Jessica was nervous; she had just gotten back from a big meeting about her sunglasses when Kim Youngmin, CEO of SMent had summoned her to his office. A summoning never went well, but she wasn’t shaking, or crying like the trainee who had come out the room just before she went in.

Although part of her non-shaking had something to do with the reassurance that she had a bottle of Holy Water in her pocket. It had been a joke gift from Tiffany to Sooyoung. Sooyoung had then re-gifted it to Jessica after she had become convinced that Kim Youngmin was secretly a vampire.

‘Jessica Jung, you may enter now,’ his gorgeous pale secretary said, opening the door. Mrs Secretary was the second person on Sooyoung’s “everyone’s at SM is a vampire” conspiracy list. The third was Heechul, who she had become suspicious of after he would only go in public wearing large hats.

Kim Youngmin sat behind his large wooden desk, looking as vampirey as always. He motioned to the chair in front of him, which Jessica slid into slowly. His eyes shot straight to the pair of sunglasses poking out of her jacket pocket.

‘Jessica, are you aware that there is a camera in the SNSD van?’

Jessica clenched her jaw. ‘I wasn’t aware but it doesn’t surprise me.’

Youngmin leaned forwards, grabbing his bottle of scotch he kept on his desk for his best clients. He poured himself a glass, not bothering to offer it to Jessica.

Jessica resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She noted however the scotch was slightly red. She filed that in her brain under Things To Tell Sooyoung. Any information adding to her vampire conspiracy was the way to her heart at the moment. She was sure if Jung Kyung Ho wanted to propose to her, he would have to have some vampire info as well as a ring.

‘So it won't surprise you I know of a conversation about your worth in camels?’

‘Not really.’

‘Good, this will make this conversation a lot easier then. Jessica, you’re fired. I’ve made a great deal with an Middle Eastern warlord! He offered me the full forty one camels for you! You’re going to get married to a young man who is going to blossom in a fully grown man in just nine short years, and I finally own enough camels to use them as waiters at my next cocktail party!’

Jessica’s mouth dropped open. There was a lot of things she would have questioned about that statement from Youngmin; firstly the far he had sold her to a warlord, secondly that she wasn’t even getting to the warlord, she was getting married to his nine year old and more, but she decided to address the one that offended her the most.

‘Only forty one? I’m worth more!’

‘In the van it was reasoned you were worth forty one, so I went with that. It’s not even your decision! I own you!’ Youngmin yelled childishly.

‘But that price wasn’t including the fact I’d have to put up with a war lord! Or a nine year old husband! Or living in a desert!’

‘Well you have enough sunglasses to live in the desert.’ Youngmin snapped.

Jessica gave him the dirtiest look she had ever given in her life. Crossing her arms across her chest she yelled back; ‘I’m worth at least 500 under those circumstances!’

‘Pfft!’ Youngmin sloshed his drink around in his hand. ‘You’re not!’

‘I’m not marrying him!’

‘You are! You’re fired either way! I want those camels! And if we’re not trading for them, I’m going to use the money I will save from not having a ninth soshi member to buy myself come camels!’

‘No! I don’t want to get married! I just want to sell sunglasses and sing!’

‘It’s those sunglasses that got you in this situation in the first place! They make you look shady, which reminded me of the way camels must like shade, which reminded me of the way I like shade, which made me want to buy a camel. They are majestic creatures which I can relate to, because we both like shade!’

Jessica let out a loud scream. She stood up, the force of which threw her chair backwards with a loud bang. The Secretary ran into see what the hell was happening.

‘You chipped the floor!’

Jessica ignored her, and reached into her pocket. She pulled out the Holy Water, and threw it on Youngmin.

He burst into flames.

‘Damn it, Sooyoung was right!’ Jessica cursed under her breath, she turned around to find the Secretary right behind her.

‘First you chip the floor and then you kill Youngmin? I’ll have to order a clone of him now! Do you know how long that will take?’

‘Um...’ Jessica said, the woman’s eyes bulged, telling Jessica to hurry up with her answer. ‘Like ten years?’

‘No! It will take forty eight hours, or seventy two if someone doesn’t sign for the fedex!’

‘Urg I’m not working for you es anymore. ing vampires.’