This is longer than I intended so... yeah

also warning for some swearing (I cursed a lot little)

Namjoon groaned when his annoying alarm woke him up from his very-much-needed sleep.

5:30 AM

‘Why the did I set it so early?!’ he was about to set the alarm off when he suddenly remembered they got a music video recording to make. He muttered a curse under his breath and sat up; sighing as he got up to wake the others. ‘Leader’s responsibility’. Namjoon snorted at his own thought.

To his dismay they were 30 minutes late when they reached the saloon to get their make-up done which earned Namjoon a good 20 minutes of scolding from the manager. “You’re the leader, aren’t you supposed to lead the rest?! I expected better from you.” Namjoon wanted to argue because it wasn’t his fault that Yoongi just wasn’t a morning person, it wasn’t his fault that Jungkook took too long to get dressed, it wasn’t his fault that Taehyung wanted to have waffles for breakfast and it definitely wasn’t his fault that Seokjin took nearly 40 minutes to serve those waffles.

But then again, he’s the leader. It was completely comprehensible that people blamed it all at him. So, being the good leader he was, he took all the blame. “I’m sorry. I won’t let it happen again. I’ll do better”

“I heard you said that before and here you are, again, repeating the same thing” and with that the manager walked away. Namjoon pretended that the stung he felt across his chest wasn’t because of what he just heard. He kept denying it on his head. No, it wasn’t. No, it wasn’t. No, it wasn’t.

Yes, it was.

***

They were 2 hours late when they finally made it to the location. The traffic was damn horrible since it was at its peak time. He could still remembered the stern ‘if only you guys were on time’ from their manager. Namjoon remained quiet throughout the ride.

They bowed and apologised to all the crew members; especially the director. The director just sighed and shooed them off to get ready quickly so they could end this sooner.

Thankfully, the shooting went smoothly. The director seemed very pleased with Yoongi’s and Jungkook’s shots. The staffs and crews also became friendlier than when they first arrived. It went smooth until during lunch break; Jimin and Jungkook got into a tiny argue.

“What’s going on?” Namjoon's question was directed at Jimin but he looked at Seokjin who seemed to have a little private conversation with Jimin. Seokjin looked at Namjoon before he turned his attention back to Jimin.

“Jungkook was rude to me” Jimin said and pouted slightly. Both Namjoon and Seokjin gave a questioning look at Jimin. He sighed before continuing “He was avoiding me so I sort of got even more closer to him but then at some point he shoved me off and yelled at me to stop it and leave him alone”

“More closer to him? Jimin, you’re basically clinging onto him. He looked like he would suffocate” Seokjin’s voice was serious. Jimin just stared at the ground before he looked up. “But does he really needs to yell at me?! Shove me off even?!” Jimin snapped and Seokjin glared at him.

“Alright, Jimin, you come with me” Namjoon said and then searched for Jungkook. 'Leader’s responsibility. Again.’ Namjoon thought.

Jungkook was sitting on a chair on the waiting room with his earphones on and nodding to the music with eyes closed; absolutely unaware of Namjoon’s and Jimin’s present.

“Jungkook” Namjoon started but got no respond. So he tapped the maknae’s shoulder. Jungkook snapped his eyes open and take off his earphones. The younger stood from his seat.

“Yes, hyung?”

“We need to talk”

“About wha-” Jungkook figured out his answer when he spotted Jimin. He rolled his eyes. None of them said anything and Namjoon sighed.

“You see, actually both of you did wrong,” Namjoon then turned to Jimin “You, Jimin, I understand it wasn’t your intention to annoy or violate Jungkook’s privacy but you should really consider getting all touchy and stuff a little less. Maybe Jungkook wasn’t comfortable when you do it all the time”

“Yeah, I wasn’t comfortable with it” Jungkook chipped in; glaring at Jimin.

“And you, young kid,” Namjoon pointed at Jungkook. “You shouldn’t just shove and yell at Jimin. He’s your hyung. Do respect him. Couldn’t you just talk to him nicely? I don’t see why you needed to be so aggressive.”

Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest; sighing. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled but his eyes still glued to the floor. Then, he looked up to Jimin. “I’m sorry that I shoved and yelled at you. I overreacted. I didn’t really mind all your affectionate gestures but it sorta gets too much lately”

Namjoon swore he saw Jimin pouted slightly but decided to let it slide.

“I’m sorry, too. You were avoiding these few past days and I was just…” Jimin tilted his head away; avoiding Jungkook eyes. “I was just trying to get your attention” he whispered but loud enough for Jungkook and Namjoon to hear it.

“See. This wouldn’t be a problem if you guys just talk nicely to each other” Namjoon stated.

***

When they reached their dorm, Namjoon got himself a nice hot shower, a decent dinner meal and was about to get his very-much-desperately-needed sleep when he received a text from Donghyuk asking him to come to the recording to studio to finish the song they’re working on along with Yoongi and Hoseok. Namjoon groaned into his pillow and punched the pillow.

So here he was, in the studio with Donghyuk, Yoongi and Hoseok. As soon as they arrived to the studio, Donghyuk excused himself to buy some snacks for them. They gave a few touches to the track and Yoongi entered the recording room. He then started rapping.

“Namjoon-ah, what’s wrong?” Hoseok said as he tapped Namjoon’s shoulder lightly.

“Huh?”

“You look so tense”

“Aish, don’t worry, hyung. It’s nothing. I’m just tired. That’s all” he faked Hoseok a smile. There was a silence between them and they both knew Hoseok wasn’t buying it.

“Namjoon-ah” Hoseok said softly. His voice almost sounded like a plea. Namjoon hated it. He hated it because he knew he couldn’t lie to Hoseok when Hoseok used that tone.

“Yah, I’m sorry for interrupting your heart to heart session but I yelled three times already! Did you record my verse or not?!” Yoongi snapped; apparently a little annoyed.

“Oh , hyung! Sorry! I forgot to hit the button.” Namjoon felt guilty and got even depressed. Yoongi sighed and sat on the couch behind Namjoon and Hoseok.

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been a bit off today” Yoongi stated. ‘Oh great, now even the hyung are upset with me’. Namjoon remain silent.

“Namjoon-ah” it was Hoseok again. Damn, with that pleading tone again. Namjoon bit his lips to prevent the tears threatening to fall. He sighed and turned his chair to face Yoongi. Hoseok did the same.

“It’s… I’m just… I wasn’t” Namjoon failed to come with anything coherent. He hated himself for being this broken. He could rap so well and came out with great lyrics but at this time he couldn’t even form a single sentence. How pathetic.

“It’s hard,” Namjoon blurted out. When he didn’t get any respond, he continued. “being the leader. It’s hard.” He continued staring the floor. There was a long silent before Yoongi finally broke it

“Yah, are we giving you a hard time?” Yoongi asked. “Ah no! It’s not you, hyung. It’s not any of you guys. It’s more to me. I should’ve done better. I could’ve done better” Namjoon’s voice became even slower.

“Namjoon-ah,” this time Hoseok didn’t use that pleading tone. It was sterner. “why are you saying this? Man, you’re the best leader we could ever wish for! If it weren’t because of your leadership, we wouldn’t be here. You bring us all together, man. You-you’re like a bridge that links us all together.” Hoseok said and patted Namjoon’s shoulder.

Namjoon could only blink at Hoseok. “Yah, you don’t believe me?” Hoseok slapped Namjoon’s cheek playfully.

“Namjoon-ah, I know the responsibility as a leader is huge and everyone’s expectation on you is extremely high,” Hoseok rested his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder before continuing “but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer alone. We are one team, dude. Just as much as you’ve been there for us, we’re here for you too”

Namjoon broke into a smile. How foolish of him thinking he was all alone in this.

“Yeah, you know I’m not as cheesy as Hoseok but he was right. We are here for you, Namjoon.” Yoongi said. Namjoon was overwhelmed with relief, with happiness and so much more.

“Thank you, hyung. Really, thank you” Namjoon said. He wanted to say more but words had failed him. But he guessed it was enough.

“Now let’s get back to work or else Donghyuk hyung might slay us because apparently we haven’t recorded a single word” Yoongi said.