Minyu had been there a week, sharing a room with her filthy brother. Things were ... not exactly like everyone wanted them to be. Jeremy and Shinwoo were like strangers. They didn't talk, the least they would do was bow their heads to greet each other or apologize whenever they crossed paths in the house. Although Jeremy had been the one to get dumped, Shinwoo was the one who spent everyday in his room. He would come out for food and to go to the bathroom and of course whenever they had to go to appointments as A.N.Jell. That was it. Taekyung had yelled at him for being pathetic, but it hadn't helped. The only person he really spoke to occasionally was Minyu. But she was too afraid of talking to him, so they never really knew what was going on with the guitarist. 

"I hate it."

"You've said it before."

"I know, but I hate it."

"Stop repeating yourself, Jeremy."

"But I absolutely HATE it."

"We know."

"You don't get it."

Without being noticed, Shinwoo stood hidden behind a wall near the kitchen where everyone apart from himself were gathered. They were all calming Jeremy down. He couldn't really believe what he was hearing, but he had to, he had to feel the guilt of what he had done to the one person he overlooked. 

"He isn't taking are of himself, I've watched how skinny he's become. I care about him, it's something I promised to always do. I promised." He remembered, when they had promised to love each other and to always be there for one another. It pained him how stupid he had been, how he had hurt Jeremy. Letting a breath go caught Taekyung's attention. The leader rushed over to where the noise had come from and when he stood infront of Shinwoo he stared with wide eyes.

"What do you want? Aren't you causing trouble enough?"

"Sorry, I came to feed myself but you put me off, I'll leave now ..." 

The three others sat around the dinning table had turned their eyes as soon as Taekyung spoke. Jeremy had looked down at his hands by the sound of the guitarist's voice. Had he heard anything he had said? How stupid. Why did he never think before letting out his words? He hit his head with a light fist. Everyone went silent and with a typical sigh from the guitarist, he left. 

He hesitated and debated inside his head whether this was wise or not. It obviously wasn't, they hated each other, or at least Shinwoo hated him. He paced up and down the hallway infront of the bedroom door. Biting his lower lip wasn't going to solve anything but it did make some of the stress leave his body and instead was focused on the pressure he was using in his teeth. Which, wasn't entirely a good thing either since he was going to end up with slaughtered lips. 

Aish, make up your mind. 

But in the end he didn't have to, the door opened without him even knocking on it at all. He froze on the spot, right infront of the now opened doorway. His eyes wide in a second and he stood speechless. No words would leave his mouth. 

"Wae?" Shinwoo looked mildy surprised. His careless and emotionless face really didn't show any feelings at all anymore, not that Jeremy had the chance to notice much since they rarely saw each other. 

"N-nothing ..." He began as he didn't know what else to say. Though really, he had planned out everything that he was going to do and say, but now he just couldn't get it out.

Shinwoo blinked, snorted and stepped out of the doorway. He was stopped, however, by Jeremy's grip on his arm. It felt good in a stupid way, stupid because he had no reasons to feel like Jeremy's grip on him felt good. Looking up at the blonde, he was surprised to see the eyes of the other staring back at him. "Wae?" He repeated, using an annoyed tone in his plain voice.

"We never talk, we're band mates ..."

"So? We don't have to talk, we just have to make music."

Ignoring Shinwoo's comeback, he continued talking. "You're not taking care of yourself, you're as skinny as a stick and you won't talk to even Minyu." He hated mentioning her, but he had once had feelings for her too and it wasn't like she purposely had Shinwoo break his boyfriend's heart. Jeremy stood, and analysed the thoughts in his head. It hurt to think of it, but he'd gotten used to hiding his feelings from everyone and putting on a cheerful mask that he tried to ignore the pain like he did so many times.

"I eat when I'm hungry, my manager told me to be careful with gaining weight anyway..."

Tired of hearing the excuses that covered what was really going on, Jeremy who still had a grip on Shinwoo, pulled him to the side and pinned him against the wall. He stared into the guitarist's eyes lovingly, the way he had done since that day. "You used me Shinwoo. The least you could do is listen to me."

It felt like a big rock had been thrown at his stomach, or like someone was punching at him as if he was a punching bag. He felt guilty all of a sudden, but yet he remained looking careless of what Jeremy was saying.

"Why should I?"

In frustration Jeremy punched the wall beside Shinwoo's head, hurting his knuckles but biting his lip to take in the pain. "Babo." It made Shinwoo's eyes widen slightly, his expression daring to show a tiny emotion. Had he really hurt Jeremy so much? He felt sick, wanted to vomit but Jeremy was in the way. "BABO!" Shinwoo flinched at the yell, turning his head to the side, cheek facing Jeremy, as if the sound would go away just like that. "You're turning your ear towards me, do you really want to hear me scold you like this? You really are cruel. How could I scold someone I love so much, like this? Why are you forcing me to feel bad for you when you were the one to hurt me!" Tears rushed down Jeremy's cheeks already. Shinwoo felt a bullet go through his chest. This was the first time he really acknowledged Jeremy's feelings and it pained him.

"Sorry." That was the only thing that came to his mind, although he meant to say so much more and apologize with greater empathy than just 'sorry'. He turned to face Jeremy again, staring back at the tearfilled eyes. 

"Sorry? SORRY? At least tell me that everything was a lie so that I don't go hoping that you feel the same deep down." The tears kept coming, every now and then Jeremy would let out sulking noises against his own will but the emotions were probably too much to hold back.

"Everything was ..." He couldn't say it. Although it was true, he couldn't say it for now that he really saw Jeremy for the first time like this, he wished that they really had been something true. 

It didn't have to be said though, for they both knew that everything was ...

a lie.

He hated yelling at Shinwoo, he hated being mean and he hated hating someone. So he stopped. He backed away from the guitarist, avoiding eye contact. The tears still created streams from his eyes and down his face. He turned his back to Shinwoo and walked off. It was too much, he couldn't take it anymore. 

Watching Jeremy walk off was almost more painful than the words they had exchanged. He collapsed on the floor, back leaning against the wall and legs spread out on the flat surface he was sat on. Why had he never paid attention before now? Only now did he realize how much the drummer meant to him, but it was too late.

               He wiped his face with his sleeve and walked through the house until he was outside. It was cold, mainly because he had left without wearing a jacket, but also just because it was winter time. The sky was clear blue, the stars small visible white dots in the atmosphere above him. There was a cool breeze which made the weather colder than it already was. And when he breathed, it created a puf of smoke-like frost floating in the air. He placed his helmet on his head and sat on his motobike. Turning the egine on disturbed the silence but Jeremy was too upset to care. He turned on the egnition and rode of, leaving the person who he loved and hated the most all at once.

It didn't take him long to get to the company building. He parked his bike outside, and sneaked in without any fans (the ones that were still there being asleep) seeing him. 

He stormed through the doors and up the stairs, ignoring the very little amount of people who were still working there. The president not being one of them, for he had a few days of with his family. Something that usually never happened since the President loved his work. He walked to their practice room and sat down on his stool by the drums. As he picked up his drumsticks, the tears fell again. One after the other, with no pauses, they just rushed out of his eyes. "AAAAAARGH!" He exclaimed all his frustration through a loud yell, while he began hammering on the drums like some mad man. 

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Sorry if the chapter doesn't make that much sense towards the end it's because I rushed it a little. I wanted to finish it for you guuuuuuys. :3