"I am Suho, i am your guardian" i smiled but the man in front of me was still crying, still looking at his remains.

 

"I'm sorry... but the thing is you need to go now, it's been 49 days" i said.

 

"I was only 24" he said still sobbing.

And i was 22.

 

"I know, and i am .. terribly , terribly sorry but this happens" I explained.

"Are you blaming me? Are you saying this is my fault? Huh. Do you think accident's some reasons?" He said.

"No, but

"But! But! But! My mother is dying! She is dying" he cut me off.

 

I caress his shoulders and he looked at me.

I smiled

"Heaven can't wait to see you"

His face softens.

....

"Are you tired?" Kai said to me.

 

He was dead three years ago by some accident.

He was the one who tells me where to go next.

He was with the person who takes their 49 days then after that I'll walk them to the gate.

 

The heavens gate

"Nope, not even once" i smiled.

 

"Such an optimistic person, why are you being so positive? I'm kind of tired, I'll let others take my place for a month" he laughed.

"How old are you when you died?" I asked.

 

He looked at me and smirks.

"This is heaven bro" i said.

"Okay, I'm 19 why?" he answered.

"Every time i send someone to the gate, they sobbed and tell me how young are they. Some people were okay with it, the old one's" i explained.

"Dude, who wants to be dead?"

 

No one.

No one wants.

 

"Earth is a place were people lives. Committing sins and repent on it, earth is a place a least i don't want to be" kai said.

"Haven't you long for someone?" I asked.

 

"I've always been, but this makes things more complicated because.. i can wait to see them here" he said.

"What if they don't come here?"

 

"Then, i must go on with this, learn to accept things" he said.

"I know , that you know that once you enter heaven, you don't know who you are, you don't know who you once loved and hated." I said trying to make sense.

 

"We're both just assigned to some things. We're both seeking for something right. What is yours?" I added.

"I still don't know" he said.

 

"When I came here, you were the one to tell me 'heaven can't wait' i don't know what to do so i just look at you and accept what is coming" he continued.

"I was longing for something.. for someo-

 

"Suho, you need to walk the people to heavens gate now, oh kai hello" xiumin waved at kai.

"Okay then" i smiled walking to the door.

...
"So, uh.. sorry for your .. "

What to say to someone who is dead?

'Congratulations you're dead!' is a not so nice thought.

But

Who doesn't want to enter heaven?

 

But they're still affected by their aftermath.

I sighed.

 

I hope each and everyone can recover.

 

"I'm sorry but heaven can't wait to see you" i look them in the eye and just smiled.

They all looked at me and softens.

"You're all finished to your 49 days, and now.. you need now to enter heaven" i explained.

They just stare at me and keep listening.

"I'm sorry to tell you this but.. once you enter heaven you don't..

 

You don't.."

 

I stopped when I saw a familiar face on the crowd.

 

Jaehee

 

This isn't right.

 

Why is she here?

 

"Sir? Sir?" a man snap me out of my thought.

 

It was her.

I'm sure she is.

 

"You don't remember a thing.." i finished.

"Bro, hey Xiumin ask if you ca-" Kai said to me while looking at the people in front of me.

"Hey ,bro, are you here?"

 

She is ..

She looked back at me.

 

"Bro, they had been erased, the memories of them, they only knew that they died.. bro, bro, yo bro?"

 

She doesn't remember me?

 

She doesn't recognize me?

This can't be.

 

"I'm out of here, I'm tired... I'm sorry" i said walking away.

...
Suho's POV
October 5, 2003

 

It was a typical Monday morning in Seoul National.

Or was it a typical morning to normal students?

 

"I don't need some lunch money, i want your answers. Since it was exam week, i need it. You're a morning session. If you can't give it. I'll let the whole school beat you up. Understand? Now give it you idiot"

"I- i .. i haven't.. i haven't written my answers.. forgive me" he knelt down.

 

"Forgive me.. suho" he said.

"Good luck next morning" i said walking out.

 

I heard him sob.

Next morning came and that idiot didn't came.

Well,

I don't care.

 

"Suho! Jin is in the hospital! He .. he " sehun panting, said to me.

"Bla bla bla, what now? Hang? Cut himself, pills. Jeez, leave the man Sehun. Who doesn't want to die?" I said carelessly.

"But-

 

I cut him off, grab his collar to the nearest wall. I faced him, inches dividing us.

"Want to go after him?" I said.

