Jinki felt really awkward the day he stood at the doorstep to Hyojin’s home – Minho’s home, their home, bag in hand, full of tasty treats from his parents’ shop. He made a promise to Minho though. He tried to stand tall and confident.

When Hyojin answered the door, Jinki noticed she looked more pregnant than expected, or just fat, but what did Jinki know about pregnant women – nothing. He’s sure he’s not even qualified for this job. If that was a real baby bump though, then she was far more along in her pregnancy before telling Minho or Minho waited to ask him for help. He’s not sure which. 

“Ah, Jinki.” A cat peeked out from behind the Hyojin’s legs and the woman tugged a loose rob around her middle, as if hiding something, smile really awkwardly forced.

“I brought you some treats..” He’s not sure what to say.

Hyojin sighed, smile dropping. “Did Minho tell you?”

“Uh..”

“He told you..” Hyojin stepped aside, letting Jinki in. 

Jinki hadn’t ever made it to Minho’s new home. The times Jinki did meet the couple for dinner it was always out, and that had been few times, everyone just too busy - or that was the preferred excuse both men made. The place is cleaner than his, bright and lively, and pictures of the couple are sitting out, both looking happy together - times Jinki had missed out on while being away. Cats sniff his feet after leaving shoes at the entry, trailing his ever step around the small apartment. 

“Just set them on the counter,” Hyojin gestured as she disappeared into the bedroom.

Jinki did as told, idly glancing around, taking the place in. He could hear Jonghyun’s teasing voice in the back of his head.

There are two curious cats watching him, ones Minho had spoken of, telling him that Haengbogi had gotten along with them after he married and moved in with Hyojin, taking their dog with him. Jinki was also reminded he was less of a cat person than a dog person. 

Inspecting the place further, it’s obvious it’s Minho’s home too; Jinki finding old trinkets from Minho’s bedroom sitting out among unfamiliar things that must belong to Hyojin. Even that old soccer plush pillow was around, the one Jinki had given Minho several years ago to try and encourage him again, looking old and worn out now, full of cat hair too.

Hyojin returned shortly, cleaned up a bit, her short haircut released from a messy ponytail and face washed with a loose sweater on that revealed the slight belly more, though Jinki thought she looked just fine before. She helped herself to go through the bag, eyes lighting up at the baked goods. 

“So you’re the stand-in dad while Minho is away, huh?”

Jinki looked embarrassed now. 

“Ah, the famous Lee Jinki..” she looked him over, mouth full of food in no time, gaze saying she knew so much about him already despite only meeting on occasion. “I’ve heard lots about you from Minho.”

“Oh, is that so..” he tried to smile.

“If Minho sent you, then I trust you, and thank you sincerely for the help.” She spoke with a full mouth, hands reaching for another treat already. “I’ve never done this whole pregnant thing before.”

Jinki wondered why her family wouldn’t help instead, but speaking of, there seemed to be no sign of her family in the home, no pictures, nothing notable that looked to be from parents. He found it too rude to pry though, at least at this stage. “Me either..” Jinki said, not much thought behind his words.

There’s a silence before Hyojin burst into laughter, nearly spilling food from . Jinki blinked wide eyes, not having meant to say anything funny. Kim Hyojin seemed like an usual woman. 

“Is Haengbogi doing well?”

“Huh?”

“Minho’s- uh.. your guys’ dog?”

“Oh.. she’s fine..”

Hyojin laughed again, taking a bite of the pastry she held. “Good, good.” She held up the food. “And again, thank you for these. They’re delicious.”

Jinki’s nose crinkled, proud as he teetered on his heels. “They’re from my family’s bakery.”

Hyojin’s eyes widen. “Really? So you have a little family business?” The woman’s expression softened, giving a distance stare, and Jinki picked up on a little sadness in it. She whispered to herself, “I really like that.. hm..”

Another cat rubbed Jinki’s legs as he stood around. Jinki gave a genuine smile, the first since entering the home.

Maybe this arrangement wouldn’t be so bad?

______________

“Noona, be careful,” Jinki still felt strange calling the wife of his younger friend ‘noona’, but he was quick to discovered her much older age, and he would show is respect to her none the less.

Hyojin sighed, readying to go out with Jinki for a bit. “Stop your fuss, I’m not even that pregnant yet,” she lied, maybe one she even believed at this point. But hiding the belly shaping like a baby bump on a fairly tall and thin woman was getting harder to hide.

