A/n: Here is the full chapter, just completed (and not edited as always). This isn't super long, but I haven't written in a while so I'm still kind of getting back into it. Anyway, enjoy :) 5K words of Kaisoo~

Jongin never grew tired of dancing. He was pretty sure that he never would. Dancing had just become a part of who he was and even when the kids at the dance hall for being old, he never thought about stopping. It was only when he was really depressed that he couldn’t will himself to dance (and that didn’t happen very often, because he was blessed with a wonderful life).

His family supported him wholeheartedly in his life choices. They supported his relationship with Kyungsoo; they supported him becoming a dance teacher instead of doing something “professional”. But sometimes Jongin felt like he was letting down his parents, and he wasn’t really sure why. Whenever they all visited for holidays, it seemed Jongin got less time and attention from his mom and dad, despite the fact that he was sure he had always been their favourite growing up. Kyungsoo said they might just be making up for it to his sisters since he was most loved when they were young, but Jongin didn’t really think that was it.

Jongin and Kyungsoo got married early spring after their thirtieth birthdays and Jongin in all of the attention from absolutely everyone around them. He wouldn’t deny he got shy sometimes, but he loved affection – and presents. (He also loved teasing Kyungsoo that he needed to get married more often so he could get more stuff from everyone; in return, Kyungsoo enjoyed hitting him. Some things never changed.) However by the time Chuseok rolled around in the fall, Jongin got the same sense of… less. Less love, less allocated time, less relevance. His sisters and their families seemed to be the centre of his parents’ world – but hello, they had been married for years already!

When they went back home, Jongin felt as though something were missing in his life. The parent-child bond… Yeah, he was an adult now, but he was supposed to be their baby forever. (Technically, his little sister was the baby of the family but he was a baby too okay?) It bothered him for days and he tried to explain it to Kyungsoo but he just didn’t understand. Kyungsoo was an only child, plus he wasn’t all that close to his parents anyway, not the way Jongin was. Anyway, Jongin wasn’t good at explaining it. Probably because he didn’t really understand it either, he just knew it bothered him a lot.

A week later he was back at the studio, able to dance and enjoy himself (though not quite able to forget the feeling nagging at him. Actually, it seemed to get worse at the studio – was it because his parents really were disappointed in him and his failure to be truly successful in life?). He focused his energy on helping the kids, playing around with them and teaching them new dances. Jongin was great with the kids; they practically worshipped him (even if they did call him an old man). It was a daily struggle to separate them from him when their parents came around. Honestly, even if he did get too old for dancing (which he never would because he would be young forever), he still wanted to come here and work with them for the rest of his life.

Was that creepy? Jongin decided he wouldn’t share this thought with Kyungsoo. The guy already called him a ert enough as it was.

It was the end of October when Jongin had the greatest epiphany of his life. Well, one of them. Realizing his love for Do Kyungsoo might have been the best one. But this one was like a close second.

Everything seemed to be going normally; Jongin went to work expecting it to be just another day, but that never seemed to be the case for him. On this particular day, he was thinking about his family again, worrying about what aspect of his life it was that was making his parents love him less and not coming up with an answer as usual. Throughout his class he was able to put the worries aside, but all too soon the parents were arriving to get their beloved children. For once though, rather than dramatically clinging to Jongin and begging to stay, all of the kids swarmed around the entrance. Wondering if someone had brought candy (and definitely wanting to be a part of that) Jongin naturally headed over to join the commotion.

Unfortunately, there was no candy. However, one of the mothers had come in holding onto a newborn baby, no more than a few days old. Jongin knew her and her son very well, since they had been coming here for two years now, and he knew she was the same age as he was. He also had known she was pregnant. And now she had a baby, as these things went. But… A baby everyone was excited about.

So excited they would leave Jongin to get a peek at it.

Something about this situation threw Jongin’s entire life into perspective. Babies. His sisters had babies. Babies who weren’t really babies anymore but still. People loved kids. His parents loved kids, especially his sisters’ kids. And this woman his age who already had two of her own, while he had none. He spent so much time with kids – so much time that he loved – and he had never even thought about having one of his own.

