Emma knew about VIXX. How could she not? After Youngwoo had enthusiastically shown her their music video for Hyde, Emma had been hooked on them. She had bought all of their CDs the second she could, followed all of the members on Twitter, and (with the help of Youngwoo) was a member of their official fansite.

She could feel her face burn when several of the members turned their attention to her. But Emma mentally shook herself. They’re not here for me...they’re here for Suji and Jihoo...and little Kangin, Emma thought somewhat sadly.

But she washed away any unhappy feelings as the members of VIXX turned their attention to the two little ones who were happily greeting them. The leader, N, beamed brightly as he squealed, “That’s right! Appas are here!”

Kangin’s mother smiled brightly, and Emma smiled as well. N’s bubbly personality was infectious as Suji and Kangin grinned happily. The two kids at the door danced around VIXX as they entered the apartment.

“Appas take off your shoeses!” Kangin shouted. “Take off your shoeses! You can’t wear shoeses in the house!” Suji noticed this and began shouting the same thing, encouraging VIXX to listen.

Ravi, Hongbin, and Hyuk all seemed to nod at the little boy’s yelling commands. Emma couldn’t tell if it was because they were on camera, but they apologized before turning back and removing their shoes in the entryway.

Emma tried not to laugh as Suji suddenly squealed and grabbed several of the discarded shoes before running into the living room. Kangin noticed her actions and began shouting at the little girl; Kangin’s mother and Emma shared worried—but very amused—glances as Suji abruptly turned and faced VIXX triumphantly.

“Ah...baby why did you steal our shoes?” Ken whined.

“So appas can’t leave!” Suji said loudly.

“Why would we leave? We just got here!” N asked playfully.

The little girl puffed up her chest, and Emma and Kangin’s mother had to hold their breaths—because they would have laughed out loud otherwise—as Suji marched to one of the couches and began to stuff the shoes under it.

N, Ken, and the other members of VIXX laughed in amusement then as they watched the little girl “hide” their shoes.

“Now you can’t find them!” Suji cheered. She sped off back to the boys of VIXX and grabbed at Hyuk and Leo’s hands, surprising everyone by her forcefulness. “Come play appas!”

“Play?” Hyuk asked as the little girl led him and Leo into the living room. Kangin bounced happily in place before grabbing at Ravi’s hand and doing the same.

Ken and N fake pouted as they and Hongbin trailed right behind the babies and into the living room. Suji and Kangin childishly ordered the boys to sit in a large circle.

“Umma taught me this game! It’s...um...Duck Goose!” Suji said, hopping excitedly.

“There’s TWO ducks noona,” Jihoo corrected softly, but loudly enough to earn him a glare from his sister. Emma watched proudly as Suji began to run around the circle of VIXX, bellowing out “duck...duck….duck...duck…”

She went around the circle several times before Ken asked, “When is there going to be a goose?”

This earned Ken a sudden, harsh smack on the head by a very serious little girl. “Appa can’t say goose!”

Emma’s jaw dropped at Suji’s actions, and she snapped her fingers at Suji in warning. The little girl immediately looked to the young woman on the couch, and her eyes grew with realization. She seemed to freeze, and looked to Ken with big, watery eyes as she choked out, embarrassed, “Appa...I’m sorry…I’m sorry for hitting appa.”

Ken and the other members of VIXX made noises of forgiveness; Ken chuckled sympathetically before hugging the little girl. “Thank you sweetie. It’s okay,” he said to her.

This pause in Kangin and Suji’s spastic antics gave the producer enough time to intervene and help work through to the official introductions of the babies with the members of VIXX. The cameras stopped filming as the director briefed VIXX, Suji, Kangin, and Jihoo on what they needed to do for the next scene. Everyone nodded, and Suji looked to Emma like she was hurt.

“Umma…” Suji whined softly. Leo and Hyuk caught this, and looked to the little girl before looking to Emma. They watched as Suji crept to Emma’s side timidly. “Umma I said sorry. I was good. I did good?”

Emma stared down the suddenly meek child before ruffling her hair kindly. “Yes, you were a good girl to apologize. But what have I told you about touching?”

Suji sulked at Emma’s harsh tone and looked down at her feet in shame. She mumbled, “No bad touch. Always nice. No hitting. Only hugs.”

Emma smiled at the little girl’s answer and squeezed her in a hug. “Very good girl. Now, promise you won’t hit the appas anymore.”

Suji nodded, and slowly hugged Emma back. Emma looked up to see Leo and Hyuk staring at her and Suji, and she cleared awkardly before patting Suji’s back gently. “Okay. I know you didn’t mean to do it… Who’s a big girl?”

“I’m big,” Suji mumbled. Emma poked her finger playfully into Suji’s side, and the little girl giggled softly. Emma repeated her question, and Suji answered more confidently, “I’m the big girl.”

