Home.  It was a concept that was both foreign and yet so familiar Bom could never forget it.  For twelve years, she had avoided all contact with the place she had been born and now she that couldn’t anymore, she wasn’t quite sure what to feel.  Taeyang and Daesung’s hands were firm on her arms as they guided her forward, not a word spoken amongst the group as they walked.

                Her body ached from the very brief combat they’d engaged in and she idly wondered if she really had wanted them to catch her.  She could have fought harder… done more to prevent her current situation.  But to what end?  To avoid this event for another few years?  The bitter thought plagued her mind and she sighed quietly, taking in the strange but familiar scents of the bamboo forest that protected and hid the presence of the Yenega Clan within.  It was no secret they were here, but only those who were on good terms traveled to their grounds lightly.  And Bom no longer felt she had that boon.

                Blindly, she raised her eyes up, blinking with the sounds around her: a breeze whispered in the long poles of the bamboo and rustled the thin leaves; birds called to each other in the distance; and her companions walked without fear now that their task was all but fulfilled.  What she might give to see the world around her now with more than just her memory…

                Despite her , she was at peace for the moment as she gave her mind permission to walk through older, kinder memories.  There were many hours she had spent with him and her friends running and flying amidst the bamboo forest, practicing their skills and trying to best one another.  She couldn’t help but smile at the thought and though neither of her companions said anything, Bom knew they noticed by the way their hands squeezed her forearms lightly, a gentle reminder they were there.

                Her breath hitched slightly when the close feel of the path opened into something broader and full of life in a different manner.  Distant voices reached her ears and Bom heard the telltale signs of a flourishing village.  Her heart ached upon hearing the laughter of children nearby and her steps faltered slightly.  It was different and yet exactly the same as she remembered; the voices of the children could well be her younger brother and his friends…

                Their party slowed and she perked up at the approach of quick footsteps that sent her heart racing because she didn’t know who they brought with them.  Was it…  “Minji!”  Bom inhaled quickly at the voice and felt her heart clench painfully in a mixture of tentative joy and concern.

                “Seungri!” the young woman called in return, rushing to meet him with a rustle of cloth that told Bom they were likely embracing.

                At the confirmation, Bom could have swore the ground opened beneath her feet to let her fall forever, but only her stomach dropped as she swallowed around a mouth that had become far too dry.  “Seungri?” she whispered, turning to stare his direction with confusion and uncertainty.

                His voice had changed in the time since she had last seen him, but it was her little brother… come to meet Minji as if he was expecting her.  By the Blade, it couldn’t be.  He was the forsaken father of Minji’s child?  That was impossible.

                “You,” his voice snapped her from her internal argument, stabbing at her being with the amount of venom he managed to infuse in a single word.

                Bom lurched forward slightly with a choked whimper, struggling to make sense of the information she had heard and the anger in his voice directed at her.  Once more, Daesung and Taeyang’s hold kept the blind woman standing steady, and she couldn’t seem to work properly so she closed it instead and vainly searched for Minji.  “Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered in a heartbroken tone.

                “I couldn’t,” Minji murmured in a quiet response, her voice conflicted.

                “Don’t you dare come back and think you have the right to ask anything,” Seungri scowled, the ire of his features easy enough to feel.  Bom flinched as if he’d slapped her and turned her head away, staring blindly at the ground while tremors flickered through her body sporadically.

                “Enough Seungri,” Dara urged with the sound of footsteps, her voice calmly controlled.  “Go ahead and take Minji inside.  Jiyong will accompany you,” she instructed though the latter seemed slightly put off by being recruited for what he obviously considered babysitting duty.

                “Alright kids,” he spoke in a falsely cheery voice that served to fracture the tension building in the vicinity.  “It’s been a long morning and I could use some tea.  What about you, Seungri?  Minji?  Tea sound good?” he asked while he shepherded them off without waiting for them to respond.

                Bom could still feel her brother’s eyes on her as he walked away and it was a struggle to manage one shaky breath after the next.  “How?” she breathed in disbelief while she finally picked her head up with burning eyes.

                “It’s not our place to say,” Taeyang murmured in a subdued tone.

                “Come on, Bom.  He’s expecting you,” Dara reminded her evenly, somehow managing to sound utterly composed and still sympathetic at the same time.