That’s what his parents were disappointed about. That’s what he was missing. The parent-child bond he couldn’t feel wasn’t between him and his parents – it was between him and his own child.

Jongin was so struck by all of this realization he was surprised he didn’t come to flat on his back on the floor. Instead he found himself still exactly where he had been, staring at a precious little child with curious eyes and an innocent smile. Somehow he pulled himself away from the crowd and went to sit down, so overwhelmed by life that he wasn’t sure he would ever get up again.

I’m thirty years old. I am thirty years old. My life is almost half over, and what am I even doing?

He’d spent the past decade and a bit devoting his life to Kyungsoo so much that another life had never crossed his mind. And Kyungsoo was great – more than great – but… babies. Jongin never realized how much he wanted a little baby of his own. Maybe he never had wanted one until this very moment, but suddenly it felt like that was all that mattered. Why had he never thought about this before? Well, probably because no one had ever pressured him into having kids. No one expected it from him, since he and Kyungsoo sort of couldn’t have their own. And yeah, since they weren’t able to, Jongin had never had to worry about it…

Jongin had never really thought about how much a part the kids played in his love of work. It had been a natural transition to go from dancing in the hall to working there, but, well, if he hadn’t liked the kids and gotten along with them so well it wouldn’t have worked out, right? He was everyone’s favourite teacher (according to the students, not to him – but also to him) because he was so great with the kids. (Which Kyungsoo told him was only true because Jongin was himself a child. I’m a child at heart, he reassured himself.) And Jongin really liked the kids. They were way better than adults. Plus it was great to be able to guide them, to teach them his ways and be listened to when he told them what to do and stuff. He could just imagine having a little someone who would follow in his footsteps and want to be just like him and love him. He could tell them stories and Kyungsoo could teach them the important stuff, and Jongin would fight for them to stay up later when Kyungsoo was enforcing bedtime. And then they would all snuggle together at night and everything would be perfect.

Somehow Jongin made it home that night, and everything was completely normal. For some reason he was expecting baby things everywhere, a crib, toys, bottles, but the house was just as he’d left it. Kyungsoo was similarly his usual self, continuing his kid-free life without a thought. Did Kyungsoo want kids? Did Kyungsoo hate kids? Why have we never talked about this!

He could tell Kyungsoo noticed the difference in him, but Jongin had literally no idea how to bring this up. It was officially the most important thing in his life but – but what if Kyungsoo didn’t feel the same? And on top of that, how did they even go about it? He didn’t know a thing about parenting or babies or adoption or anything like that. Kyungsoo was the one who actually thought about things first, logically. Jongin just knew he wanted a child now.

“So…” Kyungsoo said as Jongin sat on the couch beside him after an awkwardly silent dinner. It was normal for Jongin to come home and talk about his day – and talk about anything in general – and ask Kyungsoo about work and whatnot, but Jongin hadn’t said a word tonight. Jongin couldn’t even find it in him to wonder what Kyungsoo was thinking about him (though, knowing Kyungsoo, he was most likely staying quiet so as not to disturb Jongin since he was clearly quite out of it). “How was work?”

Jongin pulled Kyungsoo closer to his side absently. “It was good,” he returned softly. “The kids were good…”

“The kids are always good,” Kyungsoo noted, glancing at him with a slight frown. Jongin nodded firmly.

“Yeah. You should come by sometime. Like tomorrow. Do you work tomorrow?”

“You know I work tomorrow,” Kyungsoo replied, frown deepening. “Are you alright?”

“Good. I’m good. You should come when you don’t work…”

“You’re weird Kim Jongin.” This was all Kyungsoo had to say before focusing his attention back to the news. Jongin nuzzled into him quietly, thoughts entirely consumed. Eventually he was leaning so much against Kyungsoo that the older ended up lying down so he could be comfortable, and Jongin just wrapped his arms tightly around him and held him close until he fell asleep.

“

When Jongin woke up in the morning he was still on the couch, and Kyungsoo wasn’t there. A very deeply rooted feeling of anxiety stirred at this; there was one thing Jongin could always count on and it was Kyungsoo being next to him in the morning. The rare times this did not happen (and it was very rare indeed) brought up bad, bad memories. Being alone; that was a bad thing. Jongin could not handle it.