It’s obviously several months into her pregnancy, and Jinki’s ‘helping’ had begun a few weeks ago. ‘Not that pregnant’ didn’t really mean much, or so he’s been learning as he read any pregnancy books he could get his hands on in spear time. They were more informative then he really wanted to know. Still, Jinki was taking the job seriously because Minho had asked him for help, put trust in Jinki.

The woman then literally tripped over her own cat, falling until Jinki caught her. 

Jinki’s not sure he’s ready for another four to five months of this.

______________

“When did you find out?” Jinki gestured towards Hyojin’s stomach, asking a question that probably wasn’t his place, but some days he just ignored social cues.

“I had a feeling before he left, but things happened and his notice came and I didn’t want to put anymore on him. I can take care of myself.”

Somehow Jinki didn’t doubt that. The woman could probably make it through the whole pregnancy without his help. She came off as quite independent.

“I should have told him,” she sighed, idly playing with the tiny wedding band on her finger, one Jinki’s eyes are drawn to too often. “But what’s done is done.”

Jinki past another pastry over to her from the box he brought with him again to feel less awkward, knowing she’s been eyeing it since the he spoke. 

“You’re a kind soul..” Hyojin nearly whimpered, then devoured the treat unlike any woman he’s ever seen before. 

______________

When Jinki had agreed to help Hyojin throughout her pregnancy, he hadn’t thought about going to classes with her, but as the baby bump grew in size, much more visible, Jinki was attending classes with her. She had been to some alone, but once she began to ask for Jinki to come with her, she was persistent, something like Minho’s personality. No wonder they clicked.

The first few meetings he accompanied the woman to he was continually mistaken as the father, making the air between him and Hyojin awkward until they laughed it off, mostly on Hyojin’s joke first.

Through each class he was caught up in breathing exercises, body stretches, own body at its limits until he was nearly crying. His military training had nothing on this. Possibly most odd of all, were all the pregnant women nearly clinging to him like he was something special, or maybe a piece of meat. He couldn’t tell, he just ached all over. Everything he said made the pregnant women giggle for some reason, even when he wasn’t trying to say something funny to break the ice. Hormone changes were severely frightening, Jinki found out first hand.

Hyojin would drag Jinki from each class, promising a home cooked meal as Jinki frowned pouts, even poured him a drink or two from alcohol she could no longer drink while expecting, so it shouldn’t go to waste.

He never realized what pregnant women went through. 

Jinki found a greater respect for women.

______________

At a doctor appointment, Jinki sat and scrolled through his cell, playing phone games he loved but hadn’t had time for with finals approaching. He waited in the quiet of the waiting room for Hyojin, attention on high scores of game play and nothing more. A nurse came to get him though, telling him Hyojin requested he be in the room. It worried Jinki.

Entering the room though, he found Hyojin laying down on an examination table, smiling and pointing for him to come closer. 

“Jinki-ya..” she said his name with affection. “I want you to see.”

On a small screen is the fuzzy, black and white of an ultrasound. Jinki’s eyes widened, and he took a step closer, smile growing, finding Hyojin and Minho’s baby.

“Amazing huh?”

“Yeah..” Jinki stared, left in awe. He chewed lips, teetered a bit on his heels, thoughts wondering. He knew full well Minho should be in his place right now. It was wrong this was how it ended up.

Still though, the whole moment felt special, very much so that Hyojin invited him to see. It meant a lot to Jinki, showing what he’s invested in, able to be proud of it too. He glanced at her when she looked away, finding the woman very beautiful while like this, experiencing something so precious to her. 

“It’s a girl,” Hyojin voice cracked with emotion, gaze locked on the screen showing the baby growling inside her. She reached back for Jinki’s hand, squeezing at his wrist where her palm landed, seeking support from a man. 

Jinki couldn’t even explain what he felt anymore.

______________

“You like her, don’t you,” Jonghyun said, “Despite what he did.”

Jinki frowned. “I never said I didn’t like her.”

“You face lights up now when you talk about her and the baby.”

Jinki shot his frown at Jonghyun, frustration showing, lack of words to express himself.

Jonghyun raised a brow, arms wrapping around his boyfriend from behind in a loose hug. “Don’t be like that, hm?” he kissed Jinki’s neck. “You’re a really nice guy, you know? Doing this for your friend.”

