Oh, hey guys. Before you read, please take note that

This is a point of view of an ordinary girl who is a Taeganger.  Enjoy :>

Facing my laptop, I did nothing but just staring at it.

Staring at the desktop background as my mouth formed a weak sad smile.

I went scrolling around my facebook new feeds like usual,

searching around youtube to watch music videos and fanmade videos.

I smiled everytime seeing her face appears right infront of me,

even just seeing or hearing her name satisfies me much.

I followed her on instagram.

Liked every single picture of hers.

People said, there wouldn't be a chance that you will be in love with a person that you've never met.

But

In the end

They are wrong.

If its true, I wouldn't have fanatize over that petite girl,

having her picture as my wallpaper, my desktop and everything.

I wouldn't have shed a tear just by seeing her cry through a screen.

I squeal at her every movement,

seeing how cute she is

seeing how gorgeous she is.

My phone and computer,

are full of her photos 

and musics.

I may be young, 

younger than her.

But I know that,

my love for her is not just a fan crush.

But seeing her as a woman,

who had intrude into my heart.

Who is that girl you ask?

Kim Taeyeon.

That's her name.

This name had always been in my head for a long long time.

Incredibly Beautiful,

that's the meaning of her name.

I had always wish to be in one of the concert,

be your lifelong audience.

But I couldn't stand a chance,

because of all kind of things that stopped me to.

I bought your album's,

the things that you've advertised for,

and things that are related to you.

Things that you love,

became my need.

Things that you hate,

became a criticize to me.

How I wish you could notice me,

look at me even a glance,

smile at me,

or even call my name with that soothing voice of yours.

But,

my hope was crashed,

when I realize,

the fact that

we're both girls.

What disgusted me the most is,

I even fanatize over your body,

everything about you.

To keep it short,

you are my fantasy.

A dream,

that I will never have the chance to fullfil.

Other girls would be crazy over male idols,

but its extraodinary for me.

For me,

the one who I crazy of,

turns out to be a female idol.

My heart was full of pain,

eyes were full of tears,

when I knew about the innerself of you.

A girl,

who puts on a strong image,

with a smile on.

But inside you're full of sadness and secrets,

secrets that no one knows.

You as a leader,

needs to take care of 8 younger sister,

in order to survive this journey of life.

A petite leader who has a babyish face,

but a strong heart.

Seeing you apologize to the haters,

made me gone mad.

Seeing you hearing to the hater's comment for 30 minutes,

made me think,

how on earth that your able to stand sitting on the chair,

hearing someone who you don't even know criticize you.

Telling the haters to not hate on the fans,

but hate you.

But everytime seeing you break down,

making me realize that,

your actually a very fragile girl.

I love your smile,

your eyes,

your nose,

your personalities,

your dimple,

those crazy actions of yours

and everything about you

made me feel that you the most perfect girl that I've ever seen.

When I knew about the other member's dating life,

your love life became the biggest concern of mine.

I know that I'm selfish,

for not willing to let you go,

and have your own love life.

But, its hard for me...too hard.

I get jealous seeing your interaction with other people.

I even get jealous over a dog.

Ginger, your the luckiest.

But Taeyeon,

even if you want to keep your secrets forever,

I'll be patient,

waiting for you to let out.

Even if you found the one you love,

I would just walk away with my stabbed heart,

and see your happy smile.

Because your happiness means the most to me.

I might not be the one who love you the most,

but in my world,

and in my dream,

I am the one who love you whole heartedly.

You are so near,

yet so far away,

but I would rather just stand in the crowd,

seeing you,

support you,

and

loving you silently.

In my eyes, 

you are my everything,

the only person who I see and love.

But in your eyes,

I'm just the crowd of fans standing in the pink ocean crowd,

or maybe not even once.

I'm just an ordinary girl,

while you are a moon who is hanging high up in the galaxy,

surrounded by the other stars.

-END

Is this how you feel?

Mine might be quite exaggerated for you guys,

but this is how I truely feel. 

:'(