                Him.  That was the only thought that allowed Bom to cobble herself together with enough anger so that she could take a breath and stand up straight.  He had to be behind this.  There was no other explanation.  “Take me to him,” she whispered fiercely.  Now that she was actually here, there was no point in avoiding it any longer.  And now she had another reason to speak with the heartless bastard.

                In silence, her companions led the way and Bom pieced together an emotionless mask as they headed through the village.  Voices died down upon their approach and she heard no few amount of whispers aimed her direction as they passed.  The speakers were careful to keep their voices low enough that she couldn’t make any of the words out distinctly, but Bom knew she was the topic of conversation.  They were making no effort to keep her presence hidden and the atmosphere shifted slightly to something Bom couldn’t quite define.

                At last, she felt a change in their surroundings and gritted her teeth against the appearance of steps.  His home did not have them the last time she’d been here.  Few did.  “The Elder’s house?” she asked quietly, turning her head from side to side while waiting for an answer that didn’t come.

                Ahead of them, a door slid open and Bom heard Dara slide her shoes off and set them aside.  She was guided to the threshold where her companions did the same before reaching down to remove hers.  Their fingers on her feet startled her and she flinched but obliged them by lifting one shoe at a time.  “There’s a step up,” Daesung reminded her and she couldn’t find it in her to be annoyed though she remembered it well enough.

                Cinnamon and cedar wood.  The familiar scent took her breath away as soon as she stepped inside and the anger started to give way to other emotions she would rather not feel.  It was a combination that dominated her memories before she lost her sight and made her feel things she had long since thought forgotten.  Only, the further they walked, the stronger it became and the more her knees wanted to turn to jelly because of the conflicting thoughts in Bom’s head.  Another set of doors slid open and she knew without anyone telling her… he was there.

                “Bom,” his deep voice thrummed through her like it always had and sent a terrible shiver down her spine.  “Welcome home,” Seunghyun smiled, the words sincere.

                He smiled at her though.  She could hear it in his voice and the fact infuriated Bom.  Immediately, she growled in the back of and lunged against her captors, catching them by surprise so that they actually moved forward a step before restraining her better.

                “Let her come,” Seunghyun called softly, waving them from her.

                They were reluctant to comply but Bom tensed as they slowly did as he commanded.  No sooner did their hands relax than she was lunging forward again, attacking him with all the anger she could funnel into her bound form.  “You!” she cried through clenched teeth before she kicked at him, feeling out where he was located.

                Seunghyun didn’t say a word in response.  He simply deflected her strike and allowed her to try again.  She dropped low to manage an abbreviated sweep and he hopped over the limb, landing easily in front of her.  Standing upright, a roundhouse kick was absorbed against his body when he blocked, so she withdrew her foot and generated enough momentum to try a spinning heel kick with the same raised leg.  It missed completely and she lurched to the side, off balance and unable to correct herself without the use of her arms.  Still struggling to regain her footing, Bom cried out in defiant complaint when hands gripped her shoulders, pushing her back to stumble over the outstretched leg planted in her path.

                “Stop!” Seunghyun commanded gruffly as he guided her body to the ground in a controlled fall and then flipped her onto her stomach, pinning her in place with his hand holding tight to her bound wrists.

                “Don’t touch me!” Bom hissed with her forehead pressed hard against the ground, her eyes clenched shut and her body trembling under his hand, ashamed at being apprehended so easily.

                “Leave us,” Seunghyun calmly requested, not moving an inch from his current position though Bom struggled uselessly under his hold.

                “You sure?” Dara asked with some hesitation.

                “Ne,” he confirmed after a second’s pause.

                “As you wish,” she murmured, quietly calling for Daesung and Taeyang to follow after her while they left Bom alone with Seunghyun, the one person she wanted nothing to do with anymore.

                Bom waited for him to say something, though she didn’t know what to expect at all.  She only knew that he’d been sending people after her since the last time she’d faced off against him, fully intending to hurt him as much as she could; maybe even kill him at the time.  Her face burned with shame at her current position though, pinned under his hand so easily, and she could only think about everything that had driven her to be so angry with him, including this latest injustice.  “Afraid to fight me fairly?” she finally spat when the silence lengthened uncomfortably between them and all he did was maintain his pressure against her back.