Jinki relaxed into Jonghyun’s touch. He wanted to believe the man, more than anything, but some days he’s still sure he’s a lowly guy.

______________

“Did Minho tell you?” Hyojin asked one day, Jinki driving her around in a cheaply rented car, still unable to afford his own but he was saving up, and these two newly weds without the funds for a car themselves either, which was one reason you didn’t go and get married like they did. It was a severe lack of planning. 

But Jinki had no part of that wedding and certainly no say. The back of the rental was full of bags from a baby-needs shopping trip to various shops, a long trip she asked him to take her on after Minho’s mother had to cancel last minute. Jinki had the time, or else he made it, doing for Hyojin what he would do for Minho, and a car was appreciated over bus rides where there’s long waits and too many bags to carry.

“Hm?”

“I don’t have family outside of him? That’s why you have to take care of me,” her voice is small, as if embarrassed by the fact.

Jinki’s lips pressed with thought. It answered a lot of questions he had. “Any family of Minho’s is a friend of mine,” Jinki nodded at her, smile back.

Hyojin leaned back against her seat, looking relaxed again with hands on her growing belly, as Jinki drove smoothly through streets of traffic.

______________

It’s obvious Hyojin was lonely, missing company, missing her husband, whenever she invited Jinki to see a movie with her, offered to make him dinner, anything to keep him around. That observation he made of an independent woman crumbled just a bit, but maybe the pregnancy was making her needy, as well as no husband around.

Jinki knew how the town talked though, and it wouldn’t look good if a ‘single’ man was seen so often around a married, pregnant woman while the husband was away. It didn’t matter so much for his image, but for the sake of others Jinki didn’t want trouble caused.

He had to keep a respectable distance. 

Hyojin seemed to understand, even if she was horribly lonely. It was scandalous enough she was pregnant with the father absent. Minho’s mother was about the only woman who took care of Hyojin. She would tell Jinki about gifts her mother-in-law gave her, how she would take her out some days. Someone outside of Jinki was capable of caring for the woman. 

Once Hyojin was out of work, off due to a pregnancy she could no longer hide, is when she grew most lonely. And boy did Jinki see her at her oddest trying any tactic to hide a growing baby bump, even willingly calling herself a fat, blaming over-eating on the worry of a young husband off at service, pinching fat in between fingers, chubby cheeks pulled. A true woman with little to no shame and a willful stubbornness, not wanting to get laid off her work. Jinki laugh at the sight.

Hyojin was funny and cute, and seemed even less concerned than Jinki with social norms.

But Jinki understood a bit more now, why his own mother was so insistent he do his service before he got very serious with a girl, because you just don’t leave behind a pregnant wife.

Jinki didn’t know what Minho had been thinking.

______________

Jonghyun had his arms around Jinki’s waist as he admired their refection with a grin. 

“It looks good on you.”

Jinki laughed and flicked fingers at the clip-on earring Jonghyun gifted him. He didn’t mind the look, actually. He confessed to something he never told anyone, “Back in high school I thought about getting a piercing.” Maybe just to get more attention from classmate friends and the whole classroom. He never did go through with it though.

Jonghyun hugged Jinki tighter, and Jinki had a moment of old time teenage immaturity, flashing a stubby middle finger at the mirror. Jonghyun laughed harder, following Jinki’s lead, giving a tough face as his real earring swung in along dangle. The two goofed off like dumb kids again and Jonghyun took out his phone for a few silly shots.

Jinki’s refection made him feel good about himself. He smiled a little more than usual.

______________

Jinki sighed as he hung up his phone. It was yet another message left for Minho to call him. The two had barely talked since that night Jinki got the desperate call from Minho for help. When the two talked it always seemed light, like Minho wasn’t even away while at home a wife was alone and with child. Before Jinki could say anything very serious, Minho would always have to go.

It sounded like he was being avoided, but then Jinki recalled not being able to return calls himself with how busy and exhausted he would get.

Hyojin though, she seemed to get through to Minho. She spoke of their calls. 

Hyojin was his wife though. Jinki was the friend.

Jinki dropped his cell to the table, spinning it around as he leaned his head back, voice a heavy sigh. He was lost in thoughts of concern and slight irritation, when his phone rang. He picked it up in a hurry, expecting Minho’s returned call.

Jonghyun’s name showed up on the screen instead.

