The understanding girlfriend, that’s what I’ve been called anyways. 

“Oh you are so understanding”. 

“Changmin is lucky to have someone as understanding as you”.

Being the secret girlfriend of TVXQ’s Changmin is anything but easy but I knew that when the relationship started so understanding was what I needed to be.  I know that he can’t spend a lot of time with me and that work comes first.  I also know that girls are part of the job description; whether it is fans or co-workers so see no reason to be jealous.  Above all, I trust him and try my best to be, as everyone says, understanding.

Recently though it’s been getting harder and harder to stay this understanding.  More often than not, he has been canceling plans with me to go out with his friends, who also have time off, or to see his family, along with a number of other reasonable explanations.  I completely understand and don’t want to be selfish.  I know I’m not the only one in his life and I would never keep him from his friends and family or anything like that but every time he calls saying he can’t keep plans with me because of something else, I feel like I’ve been knocked even lower on his priority list.

Currently I am putting the finishing touches on the dinner I made both of us.  Changmin is supposed to come over after practice since he is being let off earlier than normal and I couldn’t be more excited since he promised that this time he would be over for sure.  I look at the clock and saw that it was ten minutes later than when Changmin had said he would be over.  Ten minutes, no big deal, practice probably just ran late or he got tied up talking to someone.  Ten minutes turn into twenty minutes and I start to get worried since there were no messages on my phone.  Changmin is always on time and if he’s not gong to be, he always leaves me a message saying he’s going to be late.  Thirty minutes later and still no sign of Changmin I decide to send him a text seeing if he was going to be on his way soon since practice must of ran long.

Me: Hey, how much longer is practice going to be?

Changmin: Practice has been done for a while now. 

Me: Oh…so where are you?

Changmin: Eating pizza with Victoria.  Why?

Me: You said you would come over for dinner after practice…

Changmin: ! I’m so sorry sweetheart.  It completely slipped my mind. I promise to make it up to you.

Me: That’s ok, have a good night :)

Changmin: I really am sorry…thanks for being so understanding

And there’s that word again, understanding, he thinks I’m being understanding when in reality I’m crying.  He forgot about me.  He actually forgot about me.  Not only that but because of another woman.  Despite this, I still trust him enough to not be cheating but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. 

Not hungry anymore, I put the food I made away and since it’s Friday night, I decide to not wallow in self-pity and pick myself back up by making plans to go out with my closest friend who also happens to be my coworker and his new girlfriend, who he’s been dying for me to meet.  After changing into a dress more suited for an evening out and fixing my hair and makeup, I leave to go meet my friend and his girlfriend at a local restaurant that is near by.  After all of the introductions are out of the way, dinner consists of a mix of the girlfriend and I getting to know each other and my  friend criticizing Changmin, or my mystery boyfriend as he knows him as, for not only canceling on me but for straight up forgetting me.  After dinner we decide to go out for drinks and dancing.  A few drinks in, I’m feeling a lot better about my night and am actually having fun.  Around one in the morning we decide to leave and my friend insists on walking me home after making sure his girlfriend, who lives not too far from me gets home too.  After a friendly hug and a thanks for the fun night out, I walk back into my apartment only for my happy feeling to immediately come crashing down.

“Where have you been?” A very angry Changmin greets.

“I was out with one of my friends,” I say shortly, quickly getting mad myself.  

“It was that guy from work wasn’t it?” He asks hotly.

 “Yes it was, after you canceled on me, I called him to see if he wanted to meet for dinner and drinks.”  I say, and I can see the jealousy written all over his face.

“I came over to surprise you only for you to not be here and all of my messages went unanswered.  Now I find out that you were out with another man.  Are you cheating on me?”  He asks, completely beyond reason and that question is all it takes for me to really snap.

“How dare you ask that?  YOU were the one that forgot about me for another woman.  I try to be as understanding as I can and not once have I ever said that you couldn’t spend time with your friends or coworkers.  What did you expect me to do, sit around at home alone, waiting for you like a pet?  Do you know what? Just leave, I can’t do this right now” I yell at the now shocked Changmin, who is just standing there, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

“You said you were ok with it…” It says, voice void of all emotions.

“I know I’m not high priority in your life but I trust you.  All I ask for is the same in return.” I say, all anger drained away as fast as it arrived.  Now I’m just tired so without another work, I walk away to my bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind me.