"Nn..no.." he said stuttering

"Then get ahead of yourself idiot" i let him stumble to the ground.

 

I've been dead my whole life.

I was walking my way out to the door when i bumped to someone.

 

Ugh

Not just someone.

 

Yoo Jaehee.

"What now, you gonna mock me?" She's been looking at me since our kindergarten days.

Idiot.

 

"No" she said then walked out.

 

Did she..

Did she just walked out?

 

"Yah Yoo Jaehee!" I called her.

 

I didn't even know why.

She faced me.

And i don't know what now.

 

She stared at me for a moment then looked away and started walking

And for the first time in my lifetime..

I became speechless.

 

...
My whole class, i was staring at her.

 

Why did i?

Since kindergarten until college we are in the same class.

 

Why look at her now Suho?

When the class ends her friends looks at her then to me and giggled.

She took a glance at me and blink.

 

That ain't cute girl.

 

But suddenly she look away.

 

Weird

Weird

 

Weird

 

She's weird.

 

"Hey hyung, you okay?" Kyungsoo asked.

"Yo, bro, you keep looking at Jaehee" Chanyeol's deep voice said.

"I was not?!" I immediately said.

"Yyo you werre staring at Jaerin" i defended.

 

 

"Oh dude, are you gay?" sehun said

I immediately looked at him and gave my finest

Cold face.

"One more" i said.

...
It was a typical evening for a man at my age to just stay outside the whole night.

 

But i was not in the bar or club

 

I was not even looking for some horoscope thing to read some tarot cards for me.

I was at night just walking.

 

Something caught my eye.

 

Is that Jaehee?

I came closer to her and saw her looking at the sky.

"Go home" i said.

"Why do you care?" She asked.

"Because i am here and if something happens to you id be a witnessed. I don't want to explain things. That's the least I would like to do Jaeha" i said pretending that I don't know her name.

 

She smiled.

"This morning, you just called me by my whole name" she said.

 

Idiot.

 

"I saw your i.d." i excused

"We do not use i.d. we scan our fingers" she once again said to me.

I smiled at her.

"I'm not good at lying am i?" I asked.

 

"The famous Kim Joonmyeon is talking to me awhile ago, that caught my attention, now Suho is smiling at me, i am now curious" she said.

I immediately made my face stiff.

 

"You don't always need to pretend like you're okay, if you're not" she explained.

"You don't know me, so don't mock me" i said.

"i am not mocking you, I'm stating the obvious, why act strong and superior if deep inside you're not?"

 

Why did i talk to her.

I turn my shoes and ready to walk

"Why are you like that?" She asked.

The question I've been asking my whole life.

I gulped and faced her

 

" Again, you don't kno-

 

"I have a crush on you" she said.

 

Suddenly.

 

So sudden

 

"Ww-whaat?" I said.

 

She smiled.

 

"I have a crush on you, and even if i tell you, i hope nothing changes" she said.

Nothing change?

 

Jeez, that made you adorable.

 

Girls.

 

Always saying

 

I hope nothing changes.

 

Pshh

They're so clingy.

This girl would be someone like

Mrs. Suho.

 

Jeez. Jeez. Jeez.

 

No way.

I don't want her.

Never

No 
Just no

what if she-

 

She laughed.

I looked at her.

"What? Why'd you laugh?" I asked.

 

"I just want you to stop thinking" she said.

 

Stop thinking?

I don't understand

Thinking what?

Of her?

Over my--

 

She laughed again

"Now what?!" Then I realized..

I was thinking again

 

"You're doing it again" she said.

I just looked at her while she was staring at the stars.

"I mean it" she said then she looked at me.

"I hope nothing changes"

I sighed.

Girls.

...
The other morning came. I saw her at the hall and I was expecting

 

'Hey, thanks for staying last night bla bla bla'

 

But i . I walked pass her but nothing happens.

I open the door to the room and enter it.

 

I scoffed.

Really? Playing hard to get?!

 

"Wohw, what's with the scoffing?" Chanyeol said.

"Can you believe it?" I said still scoffing.

"What ? What?" The boys said.

"She said she had a crush on me then she just ignore me?" I said hysterically.

 

"She to the he?" Kyungsoo said.

"Hyung, did she say, i hope nothing changes?" Sehun said.

 

"Exactly! And now she's ignoring me like noth-" I immediately stopped.

Nothing changes.

 

I was changing.

"Hyung? Hyung?" Sehun said.

"She is playing around? She is playing me!" I said standing up and pointing myself.

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