Jinki shook his head with a growing smile, answering his boyfriend’s call.

Too bad his cooing declaration of love was still forced and unnatural.

______________

“I can’t believe this..” Jinki muttered under his breath, standing in front of the class where nearly all the pregnant women volunteered him for the ‘labor simulator’ test. The few other men with their women looked relieved they’re not in Jinki’s place. He’s the poor fool in the end.

Hyojin gave nice thumps up, lips pressed in a wide smile, showing support and encouragement. Jinki tried to smile, eyes scanning over all the women eyeing him hard, especially once his shirt was pulled up so the device could be attached to his abdomen, ladies trying to peek at a body still slightly tone from his stint in the army. 

Jinki quickly dropped his shirt as the teacher of the class stepped back, moving over to he controls.

“Now, some of you ladies have probably seen this done before,” the teacher said, and a few women giggled gleefully.

Jinki continued smiling, trying to be a good sport about it. It couldn’t be much different then being called on is classes at school or reading papers in front of a full classroom.

“So, this device simulates a female’s labor, allowing their partner to experience what they will, and hopefully give a better understand to what’s in store.” The instructor looked to Jinki. “Remember the breathing exercises we’ve been doing and you’ll be just fine.” The smile she gave was reassuring, maybe. Jinki’s not sure anymore.

As soon as the device was powered on, set to stage one, Jinki fumbled in a jolt, voice a gasping shout and eyes wide.

Some women giggled, others looked slightly horrified. 

The device was cranked up a bit and Jinki was reminded to breath- in and out, in and out. Jinki tried, he tried harder, but the pain and discomfort were growing more and more unbearable. The military should train with devices like this, because it’s more intense than you would expect and would surely separate the men from the boys.

The stage was upped again, and Jinki crashed into the table in front of him, falling to his knees in a cry. With a gasp, one loud and frustrated shout released, his inner thoughts raced by that this was mess up and wrong and Minho should be strapped up to the labor stimulator since it was his pregnant wife- Jinki shouldn’t be here at all. He forced out harder breathing, whining with a scrunched face and fingers tight in their grip to the table’s edge. He bit his lips; loud dirty curse on the tip of his tongue that he did not want spilled in front of the classroom.

The labor simulator is over halfway through its levels when Jinki shouted he had enough and it all stopped. He panted, pained and embarrassed. Glancing around the room he found some women in giggles and big eyes focused solely on him. He stopped his line of sight on Hyojin though, finding another thumbs up for him and cute smile. A good job cheer, which actually made him feel a little better.

Jinki collapsed to the floor glad he really didn’t have to give birth or endure anymore. Kim Hyojin would have his support and respect.

______________

A much more pregnant Hyojin attended Jinki’s college graduation, sitting beside his family and Jonghyun his new ‘close friend’. She smiled, cheered him on, showing happiness and support for him, something nice to see given back in return.

She congratulated Jinki, even fit herself into a few pictures with her cellphone, squeezing them together while Jinki smiled awkwardly, being sweet and guanine with him. 

Jinki was reminded he couldn’t be upset with Minho, what he did going off and getting married without a word to him, when he had landed a catch like this.

“My graduation wasn’t nearly as fancy as this,” Hyojin confessed, implying she went to a low-end college and all the shame that come with it. 

“It’s all for show, doesn’t mean much.” Jinki tried to say anything nice he could think of.

Hyojin hit his arm in a cute, playful punch, then leaned into Jinki as her arm linked in his, hanging off the young man with a laugh, telling some of her silly jokes about the decor. 

Jinki laughed too, maybe his first real one that day, nervous fizzling out.

Jonghyun wondered back through the crowd, not standing out much in his sort height. Jinki waved and urged his boyfriend over, but the two kept a respectably distance in public still. The distance seemed more than usual though, but Jinki didn’t mind, or really even notice, when he was talking to family or Hyojin.

______________

It’s not a week after Jinki’s graduation, stressed out about finding the right job, that Jonghyun broke up with him. He couldn’t say he didn’t see it coming. 

“I’m moving..” Jonghyun had nodded with a small grin, head scratched, guitar slung over his small back.

“You move around a lot, huh?”

“I can’t seem to stick around in one place for very long,” the laugh was half-insecure, even though Jonghyun still wore a brave face.

