The late night wind hit her tiny and unguarded face in a violent way. Her eyes were focused on the street below while her body  shrank from time to time, without any protection against that fair weather of winter. January had never been so cold, till then.

 

Taeyeon used that time, that specific place, as her requiem. A rest, a brief time  to her damaged soul and her broken heart. It was there that she allowed herself to be sad, letting her tears flow when it had been held in front of everyone.

 

She lost her.

 

Her best friend, not a long time ago, told her she was dating someone. The person for whom she had the most intense and pure feelings, the woman that had in her hands her heart without of course, having any intention of giving back all that love. Hearing those words was never painful as it was now but what really got her was the need to feign happiness for her.

 

Their relationship so far was so complicated that sometimes she wondered if Tiffany at any moment even considered simply stop biting and blowing, before dropping that bomb on top of her already fragile state. The brunette knew somehow what the older girl felt, but nothing was ever thrown on the table. Nothing was said, nothing was done. All she did was accept and just keep at it, ignoring whatever it was.

 

There, at that rooftop, Taeyeon realized how much she was stupid. She let herself be in that situation, knowing that would result in nothing more than pain to herself. It never seemed to be the right thing, but her feelings blinded her, and so she followed without protest. Those news could have destroyed everything within her, could bring a shakeup in their friendship but what she didn’t realize, was that it also could mean freedom.

 

She just needed to see it with brand new eyes.

 

A strong breeze hit her again. Her body shuddered altogether, warning her that she should be in a warmer place, or at least more protected, but nothing would make her go back at that moment.

 

Taeyeon sighed without moving.

 

- Is everything alright ?

 

Among all the things that filled her head, the young woman didn’t notice the approach of anyone. She only did it so when she heard a familiar voice on her right side. Knowing who it belonged to, she didn’t bother to pay attention at all.

 

A nod of acknowledgment was answer enough.

 

Seeing such thing, Jessica gulped, feeling quite awkward.

 

Her relationship with the leader wasn’t the best and this situation even after years, never changed. Who saw them like that never would’ve imagined that in the beginning, their friendship was one of the strongest in the group. They still had doubts as to the reasons that led them to become so weird with each other but there was nothing much to be done. Taeyeon was a really closed person and her starting to confide just in a few people, Jessica never forced anything. She knew her personality and tried to respect in the best way possible.

 

At that particular moment, however, Jessica saw an advantage to her side. She knew something that the other 6 didn’t and she was also aware that Taeyeon, more than anyone, might be needing her. For the first time in years.

 

- It’s cold...I brought you this. - Jessica handed her a baby blue hoodie. - You must take care of your voice and your health, if you’re not leaving anytime soon.

 

The final comment made Taeyeon intrigued. What made her suppose that she wouldn’t leave anytime soon ? The oldest looked to her side without showing much expression, eyeing directly the clothes she handed her. It surely would be handy.

 

Without much to say, she put on the hoodie and looked back at Jessica, waiting for her to leave or to say something at once. She was so out of her mind that she didn’t even think of thanking the girl in front of her for caring.

 

To her surprise, Jessica didn’t do anything of those two. The woman just approached the half wall of the rooftop, propping up at it in silence. Her brown hair began to fly, undoing the hairstyle she wore before. Taeyeon just stopped looking at her when their eyes met.

 

- I know why you’re like this.

 

- What ?

 

- I know what happened. Tiffany, right ?  Tiffany dating.

 

Taeyeon’s eyes grew instantly.

 

- What are you talking about ?

 

- I know about you two.

 

The revelation surprised her, leaving her scared and angry at the same time. The thought of Tiffany telling something so personal to someone, boiled her blood.

 

- It wasn’t Tiffany who told me.  - Jessica added, gaining back the leader’s attention to herself.

 

- Who was it then ? No one but her knew. - Her tone wasn’t that receptive.

 

Not even Sunny was aware of it.

 

- I joined the dots. It wasn’t difficult Taeyeon, the others didn’t notice simply because they didn’t pay attention. Tiffany once commented about something like this in a hypothetical way and it confirmed things to me.

 

Taeyeon didn’t know what else to say. She turned her gaze again to the street below, completely embarrassed to keep looking at Jessica. There was no courage.

 

- Then she knew about my feelings…

 

- Yes, I can say.

 

A vocalized confirmation hurt even more on her chest. If she really knew, why would she still insist in hurting her like that ? Giving clues of a possible mutual feeling to in the end, end up dating a guy ?