                “No,” he whispered calmly in response.

                “Then untie me and we can settle this,” Bom growled, turning her head so that it appeared she was looking over her shoulder.

                “No,” Seunghyun sighed, clearly saddened by her response.

                “Why not?” she snapped back, struggling under his hands again.

                “We need to talk, Bom,” he told her flatly, leaving no doubt in his voice.

                “We have nothing to talk about!” she spat at him, jerking against his hold with a wordless cry once more.

                His fingers tightened about her wrist as the only outward sign that he was upset with her.  “We have everything to talk about,” he stated in a tone that brooked no argument.  “No more running,” he whispered then as the fingers of his other hand slipped under her hair to brush against the nape of her neck, searching for the tiny, emergency blade she hid beneath the thick curtain.

                “No!” Bom tensed in denial and bit her lip hard enough to taste blood.  The feel of his fingers against her bare skin conjured older memories still and she hated the way she remembered how he used to make her feel.  She hated how he remembered all of her hiding places so that she would never be truly without a weapon on hand.  Most of all, she hated that she could still feel something more than hate at his hands.  His skilled but gentle fingers explored her body professionally, never once making her question if he would dare take advantage of her, but she couldn’t deny how the feel of him nearby tore at the walls it had taken her years to construct.

                “Shh,” he soothed with a voice that made her eyes ache for the tears she refused to shed in his presence.

                “I hate you,” she murmured pitifully as she tried desperately to convince herself of that fact and finally rested lax on the ground when he was through, feeling completely vulnerable and exposed.

                “I know,” Seunghyun agreed and Bom had no doubt he really did.  “I’m going to untie you now,” he explained as his fingers worked at the knots keeping her bound.

                Bom nodded in mute understanding, keeping her head ducked against her shoulder.  Her hands ached as soon as the bindings came free, allowing full feeling to return to her extremities.  Flexing her fingers, Bom brought them to rest on either side of her shoulders as she vainly tried to gather her thoughts with the knowledge that continuing to try and fight him with no weapons was useless.  She felt Seunghyun’s gaze resting mutely upon her and it was suddenly too much to be lying on the floor helplessly in front of him.  Bom pushed herself into a sitting position, doing her best to face him evenly as she folded her knees under her.  Again, it seemed as if he was going to wait for her to say something first.  Fine then.  If he wanted to talk, they could talk.  “Why did you use Minji like that?”

                “Because I knew it would work,” he answered evenly.  “And she wanted to.”  When Bom looked up to blindly meet his gaze, he added, “For Seungri.”

                “What did you do to Seungri?  Why is he forsaken?” Bom demanded immediately with her hands bunched into fists in her lap.

                Her question did not make him happy as the heavy sigh that followed indicated.  “Because of you,” he eventually admitted softly, as if he was actually sad to tell her such news.

                The answer didn’t register at first and Bom blinked in confusion.  Anger suffused her features next as she hissed back, “You lie!”  Her hand reflexively reached for a weapon that wasn’t there and she left her arm trembling in place as it rested across her body.  When he didn’t refute her or offer any response, she growled, “I demand to see my parents!”

                “You can’t,” he responded, the weight of his gaze a heavy force against her.

                A sick, cold feeling settled in the pit of Bom’s stomach at his words but she refused to believe what they meant.  “Why not?” she asked instead, clinging to her willing ignorance.

                “They’re dead, Bom,” he explained in a neutral tone, but she could hear in his voice the way he wanted to reach out and comfort her.  He didn’t though, for which she was glad.  Bom would have rejected it anyway.

                “No,” she breathed, shaking her head in denial.

                “So is your sister,” he added before she could ask for herself.

                “No!” Bom responded in a knee-jerk refute.  It couldn’t be.  It wasn’t possible.

                “Seungri was the only one of your family who failed to successfully take their lives,” Seunghyun clarified, but this time he was unable to keep the regret from his tone.  “Though the attempt left him damaged.”

                Mutely, Bom continued to shake her head, angry at the truth of his words and filled with self guilt that she hadn’t known.  “No…  It can’t be,” she murmured to herself, as if trying to find a flaw or loophole in his explanation.  But there were none.  “Why?” she finally asked, raising her head as if to look right at him.