Though Jinki acted otherwise, it was a mutual parting of ways. Jonghyun probably read that under his upset mood. They didn’t click romantically, never really did. The was good, but that wasn’t enough to keep their relationship afloat. Jinki was grateful for what Jonghyun had taught him about a lot of things, even himself, and even with the feeling of some sort of obligation towards him, a feeling of owing back - be in love, Jinki couldn’t. He realized that’s what he was trying to do and that’s why it never really worked. He was grateful but he wasn’t in love.

Under it all, Jonghyun probably read Jinki better than he thought, knew where his heart was and it wasn’t with Jonghyun and that was okay with him as he gave a friendly goodbye smile and hug, setting off on his next trip, never in one place too long.

Jinki was single man again.

But being single meant any time and stress put into his secret relationship could go into work, and then Hyojin’s pregnancy.

Jinki pressed on. One more month closer to Minho’s return, one more week, one more day…

______________

Jinki could breathe a sigh of relief, getting spotted a job finally after gradation, one local where he could stick around for at least his parents, not wanting to wonder too far from them when he’s the only child and they have a small business to keep running.

Mostly paperwork and designs are his workload, still a fresh face out of school and lacking respect from elders. But with time and hard work, he had potential to make it someday.

It was better than those old summer jobs of delivery boy services.

Jinki found a bright side, a steady paycheck, and means to pay bills piling up. 

At the end of a day, it’s enough and he’s thankful.

______________

Jinki had been hearing whispers around familiar places, then it was confirmed right to his face by his mother that Yoonhee was seeing someone, it had been several months too, it was something serious.

Mother looked at Jinki with sad eyes. 

“Ma,” Jinki tried a teasing angle to sooth his mother, “It’s okay, I’m not worried about it.”

“I am.. I loved that girl.”

Jinki could hear his mother holding back ‘she was perfect for you’.

“What about the other girls?” Jinki teased with a grin, poking at the very few, short-lived dates he had as a teenager.

Mother pinched her boy, not appreciating the teasing.

Jinki held her in a hug still, giving her head a gentle kiss knowing his mother only means her best. Then Jinki hid his deep frown in a press to his mother’s soft hair. 

______________

“Noona…”

“I’m so embarrassed..” Hyojin hid her face.

Jinki glanced wide eyes around the state of the apartment he just stepped into with a bag of groceries. It was a mess. Cats stepped over everything, meowing with maybe as much despair as their owner. 

“I can’t bend over to pick up.”

Jinki took in Hyojin’s very pregnant appearance, lips curling because somehow it was enduring and she still looked beautiful in a way Jinki had slowly come to find.

Jinki offered to clean up and Hyojin offered a meal that required no bending in return. A high-five with wide grins sealed the deal.

Jinki discovered they made a pretty good team.

______________

“Do you think there’s tension between me and Minho’s mother?”

Jinki’s phone fumbled in his hand, eyes glancing up from where he sat with Hyojin in the back of a bus away from the crowd at the front. He didn’t know how to respond to that at all. He hadn’t noticed, but he’s not a woman either and they tend to pick up on those types of things- or so he’s learned with age.

The two had taken a bus ride to stopped at a place near Minho’s old home to meet Hyojin’s mother-in-law for a meal and chat about the pregnancy, or rather the two women did. Jinki made himself scarce after greeting Minho’s mother and she cooed at him a bit for how grown up he’s gotten and they didn’t see each other like they used to. Jinki had smiled nervously, no time to think of how she would probably hate him now if she knew what he’s done with her son. He’s no longer the awkward teenager she liked to feed snacks too and praise for his good scores in school.

She had greeted Jinki first while Hyojin’s head hung. 

“I feel like there’s something off. Maybe I’m not what she excepted her son to marry,” she sighed. “He was- is too young, I should have said no.” Hyojin dropped in venerable confession. She seemed to have noticed and stop herself from saying anymore.

Jinki turned to the window at that, not able to say he disagreed about marrying Minho at his age. He shouldn’t be sitting with someone else’s pregnant wife right now. in a deep breath, Jinki turned back to her, head tilted smile wide and eyes crinkling with it. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it will be fine.” He patted her hand rested at her lap, trying to reassure the woman.

Hyojin finally smiled again, even leaned her head to his shoulder in a hugging manner before pulling back, because the town would love more gossip. 

“You’re almost like an oppa, with the warmest smile.”

Jinki’s head ducked with sudden shyness. 