Emma laughed softly and released Suji from her embrace. Suji bounced in place, all sad feelings forgotten, before turning back to VIXX and happily joining them. Kangin’s mother leaned into Emma’s side, whispering, “I can’t believe she got so upset just because you snapped your fingers at her.”

“Oh, it’s because I do that when she makes mistakes,” Emma explained softly. “If I snap my fingers, it usually means I’m warning her about a timeout, or she’s getting a timeout. And in more extreme cases…” Emma watched a flicker of worry flash through Kangin’s mother’s eyes before smirking, “She doesn’t get sweets.”

At that, Kangin’s mother stifled a giggle, and Hyuk and Leo returned their attention to the bigger group. The cameramen started recording again, and the episode continued.

“So we’re going to play a game together to help the babies learn our names,” N explained to the camera. Suji giggled and climbed into his lap, and he hugged her as he continued, “Suji, do you want to be on this appa’s team?”

“Yes,” Suji said shyly, hugging N. Ken whined, “No fair! I want a hug!” and the little girl turned to Ken, saying, “I hugged you already.”

The other members of VIXX laughed heartily, and the teams were formed. Suji—being the only girl—picked her 2 dads for the challenge: N and Leo. Kangin, being the more vocal of the two boys, picked Ravi and Hongbin as his dads for the challenge. And lastly, Jihoo shyly crawled up to his two dads Hyuk and Ken. He sat on Ken’s lap as the “MC”—VIXX’s manager—read off a card out of the camera’s shot to explain the rules of the challenge.

“So we and appas draw?!” Kangin squeaked.

“Yes. When you draw, your appas have to guess what it is, and you have to guess what your appas have drawn,” the “MC” said.

“But we only get a minute to draw?” Ken clarified.

“Were you listening or not?” the MC asked playfully, causing the boys of VIXX to laugh.

“Appa Jihoo’s gonna cheat!” Suji accused, flailing around in N’s lap. “He’s a good drawer.”

“Really?” N gasped. Leo smiled and twirled his finger playfully in the little girl’s hair. She giggled and clasped her hands on Leo’s, forgetting about what she was doing before, which was stretching herself out dramatically on N.

Emma bit her tongue to keep herself from fangirling. Leo with little kids...Leo with little Suji! she thought. Her heart swelled with love as the rest of the challenge continued much like this. The members of VIXX were too cute when trying to play with the babies. Emma felt so privileged to be up close and watching it in person. They’ll make such good appas...goofy, but good appas…

The game had ended with Jihoo and his appas winning the challenge. Soon, the appas and babies moved on to having lunch. Emma and Kangin’s mother eyed the group warily as N and Leo put the younger members in charge of the children while they cooked. The four younger members of VIXX oohed and awhed over the babies, but somehow Jihoo had slipped away and wandered off in search of the other “appas”.

Emma tensed when she saw him quietly march his way to the kitchen. She quickly stood from her seat, and Kangin’s mother stood with her. The sound of sizzling grease filled the air just as Jihoo disappeared into the kitchen. “Should we move a bit so we can see what’s happening in both rooms?” she suggested, understanding Emma’s growing concern.

Just then, everyone heard a startled shriek followed by a little baby’s crying. Without needing to be told, Emma rushed to the kitchen. She faintly heard Ravi asking worriedly, “What happened?” as she entered the kitchen.

Her quickly beating heart calmed as she looked at the scene before her. Jihoo was crying, but was standing a good distance from any of the counters or stove tops. N, who had screamed, was currently kneeling down to pick up a bowl of salad he seemed to have dropped. He stopped when he saw Emma, and he slightly panicked before looking to Jihoo sympathetically.

“I’m sorry Jihoo. You scared me,” N said apologized, reaching to the boy to hug him. But Jihoo shied away from N’s grasp and ran to Emma’s legs for sanctuary. He clung to her and she sighed in relief, glad he was okay.

“Honey…” Emma said softly. She gently pried the boy from her legs and patted his back. “You know your appa didn’t mean to yell, right?” Jihoo’s loud, sad crying paused as he listened to Emma. He sniffled as she asked sweetly, “Did you sneak up behind appa?”

Jihoo pouted, sticking out his bottom lip in response. He glanced to N with big, teary eyes before shuffling over to the young man quickly. He tugged on N’s jeans and lowered his head in penance. “I’m sorry appa. I’m sorry I pushed your leg.”

Emma scoffed in surprise. He pushed N’s leg? she thought, bewildered. N just laughed it off, saying, “It’s okay. Appa isn’t mad. You scared me though! Were you wanting to play?”