 

- I’m not here to say something about it, it’s far away from me. - Jessica continued to look, even if she didn’t return. - I just came here to offer you a...Friend. I may not be your ideal confidant but since I know about the situation, I couldn’t simply ignore and leave you aside like this.

 

Taeyeon gulped. Ideal confidant ? Jessica’s words reminded her of how she used to treat her lately, with indifference. Looking at that coldness in her manner, she felt really guilty as she saw the girl there, in front of her. She would never expect to have her at her disposal like this, in such a moment.

 

- That’s it. - Jessica, after not receiving a direct reply, spoke again while fixing her hair, smiling briefly to herself. - Just wanted to tell you that.

 

Taeyeon turned her face toward the brunette with a slightly different look. Although she didn’t answer anything, inside she was at least a bit comforted by what she had just heard.

 

- Later, Taeyeonie.

 

The way Jessica called her name, made the corner of lift upwards a little. It was a little smile that the youngest didn’t see it, as she was already on her way to the door.

 

The moment she was about to open it, Taeyeon went back to her senses, seeing how her body had warmed. It was there that her silence treatment got over.

 

- Jessica !

 

The brunette looked over her shoulder after she heard her name.

 

- Thank you.

 

In response, Jessica smiled and waved before going out.

 

Alone again, Taeyeon looked back at the street below already with other thoughts in her head.

 

That thank you wasn’t just for the hoddie, and she was aware of that.

 

                                                                                      ~~~~

 

With work in her hands, Taeyeon didn’t allow herself the luxury of thinking about her personal life. That’s what she wanted the most, begged during all that time since she got her heart broken. The more things to do, more her mind was busier, having less and less time to spend mulling over her last months.

 

Her relationship with Tiffany didn’t actually change in a dramatically way, despite her urge to get away being always present. She knew that as a leader she should keep her posture, their image, and cherish for all eight in first place, not to mention that the she still filled the post of the girl’s best friend. In that way, Taeyeon tried to recompose herself, acting the same way as before without leaving evidence of anything. What she also expected was that its facade also got to Jessica, the only one that had knowledge of all.

 

During her promotions with Breath then, with S.M The Ballad, Taeyeon managed to untie everything that tormented her to devote one hundred percent in their performances. Her commitment to become transparent to the public, interpreting songs of such magnitude was so big that  in one of them, even without realizing, Taeyeon showed more than she wanted. The lyrics was so similar to what she was feeling that at the end of one of the comebacks stages, after she pulled her microphone, her voice trembled in what felt almost as a tearful sigh.

 

There was no doubt about her preference of Set Me Free. It was the track that talked to her, that expressed what she couldn’t in a subtle and bittersweet way. That song spoke to her soul.

 

Meanwhile, the leader gave so much of her that she ended up neglecting her health. Taeyeon ended up fraying herself, getting thinner and even catching a mild flu for her low immune system. It was this one, that actually knocked her down on one of the nights of the weekend, in which she found herself lying on the couch in the living room without any company if not her headache.

 

In moments like that she missed her Ginger, her most faithful companion. It was a shame that she couldn’t be able to have it there, couldn’t give all the attention it needed in times of work. That was one of the prices to pay, after all.

 

Lying under blankets, Taeyeon watched television without really paying much attention to it. Her head ached and her body was kinda limp but even with that, she didn’t want to surrender to sleep. She slept hours before and she didn’t want to get used to a bad habit, not to metion that she was interested in watching an film that was going to air, at late night.

 

She was alone there for 4 hours already and saw no problem with that. In fact, she would rather not think about such thing, it was the best she did. So when the  dorm door rattled with keys, her curiosity soon appeared. She didn’t expect Sunny or Tiffany to arrive anytime soon.

 

When she lifted her face from the couch to look who it was, she raised her eyebrows in curiosity.

 

- Oh !

 

Jessica entered looking somewhat surprised by her presence.

 

- I thought no one was here.

 

The younger smiled as she closed the door behind her, still being the target of Taeyeon’s attentive and curious look.

 

- Are you alone ?

 

- Yeah...Sunny and Tiffany went out with friends.

 

With that response, Jessica frowned.

 

- Why didn’t you join them ?

 

- I’m tired…

 

Taeyeon looked back at the screen. It also meant “I’m sick and Tiffany’s boyfriend is one of them” but she didn’t have to say it.

 

Soon Jessica stood beside the sofa, looking at the same direction as her.