Hyojin laughed.

______________

Still single, and not really looking, Jinki thought much more about Yoonhee than usual, whispers about her still floating around- mostly coming to him from his mother. He wondered what she was up to, if she was really happy with her boyfriend. She didn’t visit town much anymore, and when she did, they didn’t go out for lunch. Like Minho, he missed Yoonhee. Two important pieces of his life just seemed missing, and when they were in place, he was sure that once the day came they wouldn’t be together anymore, he would be fine without them.

He’s wasn’t fine though. 

Yoonhee probably had a hotshot boyfriend now, treating her better than he ever could have. He hoped she’s happy. People like her deserved it.

______________

Jinki had been instructed over text message to let himself in on arrival to Hyojin’s home. He kicked off shoes at the entry, spotting a cat peeking around the corner at him, before stepping into the home to find Hyojin sitting at small table with some sort of crafts scattered all over.

“Noona, what are you doing?”

“I like to keep busy, so I’m making a photo album for the baby.” Hyojin held up her work so far, showing off bright colors and glitters. 

“It’s..” there’s hesitation in his voice, eyes squinting, “Cute.” 

Hyojin laughed, “I’m not very artsy… but it’s something to do.” 

Jinki stepped closer, finding a mess the woman wouldn’t be able to clean very easily. Jinki had learned she didn’t like lots of free time or to be bored for some reason, but it wasn’t his place to ask why. It seemed she would go to some extremes just to distract herself.

“You wanna help?”

Jinki’s brows raised, lips parting. 

“It’s fun~,” she tried to entice with a sing-song voice, looking really cute.

Jinki nodded, head hung in defeat with a snorting laugh. Hyojin nearly squealed and Jinki took a seat at the table. He looked over all his options from bright papers and sparkles to scissors and gel pens.

“Minho will like this, won’t he?”

Jinki wasn’t sure why she was asking him that like he was some authority. “Yeah,” he smiled though, something sweet and genuine, assured in knowing Minho well enough he could answer confidently. “He’ll love it.” He wasn’t sure why, but she often asked him, point at things, if Minho would like it, as if he was the authority on Minho rather than the wife. Jinki hadn’t been around Minho for months, what did he really know about them? Why did she keep asking him?

Hyojin liked the sound of that, looking extra concentrated in her work then, that was until she began throwing silly jokes around and cutting out paper mustaches to hold up between them. Jinki had a hard time sitting still in his work with all the snorty giggles.

Kim Hyojin was fun.

______________

“Like this?” Hyojin took her stance, a little wobbly on her feet. 

Jinki stepped closer, trying to help and also not wanting a needle pricking the pregnant woman anywhere; he didn’t want to regret bringing over a game to play to entertain a bored Hyojin. Darts probably wasn’t the wisest idea, but it sounded better than the board games they’ve played. At least he was far better at this game then her, so there wasn’t the change of her competitive streak to sneak up on him and kick his all over the board games he proclaimed to be so good at. It reminded Jinki of playing board games with Minho when they were young, and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

Being single, no obligation or commitment elsewhere, Jinki really had more time to give Hyojin, and so he did, for better or worse. 

“Noona,” he took her hand, positioning the dart correctly. “Like this.” He stood behind her, flush to her curves, palm on her arm and other guiding her hand back and then quickly forward, dart releasing to hit the target. She smiled at the better shot and Jinki lingered longer than need be, finding the woman felt nice pressed against him and she smelled good, nose taking an extra sniff as his head tilted and face brushed her soft hair.

“You did good,” Jinki praised, hand still holding her wrist as it fell to her side. Her head turned slightly and he smiled, rush throughout his body of her warmth and scent so close against him something sharp and real.

He should let go.

Hyojin stepped forward towards to the board hanging off the wall to pry darts off it, doing the separating for Jinki. She spoke of getting better at it, really liking the game, back towards Jinki as he stepped away with wide eyes and lips. His hands were shoved in pockets, head nodding in agreement she’s getting better.

Glancing around Jinki found a cat sitting on the arm of the couch watching him, clearly judging him like it knew all too well what his actions had meant, catching Jinki in the act of subtly flirting with a married woman, and not just any, but his own friend’s wife.

If Hyojin noticed she didn’t comment on it. Instead she’s backed up again, throwing darts and stumbling in slippered feet with a baby bump tossing her thin weight around a bit. 