Emma watched in disbelief as Jihoo nodded slowly. She sighed before shaking her head, not sure of what was going on with Suji and Jihoo. Well...they ARE Youngwoo’s children, Emma reasoned, suddenly feeling very tired.

“Sorry for scaring you...Jihoo umma,” N said. Emma blinked for a moment before realizing that everyone was staring at HER, expecting her to answer.

“Oh, um...that’s okay,” Emma mumbled, embarrassed. “You just never know…” N nodded in understanding, and she watched as Leo reluctantly turned back to cooking whatever he was making.

Because Jihoo wanted to spend time with N and Leo “appas”, he promised to be a good little boy and help make lunch. Emma and Kangin’s mother reluctantly returned to their seats on the couches, watching the other members of VIXX playing with Suji and Kangin.

Suji sat on top of Ravi’s back as he crawled around the living room floor; Kangin did the same as he sat atop Ken’s back. The two more rambunctious children were being loud and rowdy, involving all of the remaining members of VIXX that weren’t cooking. This left Kangin’s mother and Emma alone to talk. The two women gossiped about the latest news at first, before getting to know one another better. Kangin’s mother—whose name was Gayun—was a stay-at-home mother who had one other child, but he was already in his last year of elementary school. Then Emma was able to share that she was a student in college, studying early education. One curious question led to another, and soon the two were talking about the three babies.

“How old are Suji and Jihoo?” Gayun asked.

“About...three? Maybe four?” Emma replied, still not fully grasping the age difference between what she was used to in Canada versus Korean age standards.

Gayun nodded, seeming to know Emma’s silent struggle with ages before saying, “Were they born in ‘10 or ‘11?”

“2010.”

“Then they’re four.”

“Even if their birthday hasn’t come yet?”

“Yes.”

Emma bit her lip in confusion, but nodded and pretended to at least grasp the concept. Gayun continued to ask questions about Suji and Jihoo, which Emma didn’t mind at first. It was the typical questions Emma had heard from people before: what day were the twins born? Who do they look more like, mom or dad? Who was the dad? When did you meet the dad? How old were you two when you met? How long have you been together?

It was towards this point in the questioning that exhausted Emma. After explaining that she had known Suji and Jihoo’s dad for over six years now, Gayun gasped in surprise. She put several of the previous answers together before exclaiming in shock, “So you and...you and the babies’ appa were HOW OLD when they were born?”

Emma couldn’t have been more thankful when N popped his head out of the kitchen and said with a smile, “Lunch is ready!” Emma patted Gayun’s arm and stood quickly. She felt a bit of worry, judgement, and fear in the older woman’s eyes as she got up too.

But the woman’s stares didn’t bother her as much as when the members of VIXX glanced her way. They did this multiple times as they led the babies into the kitchen and to the big dining room table in the room. I hope they didn’t hear… Emma internally pleaded. It was a common misunderstanding, but it was one that she didn’t want the boys of VIXX to have.

All through the rest of the day and the rest of filming, Emma couldn’t help but feel the other mother’s eyes always on her. She tried to bury the ugly, probed feeling, but it hit her like a ton of bricks when she felt VIXX doing the same. As filming ended for the day, and the babies were going to go home with their mothers for the night, Emma caught nearly all of the members looking at her. Not just the babies that exhaustedly cuddled with her. But HER.

Emma picked up a sleepy Suji and led a tired Jihoo by the hand to their stroller. She hooked Suji into her seat before doing the same with Jihoo. The two whined softly, clearly tired, before Emma smiled gently. She ruffled their hair before kissing their foreheads. As she turned, Emma froze when she made eye contact with VIXX’s Hongbin. A timid, confused smile crept on her face as he continued to stare at her.

“Do you need help with anything?” N suddenly asked her. His voice made Emma jump slightly, but she shook her head.

“Are you sure?” Ravi pressed.

“It’s okay. We’ll see you all tomorrow for day two,” Emma said through a fakely bright smile.

They didn’t seem convinced, but didn’t say anything as Emma turned to leave for the day. It wasn’t until she was already out the door that she felt a hand grab her elbow. She jerked slightly at the sudden physical contact, but calmed down when she realized it was just VIXX’s maknae, Hyuk. His eyes were sparkling with worry as he opened his mouth to say something. But that something never came out. Emma pressed her lips together before faking yet another smile.

“Have a good night,” Emma offered him. He blinked numbly at her before nodding. He said goodnight to her as well. He reluctantly let go of his hold on Emma, and she walked through the building in frustrated shame.

They heard...oh god they heard… was the only thing that ran through Emma’s mind as she took Suji and Jihoo home. It was those words that plagued her as she brought the twins back for filming the next day. And it was also those words that screamed in her mind as VIXX greeted her with pity-filled eyes.

How could she ever bring up the topic to explain herself without being awkward about it?