It's not easy being a writer.

Baekhyun has always known that writing is what he wants to do with his life. He had been an eager child, taken by the way words could be rearranged into a form of beauty, into an art.

But life is hard, and now, a month after his parents have stopped sending him money, saying, “It's time

you started taking care of yourself,” he's realizing that writing isn't the easiest way to get by.

He still loves writing, of course. There's nothing that exhilarates him more than creating his own universe in his head and capturing it on paper exactly as he'd imagined. Even just playing with words, writing simple descriptions hoping to convey the essence of what he'd intended is enough to send

shivers down his spine.

But life is hard. It's hard, and sometimes doing what you love isn't enough.

- - - - -

It's 4am when this realization first takes place. The night sky is beginning to lighten, stars fading, and Baekhyun is sitting on the balcony of the apartment he will no longer be able to afford living in after

next month's payment.

In the three months that he's lived here, it's become a routine to bring his laptop out on the balcony at night. His ideas seem to flow a little better here; the chilly night air keeps him awake and being surrounded in darkness seems to clear his mind.

Tonight, though, nothing feels right.

He spends all of his time nowadays shut away, typing word after word, page after page, in hopes of striking genius. In hopes of creating something worthy of sending to a publisher, or a newspaper, or

anything that could earn him a foot into the industry.

He's written two novels so far, both the result of sleepless nights spent clutching a thesaurus, desperately searching for the perfect word, and racking his exhausted bran for believable dialogue and interesting plot twists.

Both novels have been rejected by every publisher he's sent them to, and now sit in a pile of shame on his coffee table.

The laptop in Baekhyun's laptop is violently whirring, despite the blank word document in front of him. He closes it with a sigh and walks back into his room, something he's done a thousand times before.

But this time carries a tone of finality, the click of the door sealing his fate.

- - - - -

Baekhyun hasn't seen any of his friends from high school since graduation day. He had moved into his apartment soon after, and every day since then has been spent encased in this bubble of words, only taking breaks to go the grocery store for a fresh food and supplies.

It's nice to see familiar faces again, he thinks, as he gazes around the table in the cafe he sits at, wedged between his closest friend and the wall.

He almost wants to cry of happiness; even just listening to the chatter around him is enough to lift his spirits higher than they've been for a long while.

A nudge to his side startles him out of his thoughts.

“Hey,” Jongdae is looking at him, a happy albeit concerned grin slapped onto his face. “You okay? You've hardly said a word since we've gotten here,”

Baekhyun realizes with a start that it's true; he'd greeted Jongdae and Kyungsoo when he'd arrived, and then Yixing and Sehun when they had arrived. He'd laughed somewhat nervously when Jongdae had clapped him on the back, saying how nice it was to see him, and how's it been, your writing career must be really taking off.

“Yeah,” he says, twisting his face into a smile. “I'm just getting used to being around people again – I've been focusing on my job for so long and – well – it's really nice to see you all again,” he stumbles over his hurried explanation.

“Ah,” Jongdae's face relaxes as he nods in understandment. “How's your job been, by the way?”

He's got that expression on his face that Baekhyun hates, the teasing, expectant face, the “I-know-you’re-successful-and-I’m-giving-you-a-chance-to-boast” face.

Baekhyun weighs his options. He could lie, and appear to be successful and not worry his friends. Or he could actually tell his best friend the truth of the situation.

He sighs, looking down at his lap, down his intertwined fingers, his thumb the top of his forefinger.

“Things.. haven't been going so great,” he says hesitantly. “I've written things, yes, but no one will publish them, and I've got no source of income now, and I don't know how to find a job, and I just don't know what to do anymore.” his words trickle out slowly, then in a rush, gushing out of his mouth like a waterfall.

His shoulders relax, now that the weight burdening him had been lifted. He's still looking down at his hands, almost afraid to see the reactions of the rest of the table that had now fallen silent to listen to his venting.

And then there's a hand on his shoulder, and Jongdae meets his eyes with a sympathetic smile.

“Hey, man, I'm sorry,”

A quick glance around the table shows the others with similar expressions, and although Baekhyun hates being pitied, it's better than being laughed at like he had feared.

“You know, I could probably get you a job,” Jongdae is musing, and Baekhyun immediately snaps out of his thoughts and over to him.

“You know how my dad owns that line of pianos?” Baekhyun practically breaks his neck nodding. “He has this little store in the city that he's offered me a job at. I don't need the money, (it's just minimum wage), but I bet I could get you a job there.”

Baekhyun opens his mouth to thank him, but no words form. He is doused in a wave of warmth and relief, overcome with thankfulness that overpowers his ability to communicate.

Jongdae is looking at him strangely, and he finally gasps out, “Thank you,”

“Thank you so, so much, I really can't thank you enough, I don't know what I would do without you guys-” he's cut off by a tap on a shoulder from a bemused looking Jongdae.

“It's okay, seriously. I haven't even guaranteed you a job yet.”

Baekhyun just nods; he doesn't trust himself to not start tearing up. Jongdae just chuckles almost sadly, “Your situation must be worse than you've let on.”

Baekhyun nods again, but a smile is creeping onto his face. The fog that has surrounded him for the last couple months seems to be dissipating.

The rest of the night is spent in jokes, and Baekhyun is soon feeling like the cheerful, fun-loving person he had been in high school again.