Jinki kept his hands to himself the rest of the game, rest of the night even, unable to explain his actions.

______________

Jinki had been asked to stay awhile one day he stopped by to see how Hyojin was doing. The whole apartment seemed so quiet and Hyojin sat on the couch, gaze distant as she rubbed the large baby bump. Jinki twiddle his thumbs, lips bitten, not sure what to say in such a moment.

“Jinki-ya? Did you have a happy childhood?” Hyojin asked suddenly, gaze still far off.

Jinki jumped in his seat a bit, not expecting such a question. He gave it thought. Sure he had a happy childhood, maybe lonely with working parents and social skills not very sharp or taught correctly to him, but overall it was good. He could see by now that the worry had as a child of abandonment really wasn’t that, it was parents trying to provide, making it through life and give Jinki a good education with the best schools around. So he answered, “Yeah, I think so.”

Hyojin gave a weak smile, “I didn’t.” She rubbed her belly still, eyes slowly blinking. “It was awful, full of hurt and neglect, dirty men coming and going and a mother cursing my existence, always-- always made it very clear to me I never should have been born.” Her already small voice fell quieter in the still room, “How can someone do that to their child? How..”

Jinki looked away, mouth chewed harder. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to say something, and if so, what would he even say?

“I don’t even know where my mother is anymore.. I really truly don’t know where she is- if she even thinks of me..” Damp eyes move as if searching for something, expression on a grown woman suddenly that of a very small child.

Jinki leaned to the edge of his seat, not sure what to expect but ready to be there.

Hyojin looked up then, in blink of an eye that moment gone. A bright smile was back on her beautiful face, and as Jinki looked closer it reminded him so much of Minho’s fake smiles. She gave a snorting laugh, voice loud again, teary eyes blinked dry. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you this. I haven’t even told Minho… I’m such mess.” She rubbed her face.

“Noona..”

“I think I can see what he sees in you now, Lee Jinki. You’re a special kind of existence in a world like this.”

Jinki smiled a bit, not even sure what that really meant. He guessed he should be flattered.

“He really loves you a lot, you know..” her sudden gaze on Jinki nearly sparkled, and he had to turn away, grin crooked and breath a huff as if disbelieving her words. He missed the woman’s gaze drop, as if a little sad suddenly, but the expression was quickly hidden away, like much of the woman, sweet but secretive.

“Ah..” Hyojin sighed as she leaned back comfortably again, “I’ll tell him everything when he gets back, hm. Then we can raise this child together with only love and happiness.” She looked down at her belly again, rubbing it with both hands, grin full of fondness.

Jinki watched, sure it shouldn’t be any other way, even if his chest still tightened and in some sick fantasy he wished he could be her instead.

This was Minho’s happiness. He deserved every bit of it.

______________

In a kitchen where dirty dishes are piling up again, Jinki set a bag down from shopping for Hyojin, beginning to put groceries away as he said, “Just rest today, I’ll make you dinner.” Which wouldn’t be as fancy or delicious as her cooking, but it should be passable.

He had picked up a few things after asking his mother what was best for a pregnant woman to eat in her last months. The first time he asked such a question, what a pregnant woman needs, his mother squealed, thinking he knocked a girl up. If he could, Jinki avoided asking his mother those sorts of questions. At least now knowing it’s for Minho’s wife and not his own child, mother laid off with prying questions. Her gaze was sharp though, silent when he knew she would like to slap his head and ask why he would do something like that and what it would look like. Like mother being devoted to a husband and family, Jinki had his own sort of devotion, which couldn’t easily be explained.

Hyojin rubbed her baby bump, smile appreciative, swollen feet outstretched as she sat on her couch surround by two fluffy cats. She looked so much more exhausted these days.

While placing groceries away in the kitchen, Jinki’s hand slipped clumsily on the fridge door, knocking a bit of the clutter around. Trying to fix it he found a gradation picture of him and Hyojin together nestled beside pictures of Hyojin and Minho, particularly one of them each holding one of the two cats with attractive smiles. Fingers brushed over them to find something that looked like a wedding photo. Yoonhee in a causal white dress and Minho looking even more humorously casual considering the event, both standing around some courthouse – a simple and hushed wedding. A sudden wedding Jinki hadn’t been invited to, wasn’t even aware of. Beside that pinned up photo was an ultrasound picture nestled between them all too, happy note scribble on it in Hyojin’s handwriting. He stared a long moment, gaze running over the collage of pictures. Jinki looked almost like he belonged there beside all her family photos.