 

- And you, what are you doing here ?

 

- I came to get some stuff from my room.

 

- Ah…

 

- Are you cold ? Here it’s really...Hot. - Jessica let her purse at the end of the sofa, noticing the thickness of the blanket that covered her. The air conditioner wasn’t so there was no reason for her to be like that. Taeyeon wasn’t even a chilly person. - Is everything alright ?

 

- Er, it’s nothing...I just got the flu and now I think I have a fever.

 

- Did you took something ? - Jessica approached, wearing a worried look.

 

- No, like I said, it’s no big deal. Manager oppa told me to rest well, the fansign will be only on Sunday.

 

- Oh...Okay. Good.

 

Keeping the small smile on her lips, Jessica returned to continue her original way to her room.

 

Taeyeon followed her with her eyes until she felt a brief nausea. Closing her eyes to avoid the strong inflow of light, she stood up, tried to pull herself together and finally decided to just go take a kinda cold bath. Her body was hot and sweaty, it would be the best thing to do.

 

- Jessica !

 

- Uh ?

 

- I’ll take a shower...When you leave, don’t forget to lock up.

 

- Okay.

 

Already finding herself under the shower, Taeyeon tried her best to get rid of all that bad feeling in attempt to lower her fever. She stood under the running water for a long time, eyes closed without much thinking for a good few minutes. When she left, she put another pajamas and went to the kitchen, looking for something to eat that at least could give her some energy.

 

With the time she took to shower and get dressed, she had expected to find the house empty again but when she arrived at her destination, she was surprised. Jessica stood with her back facing her, fiddling with somehting.

 

- I thought you had already gone.

 

- I remembered a tea my mother always made for me and Krystal. It relaxes and lower the fever a bit, you can even drink up in the day.

 

- Ah...There was no need to worry.

 

- It doesn’t hurt. - Jessica turned and flashed a smile in her direction. - It’s not good to do this you know, you seem to be really tiring yourself out in these promotions.

 

- Nothing that I never did in every comeback we had.

 

- Exactly. Besides the sub-unit, we also are working on the comeback. Two weights for you.

 

- Yeah...It is.

 

Jessica grabbed a glass in the cabinet above her and place it on the counter, pouring the liquid in it.

 

- Drink slowly and try to relax, be quiet.

 

When the youngest turned, she found a somewhat unusual expression in Taeyeon’s face. Jessica didn’t know what to make of that.

 

- Here.

 

After getting the glass she handed her, Taeyeon opened one sincere smile, a surprise for both sides.

 

- Thank you.

 

- If you need anything - The brunette shrugged. - Just call.

 

Taeyeon saw Jessica pass through her to pick her purse, which had a plastic bag beside it. In the back of her mind, she had the urge to ask her to stay if she hadn’t anything much to do but this was nothing but just an desire.

 

Seeing Jessica go, unable to verbalize her wish, she said goodbye in a casual way.

 

What was not obvious to her was that as those months passed, she started to see Jessica in a new way. Perhaps, she finally began to notice her for real. After all, she had never ceased to be her old friend.

 

                                                                                     ~~~~

 

- A toast to another successful comeback ! - Sooyoung said smiling, raising her glass to encourage everyone to do the same.

 

After returning to the market under the group’s name, all the insecurities about the confirmed dating stuff earlier that year were finally deleted from their minds. All the support Sone’s gave them even made Taeyeon touched, being her the one that felt the biggest fear of in the end, lose everyone’s love because of such events.

 

The fact that they have been well received on the charts and comeback stages, certainly calmed down their hearts. The following caution was to be careful to not slip in their footsteps, as surely the tabloids couldn’t wait for more news like those. On nights when she couldn’t sleep, Taeyeon spent the time wondering when would be the next scandal. Whether or not, those vultures would find something to post with just the intention of gaining money, attention and of course, having the pleasure of hurt more and more their images.

 

As much as they were still humans and deserved to be happy, the fans didn’t accept it like that, maybe for thinking thta those things seemed to take all the group’s stability on what really mattered : the music. Thus, Taeyeon could only regret that maybe she was disappointing them, promising herself to work more and more to compensate somehow.

 

All the love they received through social networks, asked at least this return from them.

 

In a small dinner, the nine girls were reunited along with their managers to celebrate the Mr.Mr successful prmotions. Excitement, laughs, loud voices and gossip were things that never lacked when all of them were together. It was one of the best moments for the leader, who from time to time missed one or another in random situations at the dorm.