                “You know why,” he sighed, the slight shift in his voice letting her know he turned his face away.

                “I left because of what I did!” Bom practically yelled at him.  “I banished myself as punishment for it!”

                Anger colored Seunghyun’s voice when he growled back, “You ran away because you couldn’t face yourself or what you did.”

                “And I’ve been trying to make up for it ever since!” she pointed at him fiercely, not denying his claim.  “Someone should have told me,” Bom stated in anger.

                “It was your responsibility to keep in touch,” Seunghyun reminded her with far more control than she could manage.

                “I was trying to make amends!” Bom defended herself.

                “Is that what you’ve been telling yourself this whole time?” he asked incredulously, the pity in his voice a weapon against her.

                “I couldn’t face myself back then.  Let alone them!” she gasped frantically, feeling her heart race in her chest as closed up.  “They were supposed to be fine!”

                “You never tried to contact them because deep down you knew,” Seunghyun told her flatly and she knew he was pointing his finger at her.

                “I didn’t!”

                “You knew!  But you were too afraid to face the truth,” he accused hotly.

                “And what truth is that?” Bom demanded in a bitter tone with her hands balled into fists at her side.

                The silence was deafening and she knew he didn’t want to say the next part but his tone was firm when he spoke again.  “You couldn’t take responsibility for your dishonor and ran away so your family offered their lives in compensation.  A blood debt was owed.  You know that too.”

                Bom clenched her teeth so hard her jaw ached as she took a shaky breath that hissed through the spaces.  Overwhelmed by anger and renewed grief, she leaned forward to lash out at Seunghyun.  When he easily caught her wrist, she tried again with her other hand with similar results.  “Gyah!” she choked, bowing her head as he didn’t say a word; just held tight to her wrists firmly.  “I never wanted to hurt her,” Bom admitted in a whisper while it felt as if her chest was being constricted.  “It was an accident.”

                “You killed an innocent, Bom,” Seunghyun reminded her harshly, letting her hands go so she could rest them on the ground in front of her.  “It’s not something you can just run away from and pretend didn’t happen.”

                “I know that!” Bom snapped back at him as she picked her head up, swallowing the lump in so she could speak further.  “She was my friend!”

                “She was my sister!” Seunghyun growled while he grabbed both her upper arms in his hands and held tight, a measure of his grief and anger shining through.

                It was impossible for Bom to choke back the sob that bubbled from as his fingers bit into her arms hard enough to hurt.  Her battle against the tears failed entirely and salty trails made their way down her cheeks as she took a shaky breath.  “I was mad at you,” she whispered thickly, her tight throat making words hard to produce.

                “And you had every right to be,” he admitted in a broken voice, accompanied by his fingers loosening their hold as he audibly swallowed.

                “I wanted you to hurt as much as I did,” she admitted dejectedly, remembering her anger as she lashed out at him in her blind rage.  Young and heartbroken, Bom attacked Seunghyun out of anger and pain, but neither anticipated his younger sister trying to stop them.  She should have stopped as soon as she knew the other woman was there, but… she was so angry and hurt back then.

                “What makes you think I didn’t?” he asked her in response, his voice holding a world of pain she had never even thought to consider.  “I failed us both.  I know that.  But you failed us too, and never came back to try and fix it.”

                “You wouldn’t talk to me!” Bom whimpered, her bottom jaw trembling so that her teeth chattered.  For days after she woke up to her current reality, he avoided her completely.  “You didn’t care,” she accused bitterly, turning her head away as she clung to the only thing that kept her from falling to pieces: her long standing anger.

                “Of course I cared!” he exclaimed, upset that she could even think otherwise.  “There has not been a day that has gone by since you left that I have not thought about you,” he promised her breathily, the tense hold of his hands trying desperately to convey what she couldn’t see on his face.

                Slowly, her anger died down and confusion replaced it painfully, allowing other emotions to seep in as well.  “Why did you let me go that day?” she asked with her face still turned, recalling the event that had started all of this madness.  She felt Seunghyun’s shoulders drop before he removed his hands and sighed.

                He fidgeted in place, the rustle of cloth betraying his inability to sit still just then.  “Because I had faith in you.  But I was wrong that day.  It was not your mission to complete.”