“Hyung?” Jongin croaked out, voice sleepy but filled with concern.

Kyungsoo peeked out from the kitchen, frowning. “Yes Jongin?” Jongin rolled off the couch and slumbered over to the other, clinging and leaning against him possessively.

“Thought you left me…” he mumbled into Kyungsoo’s neck. To his credit, Kyungsoo took his hand and squeezed it softly.

“I didn’t leave you,” he promised. “Just came out to take care of your stomach.”

Jongin smiled and closed his eyes, ready to fall back asleep again now that he had safely located his love and confirmed he had not been abandoned. “You’re the best,” he murmured.

“I know I am. Now go get dressed, sleepy bear.”

It wasn’t very often that Jongin got nicknames from Kyungsoo, but Jongin always milked the times he did. This one was common – when Jongin just woke up or was very tired, Kyungsoo seemed fond enough of him to refer to him by the cute name. Otherwise, it was when Jongin got upset or worried about something (see: Kyungsoo) that Kyungsoo became sweeter towards him. Right now was a bit of both of these times, which was also likely why the older was putting up with his clinginess and Jongin calling him hyung (which “we’ve been over, and you need to stop calling me that”). Anyway, Jongin took the opportunity to hold on and nuzzle a moment longer before obeying his master (er, husband). A few moments later he was dressed and ready for breakfast, albeit still half asleep.

“So why were you being so weird last night?” Kyungsoo asked him the moment he sat down.

“Hm? I dunno,” Jongin answered sleepily, not really processing much yet. Kyungsoo shook his head.

“I’ll ask again in a few minutes.” Jongin nodded. He really loved how well Kyungsoo knew him. Wow Kyungsoo was great.

“I love you,” Jongin sighed contently, staring at the other while absently eating. He received an unimpressed look in return, but could tell Kyungsoo was withholding the slightest smile. Jongin knew Kyungsoo too, and he was very, very happy about this. “I’m so lucky…”

“You’re so lame,” Kyungsoo returned, rolling his eyes but still looking amused. “Seriously, you are the worst in the morning. I could grate you over an omelette.”

Jongin smiled widely, flicking a bite of his breakfast at the other playfully. “You’re my favourite person in the world and I love you and I will be as gross and cheesy about it as I want.”

“I’ve accepted that I married an adult-sized child,” Kyungsoo muttered, sipping his coffee and giving Jongin a judgmental look over his mug.

Child.

Children.

Babies!

There was a slight possibility that Jongin choked on his food at remembering his newfound desire to have a child of his very own. And there was also a possibility that Kyungsoo judged him more for it, before looking at him questioningly when Jongin had stopped dying. When Jongin didn’t speak, he did.

“I’m guessing you’ve just remembered what was on your mind yesterday?”

Wow, when had he become so see-through to Kyungsoo? (Many, many years ago.) “Maybe,” he mumbled before shoveling food into his face.

“Uh huh.” Kyungsoo didn’t look very impressed. “Do you want to tell me about it or are we keeping secrets now?”

Jongin didn’t like that tone. It made him feel nauseous and the back of his neck became very warm. Swallowing his food suddenly became a challenge as it felt ready to come back up the moment he tried to get it down.

It had been a very long time since he fought with Kyungsoo. And he wanted to keep it that way. The last thing Jongin wanted to deal with was thoughts of Kyungsoo leaving him again. For good…

“No secrets, I promise,” Jongin managed weakly once his food was down. He glanced at the time; Kyungsoo would be leaving soon, but Jongin didn’t want him to leave upset. There wasn’t enough time for him to even try to explain though, and he didn’t think telling Kyungsoo right before he went off to work – and they would be separated the rest of the day – was really the best idea. “I just – don’t know how to say… what I’m thinking about, and I think we need time to talk more thoroughly. It’s nothing bad, I swear.”

Kyungsoo looked him over for a moment before giving a nod. “Alright. I have a feeling I know what this is about anyway, and I’m not making any promises that you’ll get what you want. But we can discuss it after work, alright?”