 

With good food and drinks, they barely noticed the time passing by, as perfect children.

 

- Taeyeon-ah ! - Tiffany exclaimed in her classic high-pitched voice, calling her friend’s attention to her.

 

The smile on her face proved how much she still liked her. She loved how she always wanted her attention.

 

- Hm ?

 

Tiffany laid her hand on her shoulder, lowering her torso to be able to speak near her ear.

 

- Can I borrow your phone ? Mine just died.

 

- Oh

 

- Oppa sent me a message and when I was about to answer, puff, it died.

 

When she hear her say “oppa”, she fought to keep herself together, keep smiling. In a way, the best option was to just stop doing it so, seeing now how fake and disappointed it look.

 

Of course she wasn’t looking for her attention. Not anymore.

 

- Sure. - Taeyeon swalloed, picking up her phone on the table and handing it to her.

 

- Thank you !

 

Once she thanked, the leader’s eyes followed Tiffany as the woman pulled away to make a call. At that moment, there was no smile anymore, just a agonizing pain in her chest.

 

Facing this situation, Taeyeon found herself tired. She was tired of feeling like that, she was exhausted of suffering for so long. Since she discovered about them, the feeling never got better and that was far from healthy.

 

There, among those excited voices, she gradually became invisible to everyone...Except for one person.

 

From not far away, Jessica stared at her without being sighted, wearing a semblance almost like hers. Being the only one that knew and at the same time, feeling the same in her own skin, for sure made her own feelings mix into a great mess.

 

Seeming  to realize the tender look on her, Taeyeon looked up towards Jessica’s direction, finally finding her gaze on her. A knowing smile formed on the youngest lips, making her only nod in understanding.She knew that was Jessica’s way of supporting her after witnessing the same scene.

 

It was with this small gesture that something inside her changed. In those fragile moments, all her barriers were destroyed, leaving a space to someone who had been inside before, to return. This person was Jessica and more than ever, she accepted her return. She admitted her mistake in treating her badly, allowed herself to miss the times were they would just confide in each other and...Noticed how much she missed her.

 

In that way, a simple smile that triggered old memories, made her forget at least a bit her anguish over Tiffany.

 

                                                                                       ~~~~

 

On one of the days off after the end of the mini-album promotions, Taeyeon had the luxury of waking up late. Usually her night sleep wasn’t good so when she had the chance to sleep well, she enjoyed to the fullest. That day she woke up just before the lunch hour, fully rested and ready for another day.

 

The first thing she decided, before even getting up, was to check some messages, maybe her instagram and things like that. To her surprise, when she unblocked her screen, there were several new messages as well as notifications.

 

She sat on her bed and when she pressed her eyes to remove all the sleep left, the bedroom door of the room she once shared with Sunny, opened.

 

The girl herself appeared.

 

- Taeyeon...Bad news.

 

The leader looked up in search of explanations, seeing the girl entering the room with a tablet in hands. When she sat on bed, handing her the object with something written on it, the first reaction Taeyeon had wasn’t what she had expected.

 

After reading the title of an article where it explained Tiffany’s dating news, the older girl felt her stomach clench with nerves. Several things went through her head and this time, not involving only her personal. Another scandal, another one. She stood up quickly, rushing to throw out everything that returned from her stomach.

 

When she found herself there, feeling extremely sick, Taeyeon felt the worse in her whole life.

 

- Hey hey, what happened ? - Sunny approached the spot to help her, oblivious to all her conflicts. - What’s going on ?

 

Taeyeon stood a little dizzy, still feeling her abdomen contracting in a acute pain.

 

All those insecurities came back in full force.

 

- Where’s Tiffany ? - She asked in a slow way, going straight to the sink to clean herself.

 

- At the agency...Taeyeon -ah… - Sunny’s voice seemed sensible. - What’s happening with you ?

 

- Soonkyu...Leave me alone for a bit, please.

 

With the request, Sunny sighed without having any idea of what was going on. Giving a nod, she withdrew herself, leaving Taeyeon alone with all her thoughts.

 

That day would be a hell. She was more than sure of it.

 

                                                                                     ~~~~

 

In every place, people couldn’t stop talking about the same thing. Dating news, dating news, dating news. Tv, magazines, internet and to top it off, on her instagram. All those called “shippers” of their couple was going crazy, saying all kind of stuff, going from horrible things to others that even comforted her somehow.

