"He's waiting..."

A part of me knew what was really happening, who's waiting for me inside. I knew it was someone whom I desperately wanted to see. The person Paeha knew that can save us, but I refused to believe it, unless I see his face, unless I hear his deep soothing voice. I barged inside one of the soldiers' quarters and when I was inside, I saw a man wrapped in bandages and ragged clothes, clearly that man was still in pain but he still knelt before me. The longing to see this comrade was too painful that tears suddenly fell from my eyes as I slowly approached him.

"Mama.." he struggled to say that word, "Your servant has come.."

I still couldn't talk and just continued walking, but as we got nearer to each other he looked up to me as if saying It's really me. I'm here.

I had no control over my body as I involuntarily bended my knees and joined him on the floor. Sabumnim was about to protest but still I hugged him, overwhelmed with happiness to see him alive, and safe. He's safe. Him being alive gave me hope, that we, like Sabumnim, can still survive this attack.

"Hwanghu mama..." 

"Sabumnim.." I sobbed, "You promised... but they said... and I believed them."

"I know Hwanghu mama, I almost broke my promise, but I tried not to, I wanted to live.. for you.. and the crown prince.. for you."

Thank you for being alive. Thank you.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The physicians were still tending on his wounds, some were too deep, even they wondered how he survived all this. All wounds, deep or not, heal in time  he said to me once. I cannot stop feeling thanking for he is still with us.

Eunuch Bang told me that Sabumnim went to rest at the Goryeo Village and waited there when he found out that Eunuch Bang and Moosong were also staying there as they were patrolling Daidu. When they returned, they saw the ill Prime Minister and immediately went here for help. He was the only living person who survived the battle with the rebels.

Is it really possible for me to be reunited with him, when I already accepted the fact that Ayu and my other Goryeo confidantes are the only ones left to protect this land? I went inside his quarters and found him lying, but awake. He's recuperating well.

"Hwanghu mama..."

He tried to get up but I protested. "Sabumnim, please stay still."

He continued to get up despite my protest so I ended up assisting him.

"I want to tell you something, about how and why I still survived." His fiery eyes locked upon mine, like he's been wanting to have this conversation with me. "I thought I was really going to die when I received these blows here," he pointed near his heart and his left shoulder, "And while I was waiting for death to come..."

He paused, closed his eyes, and opened them again, "I thought about my promise to you... And willed myself to live, just to fulfill that promise, and I wondered why.. Why do I badly wanted to fulfill that promise."

Where is this going? What does he mean?  I nodded for him to go on talking.

"But then I knew deep inside me why," he's still panting, "It's to see you Hwanghu mama, again. I dreamt about our last conversation every night, our past accomplishments along with the Emperor. When I saw you being crowned as this nation's empress.. I felt uneasy. Don't get me wrong, I've always known that you and the Emperor would be together, but I never realized that I already fell for you all those times."

"Sabumnim—" I don't know how to react on his words.

"Hwanghu mama, I'm not telling you to decide on something nor to change the situation now. I know you're still in love with the Emperor, more than the dethroned Wang Yu, you staying with him after all these times proved it. I did not live to try to change that." He gave me a slight smile. "I lived on to serve and protect you and Prince Ayu, because I love you, that alone is enough for me to go on living. So please Hwanghu mama, don't give just yet. We'll see the outcome of this war together."

Sabumnim's words to me were shocking, but I knew he was right. I do love Tahwan, then and now. What Sabumnim told me did not change a thing at all. Though I did realize he was someone special to me when I thought he was gone too, but now that he has returned to me and told me all he felt, I don't know what to do.

One thing's for sure, he has a place in my heart.

~끝

dramagirl's Note:

I TOTALLY FORGOT TO FINISH THE REMAINING CHAPTER FOR THIS ONE BEFORE I WENT AWOL, MIANHAE CHINGUS 🙏

I was on hiatus mainly because of my school duties and I had to have a reflecting season because I failed my subjects, postponing my freedom from college life. So I FXXKED UP BIG TIME. Now that I'm back on my feet, and now retaking my failed subjects this sem, I shall continue with my talent as an amateur writer for imaginations-that-have-not-happened and stories for my OTPs. 💋