Jung Soojung                l            Kim Jongin

Kim Jongin is a puzzle that can never be solved. Each time one thinks that they are getting a step closer to cracking the mystery, another layer is unveiled, and another, and another and another. It never ends really, just like the Russian dolls. Jongin is good at games.

-//-

She absentmindedly traces the top of her coffee mug, staring out into the street as people rush by busy with their own little bubble to care about anything else happening around them. How often do they actually press the pause button to realise this crazy running wheel they are caught up in? The young ones want popularity in school, often she sees a queen bee in the group surrounded by her faithful followers. Do they really like her, or do they hang out for the sake of her popularity rubbing off on them? Business people with their black briefcases rushing from a meeting in point A to point B, big strides they take. The poor on the streets begging stand still of course, their movements put to a stop. What could they do with their lives other than to cross their fingers and hope for the best.

She takes a sip of her coffee, black and thick was always the way to go.

The mug is half empty (or half full, doesn't matter). Sometimes, she thinks that it would do the world a whole lot of good if everyone could take time out to look at the people around them, the hustle and bustle of activities and perhaps they could avoid some silly decisions, not that she was wise enough to judge. 

The outliers always stand out from the crowd, which is why when her eyes flick over she finds a particular young man, no older than her tapping his foot on the pavement. Curious. The people she always observed were either on the go or stopping altogether, never a mix of both. He was definitely still a student but too young to be burning down cigarettes at the rate he was going. She frowns in distaste.

One thing she hated the most was cigarettes since they did nothing for your body, then again the same could be said for caffeine. But caffeine gives you energy she argues, those two are simply not the same. Something about him just made her tick, was it the cloud of cancer causing substances around him? He was nothing but a mere stranger. Her gaze was clearly too much for the next thing she knew the guy with the torn jeans and white shirt had made his way towards her.

"Watcha looking at? Haven't seen a handsome guy before?" Oh so now she has gotten it figured out, he was a cocky bastard. 

"Merely staring at the scenery around me that's all, you just happen to be the only flaw though, that I must add."  she gestures towards the flowers in full bloom around her, stating her point. 

"Well next time just tell me if you want a picture of me, you know I'll never deny a fan." And said cocky bastard takes off with a wink, lighting another disgusting cancer stick. Soojung concludes that she has had enough for the day since he had ruined a perfectly nice summer day with his cloud of gloom. Thank God I won't ever see him again, she shudders at the thought of her having o face him ever again, just the idea alone back her feel like puking the contents of her stomach out. 

The coffee cup is left half full.

-//-

Apparently fate had other grand cruel plans for her. The next time she crosses path with that vile creature was exactly two weeks later in the art course she was taking in university. Backtracking out of the class as fast as she could, sadly not fast enough for he had yelled after her. " Oi coffee girl, do you still want my autograph?" Loud enough for the entire class to stare at her with the same are you seriously so desperate manner. If they were in an alternate universe where magic existed she would have hexed him with a spell that kept his smart mouth permanently shut. For now, she had to content with smiling her most winning smile and gently dragging him out of the class door. 

"What do you want?" She is this close to exploding on him, the only thing keeping her from doing that is the constant reminder that walls do have ears and it would serve no good for her reputation if she were to shout at him.

"Say you were attracted to me at that shop and we'll let bygones be bygones how's that?" Oh how she wishes the ground would just him in and eradicate the world of his presence. "No." Soojung :1 , Cocky Bastard :0

"Then I'll just have to convince everyone that you in fact fancy me and have been chasing me for the past 2 years. And I, being the gorgeous dude I am rejected your advances leading to our current state. How's that pretty girl?"

"What do you want from me?" Soojung takes it all back, people watching is a bad habit, no one should evr do that.

"Hmm... since you hate me so much, fine go out on a date with me how's that?"  "No. Dont' try."

"Aww then I guess we shall go with Plan A then." He looks almost regretful with the way he was puting his lips. She does not buy that trick but seeing as how he probably would go with the horrid Plan A, going on a "date" with him sounds like a better choice. 

"Fine." 