 

Taeyeon during that time triggered a strong defense for herself. Not even wanting to imagine the fans’ reaction, everything she needed was the inverse of what she had done earlier in the year, when she sang Be alright to comfort all the Sones. She urgently needed something to keep her away from bursting with so much things she kept for herself.

 

In that way, after a meeting with all the girls, after Tiffany even apologized to her for being “careless”, her wish was to just go to a place far away. Han River, a bar where she knew the owner so she could have privacy or anything of the sort. She needed to disentangle all those problems at once, to run away from them.

 

So when Jessica got to her before each followed  to their respective homes, she got surprised when she heard what the girl had to offer. Taeyeon didn’t expect but when Jessica offered a time to ‘escape’ she accepted without thinking twice.

 

Both ended up in a bar of great friend of Jessica, a gay friend. He always treated them with care, providing all devices for them to be in peace inside the place. When the two sat face to face after having a little chat with the man, a calmer feeling settled down.

 

- How are you handling things ? - Jessica asked cautiously.

 

- How do you think ? - Taeyeon gave a bitter smile.

 

- We all are apprehensive...Just to see that rumour about me and Tyler I got like this even being fake so now…

 

- You know Sica, with everyone now knowing about this, it worked as a reality check to me. Like if I finally saw the truth…

 

- You still feel a lot for her, right ?

 

- To be honest ? No. Actually I’m slowly getting over her. I got tired of being stupid. Tiffany hurt me because she - Her voice dropped noticeably. - Kinda played with me. It’s like I got illuded and I followed the game, I allowed this. If it was something platonic it was okay but she was aware of me and she still kept treating me the same way. The same jokes, the same looks that of course I understood in a different way…

 

Jessica nodded in understanding, listening intently to her outburst. She saw herself in Taeyeon’s words, being in similar way for much more time than her.

 

- The problem is that I still want her friendship and as a friend I should support her, because we are in the same group, we are together for years but-

 

- It would be like stepping on your wound ?

 

- Yeah. So I gave myself the luxury of a quiet selfishness, not supporting but not letting her know. Last thing I want is to argue and I don’t know, maybe pressure her to do something.

 

- I think that’s the best thing to do until you’re fully healed.

 

- Yeah…

 

- Believe me, I know how you feel. I’m currently in your skin as well.

 

- Really ? Is it a idol ?

 

- Yes...It’s the same unfortunate situation Taeyeonie, what I feel for this person is not new. It comes from olders times...It just got forgotten because of a few things but then, slowly it came back to me.

 

- Who is it ?

 

Jessica sighed, shrugging.

 

- I’d rather not say.

 

- Oh...Okay.

 

- It’s complicated so I think we deserve this moment.

 

- We do...Just tell me one thing, Sica.

 

- Uh ?

 

- Why didn’t you freak out when you found out that Tiffany and I had this “relationship” - She gestured the quotation marks with her fingers. - Between us ? I mean… You know.

 

- Because with me it’s the same.

 

The surprise look on the leader’s face got visible.

 

- W-What ?

 

- That’s right. It’s not a he but a she.

 

- Whoa… I never imagined you hm...Like this.

 

A short laugh came in reply.

 

- Nor do I imagined myself as well.

 

- I guess that explains. - Taeyeon let out a long sigh in defeat. - If you have the courage to confess I just hope it’s going to be reciprocate...You deserve to be happy.

 

- And you don’t ? - Jessica frowned. - You talk in such a pessimistic way.

 

- Hm, almost like it. Anyway, if she feels the same, don’t waste time in seeking for your happiness regarding of the consequences...This a miserable person’s advice for you.

 

- Thank you.

 

With the look they exchanged at that moment, on one side there was admiration and on the other, a sweet and persistent feeling of love.

 

                                                                                       ~~~~

 

Thailand has never been so much fun. After the news broke out, the best thing to do was to remain out of spotlight, just events and schedules in the best way possible. So all the nine girls did so until everything was back to normal, with them finally back to their routines. When Taeyeon found out she had to go to Thailand to record another CF, she didn’t really expect many people would be expecting her in the airport.

 

It turned out that everything was different to the irony of fate, she and Nichkhun went to the same airport at the same time. When she came out of the airport lounge ready to go to the car that was waiting for her, the screams and all that people surprised her. There was a great reception and to her amazement, it wasn’t for the considered “Prince of Thailand.” It was for her. Her Sones awaited warmly.

