down on the grown. Her body ached as she winced and cried in pain. He walked to her furiously as he grabbed her hair and dragged her across the living room.

“Sehun! Stop it!” She wailed as she held his hands that were gripping on her black locks. He threw her on the floor, her head crashing hardly that caused a huge pounding in her head. She was about to be knocked out.

“You think you can leave me just like that?” Sehun asked and flipped her body. He strangled her, his weight pressing her down. His thighs rested on either side of her waist as he locked his hands around her neck, choking her. She gagged, unable to breathe. Myunsong tried to pry his hands off of her neck but he was holding it very tight. Her hands reached for his face and tried to push him away by his sharp jaw. Soon her fingers found its way to his eyes and without hesitating she poked it as painful as she could.

Sehun groaned and winced as he loosened his grip on her neck. He covered his eyes to regain his sight and she used this as her chance to escape. She pushed him off of her as she stumbled to run, crying. She grabbed her phone and immediately dialed anyone she could reach first but before she could go past through the living area, strong arms wrapped around her waist as she screamed and tried to fight him. He lifted her up as her foot constantly kicked to reject being dragged back. She dropped her phone as Sehun threw her on the couch. He lifted his hand and swatted her cheek making a loud painful skin-to-skin sound and blood smeared on the corner of .

Before she could fight him again, he grabbed the knife sitting by the plate of sliced apples they were having earlier. He pointed the blade against the skin of her neck. Tears continued to stream down her face as he looked at her. Both of them were breathing heavily, but for different reasons—she was nervous, he was angry. He let the tip of the knife brush through her jaw as he leaned forward, his weight pressing her body down.

“You’re not leaving, Myunsong,” He muttered as he let the knife run down from her jaw, to her neck and now on her chest. She was shaking, trembling and crying, terrified of him. How was it possible that her sweet and loving boyfriend turned into a mindless monster? She wanted to say a word but she was afraid that her response wouldn’t please him and would only drive him to do more drastic things.

She slowly lifted her hands to touch his cheek as she cried. Sehun’s face showed how confused he was for a moment but all of a sudden, his face softened. She sobbed as she soothingly rubbed her thumb across his soft skin. His body loosened from being tensed and she sat up, launching herself forward as she kissed his lips. It felt so wrong for him but before he could contemplate on that, she pulled him in for a hug as she cried on his shoulder. He felt a pang in his heart. Guilt washed over his entire system as he let out a heavy breath and hugged her back, crying.

“Sehun…stop this. Please. I’m begging you. If you love me, you will stop this and you will understand me,” She muttered through the hug as she embraced him tightly. But hearing her, fear crept onto Sehun’s soul—his fear that if he stops now then she’ll go for good and he’d never have her again. If he stops now he’ll end up watching another guy walk into her life as she leaves him for someone else. And Sehun doesn’t want that.

“I love you,” He whispered as she cried. Sehun lifted the knife and furrowed his eyebrows as tears formed in his eyes, “But I can’t,” She let in a breath and in one swift move he stabbed her back as deep as he could. Letting the blade cut through her skin. Tears fell from both of their eyes as Sehun remained embracing her.

Blood seeped through her clothes as she coughed blood on his shoulders too. Her eyes wide open, letting the tears fall. He felt her heartbeat slow down—that used to beat for him—to a stop and he let out a heavy breath. His tears began to fall down as he pulled away from her, her blood staining his clothes too. He pulled the knife out of her lifeless body as he cradled her, crying.

And after twenty-four hours, a friend of Myunsong decided to swing by her flat. It was Luhan. He stepped inside and saw everything. He was terrified as he looked at Sehun crying while he cradled Myunsong’s dead body. Luhan asked what happened, how did it happen but he got no response from Sehun. He called the police and reported what he saw.

The medics came in the house to help him up as his tears fall endlessly, looking at his lifeless girlfriend. He was being assisted to go to the ambulance as people crowded outside the house. He saw how the policemen examined the area as they surrounded the lot with a yellow tape—Crime Scene: Do Not Cross—Sehun was crying and he felt so weak. They saw his clothes filled with bloodstains as they looked for his injuries but he had no injury at all and all the blood wasn’t his, but Myunsong’s. He made the darkest moment of his life as his world turned upside down for the loss of his only love.

Back to the present.

Nurse Ga Yeon already went back and to her surprise, Sehun was now sitting at the edge of his bed, staring into space. She was about to reprimand him when he saw blood drip from Sehun’s skin down to the white tiles of the room. She gasped as she walked towards him and her eyes widened with the sight.

Sehun pierced a fork through his skin, digging four small holes as blood continued to drip out. His lips cracked into a smile and his eyes landed on Nurse Ga Yeon. His look was too smugly and scary. She froze on her spot as she watched Sehun take off the fork from his wounded skin. Nurse Ga Yeon immediately ran out of the room. The noise from the hall erupted to his room. The asylum is really a bothersome.

“I need a straight jacket right now!” She yelled and went back inside. She immediately took the fork away from him and dabbed a towel on his wound. Two male nurses and Sehun’s resident doctor rushed inside the room.

Sehun smiled as he let his tears fall.

Insanity has won his entirety.

I would love to read what you guys thought about the story. And yeah, sorry for making Sehun's character insane. Hope you guys liked it in some way. Hahaha. Comment, subscribe & upvote maybe? And I hope you do check out my other fanfictions (where Sehun is totally normal, I promise) and read them too! :)