"Ok we start today after lessons." Soojung: 1 , Cocky Bastard: 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

-//-

She learns that cocky bastard goes by the lovely name of Kim Jongin. Goodness knows why such an was gifted with such a beautiful name, some people simply do not do their names justice. Bracing herself for a horrible night ahead, she follows after Jongin. 

Turns out that he was not as bad as expected apart from the fact that he was perpetually surrounded by a suffocating mist. The only time she asked him why he smoked, he had questioned why she drank coffee instead and she leaves it as that. Some things were better left unsaid.

-//-

Many dates later, Soojung would look back at how that gaze she had sent his way led to this and thank her lucky stars that people watching actually pays off because she discovered him. Jongin loves Michael Jackson, dancing, painting and Malboros. And maybe Soojung as well (at least she hopes so).

The first time Soojung had allowed herself to light the stick and breathe in the horrendous smell she had choked and coughed so much that when Jongin found out what she was doing he had thrown a fit and refused to talk to her. You are damaging your body Soojung, how stupid can you get? he had shouted. But you drink coffee and you hate it too was her feeble defense statement. And they left it as that. 

-//-

Jongin hated coffee for the fact that it kept him awake unnecessarily, awake to face the world and all its problems. Soojung hated cigarettes because they claimed her father's life 4 years back. 

Two lost souls trying to understand each other through vices, embracing the smoke and caffeine because it was a step closer to understanding the other (or so they thought, at least Soojung did). But she figures that if this was what made Jongin happy, she should be happy as well because when you are in love with another, you should love all aspects of that person no? Often she would see Jongin space out in the middle of conversations, he pretended that he was listening she knew that but the look in his eyes gave away how his mind was perhaps miles away from their current location, too preoccupied to care about her chatter. 

So she locks herself up and lights the stick that she has grown so accustomed to with her mug of coffee, telling herself that it's ok Jongin still loves you and don't you understand him better than you did yesterday since he smokes like a chimney and so do I which makes us a pair. Even though how bad thing were, there was Jongin in the midst of it all. 

The coffee is left three quarters filled, the cigarette pack lies empty on the ground.

-//-

It starts off simple enough, he claims that he is busy, it's your coffee doing it's magic darling and she accepts it, why would Jongin have to lie to her? Soon they haven't spoken for two days, three days, one week.... Her classmates say that they saw him kissing another girl in the park last week, apparently she was pretty as well. She dismisses it as nonsense, Jongin loves her, right? As much as he kept things away from her he was still Jongin, her Jongin. 

She sends him messages every night without fail , sometimes he replies sometimes he doesn't.

Finally the replies just stopped altogether.

She thought they had a common understanding. Perhaps he felt they were getting too close for comfort. 

-//-

Somewhere down the line people started whispering about her, the girl with the stray hair and eyebags that comes with coffee in her hand every morning. She used to bring two cups now, it is just one left. She no longer drinks the coffee, just smokes the cigarettes. She lives on them now. They said that she was on drugs, heroine they claimed. Crazy girl pining after that smooth talker that left her for another, it's matter of time before the police drag her off to rehab, they said. 

Often she asks herself what Jongin would do in such a situation and the answer would always be to smoke a cigarette, which she does. The smoke eating away her lungs, her health, every bit of what is left of her. In some ways losing herself is the best decision she has ever made. ne step closer to Jongin and maybe he will realise she was the one for him, the one that bothered understanding what lay behind the seemingly carefree mask he put on. The reason why he hates coffees and loves smoking. 

-//-

She is spiralling out of control, the cigarette intake increases with each passing day that Jongin left her. She tries to eat, tries really hard but no food would make it to her stomach. She retches it out before there is a chance. It was like a battle to see whether her body won or the food won the race.

Her body won the game. 

In her occasional moments of clarity, her head cleared of the fog clouding her eyes and her mind Soojung recalls how once upon a time there was a girl and a  boy. The girl loved the boy very much, too much. There is nothing else she can do to pull herself out of this spiral, only to be willingly into this endless maze. She gives in.

-//-

They said once you started on the Kim Jongin game, there was no escape.

The coffee cup falls to the ground, creating a mesmerising pattern of milky brown.

a/n I am so sorry for being a horrible author and not updating for as far as I can remember, I'm a bit rusty so this story may not flow hai. I promise updates will come soon ^^