 

The happiness inside her grew without needing mor. When Sunny started to joke with her on kakao, her mood got even better. Sunny said that on twitter there was even a trending topic that said she was the real Prince of Thailand. With that, her fun became memorable not only because she was well received but also because she “overshadowed” the other. All the events, the cries of several fangirls and even people “shipping” her with her co-model did a huge good impact for her so far wounded ego.

 

It was at that moment that she really felt better after months only dedicated to conflicts.

 

On one of the nights in her hotel, when she was chatting with Heechul, she received a message. The author surprised her a little, but it was a good surprise. Jessica sent a smiley followed by an ambiguous phrase, conducive to her alone understand. The brunette was playing with the fact that she was now the new Prince, also following Sunny’s wave of mocking.

 

Without a lot of patience to write back, Taeyeon decided to call in return.

 

- Even you ?

 

- Yep. - Jessica laughed, making the other one do the same. - Even me. It seems like this “TaeNy” thing came in handy, huh ?

 

- Sort of. I don’t want them to stop supporting Tiffany but this little joke made me feel good, I must admit.

 

- Sure, they even arranged you a new girlfriend.

 

- Yah what a girlfriend, she’s just another fangirl, not to mention that she’s too young.

 

- Oh. - The provocative laughter Jessica let out became more evident. - What prevents you it’s just because she’s too young ?

 

- Sica, stop ! - Taeyeon laughed along, lying in her bed in her white robe. - If it were for me to fall in love with someone else, it would be someone I already know well. I don’t see myself with new people.

 

- Hm...So you’re open to fall in love with someone else ?

 

- Let’s say yes…- Taeyeon smiled widely. - I’m healing for myself, see ? Nothing as one day after another.

 

- Good to know then.

 

- Why ? Do you know any friend of ours that uh...Swings that way ?

 

- A close to you, yes.

 

- Oh ? And to think I was completely alone ! Can you tell me who it its ?

 

- No.

 

- Really ?  You just throw the bomb and says nothing more ?

 

- If you stop to realize some things you wouldn’t even need me to tell you that.

 

- It’s not as if I had that...What’s the name ?  Gaydar ? It’s not as if I had a good one to see who is and who is not.

 

- You don’t need a gaydar to notice when someone is in love with you.

 

With her last phrase, Jessica made Taeyeon sit on bed abruptly, having her eyes open in a wide way.

 

- What-What do you mean ?

 

- She loves you.

 

The following silence came from both sides. Taeyeon’s because she was still processing the news and Jessica’s, because she was thinking if that would be the right time to confess.

 

- Uh...There’s someone who loves me in that way ?

 

- Yes and it’s not a new thing. Anyway, gotta go Taeyeonie.

 

- Wait, wait.

 

- Yes ?

 

- Uh...Thanks, Sica.

 

- For what ?

 

Taeyeon sighed, letting the surprise the news brought her a little aside to let loose what she had thought already for days.

 

- For everything. I know our relationship got awkward because of our fights and all but, at the same time...I know I messed up with you.

 

This was Jessica’s turn to be surprised.

 

- I was stupid in treating you coldly for a while and...Honestly, I ask for your forgiveness. I just noticed you again when I needed and yet after much, you were still there for me…

 

- It’s alright, we both have guilt in this. Don’t worry...It’s getting better and that’s what matters.

 

- Yeah, right.

 

- Good night, Taeyeon-ah.

 

- Good night. Sleep well.

 

At the end of the call, Jessica stared at a empty space for a while as she felt a smile grow in her lips by itself. She liked what she had heard for sure. Taeyeon, on the other side, kept staring at her phone’s screen, looking at the details of the call.

 

Gradually in the back of her mind a spark of realization began to appear, pointing directly to the person Jessica talked about.

 

It only needed her to be more attentive from now on.

 

                                                                                       ~~~~

 

With the start of the 3rd Japanese tour, the rapid pace of work, travels and shows has brought new energy to complete all the nine girls. Taeyeon, the one that secretly really needed all that love, soon could say she was renewed. This was one of the most precious gifts that profession could bring. Having all that vibration, the fanchants, the cries of joy when they appeared and sang their hits, made her even more grateful. The certain she had for life was that she would sing until there was people willing to listen to her.

 

And so she hoped to be.