Despite the fact that his heart had sunk deep into his stomach and his throat was tightening with every second, Jongin nodded quietly. Kyungsoo was exceptionally good at knowing what Jongin was thinking, which meant he was most likely not wrong this time in his guessing. Meaning, Kyungsoo didn’t want a child? Jongin felt shattered. It had only been a day, but he’d already managed to set his whole life around this child he didn’t even have yet. And now he might not ever have it at all…

He barely noticed Kyungsoo finish eating or walk away from the table, though it slightly registered when Jongin felt a kiss on his cheek. It wasn’t very often Kyungsoo was the one to kiss him.

“Don’t be too sad,” Kyungsoo told him lightly. “We’ll talk about it later. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Jongin mumbled, trying not to let his disappointment show too much. When Kyungsoo left, he was very strongly tempted to curl up on the floor and stay there forever, but he managed to at least get to their bed for that.

Not the end of the world. At least you still have Kyungsoo…

“

It was a terrible day of waiting for Kyungsoo to come home for Jongin, torn between anxiously anticipating his return and fearing the rejection that had already been practically confirmed to him. Jongin didn’t even know what to do with himself; he tried to clean up the house a bit but ended up giving up soon as he found the lack of desire to do absolutely anything overwhelming. Eventually he just ended up playing video games, although his ability to focus wasn’t at all there and he did brutally. It crossed his mind that maybe if he did clean, or if he made dinner or something, Kyungsoo would be in a better mood and maybe be more open-minded about it. This prompted Jongin to get up about an hour before he expected the other home, trying to make something great for them. It didn’t go well; things were burnt and undercooked and tasted bland and bitter and awful. After his failed attempt, Jongin shut the stove off and burst into tears, lying on the couch and crying for the rest of the hour until Kyungsoo came in the door.

Jongin couldn’t even pull himself together enough to say anything when the older arrived, looking very clearly worried. It was a lot for Kyungsoo to walk in on; the place was smoky and smelled like burning, and Jongin was curled up on the couch crying with his face buried in a pillow. Some instinct in Kyungsoo assumed Jongin had injured himself somehow, and the way he was crying suggested it was badly. In a flash he was at Jongin’s side, touching his shoulder gently and internally preparing for the boy to be down a finger or two.

“What happened?” he asked, voice struck with worry as he tried to coax Jongin to roll over. Jongin was a sobbing mess, face covered in tears and eyes notably red and puffy. The moment he caught sight of Kyungsoo he hid his face in his hands – which were thankfully uninjured, ten digits still visible and unharmed. Kyungsoo was starting to feel hugely concerned, not having a clue what was wrong but Jongin was clearly hurting, and that was hurting him too. He sat on the couch and pulled Jongin into his arms, holding him tightly as the poor boy cried into Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“Jongin, seriously, what’s wrong?” It very suddenly occurred to him that someone may have died, and Kyungsoo’s stomach lurched. Was it Jongin’s parents? Or maybe a friend? Sehun or – Baekhyun… They were okay, weren’t they? “Jongin, you’re scaring me. Please say something.”

He could tell Jongin was trying to calm himself enough to speak, but it still took a moment before he managed to choke out, “I d-don’t want – you to say n-no…” And then he went right back to crying.

“Huh?” It took Kyungsoo a moment to comprehend. “Wait, so no one’s dead?” Jongin shook his head slightly and Kyungsoo had to literally breathe a sigh of relief. It was a short-lived moment of happiness before he began to feel very annoyed, realizing what it was Jongin was so upset about. “For goodness sake, Jongin, I thought something had happened to your family, or Baekhyun! Are you actually this upset about that?”

“It’s imp-portant…”

Kyungsoo really had to restrain himself from hitting the idiot. “Okay, but really. This is an overreaction. I realize you are dramatic but I was really scared for a minute there. I haven’t even said no yet so what are you crying for?” He pushed Jongin up to face him, holding his shoulders firmly and giving him a stern look. Jongin went back to covering his face with his hands, unable to stop crying, and Kyungsoo sighed, rubbing his back and cooing until Jongin was a bit calmer. Then he reached for a tissue and handed it to the younger, letting him wipe his eyes and blow his nose.