He smiled, not sure what to think, but taken by the gesture nonetheless.

______________

It’s at one of those last few doctor appoints, a due date drawing closer, when Jinki’s hand was suddenly clutched and Hyojin whimpered. That bubbly emotion and smile of when he picked her up earlier that day was suddenly gone. 

Her small voice nearly shook. “I’m afraid.. I’m afraid to have this baby.” 

Jinki glanced around the waiting room, finding not many people and likely no one to hear Hyojin but him. He looked to her out of the corner of his eye, seeing the woman staring down at her pregnant belly.

“I didn’t tell Minho when I found out- I didn’t tell him for so long cause I’m afraid to have this baby.”

“Noona, it’s okay..”

The grip on his hand tightened. “It’s not okay. What if I’m a horrible mother- just like her.”

Jinki blinked wide eyes at Hyojin’s tearful expression that suddenly looked up at him. Through the pregnancy he’s seen some ups and downs, but not those types of tears, not that much fear and pain in her gaze. With a blink, tears ran down her chubbied cheeks.

“I’m so afraid to be a mother..”

“Noona.. you’re..” Jinki tried to find the right words, and it was clearly a moment he didn’t want to screw up with fumbling manners. “You’re wonderful and great and I know you’ll be a great mom.”

“Really?” she asked, needing that assurance so bad right now.

“Really,” Jinki answered, because for some reason it actually meant something coming from him.

Jinki squeezed Hyojin’s hand gently, smiling and nodding. 

The woman wiped her reddened face, giving a weak smile now, trying to pull herself together while in public like she was. “Thank you. I just.. I don’t-”

Kim Hyojin’s name was suddenly called, cutting off whatever the woman wanted to say. Jinki encouraged her to get up, standing to offer her help in getting to her feet so she could take her appointment and do it with a confident smile.

Once Hyojin was gone, Jinki dropped his head in his hands, strong front crumbled yet again. He could only hope for the best, it’s what he always seemed to do. 

He sighed to himself, “Minho-ya..”

______________

“Jinki-ya~.”

Hyojin was about a month away from being due, when she would eagerly grab at Jinki’s hand, bring it to feel her baby bump. “She is kicking again.”

Jinki grinned by force, nearly tugging his hand away, feeling awkward. But Hyojin made it look so natural, like it wasn’t a big deal letting some other man touch her belly. The two sat outside at a bus stop, waiting for Hyojin’s ride home, and little Haengbogi waggled around on a leash at their feet.

“Minho and I have been discussing names over the phone. I’m so ready to have this baby.”  She looked to him with a small smile. “What do you think of Minji?”

Jinki laughed at first, still not sure why she’s asking him such personal things again. Shouldn’t this stay between just husband and wife?

“Or Jimin? Maybe Misook?”

“They all sound nice, noona,” Jinki pat at Haengbogi, not sure what to say.

Her eagerness was a contrast to that moment in a waiting from a couple weeks ago. With a glance at her though, Jinki could still see her apprehension, but she hid it well with a wide smile. His hand was even squeezed again, her drawing strength from him, he guessed. He didn’t know why she found him so strong though. He certainly didn’t feel it.

Maybe as surprised as her, he couldn’t believe the baby was coming.

Jinki froze up a moment, thought processing reaching an area he hadn’t before. Hyojin was due soon but Minho wouldn’t be out of the military for a handful of months still. So, with no family to speak of, who was going to help her with the baby after birth when her mother-in-law wasn’t able to?

Hyojin raised a brow. “You okay?”

Jinki looked suddenly very sickly pale. 

“I uh.. I..” Jinki cleared his throat. “Are you sure you don’t want me to ride with you?”

“It’s not even in the direction of your home,” she laughed cutely. “I’m a big girl, I can get home even with this,” she pointed to her belly. “But thank you- for meeting me today.. I’m..” Hyojin looked thoughtful, “I’m glad.”

Jinki nodded. The two ate out and Haengbogi had been brought so she could visit with the dog again, and that’s about it, but it seemed to make the woman happy.

With that, Hyojin took her ride home and Jinki left for his own home with Haengbogi at his side, overwhelmed by the idea of Hyojin actually giving birth and what that could mean.