 

Already in the final phase of the tour, after months of perfoming it, her relationship with Tiffany was back to normal. Even though deep down she still kept that little disappointment, in the present she could look her in the eyes and would feel nothing more to brood or something. She didn’t even care when the girl touched on the boyfriend’s subject, although she didn’t really paid attention. She had already trained her mind to ignore and had her heart used to the idea of living without her.

 

It was in this way that soon she felt she finally moved on.

 

Making room for new things, almost every time when Taeyeon was alone with Jessica, she would insist on discovering who it was that close person who loved her. Without much success, she could do nothing but whine and grumble as the youngest didn’t even gave her clues, always saying “She must be ready” as an excuse.

 

The idea of having someone wanting her without having the fame factor, being someone who she surely had a friendship with, having fallen for her qualities that she most likely knew, began to fill her heart. If it wasn’t crazy, she could even say there was a chance of falling in love with this person without even knowing who it was.

 

The only things Jessica answered about that person, was questions about feelings that “she” could’ve shared with her. Little did Taeyeon know that Jessica answered everything with her heart. Still, despite all that suspense, the leader began to realize some things inside her that untl then she had no idea it existed.

 

One of them was how much she liked Jessica. Having spent a period without all the interactions made their bond intensify more and more, as if making up for the lost time, rebuilding everything in a even stronger way. It was then that she slowly began to realize that maybe, the love she felt for Tiffany earlier, blinded her to everything and everyone.

 

It was at that moment that she finally realized that since January, she had achieved her freedom, as much as this came in a painful way.

 

In one night at the hotel after one of the last shows, Taeyeon was in the room Sunny shared with Sooyoung, without the presence of the latter as she was in the lobby dining. When both was lying in bed, talking random things and exchanging a good laugh, Taeyeon stopped to think about something and finally had the idea to ask.

 

Let out a brief intern question.

 

- Sunny, you who’s all experienced in the art of love-

 

- Hey, what do you mean ? - Sunny narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

 

- In the flirting business you’re a master.

 

- Oh. - The youngest laughed in a cocky way. - Ok, do continue.

 

- Tell me something...How do you know when a person is in love with you ?

 

The look the girl sent to Taeyeon proved how much she thought that was a stupid question.

 

- Seriously ? Come on Taeyeon, you’re not that naive, please.

 

- I’m serious ! I mean, when the person is close to you, you know ? How do you know the signs of…”Passion” - She quoted with her fingers. - When the person is your friend ? Without apparent flirtation ?

 

- Hm…

 

Taeyeon kept her attention on the girl, waiting for a wise answer.

 

- I think in this case if there’s nothing very explicit you have to pick the things that are provided. - Sunny looked into her eyes, nodding along. - Pick the little things that person do that isn’t common, or that a simple friend wouldn’t do.

 

The brunette nodded in understanding, letting her mind wander through the possibilities.

 

- Those things that you don’t notice you’re needing. When they do everything in their power to see you well, something like that.

 

- Hm...You talk as if you were in love.

 

- Nahh, Im’ just watching too many films. Got your answer ?

 

- Yes.

 

- You’re in that situation ?

 

-  I think so.

 

When Taeyeon looked beneath, her mind processed all that information in time to realize moments that hitherto passed unnoticed. Little things… It couldn’t be someone from outside, a unnie or a friend from another girl group. The instant she stopped to think, her heart already had a name written in it.

 

                                                                                       ~~~~

 

- Coming ! - Jessica yelled from inside the room, having it all to herself while the others were sharing. It was a fortunate chance, since she never got the opportunity, being always placed with Hyoyeon or Seohyun.

 

At the moment she opened the door, already knowing it would be someone known since they had access to that floor,  the girl still got surprised to see Taeyeon there, staring at her.

 

- Taeyeon ? What are you doing here ?

 

- I wanted to talk to you… You were going to shower ?

 

The leader looked briefly to her chest, noticing that she was covered by a robe.

 

- Oh no, I just got out of it. Come in.

 

With the space given, Taeyeon entered the room, turning around to see Jessica looking at her after closing the door.

 

- Did something happen ?

 

- Hm, kinda of.

 

- What is it ?

 

Jessica frowned, approaching the bed as she crossed her arms, waiting for an answer.

 

- I’ll be direct and if I’m wrong please stop me before it gets...Weird.

 

- Uhm...Okay ?

 

- I was talking to Sunny now and she told me some things that made me rethink, relive some stuff that has been going on…

 

Jessica seemed to notice what it was about, since she sighed somewhat weakly to herself.