“Are you gonna be alright now?” Kyungsoo asked him gently. He received a very ambiguous sound which he took to mean Only if I get what I want. Sighing, Kyungsoo leaned in and hugged him again, squeezing him and kissing his cheek. “My big baby.” Jongin sniffled and rubbed at his eyes again. “Alright, then sell me on this. Crying and nearly burning the place down is not enough to convince me.”

Jongin took a deep breath, pulling back and not looking Kyungsoo in the eye. Knowing him, he was embarrassed about his puffy crying face and didn’t want the older to look at him while he wasn’t beautiful (since, in Jongin’s mind, his wonderful face was a great convincer when he wanted something). Kyungsoo just waited patiently, not caring about what Jongin looked like at the moment – because in all honesty, he loved Jongin no matter how bad he looked, and frankly seeing Jongin upset like this only made Kyungsoo more inclined to give into him. (Jongin had successfully worked his way into a place that made Kyungsoo very vulnerable to him, which Kyungsoo thought was a very dangerous thing but his love for Jongin was enough that he didn’t even mind it anymore.)

“Okay,” Jongin began shakily. “So… I think it’s time. I think – we’re in the – the right place and… and this is something I really, really want.” Kyungsoo held back a smile, secretly admiring how serious Jongin was about this. The younger glanced up at him, looking slightly hopeful but also hopeless, as though he knew Kyungsoo had already made up his mind and there was no point in even trying. He continued anyway. “I know it – won’t be easy and it will be a lot of work and it’s a long term commitment and all that, but I – I know I can do it. I’m not totally new to it, right? I can take care of them and you can do all the reasonable stuff like keeping us alive and everything but I think that we should… We aren’t getting any younger and I don’t want to be like an old parent or – or-“

“Wait – parent?” Kyungsoo blinked then laughed, slightly amused. “You take this so seriously don’t you?” Jongin was frowning, clearly not understanding, and Kyungsoo was starting to think they might not be on the same page here anymore. “Isn’t this… aren’t you trying to harass me into getting a puppy?”

“N-no?” Jongin’s eyes were blank but Kyungsoo could practically hear his mind whirring as he too realized they were apparently not thinking the same things. “I mean, I still want a puppy but-”

“Oh my gosh,” Kyungsoo breathed as it all clicked.

Jongin nodded slightly. “I want a baby,” he mumbled quietly.

All Kyungsoo could do for a moment was blink. His ears were ringing, and he wasn’t unsure time didn’t stop for a moment. (Obviously it didn’t, but it really did feel like it.) Wow. A – baby…

“That’s – that’s serious,” Kyungsoo said finally when he was able to process how to speak again.

“I know,” Jongin returned weakly. “But we’re getting old and I’m scared if we don’t have one soon we never will…”

Kyungsoo wasn’t quite sure why he was starting to feel lightheaded. This is a common occurrence when someone is shocked. You are shocked, Kyungsoo. “You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” he said softly, glancing at Jongin who was still looking hopelessly hopeful. He gave a sigh, and then nodded. “It is something I’ve been thinking about for a while too, actually. Ever since Baek and Chanyeol got Jieun. But I didn’t want to even worry about that until we were married and really committed to each other. You never brought it up though – and you work with kids, I figured if you wanted them you’d have said something long ago. I thought you were just going to get a puppy and that would be our baby, and it would be good enough for you.

“I’ve thought about it. Looked into it, honestly,” he admitted. “I wasn’t really sure how I felt about it, but I thought if you wanted it then I’d be alright with it. We’re both stable enough in our careers, in our relationship… The next year or two is probably the best time to settle into it, either with a child or without one.”

He was starting to feel like he was talking too much, and it sort of seemed like he had broken Jongin. The boy had become non-responsive, just sort of staring at Kyungsoo blankly with wide, starry eyes. Kyungsoo knew that most of what he was saying probably wasn’t even being heard right now, and his next question would most likely be-

“Is that a yes then?”