                Bom winced at the reminder of her failure.  She could still recall the look on his face when he agreed to let her go in his stead.  Because he was proud of her and the progress she’d made.  Because he believed in her.  “I don’t know what went wrong,” she admitted dropping her head to her chest as more tears fell to stain her hands clasped in her lap, the picture of defeat.

                “And it doesn’t matter.  You can’t change the past,” he reminded her in a flat voice.  “The wrong person died and a blood debt was owed,” Seunghyun explained regretfully.  “But neither could I accept your death as punishment for something I should never have let you take on.”

                “It would have been better if you had let me accept my death,” Bom cried bitterly, her fingers gripping tightly to the fabric of her pants where her hands trembled.

                “No!” he denied immediately, grabbing her wrists in lieu of holding her hands.  “Did you not hear me the first time?” he asked with a pained voice.  “I loved you then as I still love you now.  Why do you think I asked for an alternate punishment for us?” he whispered tightly.

                Bom picked her head up to blindly search his face as she felt him very close to her.  “You took my sight.  You took my child.  You abandoned me!” she hissed in righteous anger.  “And you dare to say to say you love me?!”

                “Our child.”  His correction cut through her anger like a sword and Bom whimpered when her false strength fled quickly.  It was easier to pretend he hadn’t cared for her at all.  That way, she could continue to hate him, but it was a lie she could no longer uphold when faced with his words directly in front of him.  Tears fell quickly then as words failed her entirely and Seunghyun reached up to clasp her face in both his hands so his thumbs could wipe at the falling droplets on her skin.  “And yes.  I do love you.  But how could I face you when it was my hands that did this to you?” he asked her honestly, the raw pain bare for her to see, even without her sight.

                “I needed you!” she sobbed as she raised her hands to cover the backs of his.  The same hands that had nearly beat her unto death in a mandated battle from which they could both emerge alive, but… she had been broken in more ways than one.

                “And I’m sorry,” he whispered wiping at the continuing tears again, his own voice shaky and wracked with guilt.

                “Do you know what it’s like waking up to total darkness when all you feel is pain?” she choked as her fingers tightened over his hands.  “To learn that it’s probably permanent.  And then they tell you that you were with child.”  As the words continued to spill from her lips, they became harder to continue.  “I called for you, but you didn’t come.  I needed you!  And you weren’t there,” she cried, the last few words becoming difficult to understand.

                “I’m here now,” he murmured, leaning close to press his forehead to hers as his warm breath brushed against her flushed skin.

                She wanted that to mean something.  She really did, but after holding onto her anger for so long… it was hard.  Harshly, she pushed herself back, shoving against his chest to give them space between them.  “Is that supposed to make everything better after twelve years?” she demanded tightly, wiping at her face with both hands, sniffing against the onset of more.

                He took a shaky deep breath and collected himself for a moment before he tried to give her a decent answer.  “You were the one that kept running, Bom.  From me.  And yourself,” he pushed so that she flinched.

                “I was trying to atone,” she whispered flatly, still swollen with emotion, but the words felt hollow and weak even as she voiced them.

                “By never coming home?” he asked simply.  “By never acknowledging the price you knew your family would pay for your mistake?”  She threaded her fingers in her hair at the words and futilely tried to block the sound out by covering her ears.  “By never trying to set things right with Chaerin?  If you honestly believe that, then you are more blind than the loss of your sight has made you.”

                “You can’t change the past,” she echoed his words quietly, her voice devoid of feeling.  She knew he was right, but that didn’t mean she was ready to admit it.

                “No.  But you can learn to live with it,” Seunghyun whispered instead.  “What do you think I’ve been doing all this time?” he asked her earnestly.

                “Hunting me,” Bom murmured without hesitation.  It was the one constant she’d been aware of since she left home.  There was always someone on her trail, even before she had learned enough to properly defend herself in her new, blind state.

                “Watching you,” he corrected immediately.  “Waiting for you to come back on your own.  You can’t keep doing this, Bom.”

                “What?” she asked with a bitter laugh.  “Helping others?  Pretending it does any good at all?  Wishing for the impossible?” she croaked as her arm drifted to rest across her abdomen.

                “How are you ever going to forgive yourself if you can’t face the past?” he asked quietly.