 

- I don’t know if I’m wrong but as we got closer again I kinda noticed you more… Some things you did for me, a few words and actions, you know where I’m going ?

 

Taeyeon approached her a bit hesitant, alert to see her reaction. Not gaining any, she knew she could continue.

 

- Jessica the person you said that felt something for me...It’s you ?

 

Looking at the younger’s eyes surely could be more revealing than any words. Although Jessica was pretty hard to decipher, at that time Taeyeon managed to find her in a fragile state, noticing that she was actually right. Jessica was that person, she didn’t need any more answers.

 

- I’m the one you always liked ?

 

Still looking into the leader’s eyes, Jessica couldn’t speak for a moment, only nodding her head in confirmation. Taeyeon with that scene felt several things at once. Realization and at the same time something that could mean that she really could fall deep in love with that person. Or rather, perhaps, that she was already in love.

 

Jessica swallowed in the successor silence, trying to get ready to finally confess all the things she always wanted.

 

- I love you for a long time now...Since I moved away from you I began to realize my true feelings. I had this unusual jealousy and I saw that it wasn’t just admiration or a love between friends. That’s why I also blame myself for having distanced us, I did it on purpose in order to simply forget about you in this way.

 

Hearing all those things Taeyeon felt overwhelmed, but in a good way. She never imagined that Jessica felt that way for a long time like that.

 

- What I didn’t think was that it would affect our friendship so much. - Jessica continued exchanging a intense look with her. - During all this time I just tried to let go, thinking it was crazy, an impossible thing to happen between us. I thought I had forgotten you but when I discovered your feelings for Tiffany and I had the confirmation, I realized I didn’t succeeded.

 

The brunette in front of her  was saying so directly and so full of tension that Taeyeon couldn’t even react properly.

 

- Seeing you in love with her hurt me and that’s when I saw that my love for you wasn’t over and at the same time, I saw that it also wasn’t so impossible. I even imagined what we both could be...So when I saw you in that situation I decided to leave my comfort zone, do something to improve our situation. - Another step forward made Taeyeon sigh. - I didn’t offer my support with ulterior motives of taking advantage, I just wanted to take care of you, wanted to change at least this unbearable awkward thing between us. What surprised me was that you finally left a space for me to do it, you finally saw me as a friend again.

 

Jessica gulped thinking a little more how to proceed. That moment was so waited for her that even her was surprised how she wasn’t nervous in her confession.

 

- I was waiting for the right time to tell you, maybe when you got totally healed of all that stuff, but even as I waited, I still wanted you to know that there was someone who wanted to stay with you, that loved you. So I told you but not everything.

 

- Took me a long time to realize, right ? - Taeyeon smiled, pulling out a smile from her.

 

- A little.

 

- Jessica, I-

 

- You don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel the same, I just thought I’d use this time since you already found out. Last thing I want is us to get weird again.

 

- That wasn’t what I was going to say. -  Taeyeon took another step, finishing their distance in a dangerous way. Jessica held her breath as she saw her that close. - You’re right, I finally got back to see you as friend but it wasn’t only that...I saw you in something more. I saw you with new eyes like, just slowly, letting things happen in a natural way.

 

Taeyeon’s eyes went through Jessica’s whole delicate face, like if she was taking in inch by inch of that beauty. Such action even made the youngest sigh, feeling something strong inside her.

 

- Today I can say that I also have feelings for you and isn’t in a friend or a sister way. It’s from woman to woman. Now I realized that I started to notice you as a woman and that’s how I want you...Even if our situation is complicated, I want to try with you.

 

The smile that formed on Jessica’s face was no joke. She had never felt that way after such words. This was further evidence of Taeyeon’s effect in her life.

 

- Once a miserable gave me a advice to always seek happiness, no matter what consequences…

 

Taeyeon grinned with that comment.

 

- Never heard a better truth.

 

Exchanging glances and smiles, both felt radiant. It was an unexpected and delightfully surprising moment. In the short silence that followed, Taeyeon’s attention turned to Jessica’s sweet lips, being that the cue to what was about to happen.

 

When the two lips met, all those feelings that now was known to be mutual flourished, the wounds appeared to show the sign of a future scar and the so wanted happiness, finally arrived to the two young hearts.

 

---

 

It took a time but Taeyeon finally realized what that new feeling was ! Luv haha.

Sorry for any grammar mistakes and I hope you enjoyed ! If you did, I'd love to read your thoughts !

Bye !