Kyungsoo laughed and patted Jongin’s cheek, genuinely adoring him to death. “It’s a yes if you will research it and seriously think about exactly what this is going to mean for you and for us.” There was a moment of silence (more like a second of silence) and then Kyungsoo was being jumped on and hugged and Jongin was crying again. Kyungsoo just laughed again and hugged him back, accepting in that moment that in the near future he would be going from having one baby to two.

“So how long have you been withholding this from me?”

“…Well…”

“

The following summer – Jongin was annoyingly lame in his enthusiasm about how it was precisely nine months later – the pair had resettled in a new, two-bedroom apartment with their little bundle of joy. Her name was Harin, and she was a little over a year old. She had been abandoned by her mother and found in the street, brought to an orphanage just a couple months before they met her. Jongin thought she was the cutest thing he had ever seen; Kyungsoo adored her, and adored how wonderful Jongin was with her even more.

Neither of them had to take off work, besides the first two weeks that Jongin stayed home with her so they could get used to one another. Jongin used his vacation time for this. After that, he took Harin to work with him, and she was the centre of attention with the kids. For the most part, she would just crawl around on the floor or sit and nap or watch Jongin. She was still learning to walk, but she would clap and jiggle her legs when they played music. Jongin loved her; he could tell she was going to be a dancer too.

It was impossible for him to get mad at her. Even when she cried – which wasn’t a whole lot – or woke him up in the middle of the night, Jongin was just always happy with her. Kyungsoo seemed to get annoyed with Jongin (when he spoiled her, which was frequently), but even he didn’t seem able to be upset with her. Jongin knew he would become more stern with her one day, but at least for the time being it seemed Kyungsoo liked her too much. (The same could not be said for Jongin, but Jongin understood. Kyungsoo hadn’t seen him as a baby so Jongin’s childhood charm hadn’t had the opportunity to work on him.)

Jongin was officially the star of his family again – well, Harin was, but he got the ripples of love showered on her. More importantly, he had his own little family to love and look after. He had a baby who was his world, and even though Kyungsoo did a lot to take care of them – making the money, making the food, keeping the house clean, giving them all of his love – Jongin found himself doing so much more than he had ever expected. He spent nearly every waking moment with Harin, playing with her and telling her stories, bathing her, getting her dressed, taking her out places. It was exhausting, but Jongin enjoyed every second of it.

Having Harin took a toll on Jongin and Kyungsoo’s relationship, but Jongin never stopped loving Kyungsoo any less. They didn’t have much alone time anymore (which was quite a change from having all their time alone together), and they weren’t able to be as ually active (since they were both too tired for it most days). It did make Jongin worry sometimes, but Kyungsoo had told him many times to expect it before Harin arrived, and he promised that he still loved Jongin very much once she was there. It’s not easy to be a parent. We’re going to have to make sacrifices. Sacrifices Jongin didn’t like, but he knew it wasn’t forever. Besides, he would much rather have less time with Kyungsoo than no time with him. There was no way he was ever leaving the older, and Kyungsoo had no intent to leave either.

One evening that October, Jongin was curled up to Kyungsoo on the couch, Harin in his lap dozing off. They had had a long day and Jongin was overly tired, beginning to mumble a lot of nonsense. After a few minutes of mumbling he nuzzled into Kyungsoo’s neck, falling quiet for a bit. Kyungsoo assumed he had fallen asleep, until Jongin spoke up softly again.

“I’m so glad I met you,” he murmured, eyes closed. “I’m glad we got together, and I’m glad you came back to me when I never deserved you…” He was breathing slowly, and Kyungsoo wasn’t even sure he was awake. Kyungsoo took his hand and squeezed it, and Jongin squeezed back. “I’m so happy you married me, and now we have Harin… Meeting you is the greatest thing that ever happened to me…”

Kyungsoo smiled, leaning his head against Jongin’s contently. “So cheesy, my sleepy bear. Don’t ever change.”

Jongin started snoring, and Kyungsoo was sure he never would.

A/n: Cheesy and cheerful spinoff. I don't know why this is what I felt like writing but there you are. Let me know what you think :)