                “I can’t!” Bom snapped at him, running her fingers through her hair in distress to rest her palms against her bare neck.  She had spent so much time hating him… using the lie to hide the open wound that still gaped in her heart.  She couldn’t bring Chaerin back but no amount of running and perpetually telling herself that she helped others in her friend’s memory could make it true.  Guilt.  It was what gave her lie substance and allowed her to clothe her good deeds in a pretty costume of righteousness that quickly fell apart at the seams.  Her face fell and she blinked at the floor.  “And now my brother’s child must pay the price of my dishonor.”

                “What?” Seunghyun asked in a breathless whisper.

                Bom’s fingers tightened against the back of her neck, her nails digging into the skin, and she muttered, “It would have been better for everyone if you had just let me die.”  So much pain and death for such a stupid mistake of her own making.

                “Minji’s with child?” Seunghyun asked when she failed to clarify his first question.

                “Ne,” Bom murmured tonelessly.  “She didn’t even know when you sent her to me.”  She felt so worthless.  After everything, it really did mean nothing in the end.  Most of her family was dead.  Her forsaken, younger brother hated her.  And she had been so very wrong about everything she was angry about…  In the span of a morning, Bom had officially lost everything.  “Are you going to kill it too?” she asked cruelly, her tone still devoid of emotion.

                “Of course not,” he practically growled, standing up to loom over her.

                She tilted her head up to follow the sound of his voice.  “My brother is forsaken because of me.  Any child he has is no better.”

                Seunghyun reached down to grab Bom’s arms and yank her to her feet, holding her in front of him.  “Don’t say that,” he urged plaintively, leaning close.  “I am glad he failed, Bom.  For it means he’s still alive today.  And still moving forward despite it all,” he promised her, cupping her face in both hands again.

                Bom raised her hands to rest against his waist gently, feeling the smooth fabric under her fingertips and the tie of his sword belt under her palms.  “He hates me, you know,” she reminded him, tilting her face up to mirror his, done with fighting the emotions she had fought to bury so that she couldn’t acknowledge them.

                “He hates the memory of you,” Seunghyun whispered quietly, his breath teasing her lips and chin as he lingered close.  “He doesn’t know you anymore.”

                “Maybe it’s better if he never does,” she murmured in response, swallowing thickly as her hands shifted against the belt until the side of her right hand bumped against his sheathed katana.  The past could not be undone and the future appeared more bleak than ever with all her lies laid bare and her protective shrouds torn to shreds.

                “You just got home, Bom.  You’re going to have to give him and yourself time, love,” he whispered, pressing his lips against her forehead tenderly, his hands infinitely gentle as he cradled her face.

                “Seunghyun,” Bom whispered, blinking as she waited for him to pull back.

                “Ne?” he prompted tentatively, though she could feel his eyes upon her.

                “I still love you too,” she admitted with the barest hint of sound as more tears spilled from her aching eyes before she gripped his katana and yanked.

                The blade came free with a soft whispering sound as she turned away from him to point the tip of the weapon at her belly before she stabbed herself while Seunghyun roared in denial behind her.  “No!”  Pain blossomed in her abdomen though the weapon stopped with both of Seunghyun’s hands wrapped around the blade and his chest flush to her back.

                Bom sobbed at the hurt and the fact that she had been mostly thwarted.  Weakly, she tried to draw the blade further in but felt resistance when his hands held firm.  “Just let me die,” she cried brokenly as her voice trembled.

                “No!” Seunghyun denied firmly, his voice angry and afraid in her ear.  With a growl, he yanked the blade free and wrenched it out of her grasp so he could throw it to the side with a loud clanking sound.  “No,” he stated again as he placed his hand over the wound and held her close with his other arm while they sank to the floor together, trembling at what she had almost done.  “I refuse to let you die, Bom,” he reminded her fiercely.

                “Why not?” she whimpered in a shaky, desperate voice as her hands clung to his arms.

                “Because if I can learn to live after what I’ve done.  So can you,” he promised her determinedly, conviction writ in his voice.  “Because I still love you now as I loved you then.”

                Unable to accept the price of her life but barred from dying, Bom broke at last.  Sobbing in earnest, she turned her head into his chest and closed her eyes, wishing for death instead.  The only answer she got was Seunghyun calling for help as he held her close and refused to let her go again.